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Old 04-19-2018, 07:08 PM   #41321
Simple Fan
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WWE is terrible with their development though so that's a blessing. He's much better off doing what he has and waiting until WWE brings him in as Eli Drake instead of WWE forming him into whatever they would have wanted him to be.
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Old 04-19-2018, 07:10 PM   #41322
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He is; we aren't.
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Old 04-19-2018, 08:54 PM   #41323
Shadrick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noid View Post
Lol, Eli Drake is claiming that he was blackballed by the WWE for 5 years or so, and that he didn't get into developmental until his 10th in the business. It couldn't just be because you're fucking terrible, could it? Dummy! Yeah! Dummy! Fuck.
i literally lol'd
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Old 04-19-2018, 10:47 PM   #41324
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First tweet has several more cases presented as evidence of Hogan never being a good guy in the WWF.
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:01 PM   #41325
SlickyTrickyDamon
Quark is Less Impressed.
 
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The Luster brother. You can see the lust in his eyes!
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:36 PM   #41326
screech
Shelly Martinez = Ratings
 
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Who the hell is Eli Drake?
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:41 PM   #41327
Helmsphere
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Some guy that Creature of the night creams his panties over, and will wish Death on once he makes it to NXT somehow
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:59 PM   #41328
SlickyTrickyDamon
Quark is Less Impressed.
 
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Simple Fan is Creature of the Night?

He was the impact/global/tna champion for a little bit. A cheap copy of the Rock but with Hogan orange skin.
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Old 04-20-2018, 12:14 AM   #41329
GD
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emperor Smeat View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guru Devendra Banhart View Post
Becky Lynch resisting that quinoa

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Old 04-20-2018, 12:21 AM   #41330
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Old 04-20-2018, 12:53 AM   #41331
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Old 04-20-2018, 01:43 AM   #41332
Dark One
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I had this inflicted on me so now all of the rest of you have to suffer.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:27 AM   #41333
DaveWadding
LIMITLESS
 
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I just read that the next Impact on Twitch special is called Penta Does Iowa and it's on Cinco de Mayo...
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:38 AM   #41334
Juan
Doin' It Right
 
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Old 04-20-2018, 08:19 AM   #41335
Savio
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Glad they stopped doing those 'Comedy' segments.
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Old 04-20-2018, 09:20 AM   #41336
Simple Fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlickyTrickyDamon View Post
Simple Fan is Creature of the Night?

He was the impact/global/tna champion for a little bit. A cheap copy of the Rock but with Hogan orange skin.
Not Creature, I don't hate WWE or any promotion not named Impact. I think he souds alot more like Flair while delivering most promos and his persona matches up better with Ric than it does The Rock.
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Old 04-20-2018, 09:54 AM   #41337
Lock Jaw
Loque Ja
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark One View Post
I had this inflicted on me so now all of the rest of you have to suffer.
B+ segment. Could have been A+ if they had more wacky camera movements, cut away to fan reaction shots every few seconds, and maybe when Ron Simmons said DAMN, they should have put up a large graphic that also read DAMN, just to hammer home the point.
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Old 04-20-2018, 10:34 AM   #41338
Cool King
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Old 04-20-2018, 10:37 AM   #41339
Jordan
It's a blood match!
 
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That was pretty damn funny.
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Old 04-20-2018, 10:44 AM   #41340
Dark One
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SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK. ILLEGAL TACTICS.

BRING ON DRUNK UNCLE BOOKER
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Old 04-20-2018, 10:45 AM   #41341
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Unless this means the commentary team will be Cole / Coach / Booker because Graves is being locked in to Smackdown.

Who are we kidding? That won't happen. There can only be one black guy at a time.
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Old 04-20-2018, 10:48 AM   #41342
Cool King
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I really hope it's a one-off thing.
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Old 04-20-2018, 12:00 PM   #41343
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I saw someone wearing a Revival T-Shirt today and it made me think of STD.
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Old 04-20-2018, 12:01 PM   #41344
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It also made me think of their theme and also how their T-shirt looks a bit silly with "JUST FISTS" written on it.
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Old 04-20-2018, 12:03 PM   #41345
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The Revival's "Just Fists" thing really needs context all the time.

Without it, it all comes across as sounding "a bit wrong".
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Old 04-20-2018, 12:47 PM   #41346
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( ._.)
 
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Especially when it's on the ass end of their trunks.
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Old 04-20-2018, 01:24 PM   #41347
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool King View Post
The Revival's "Just Fists" thing really needs context all the time.

Without it, it all comes across as sounding "a bit wrong".
Gutted that Gulak has since deleted the tweet, but he tweeted to them "Fist them good, guys!" once
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:06 PM   #41348
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Map of who was the biggest stars during the Territory era of wrestling although text is a bit blurry.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:19 PM   #41349
Dark One
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark One View Post



SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK. ILLEGAL TACTICS.

BRING ON DRUNK UNCLE BOOKER
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark One View Post
Unless this means the commentary team will be Cole / Coach / Booker because Graves is being locked in to Smackdown.

Who are we kidding? That won't happen. There can only be one black guy at a time.

Looks like it is indeed Coach getting replaced, and Vince has been taking some cues from his wife's boss.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:24 PM   #41350
Anybody Thrilla
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I love Booker, but Coach was really growing on me. What's up here?
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:25 PM   #41351
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Zelina Vega might be the sexiest woman on the planet.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:33 PM   #41352
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla View Post
I love Booker, but Coach was really growing on me. What's up here?
Coach is doing some golf channel stuff next week, according to his Twitter timeline (which is kind of incomprehensible BRANDING, so best guess here). Depending on interpretation, he may be back the week after.

Although David Otunga was "out filming a movie for a few weeks" and that movie has been filming for almost two years now.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:35 PM   #41353
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Really hope Booker tries to cram in every one of his nonsensical catch phrases in the three hour span.

"SHUCKY DUCKY 'DIS GUY RIGHT HERE KEEPS USIN' THEM JASON JORDAN ILLEGAL TACTICS. DEFINITELY GOIN' IN MY FAVE FIVE"
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:39 PM   #41354
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I can't wait to hear his grunts after nearly every move.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:41 PM   #41355
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But seriously, his grunts are probably the worst thing about him.

I'll probably go "grunt counting" when I watch Raw and report back with the numbers.
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Old 04-20-2018, 06:31 PM   #41356
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Quote:
Originally Posted by screech View Post
Who the hell is Eli Drake?
He's an absolutely awful TNA wrestler. He flopped in WWE developmental and was hired by TNA because he's the sort of scunge with a hollow enough personality for reality television, and he appeared on The Rock's superhero show. Everything he does is him trying to force charisma that doesn't exist out of his body. He also has some of the worst catchphrases in wrestling, including announcing his name weird and going "Dummy! Yeah! Dummy! Yeah!" over and over again until the audience dumb enough to attend TNA shows starts repeating it along with him, in a vain attempt to seem over.
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Old 04-20-2018, 06:51 PM   #41357
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So we know Noid is a big fan, who else can explain Eli Drake?
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Old 04-20-2018, 07:01 PM   #41358
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark One View Post
Really hope Booker tries to cram in every one of his nonsensical catch phrases in the three hour span.

"SHUCKY DUCKY 'DIS GUY RIGHT HERE KEEPS USIN' THEM JASON JORDAN ILLEGAL TACTICS. DEFINITELY GOIN' IN MY FAVE FIVE"
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW HERE WE GO!
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Old 04-20-2018, 07:06 PM   #41359
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I'm a fan of him like I'm a fan of herpes and hemorrhoids. I hate him with such a preoccupation that I've studied up on his career to work out how he could possibly be so bad. Someone joked that he must have fucked my missus or something, but I want him in my life so bad I would welcome him to make a rational enemy out of me.

Fuck Eli Drake and anyone that supports his career. He might be a nice guy in real life or whatever. I don't wish harm on him. I just want him out of a field of entertainment I want to enjoy, but can't, because I know that somewhere, somehow, money that could go to feeding someone with talent is being siphoned to that hammy hack.

He's been wrestling since 2002. He has as much experience as Shinsuke fucking Nakamura. There is no reason that a a 16-year veteran of the business sucks so bad. He's 35 years old and looks like a balding accountant that moonlights as a stripper in his spare time because his singing career hasn't taken off, because he fucking sucks. We all know losers like Eli Drake, because we all know fucking losers. That TNA made him a World Champion is indicative of why they are completely irrelevant as a wrestling promotion and why no one will ever take them seriously, and their perpetual existence is a running gag.

The thing is, I'm sure he tries hard and has improved since I saw him. That is the saddest part. He's not lazy or phoning it in. This is what he can muster. That is what 16 years of trying to be a professional wrestler have amounted to. He doesn't completely fall over his feet and tries to cut a promo like The Rock and fails. Congratu-fucking-lations.

Eli Drake is the uncle that laughs at his own jokes and slaps people on the back, spilling their drink onto their shirt and calls them "champ," but has a thousand-yard stare because deep-down they are miserable because they know that their entire personality is a propped-up lie.

Fuck Eli Drake. Best of luck in his future endeavors or whatever. If WWE signs him, and they probably will, I will 100% boycott whatever show he is on, even if Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles are in the main event and Becky Lynch does hardcore porn on it. I will not illegally stream content he appears on. I wouldn't deliver the reel to a dying child if it was their last wish should he appear on it. He is the dirt worst and I dare someone to try and defend his position in the wrestling business. I fucking dare them.
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Old 04-20-2018, 07:12 PM   #41360
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I would rather get fucked by an automated dildo-thrusting machine whilst watching "Punjabi Prison: A Collection" followed by "The Best of Jinder Mahal" than listen to one fucking cunty Eli Drake promo. Vince Russo is more endearing as a television personality than him. He has less charisma than expired carton of lactose-free milk. An inanimate carbon rod would be a bigger draw. Zach Gowen taking a shit would be more compelling, should they manage to get footage of that and play it instead of whatever the fuck Eli Drake is trying to do. I have thought about digging into my savings and making an offer on TNA just so I can close it up and no one has to see him anymore, and his family no longer feel compelled to provide Impact with 40% of their viewing audience.

So yes...I guess you could say I am a simple fan.
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