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Old 07-15-2019, 01:15 AM   #481
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Thank god for loops.
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Old 07-15-2019, 03:30 AM   #482
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I'm positive those two have licked each others vaginas.
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Old 07-15-2019, 07:22 AM   #483
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They most definitely have. And Tye Dillinger has probably gotten to experience an IIconic threesome.
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Old 07-15-2019, 07:30 AM   #484
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They've somehow unintentionally made Rowan the strongest booked wrestler in the company. Bryan ALWAYS takes the fall for the team.

I say unintentionally because I highly doubt they're going to have Rowan go solo for some monster push. I really think it's just a result of Vince looking at the two of them and believing on principle that the little guy has to be the one eating the pin in a big guy/little guy tag team.
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Old 07-15-2019, 01:59 PM   #485
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Just wanted to make sure it made this page too.
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Old 07-15-2019, 03:33 PM   #486
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Official Extreme Rules Ratings
Nakamura vs Balor ** 3/4

They worked well together and did a fine job for opening the PPV and having a title change in 7 minutes. This should have been a bigger deal than it was, should've been on a main event of Smackdown!.

Gulak vs Neese ***

Solid work from both guys. Gulak seems to be making a spot for him in WWE and Neese isn't too far behind him. Neese looks amazing, why isn't he a big deal... stupid.

Graveyard Dogs vs Shane & Drew ****

Yeah I got high for this one. This had the legend of the Undertaker involved and in a big surprise, he was in the best shape and condition we've seen since the Hell in a Cell with Triple H. His work was solid aside from a minor stumble with the tombstone on Shane but you can just as well put that on Shane. I enjoyed Roman, they shouldn't have cut off Taker's music at the end for Roman's though. I am pretty sure we are going to see Drew and Taker, and I could imagine it being pretty good. Drew is physically strong enough to man handle Taker and I think that would keep the match together. I really enjoyed this.

Revival vs The Uso's ***

Kind of felt like a basic Uso's/Revival match which isn't that bad of a thing actually.

Alister Black vs Cesaro *** 3/4

Awesome match. Looking at the results it was about 10 minutes long, it felt longer than it was, in a good way. What a perfect finish.

Bailey vs Cross & Bliss **

I thought this was stupid but all three of them did good work.

Lashley vs Stroman **

Yeah you're not going to get me with crowd brawling and bullshit concession spots. The gimmick bump was fucking stupid. Yeah Braun can break through thin wood, cool. Fuck off. Lashley sucks.

Smackdown Three Way *** 1/2

This match rode the line of above average to really good and could have gone further with more time but fuck at this point we don't want more time we've seen too much already.

AJ vs Ricochet ***

Ricochet sucks with short hair.


Owens vs Ziggler **

Because it was short.

Kofi vs Joe ***

Odd match.... they are really underwhelming with Kofi but he himself is fucking gold. Good work, quick ending which is cool.

Winner Takes All Tag Match *** 1/2

Some really good stuff and some down spots that really did bring everything down a bit. I loved Lacey Evans, Becky was great... Seth and Baron were just kind of there until the end. Seth beating down Baron for hitting Becky was great. I just wish that he'd have hit him is the fucking head with the kendo stick not the arm, what the fuck... and yeah I don't give a shit about this no chair shots to the head. If I was gonna hit someone with a chair I'm going to aim for the head, not the back like some overly concerned pussy. Don't like that? Then stop using chairs and think of something else. I'm so sick of WWE always running from what they are, wrestling.
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Old 07-15-2019, 03:38 PM   #487
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Ricochet would look weird with long hair.
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Old 07-15-2019, 03:48 PM   #488
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Old 07-15-2019, 03:50 PM   #489
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Holy shit.

Ricochet is my favorite thing on Raw right now.
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Old 07-15-2019, 04:04 PM   #490
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Wonder if he'd already discovered his affinity for fingering his asshole by that point.
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Old 07-15-2019, 04:28 PM   #491
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Yes
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Old 07-15-2019, 04:29 PM   #492
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I’m hoping they say fuck it and just give us AJ vs Ricochet in a ladder match for the US title at SummerSlam.

Ricochet could be a huge babyface. Slow build him up. Let him be the one to stand up to Shane and out-Shane Shane at WM with a crazy bump to win and send Shane to fuck off TV for a year.
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Old 07-15-2019, 06:22 PM   #493
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James Steele View Post
I’m hoping they say fuck it and just give us AJ vs Ricochet in a ladder match for the US title at SummerSlam.

Ricochet could be a huge babyface. Slow build him up. Let him be the one to stand up to Shane and out-Shane Shane at WM with a crazy bump to win and send Shane to fuck off TV for a year.
That is a very solid idea
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Old 07-16-2019, 11:32 PM   #494
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James Steele View Post
Ricochet would look weird with long hair.
Maybe... but isn't that more of one of those "what you're used to" things? I mean, Scotty Steiner seemed weird as fuck when he shaved the mullet and grew the goat after all those years, and now that is *the* recognized look that you couldn't imagine otherwise.

If Ricochet still had the long hair when he "got big", people would prob'ly be asking him all the time why he shaved it off now.

On a side note, though... his eyebrows seem weird to me. Like two strips of felt glued to his forehead. Like a Muppet. The hair seems to call more attention to them. Perhaps that's why the shave.
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Old 07-16-2019, 11:38 PM   #495
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James Steele View Post
I’m hoping they say fuck it and just give us AJ vs Ricochet in a ladder match for the US title at SummerSlam.

Ricochet could be a huge babyface. Slow build him up. Let him be the one to stand up to Shane and out-Shane Shane at WM with a crazy bump to win and send Shane to fuck off TV for a year.
I actually agree with this. Except the last part. Because of the recent oversaturation, a year seems too soon unless he's just going to make occasional cameos or become a mouthpiece for someone who needs it. His spot on the roster can be better served by someone who needs the rub.
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:33 AM   #496
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Somebody needs to cash in and get over on all the heat Shane has been building.
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Old 07-18-2019, 11:47 AM   #497
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Many people have emailed the office today exclaiming that TPWW's Offical Ratings for Extreme Rules were far more accurate and beloved than the famed Wrestling Observer review by Dirty Dave Meltzer.

SPOILER: show
Quote:
1. Shinsuke Nakamura won the IC title from Finn Balor in 7:35. This wasn’t nearly as good as their TV match. It was good while it lasted, but had no drama or time. Balor missed the coup de grace, and Nakamura hit a Kinshasa to the back of the head and a regular Kinshasa for the pin. **3/4

2. Drew Gulak retained the cruiserweight title over Tony Nese in 7:26. Given Gulak is from Philadelphia, there was a fan base behind him, but most didn’t care about this match. Nese did a 450 with his knees landing on Gulak’s chest for a near fall. After a series of reversals, Gulak hit two power bombs and got the pin after a cyclone crash, which is a neckbreaker like move. **½

3. Undertaker & Roman Reigns beat Drew McIntyre & Shane McMahon in a no rules match in 16:55. This was surprisingly great. McMahon looked fine and Undertaker, coming off several bad matches in a row, looked the best he had in years. Elias interfered and laid out Undertaker with a guitar shot. McIntyre laid out both Undertaker and Reigns with Claymore kicks. Undertaker was put on a table and Shane came off the top rope with an elbow drop onto the announcers table. Shane is 50 years old and he had to play pretty damn far to avoid killing himself. Shane did the coast-to-coast dropkick, knocking a garbage can into Undertaker’s face. It looked like Undertaker was done but Reigns came back. But McIntyre took Reigns out with a Russian leg sweep on the floor. Undertaker sat up and choke slammed Shane and Elias. McIntyre went for another Claymore kick on Undertaker, but Reigns jumped into the ring and speared him. Undertaker gave Shane a tombstone piledriver for the pin. After the match, Reigns left the ring to leave it to Undertaker. The announcers talked of Undertaker being near the end of the line. People have been saying that since 1997. ****

4. The Revival beat The Usos to retain the Raw tag titles in 12:32. Very high quality of wrestling. They did a lot of near falls. Both these teams are great but they had a hard time getting heat early because they weren’t allowed to do all the stuff allowed in the prior match. Dawson did a superplex on Jey and Wilder followed with a splash off the top. But Jimmy splashed Wilder off the top. The Revival then used the shatter machine for the pin. ***½

5. Aleister Black pinned Cesaro in 9:44. This was the only match on the show that had G-1 level work. Everything landed strong, the timing was good and it felt like a fight rather than guys just doing moves, even though they were doing a lot of moves. The only negative is it was too short and the crowd wasn’t with it strongly. Black had a kneebar at one point that Cesaro turned into a sharpshooter, and then Cesaro moved from there into a crossface. Black broke it up with elbows to the high. The two were out there trading blows until Black hit black mass for the pin. ***3/4

6. Bayley retained the Smackdown women’s title in a handicap match over Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross in 10:22. Bliss was noticeably lighter, probably because she’s been sick the past few weeks. They mostly worked on Bayley. Bayley at one point had the Indian deathlock on Cross and a crossface on Bliss at the same time. The finish saw Bliss go for twisted Bliss, but Bayley got her knees up. Cross tagged in and came off the top rope into a knee by Bayley. Bayley then pinned Cross with the Randy Savage elbow. **1/4

7. Braun Strowman beat Bobby Lashley in a last man standing match in 17:29. This was a wild match, brawling in the stands and backstage. They were in the mezzanine and Strowman suplexed Lashley into what appeared to be the concession stand, but the stand actually didn’t have any concessions. Lashley turned the German announce table onto Strowman but he got out before the ten count. It ended with them in the 100 section and Strowman knocked off the gimmicked barricade and powerslammed Lashley off the ledge. They both crashed through a gimmicked floor with the idea they were both badly hurt, even though both were in the Battle Royal the next night. Strowman was also selling nothing of his supposed injury before. Strowman ended up getting out of the rubbish from under the floor to win. The live crowd loved this and were chanting “ECW” when it was over. ***3/4

8. Big E & Xavier Woods won the Smackdown tag team titles in a three-way over champions Daniel Bryan & Rowan and Heavy Machinery in 13:57. This was a great match. Bryan was kicking E hard and slapping him. Bryan did a backflip off the top rope, but E caught him in midair, carried him to his corner and they did the Midnight hour on Bryan and Woods pinned him. Earlier in the match, Machinery did the compactor on Woods but E saved him. There was a series of dives ending when Tucker did a crossbody off the top rope to the floor on E and Rowan. Otis teased a dive but didn’t do it. ****

Paul Heyman said was Philadelphia and he was the entire concept of Extreme. He said that your spoiler is that Brock Lesnar is going to cash in his briefcase and win either the WWE or Universal title tonight. Then he said, “Am I telling you the truth or am I Paul Heyman.”

9. A.J. Styles pinned Ricochet to win the U.S. title in 16:30. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson attacked Ricochet before the match. This was very well worked but never got to the point of being great. Ricochet kept having to deal with Anderson & Gallows. At one point he did dives on all of them. Ricochet had Styles beat with a shooting star press but Anderson told the ref that Styles had his foot under the bottom rope. Ricochet went back to the top rope while Anderson distracted the ref and Gallows swept Styles’ leg so he was crotched on the top rope. Styles climbed up in superplex position, but instead gave him a Styles clash while facing toward the corner and got the pin. ***3/4

10. Kevin Owens pinned Dolph Ziggler in :15. Owens hit the stunner right away for the pin. This was mostly done so Owens could cut another promo on Shane McMahon. He had said that he expected to get suspended or fired but since Undertaker took out Shane, he lived another day. He said Shane can kiss his ass and go right to hell.

11. Kofi Kingston pinned Samoa Joe in 9:45 to retain the WWE title. Joe put Kingston hand in between the ring steps and smashed the steps on them. He asked him “Whose No.1 now?” The crowd was quiet as this was a long show and they were tired. Plus, the match didn’t build at all. Joe got the choke and Kingston tried to climb the ropes and kick off but Joe just let him go. Fans were chanting “We Want Lesnar. No We Don’t.” Kingston hit trouble in paradise out of nowhere, and pretty stiff as Joe got a swollen black eye from it. **½

12. Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch retained the Universal and Raw women’s titles over Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans in 19:54 in an Extreme rules match. Lynch pounded on Evans with a kendo stick early. Tons of kendo stick shots. Rollins did two topes on Corbin and Lynch did a forearm off the apron. Rollins went for another tope but Corbin hit him with a chair. Corbin beat him down. Lynch tagged in and gave Evans an exploder on a chair. Lynch did a leg drop off the middle rope onto the chair on Evans for a near fall. Lynch did a missile dropkick into a chair into Corbin. Evans got a near fall on Lynch with a moonsault. Evans and Corbin used the kendo sticks some more on Rollins. Really, the match was dragging pretty bad much of the way and it wasn’t too heated, but the finish was great. Lynch used an ass drop off the middle rope putting Evans though a table. Rollins used a plancha putting Corbin through another table. Corbin came back with a power bomb and deep six on Rollins or and Lynch saved. Corbin then gave Lynch the end of days. Lynch was laid out but Rollins went nuts, destroying Corbin with kendo sticks shots and chair shots until pinning after three curb stomps. ***1/4

13. Brock Lesnar pinned Seth Rollins to win the Universal title in :16. Lesnar came out right after the previous match finished. Rollins went after him, but Lesnar got behind him and gave him two German suplexes. Heyman then cashed in the briefcase. As soon as the bell rang, Lesnar picked Rollins up and gave him an F-5 for the pin to take the title.


SPOILER: show
Quote:
Nakamura vs Balor ** 3/4

They worked well together and did a fine job for opening the PPV and having a title change in 7 minutes. This should have been a bigger deal than it was, should've been on a main event of Smackdown!.

Gulak vs Neese ***

Solid work from both guys. Gulak seems to be making a spot for him in WWE and Neese isn't too far behind him. Neese looks amazing, why isn't he a big deal... stupid.

Graveyard Dogs vs Shane & Drew ****

Yeah I got high for this one. This had the legend of the Undertaker involved and in a big surprise, he was in the best shape and condition we've seen since the Hell in a Cell with Triple H. His work was solid aside from a minor stumble with the tombstone on Shane but you can just as well put that on Shane. I enjoyed Roman, they shouldn't have cut off Taker's music at the end for Roman's though. I am pretty sure we are going to see Drew and Taker, and I could imagine it being pretty good. Drew is physically strong enough to man handle Taker and I think that would keep the match together. I really enjoyed this.

Revival vs The Uso's ***

Kind of felt like a basic Uso's/Revival match which isn't that bad of a thing actually.

Alister Black vs Cesaro *** 3/4

Awesome match. Looking at the results it was about 10 minutes long, it felt longer than it was, in a good way. What a perfect finish.

Bailey vs Cross & Bliss **

I thought this was stupid but all three of them did good work.

Lashley vs Stroman **

Yeah you're not going to get me with crowd brawling and bullshit concession spots. The gimmick bump was fucking stupid. Yeah Braun can break through thin wood, cool. Fuck off. Lashley sucks.

Smackdown Three Way *** 1/2

This match rode the line of above average to really good and could have gone further with more time but fuck at this point we don't want more time we've seen too much already.

AJ vs Ricochet ***

Ricochet sucks with short hair.


Owens vs Ziggler **

Because it was short.

Kofi vs Joe ***

Odd match.... they are really underwhelming with Kofi but he himself is fucking gold. Good work, quick ending which is cool.

Winner Takes All Tag Match *** 1/2

Some really good stuff and some down spots that really did bring everything down a bit. I loved Lacey Evans, Becky was great... Seth and Baron were just kind of there until the end. Seth beating down Baron for hitting Becky was great. I just wish that he'd have hit him is the fucking head with the kendo stick not the arm, what the fuck... and yeah I don't give a shit about this no chair shots to the head. If I was gonna hit someone with a chair I'm going to aim for the head, not the back like some overly concerned pussy. Don't like that? Then stop using chairs and think of something else. I'm so sick of WWE always running from what they are, wrestling.


Thus proving that Dirty Dave in his older age tends to add a few flakes for gimmicks spots, flip flops and dooty wigs.
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