WWE SmackDOWN! Captions [12-11-2003]

[Corkscrewed]

"I want YOU to join... The Hoss Force!"


For Lesnar, quality opponents like Rey Mysterio were in short stature. You might say that the chance that Brock gets a good opponent like Rey is little. In fact, I think that the frequency of such great matches is small. Okay, I'll stop now.


Rhyno immediately gave up and surendered when the police caught him sneaking onto SmackDOWN!


Rhyno wasn't sure what had happened. All he remembered was sharing drinks with Bradshaw, then a fuzzy bedroom, and then there he was...


Heyman had always wanted to kiss a yeti.


It's sad when a WWE wrestler like Orlando Jones has to resort to being a male giggalo to make ends meet.


The TV censors were too slow to block the nudity when the chick's tube top slipped down.


A-Train had always wanted to bang one of the Hansen girls missionary style.
Ref: "Um... they're not girls..."


Moore gave up. There was no way he could wrestle with the ref doing the Spiderman Dance.


Big Show was damned if he was going to let those evil aliens take A-Train!

OR

While Big Show was chokeslamming A-Train, Matt Morgan unveiled his Karate Kid gimmick.


Stuck in the middle of his Black Elvis gimmick, Ernest Miller was really starting to regret coming back to the WWE.


The Cat was less than impressed with Sable's Celine Dion impression.


The Eddie/Chavo feud began when Chavo informed Eddie that he was tired of pointing to his knees.


With Chavo spurring him on, Eddie was super focused and intent on winning the first-ever "Winner Gets a Chocolate Cookie" Match.


Charlie: "Nice of you to drop in."
Chavo: "That was SOOO lame."


Chavo never thought they'd find out he hid the cookies in his boots. Boy was he wrong!


It was a mark-out moment when Eddie sprouted wings and became... ANGEL EDDIE!!!


Along with his angel powers came the power of telekinesis. Unfortunately for Chavo, Eddie had yet to learn how to control it, as shown by his force blast to his nephew.


The battle was long and hard-fought, but eventually, Eddie, with the help of his new-found angel powers, won the Giant Oreo.


Eminem certainly has let himself go.


I dunno about you, but this is a better anti-drug image than anything TRUTH can ever come up with.


With Nathan Jones gone from the WWE, it was up to Big Show to take over the role of balance-impaired big man.


Cena might not have been able to match up to Big Show in terms of sheer height, but with his invisible giant friend, George, by his side, Cena was unstoppable!


Big Show found out the hard way why you shouldn't mix refried beans with lard, liver, and oranges for lunch.


Lesnar may have beaten up handicapped men, bloodied legends, and rendered opponents unconscious, but he wasn't a REAL heel until he stole someone's shoes.


Brock Lesnar: King of the Ring, Royal Rumble winner, 3 time WWE Champion, and Professional Line Dancer.


Ref: "Brock, seriously, now. I know he called you a doo-doo head, but did you REALLY have to kick his head off???"


Brock: .................................................... "UH, OH!"
(five cookies to whoever gets the reference)


As per Brian Hebner's orders, Brock pulled Mysterio up for more punishment. That would teach him from calling referees doo-doo heads!


Brock: .................................................... "UH, OH!"

OR

Lesnar was left blinded and in pain after being shown the Paris Hilton/Stephanie McMahon video.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed "I want YOU to join... The Hoss Force!" For Lesnar, quality opponents like Rey Mysterio were in short stature. You might say that the chance that Brock gets a good opponent like Rey is little. In fact, I think that the frequency of such great matches is small. Okay, I'll stop now. Rhyno immediately gave up and surendered when the police caught him sneaking onto SmackDOWN! Rhyno wasn't sure what had happened. All he remembered was sharing drinks with Bradshaw, then a fuzzy bedroom, and then there he was... Heyman had always wanted to kiss a yeti. It's sad when a WWE wrestler like Orlando Jones has to resort to being a male giggalo to make ends meet. The TV censors were too slow to block the nudity when the chick's tube top slipped down. A-Train had always wanted to bang one of the Hansen girls missionary style. Ref: "Um... they're not girls..." Moore gave up. There was no way he could wrestle with the ref doing the Spiderman Dance. Big Show was damned if he was going to let those evil aliens take A-Train! OR While Big Show was chokeslamming A-Train, Matt Morgan unveiled his Karate Kid gimmick. Stuck in the middle of his Black Elvis gimmick, Ernest Miller was really starting to regret coming back to the WWE. The Cat was less than impressed with Sable's Celine Dion impression. The Eddie/Chavo feud began when Chavo informed Eddie that he was tired of pointing to his knees. With Chavo spurring him on, Eddie was super focused and intent on winning the first-ever "Winner Gets a Chocolate Cookie" Match. Charlie: "Nice of you to drop in." Chavo: "That was SOOO lame." Chavo never thought they'd find out he hid the cookies in his boots. Boy was he wrong! It was a mark-out moment when Eddie sprouted wings and became... ANGEL EDDIE!!! Along with his angel powers came the power of telekinesis. Unfortunately for Chavo, Eddie had yet to learn how to control it, as shown by his force blast to his nephew. The battle was long and hard-fought, but eventually, Eddie, with the help of his new angle powers, won the Giant Oreo. Eminem certainly has lost it. I dunno about you, but this is a better anti-drug image than anything TRUTH can ever come up with. With Nathan Jones gone from the WWE, it was up to Big Show to take over the role of balance-impaired big man. Cena might not have been able to match up to Big Show in terms of sheer height, but with his invisible giant friend, George, by his side, Cena would be unstoppable! Big Show found out the hard way why you shouldn't mix refried beans with lard, liver, and oranges for lunch. Lesnar may have beaten up handicapped men, bloodied legends, and rendered opponents unconscious, but he wasn't a REAL heel until he stole someone's shoes. Brock Lesnar: King of the Ring, Royal Rumble winner, 3 time WWE Champion, and Professional Line Dancer. Ref: "Brock, seriously, now. I know he called you a doo-doo head, but did you REALLY have to kick his head off???" Brock: .................................................... "UH, OH!" (five cookies to whoever gets the reference) As per Brian Hebner's orders, Brock pulled Mysterio up for more punishment. That would teach him from calling referees doo-doo heads! Brock: .................................................... "UH, OH!" OR Lesnar was left blinded and in pain after being shown the Paris Hilton/Stephanie McMahon video.

[QUOTE=Corkscrewed

Cena might not have been able to match up to Big Show in terms of sheer height, but with his invisible giant friend, George, by his side, Cena was unstoppable!


Big Show found out the hard way why you shouldn't mix refried beans with lard, liver, and oranges for lunch.QUOTE]

Nice ones Cork. I'll do mine tommorrow, I can't think right now.


AND "CAPTION CREW" SUCKS

[Corkscrewed]

The Caption crew come down the ring. Cork grabs the mic and clears his throat.

Cork: Last Monday, we showed the world why we are a FORCE! With the help of our NEWEST MEMBER *points at Nowhere Man* we annihilated that pathetic STUPID NOOB faction! But we've heard some people talking shit about us. Loose Cannon! I'm calling you out!!!

Loose Cannon's music hits. He comes out and does his pose as his nice pyros hit, then walks to the ring, definitely not intimidated. Cannon grabs a mic.

Loose Cannon: Corky, or should I say, Croky. I'm not afraid of you! You're nothing but a dirty toe rag. And Nowhere Man? You can't even walk straight. You got less stability than NATHAN JONES.

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Loose Cannon: And Loopydate? You're nothing but a clown. I'll kick your ass faster than you can say "Gimme a jaw, Shaniqua!"

Loose Cannon clotheslines Loopy and gives Cork a low blow. Nowhere Man tries to execute a drop kick but fall flat on his ass. The comedic distraction is enough for Loopydate to give Cannon a spear, though, sending him down. Cork then gets up, no-sells the low blow effects, and gives Cannon an Osaka Stunner. Nowhere Man then hits the 720 corkscrew splash, and the Caption Crew leaves Loose Cannon lying in a pool of his own... sweat.

[moshingfreak]

Lesnar: Paul Heyman has told me to inform you, that, because of a lack of ratings, he has brought in the "Secret Word". Whoever says the word tonight will get a push. Tonights word is "WOOKIE"


Lesnar: Im sorry kid, your too small to be on the Lesnar list of jobbers


Rhyno: Heyman! is it in my right hand or my left hand?


Big Show's odour was enough to knock a big texan like bradshaw out cold


Heyman (singing): Wookie, wookie, A-Train is a Wookie


Orlando: I'll bet you 20 bucks that Big Show will say a lame as rap tonight.


He saw A-Train was angry, but was it because he thought it said "Wookie" on his Titan tron


Ref: Hey Train! WOOKIE!!
Train: ARGH


Now, Train was getting paranoid. He thought the sign said "WOOKIE" when all it said was "I like shannons rack"


Train at WWE logo: WHY ARE YOU GUYS TORTURING ME??


Cat: hey bozo, shannons a boy!


his "Ernest the hunchback of notredame Miller" gimmick was a great success withn the ladies.


Chavo: Wookie
Eddie: Huh?


Chavo couldnt take his eyes off Eddies huge mole


Eddie: Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as...


Charlie: Hey, arent these my pants?


Eddies mole caught the eye of Haas, too


Chavo knew this was no time for a high five


Eddie: Hey Show, you wanna steel my US title, then i'll steal your buttons.


Show: Check me out, im a big nasty white rock rapper


Shows Rap: On smackdown things here are lame
Heymans making things look like a game
First he called the A-Train a wookie
then that punk Corkscrewed said Eddie found a cookie


Show: Wurrrrrrrrd to ya muthaaaarrrr


Crowd: WOOKIE!!


Fernando the Midget was too quick for the big man


Lesnar: GIMME MY SHOE BACK!!


Mysterio congratulated brock far enough so he couldnt smell his minesota breath


Ref: cmon brock, i am big enough to go drinking with u


Rey was finishing off lesnar with his new submission, the reverse nipple tweek


Brocks new pet Mysterio just wasnt learning how to walk properly


The rwef startedn trying to put brock off his game by throwing doggie treats in his mouth

[Tornado]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Brock: .................................................... "UH, OH!" (five cookies to whoever gets the reference)

Peter Griffin, soiling himself...
Family Guy..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Can I have my cookies now...?

[Corkscrewed]

Beautiful! (It's cuz I just watched that episode Tuesday night )

*tosses Tornado some Oreos and some Animal Crackers*

[King Jericho]

John Cena had to change his gimmick when you could actually 'see him' standing in the crowd behind Lesnar


Both men closed their eyes and braced themselves when Rey slowly pulled out a piece of mistletoe


Rhyno was holding up an invisible belt in hope of giving the writing team some 'ideas'


Things ended badly when Bradshaws tape round his arms was to tight and cut off circulation to his brain making him collapse.


Heyman: "Do I have something in my teeth?"


Both Orlando Jones and Billy Kidman looked puzzled when the three breasted lady from Total Recall turned up.


Both the fans and Shannon Moore got that strange feeling of Dejavu


The ref tried to hit A-Train's hand away from Shannon's 'special area'


Big Show had to run in from the back and do the job on A-Train because Matt Morgan was busy doing his Indian rain dance


Miller stopped briefly and thought were infact was this gimmick going


Sables bottom lip was violently sucked back into her face as her plastic surgery strangly started to wear off


Chavo: 'What do you mean i'm not Mexican?'


Eddie began praying when Charlie Haas prepared to throw Chavo into his lowriders engine


Haas was worried when he noticed that chavo's leg wasn't surpossed to bend that way


The ref had secretly teamed up with Chavo as he distracted Eddie by giving him a wedgie


Eddie took a quick leek mid match


Big Shows mum had kindly sown the colour of socks he had to wear to the ring on his top, so he would forget


"Look at these two marose mother fuckers right here, smells like someone shit in there cereal....BUNG!"
*cookie for the film ref*


Big Show tied his bandana so tight that he collapsed backwards landing on a still un-concious Bradshaw


In a stange term of events Cena 'went disco' and did a dance from boogie nights


both men played hot potatoe in the middle of the ring
'1 potatoe, 2 potatoe, 3 potatoe 4....'


The ref turned heel and started tell brock what move to do next
'Pick him up like this and just fuck him down on his head'........


......Brock did what he was told


Brock took his pet 'Rey Rey' for a walk


'I feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty and witty and GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY'
*cookie for the film ref*

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by King Jericho "Look at these two marose mother fuckers right here, smells like someone shit in there cereal....BUNG!" *cookie for the film ref*

"Chasing Amy," I think. I know it's a Jay line, but not sure on the flick.

Originally Posted by King Jericho 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty and witty and GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY' *cookie for the film ref*

"West Side Story."

[AareDub]

Story Time With Ketchupisyourfriend presents:

The Little Boy Who Lost His Luchador

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was the happiest boy in the world. Christmas had just passed and Mr. McMahon gave him his very own luchador to play with. But one day the boy became very sad, he seemed to have misplaced his little buddy.


He went around to all the arenas in town asking "Have you seen my luchador?"


Finally he was pleased, at one of the arenas he stumbled across his little luchador. However, this wasn't a happy occasion for very long. It seems his buddy didn't want to go back with him. In fact, he ran away on purpose in the first place.


Our young boy was not happy about this at all. Enraged, he picked the luchador up by his feet and proclaimed that he was going home if he liked it or not.


But the luchador was too quick and was back on his feet in no time. As he began to run away again, the boy grabbed his arm and they began pulling in opposite directions. The luchador was trying desperately with all his might to get his hand free from his opressor.


Suddenly the luchador collapses and the little boy rushed over to him. What had he done? The luchador was struggling so hard to get away he seems to have collapsed from exhaustion.


As the boy realized what just happened he began to cry and picked up his little luchador friend. He began to rock him back and forth while muttering "Snap out of it! Snap out of it!"


In strong denial of the luchador's death, the boy tries to lead him home. He doesn't get too far before he breaks down...


"WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!"

So the moral of this story is.... ummmm... wrestlers don't make good house pets or something!


Ok if that was stupid then it's probably the flu talking. Bleh!

Heyman, "Simon says touch your neck."
Albert, "Very funny Paul."
Heyman, "AWW, Where's your neck Train"




Dawn (to Orlando), "Please give that to Mr. Dibiase for me. OK Virgil"
Orlando, "Um, I'm Orlando Jon....Oh Yeah sure thing."
Kidman, "Look guys I'm a Four Horseman"



Eddie and Chavo go for the super Hi-Five from the top ropes and the ref takes this oppurtunity to do some pick pocketing.


Show, "Can you say new World Series Champs next year."


Fan, "The Black Sox aren't even in the M.L.B. jackass.
Show, "I knew that"




Big Show tried to be slick and go through the ropes instead of over the ropes when leaving the ring.....but things didn't work out so well.


Brock just remembered he forgot to pay his taxes.


Brock, after yrs of trying, finally captured the rare species known only as a Mysterio.



Brock, "Why is he not moving."
Ref, "I think you killed him Brock."


Brock, "NOOOOOO. WHY ME WHY ME. I didn't mean to hurt him
Ref "Come on Brock, he's going to a better place, keep your head up. We're going to get through this."
Brock, "You can't take him....Not now, Not today, Not Ever." :cry:

[King Jericho]

Originally Posted by loopydate "Chasing Amy," I think. I know it's a Jay line, but not sure on the flick. "West Side Story."

First one is kinda right, its from Jay and Silent Bob strike back spoken by Ben Affleck, the second is from west side story and anger management

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed The Caption crew come down the ring. Cork grabs the mic and clears his throat. Cork: Last Monday, we showed the world why we are a FORCE! With the help of our NEWEST MEMBER *points at Nowhere Man* we annihilated that pathetic STUPID NOOB faction! But we've heard some people talking shit about us. Loose Cannon! I'm calling you out!!! Loose Cannon's music hits. He comes out and does his pose as his nice pyros hit, then walks to the ring, definitely not intimidated. Cannon grabs a mic. Loose Cannon: Corky, or should I say, Croky. I'm not afraid of you! You're nothing but a dirty toe rag. And Nowhere Man? You can't even walk straight. You got less stability than NATHAN JONES. Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Loose Cannon: And Loopydate? You're nothing but a clown. I'll kick your ass faster than you can say "Gimme a jaw, Shaniqua!" Loose Cannon clotheslines Loopy and gives Cork a low blow. Nowhere Man tries to execute a drop kick but fall flat on his ass. The comedic distraction is enough for Loopydate to give Cannon a spear, though, sending him down. Cork then gets up, no-sells the low blow effects, and gives Cannon an Osaka Stunner. Nowhere Man then hits the 720 corkscrew splash, and the Caption Crew leaves Loose Cannon lying in a pool of his own... sweat.

Loose Cannon gets to his feet after putting up a gutsy effort against the ruthless "Caption Crew." He doesn't know what to do know but is suddenly surprised as the crowd is chanting his name. Cannon can't believe it. Cannon grabs the mic:

'Caption Crew' this isn't by far from being over. I may not have anyone on my side and the odds may not be in my favor, but I won't stop until the 'Caption Crew' is eliminated. You want a war....Well you got one. And 'Stupid NOOB', you better not get in my way eathier or I'm taking you all out as well. Just remember one thing...... I'm All There is.

So to Corky, Loopy, and Nowhere "Stop calling me Dude_Love716" Man,

Caption This:

[Tornado]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Beautiful! (It's cuz I just watched that episode Tuesday night ) *tosses Tornado some Oreos and some Animal Crackers*

*twists Oreo apart. Smacks self round face with it*


Another cookie for the reference...

[Blue Demon]

Cena and Show decided to hace an imitation contest...Cena won when he chose the Statue of Liberty

[tuk420]

Brock just learned how much money he was losing by not switching to Geico.


What do you mean the brothers like fat, white, GIRLS?


ATrain: It is so soothing when you blow on my face.
Paul: You have no idea.


Eddie just realized that Chavo doesn't speak a word of Spanish.


As Big Show chokeslams ATrain, his belly attempts to make its escape. Not so fast!


Brock: Get back down there, you're not done yet.
Rey: Aw, Man.

[loopydate]

FADE IN

INT. ARENA

Tazz and Michael Cole at the announce table. They don't realize the camera is on.

TAZZ: And then I said, "Yeah, Steph. It was Sean O'Haire who kept calling your Honeymoon Suite!"

He busts up laughing, and Cole joins in, until he notices the camera.

COLE: Oh, shit. Um...Josh?

CUT TO

INT. BACKSTAGE

Josh Mathews stands outside of a locker room with the Caption Crew logo on the door.

JOSH: Michael, I'm here outside the Caption Crew locker room.

TAZZ: No shit...

COLE: Tazz!

JOSH: After the brutal attack on Loose Cannon by the Crew, and Cannon's subsequent challenge to loopydate, Nowhere Man, and their apparent leader, Corkscrewed, what must the Crew be thinking? I'm hoping to catch loopydate before he hits the ring for tonight's round of captions.

The door opens. Loopydate exits the locker room, chuckling about something.

JOSH: Loopydate, could I talk to you for a minute?

LOOPY: Josh, I have captions to take care of, and I think people are getting tired of this part of the story. I mean, sure, the Sean O'Haire thing was funny, but...

JOSH: What?

LOOPY: Never mind. What's on your mind, Josh?

JOSH: I just wanted to know the Crew's reaction to Loose Cannon's challenge.

LOOPY: You know what? I didn't join the Crew to pick fights with Loose Cannon. I'm here because I like what Cork and NM represent. If Cannon wants to start throwing around insults like...um...

JOSH: Baseballs?

LOOPY: Shut up. Yeah, he'll get his, but I really hope the STUPID NOOBs are watching.

JOSH: Why's that?

LOOPY: Oh, you'll see...

He leaves to go do captions.



BROCK: Okay, cameraman. We all thought it was funny when you wore the "Baby Brock" t-shirt to the run-down meeting, but it's not funny anymore. Take it off.




(Adding to Cork's caption from earlier: Rey certainly looks up to Brock.)

Brock could only chuckle. Putting a Rey Mysterio mask on the Big Show, then leading him to the quicksand pit was the best prank EVER!



RHYNO: Udnudnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
COLE: What the hell is he doing, Tazz?
TAZZ: He's riding his imaginary motorcycle, Cole!
RHYNO: Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt! Pksh!
TAZZ: Oh, no! He crashed!



Worst. Clothesline From Hell. Ever.



IDIOT CROWD: CKN! CKN! CKN!



Orlando knew he could make money by selling copies of his new book How I Killed the McMahon Family but he didn't expect THIS kind of demand!



This was the last time WWE allowed cows to run the TitanTron.



The Bradshaw tragedy from a few weeks ago still on his mind, A-Train still managed to botch the Giant Swing, adding Shannon Moore to his list of victims.



REF: One...singular sensation...



Nathan Jones was such a dick. Can you believe he hotfooted Matt Morgan before he left?



CAT (reading): Somebody better call my mama...this angle sucks?"



The Cat always got a kick out of Sable's Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel impression.

SABLE: Hey, looka that pointy-hairded little girl!



It all started as a harmless Thumb War until Chavo accidentally worked Eddie's thumb too stiff...



EDDIE: Chavito, "riding someone's coattails" is an expression. You don't have to really do it, ese.



After the face-first gorilla press slam and vertical splash, Charlie Haas revealed himself to be...Ultimate Warrior V2.0!



HAAS/WARRIOR: I must partake of your pedal coverings to maintain the necessary ration of destrucity, Little Warrior.
CHAVO:



HAAS/WARRIOR: Come back, Hogan! We're not finished yet!
EDDIE:



EDDIE: I'll catch you, ese!
CHAVO: With one hand?



Eddie found the giant chocolate donut, which belonged to...



...and he wasn't happy.



Big Show winced. Sure, he may be wearing black sox, but his tights were about to be a totally different color.



SHOW: What does Big Slow mean? I don't get it!



Cena grew tired of making up his own raps, so he let the crowd do it. Over the unintelligible din, the only line that was understandable was "Big Show's a big dumb loser."



SHOW: Hey, no fair! How come Brock gets a microphone and the other fans don't?



BROCK: I...want...your...Christmas tights!



The referee was nervous, but he was ready. He'd show 'em. Referees can limbo just as well as anyone!



BROCK: Mister Ref? Rey's head got in my mouth and I ate it, can I have another one?
REF: No, Brock. Just sit quietly and sleep.
BROCK: Oh, boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!



That bastard Benoit! The doctors never were able to get Brock's jaw hinged just right.



Brock wondered if Shaniqua needed a left arm, too...



BROCK: Fa ha meh mah!
(Translation: ****ing Benoit!)

[Nowhere Man]

Hey, Loopy, if we're going to work together as a faction, you've got to stop out-doing me! You're making me look bad, man!

Anyways, I highly doubt I can live up to those. I'll probably come back tomorrow or something like I usually do.

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by Nowhere Man Hey, Loopy, if we're going to work together as a faction, you've got to stop out-doing me! You're making me look bad, man! Anyways, I highly doubt I can live up to those. I'll probably come back tomorrow or something like I usually do.

Every week you say that, then every week you kick my ass. We need to work out some sort of tag-team captioning style, though...

Can't wait to see your captions.

[Corkscrewed]

Loopy, rumors say that further down the line, I'm going to drop the ball and you're gonna take over as leader of New Caption Crew. You and Nowhere Man, accompanied by... oh lets just say M-A-G, will beat me down and proceed to feud with me.

Or something. Those were awesome!

BROCK: Mister Ref? Rey's head got in my mouth and I ate it, can I have another one? REF: No, Brock. Just sit quietly and sleep. BROCK: Oh, boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

Ralph rules!

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Loopy, rumors say that further down the line, I'm going to drop the ball and you're gonna take over as leader of New Caption Crew. You and Nowhere Man, accompanied by... oh lets just say M-A-G, will beat me down and proceed to feud with me. Or something. Those were awesome! Ralph rules!

Crap! I should have put "spoiler" in my thread... Oh, now Dave and JJ are gonna break my thumbs. Or give me a bad rep. Whichever. Meh.

[Vastardikai]

I be a Stupid Noob, so if this sucks, I'm sorry.



And if you Vote for me, I'll give YOU, the American People, a free pass to take turns squashing Triple H!




Mysterio: Grandma, what big eyes you have!

Lesnar: What?



Rhyno would sometimes fantasize about being on the American Gladiators. He was a big fan of Hanging Tough.



The Center of the ring is No time for NAP TIME!



Heyman: and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Will always Love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!



Orlando:Ok, I Dipped my head in a fire ant mound while wearing a tutu and singing "Oh Come all Ye Faithful". *under his breath* I thought the Jackass gimmick died already... Next!



Shannon couldn't get it through Heyman's skull that one shouldn't wrestle while pregnant.



Albert: I've never been with a Pregnant girl before...

Ref: STOP, ALBERT! McMahon doesn't want us to do that angle til NEXT WEEK!



Shannon: He just kicked!

Albert: No I Didn't, I was about to, but...

Ref: He meant the baby, you failure of evolution!

Sadly, Triple H got wind of this and The referee was never seen nor heard from again...



Show laid out the gauntlet: Either get chokeslammed or show Morgan how to "Walk Like an Egyptian." Albert chose the former, and I don't blame him.



Cat: Somebody call my Momma, this jacket SUCKS!



The Cat is now stuck in a terrible Dillema: which is worse, the jacket or the look on Sable's face? He looks to the WWE logo for inspiration, but it's only telling Steph is fat jokes.

Sadly, Triple H caught wind of this and the Cat was never seen or heard from again...



Chavo: Does this bandanna make me look fat?

Eddie never looked at his nephew the same again...



Chavo: Well, did it?



Haas: You're getting heavy, Chavo. You puttin on weight?

Chavo: Charlie, you're talking out loud...

Haas: ooops.



Haas: Now, if I soften his legs up enough, his fat ass won't be able to catch me when I run away!

Chavo:

Referee: Chavo, it's ok, he doesn't know he's talking out loud!

Chavo: But his words still hurt!



Haas: Eddie, whatever you do, don't say anything about Chavo getting fat, alright?

Chavo: DAMMIT, CHARLIE!



Chavo: Eddie this is your last warning, am I getting fat? Tell me now or I'll sit on you.

Ref: Save me, Eddie!

Eddie: don't worry, Mr. Referee, I saw Neo do this once on the Matrix!



Eddie decides after this latest scare that hiding that donut is probably a good Idea.



Hearing about a Rapping for food contest, Big Show shows off his street cred.



Show: My skin is white but my neck is red, I put miracle whip on my wonder bread! (yes, I quoted Scary Movie 3...)



Little did Show Realize, this picture was gonna be used for his new T-shirt.



Cena: Tell 'em, Ghost of Hawk!



The Big Show was left devastated when the Ghost of Hawk broke out the most eviscerating freestyle ever to come from Heaven.



Rey's new Capoera superstar gimmick failed to impress Lesnar.



Nor did his Tug of War Champion gimmick



Referee: ...and they were THIS BIG!

Lesnar: That's nice.

Rey: The lies, they're killing me!



Lesnar: Damn You're Heavy!

It is then when Lesnar discovered that Misterio was actually Chavo in disguise.



Lesnar: Rey heard enough, it's time to go home...

Referee: But he didn't get to hear the rest of my story!



The ref, outraged, got in between the two men and turned himself into a pile of burning coals.

Eh, it's something...

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by Dark_Kane I think it's funny and pathetic at the same time how users whine and complain at others captions. Ironically, Corkscrewed's captions aren't not as good as others either. If captions is that bad for you, just ignore it and do your own. We post them because we have fun doing them whether they are bad or not.

Who whined and complained?

[Vastardikai]

Understand that I wasn't bitching. The above were just my first batch of them so I was giving a disclaimer that, in the event that they sucked, to just shake it off and move along. No discontent was meant to appear.

[Elements]

Did anyone else notice at the end of the betting segment someone shouts "What are the odds on Shaniqua having a dingaling?" It is very faint, but you can hear it just before Matt Morgan walks in

[Nowhere Man]

Brock pulled a fast one on Steven Richards by giving him the old "There's something stuck on your invisible shirt" trick.



Lesnar froze in terror, aghast at the horrible little green man that stared him down. Moments later, he ran screaming into the crowd, until security caught him and informed him that it was indeed a luchadore, not a Martian.



As Scott Hall was King of the Ladder Match, and Mick Foley was King of the Death Match, so was Rhyno the King of the Guess-what-hand-I'm-hiding-the-quarter-in Match.




Vince knew that allowing the wrestlers to form a union was a bad idea. The mid-match naps were killing the pace of the show!



Heyman: You mean to tell me that I spent all that money on the cross-promotion Smackdown/Star Wars feud, and now you tell me you're NOT the real Chewbacca?!?!



The First Annual People Who Have Jobbed to A-Train Convention was a smash hit.



Nope, I can't beat the cow thing. Seriously, that was awesome.



Sadly, Shannon Moore couldn't make it to the Convention, due to a prior engagement. That engagement? Ironically enough....



Shannon "Nipple-Biter" Moore finally finds a way to counter A-Train's powerful attacks.



Matt Morgan did his best to distract the crowd from the boredom of the oncoming Show/Train feud by doing the Thriller dance

....poorly.



The Honky Tonk Man looks a little different, but I can't quite put my finger on it....



The Cat hated it when Ms. Mero would try to "bargain" out of being taken back to the WWE Nursing Home.



Eddie was displeased with Chavo's rendition of the Andy Griffith Show theme song.



Chavo: Eddie! Eddie!!! That's not the right way to do a staring conest, you cheater!
Eddie: Hey, I haven't blinked yet, have I?
Chavo: How am I supposed to know?!



Things looked bleak for Los Guerreros until Low-Ryder the Wrestling Truck ran in for the save.



While Haas worked on Chavo's leg, Shelton decided to pop the crowd by doing his sexy "Showgirls" pose.



Eddie distracted Haas while the referee clobbered the hell out of Shelton on the other side.



Strapping Roman candles on the referee's back was a fun idea to make the show more spectacular, but it was REALLY scary for the guys who were standing on the top rope.



Eddie: Hey, Chavo! Check out the number I did on Haas and Benjamin's car!
Chavo: Ummm, Uncle Eddie? That's our car. I think Shelton must've dropped you on your head in there.
Eddie:.......................MERDE!
Chavo: And stop ripping off other people's captions!



Big Show, realizing he probably wouldn't get the main WWE Title in a long time, decides to try and sneak himself into the Cruiserweight Division. Needless to say, his Konnan disguise didn't fool anyone.

(on a side note, where in the hell did they find a shirt THAT big?!)



"....and then he said, 'Hey, Show, I think it'd be really funny if you came out dressed like John Cena for your promo.' And I told him, 'look, buddy, the Big Show does not do comedy, allright? If you want someone to make an ass out of himself for some lame segment, look somewhere else.' I mean, that'd just be stupid. So then Vince snaps his fingers, I kind of black out for a few seconds, and..........

..........shit."



Show models the newer, more stylish straight-jackets, "for the crazy person who's just crazy about fashion!"



Cena waited patiently until his arm spasm was over, so he could put the mic back up to his mouth and finish the promo.



The microphone makes a surprise face turn and violently attacks the Big Show to end the segment.



Brock finally put a stop to Rey Mysterio's break-dancing routine in mid-move.



No Holds Barred Thumb Wrestling wasn't quite as intense as the bookers were hoping.



Despite the ref's insistence, Brock was in no mood for a great big hug.



Brock heard a faint ticking sound, and then it hit him: It wasn't Rey Mysterio he was holding in his arms! It was A BOMB!!!



Brock Lesnar, M.D., checks the victim's pulse before making a diagnosis.

Doc Brock: He's still got a pulse, but he's not moving! He must be suffering from TWCJ (Talented Wrestler Constantly Jobbing) Get this man 20 cc's of Push, STAT!



Rey escapes the painful submission hold by telling Brock Lesnar his father died. All those lessons from the Big Boss Man had finally paid off!

----

Meh, I've done better.

[Nowhere Man]

I hate that! I finally come up with a round of captions and no one reads 'em.

[McFly]

Brock: You know...people used to call me Brockli because I was so green...



Rey really looked up to Brock.



Rhyno let the crowd know how many matches he'd won in the past year.




Bradshaw and Rhyno spooned in attempts to keep their *heat* going. It failed misserably.


A-Train: For the last time Paul, there's nothing in your teeth.


Girl: OH MY GOD! It's ORLANDO JONES!... who is this guy?
Kidman: I'm one of the best talents on SMACKDOWN!
Girl: Who?
Kidman: I had sex with Torrie Wilson!!!!
Girl: OMG! Will you sign my chest Mr. McMahon
Kidman: *Sigh*



Thanks to the TPWW boards, Vince enforced Moore to use "Mmmm Bop" as his new entrance theme. He just decided to go along with it.



Ref: What are you doing?
A-Train: Helping this lady deliver a baby!


A-Train really wanted Moore to go down into his Amazonian jungle. Moore began freaking out when A-Train suggested he bring a machetti.



Big Show attacked A-Train after giving him that shirt that was apparently one size too small.



The Cat stop suddenly when he realized he was using the wrong Andy Kaufman impersination.



Sable: I'll wrestle you Mr. Kauf...I mean Cat.
The Cat: Shut up you dumb bitch. I already screwed it up, I don't need your help.



Chavo: You sure this head band doesn't make me look like a "dick?"
Eddie: You don't need the head band to look like one.



Chavo: But Uncle Eddy! I gotta gooooo!
Eddie: I told you to go BEFORE we went to the ring.



Chavo: No Haas, I'm supposed to carry YOU.



Chavo: No! My feet are *HA* ticklish! Ha ha oh stop that you bitch.



Eddie tryed adding to his stereotypical Latino roll by stealing Haas' heat. Then he realized there was nothing to steal.



Ref: You Catch him!
Eddy: NO! YOU Catch him!
Ref: No! YOU!....



Announcer: Eddy! You just stole a WIN AND A CAR! What are you going to do now?
Eddy: I'm going to Tijauana!



The only way to make this segement better would've been to have Big Show come out to his Aggression music.



At this point, the ring was filled with B.S.



Big Show: This here is turd life cause I'm da shit. (Moans fromt he crowd)



Cena: That's right Show, look at da pretty microphone. Look! Look! LOOK! (low blow)



Big Show: You just hate me cause I'm black!



Question: Who has who?



Brock: You HAD to fall for Eddie's finger trap prank JUST before the match, didn't ya?



Brock: Poor little guy. He's like a dog or something.



Brock became shocked when he saw "THE VINCE"



Brock: Just why do you think you can just lay there in the middle of our match?
Rey: I am Sancho.



Brock was caught off guard by Mysterio's Reach Around.

[McFly]

Originally Posted by loopydate "Chasing Amy," I think. I know it's a Jay line, but not sure on the flick.

NOPE - Ben Affleck from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

[loopydate]

Sorry it took me a while to read these, NM. Haven't been around the comp in a while. The following had me rolling ('cause compliments RULE)!

Originally Posted by Nowhere Man As Scott Hall was King of the Ladder Match, and Mick Foley was King of the Death Match, so was Rhyno the King of the Guess-what-hand-I'm-hiding-the-quarter-in Match. The Cat hated it when Ms. Mero would try to "bargain" out of being taken back to the WWE Nursing Home. Strapping Roman candles on the referee's back was a fun idea to make the show more spectacular, but it was REALLY scary for the guys who were standing on the top rope. Eddie: Hey, Chavo! Check out the number I did on Haas and Benjamin's car! Chavo: Ummm, Uncle Eddie? That's our car. I think Shelton must've dropped you on your head in there. Eddie:.......................MERDE! Chavo: And stop ripping off other people's captions! Big Show, realizing he probably wouldn't get the main WWE Title in a long time, decides to try and sneak himself into the Cruiserweight Division. Needless to say, his Konnan disguise didn't fool anyone. "....and then he said, 'Hey, Show, I think it'd be really funny if you came out dressed like John Cena for your promo.' And I told him, 'look, buddy, the Big Show does not do comedy, allright? If you want someone to make an ass out of himself for some lame segment, look somewhere else.' I mean, that'd just be stupid. So then Vince snaps his fingers, I kind of black out for a few seconds, and.......... ..........shit." Show models the newer, more stylish straight-jackets, "for the crazy person who's just crazy about fashion!" Brock heard a faint ticking sound, and then it hit him: It wasn't Rey Mysterio he was holding in his arms! It was A BOMB!!!

They were all good, but these were my faves.

[Nowhere Man]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon So to Corky, Loopy, and Nowhere "Stop calling me Dude_Love716" Man, Caption This:

After that accident in wood shop class, Loose Cannon could never do the Four Horsemen symbol correctly again.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by McFly Thanks to the TPWW boards, Vince enforced Moore to use "Mmmm Bop" as his new entrance theme. He just decided to go along with it.

LMAO!!!