Official TNA Slammiversary Thread: Aries (c) vs. Joe & Then some shit.

[James Steele]

Vicious brawling on the outside by the KNOCKOUTS of iMPACT WRESTLING.

[James Steele]

Gail Kim is being vicious. Robert Irvine must be filming an episode of RESTAURANT:IMPOSSIBLE

[James Steele]

Tazz just said "Exactomundo."

[James Steele]

Gail Kim trying to see how many painful submissions/lesbian sexual positions she can do in 5 minutes.

[James Steele]

Gail Kim getting huge heat right now. Tessmacher beginning a comeback.

[James Steele]

Tessmacher "Tessing Up!" and delivers a dropkick.

Exchange and now Gail Kim is taking control back.

BACK AND FORTH ACTION

Tessmacher just knocked off the ring apron and into the guardrail. Gail Kim in uberheel mode right now.

[James Steele]

Gail Kim getting cocky. Countout isn't good enough. She wants to pin Miss Tessmacher just to mock her.

Edit: Just wanted to let you know that this post was "pun intended".

[James Steele]

TESSMACHER COUNTERS AND GETS THE PINFALL!

NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!

THE ARROGANCE OF GAIL KIM HAS LED TO HER DEMISE! PRIDE COMES BEFORE THE FALL, AND MISS TESSMACHER TOOK ADVANTAGE! MY GOD! THIS IS WRESTLING!

THE HOMETOWN GIRL HAS COME TO THE GREAT STATE AND FORMER REPUBLIC OF TEXAS AND IS THE NEWWWWWWWWW TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION iMPACT WRESTLING KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION!

Serious TexAss-kissing going on right now.

Tessmacher just called her match epic and said "God Bless Texas".

I am on the verge of tears.

[James Steele]

...and TNA kills my boner by sending it to JB and his horrible fucking voice.

[James Steele]

Bully Ray being a bully. Hey Bully, Be A Star.

HEEL HEAT BY BRAGGING ABOUT NEW YORK IN TEXAS!

[James Steele]

JOSEPH PARK VS BULLY RAY

Bully Ray has been fucking amazing lately.

[James Steele]

Matt Morgan can do it all: auto insurance commercials, aid in investigations by lawyers looking for their brothers, be a huge star in India, stuttering gimmicks, blue chip gimmicks, and bite the hand that feeds him.

[James Steele]

Joesph Park is from Chicago. He has an Under Armour sponsorship deal. He has heartburn?

[James Steele]

"Yankees Suck" chant by the crowd. Good job.

[James Steele]

"Let's Go Rangers" chant now.

Wow, turned it into a dueling Yankees Suck/Let's Go Rangers chant.

Ruined it, guys.

[James Steele]

Slow build to the first strike.

[James Steele]

Abyss is doing a good job of wrestling like a lawyer looking his for his brother and ended up getting in a fight with a established wrestler despite never being in a fight in his life.

[James Steele]

"Joseph" chant going and Park lands a slap on Bully that gets a huge pop and leads to a Bully Ray LARIAT onto Park.

[James Steele]

I wonder TNA got a wrestler named "We're Dumb Pieces of Shit" if they would chant that. I bet they would.

[James Steele]

Jesus, the crowd is fucking hot for this match. I'm glad as this actually has a story behind it.

Park has Bully Ray cowering as Park holds a chair.

Park turns around for some reason and gets whacked.

Bully Ray back on the offensive WITH THE CHAIR!

BULLY RAY BLASTS JOSEPH PARK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

[Juan]

<table class="tborder" border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="1" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td class="tcat" colspan="2">Who Posted? Total Posts: 518
</td> </tr> <tr> <td class="thead" width="100%">User Name</td> <td class="thead">Posts</td> </tr> <tr> <td class="alt1"> St. Jimmy (http://tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=3948) </td> <td class="alt1">108 (http://tpww.net/forums/search.php?do=finduser&userid=3948&searchthreadid=119557)</td></tr></tbody></table>

Yikes. No thanks

[James Steele]

AGAIN WITH THE CHAIR TO THE BACK OF JOSEPH PARK!

Bully Ray now slamming him into shit outside the ring.

Heel Heat is off the charts right now.

[James Steele]

<table class="tborder" border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="1" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td class="tcat" colspan="2">Who Posted? Total Posts: 518
</td> </tr> <tr><td class="thead" width="100%">User Name</td><td class="thead">Posts</td> </tr> <tr><td class="alt1"> St. Jimmy (http://tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=3948) </td><td class="alt1">108 (http://tpww.net/forums/search.php?do=finduser&userid=3948&searchthreadid=119557)</td></tr></tbody></table>

Wait, I've done all this stupid shit and still not eclipsed St. Jimmy's amount of shitty posts?

[James Steele]

OH SHIT, JOSEPH PARK MAKING A COMEBACK! LEFTS AND RIGHTS AND LEFTS AND RIGHTS!

[James Steele]

Bully Ray just did a big boot senton. (ie. big boot and fell on his ass because his leg was too high)

[James Steele]

Bully Ray bringing in the TABLE and KENDO STICK. WTF, this isn't TNA Hardcore Justice.

"ECW" chant now. Seriously guys...stop it.

[James Steele]

PARK HAS THE KENDO STICK! HE NAILED BULLY RAY!

GOES FOR THE PIN 1..2..KICKOUT!!! INTENSE DRAMA AT SLAMMIVERSARY!

[James Steele]

Joseph Park crawling under the ring. Did WWE loan Hornswoggle to TNA too? I'd mark out.

[James Steele]

HOLY SHIT, IT'S ABYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

[James Steele]

CHOKE
SLAM
THROUGH
THE
FUCKING
TABLE
YOU
YANKEE
PIECE
OF
SHIT
MOTHER
FUCKER

[James Steele]

"TNA" chant now. Stop it. You don't see a "WWE" chant break out every time Cena overcomes the odds do you?

Joseph Park pins Bully Ray after the chokeslam through the table by Abyss.

[James Steele]

Joseph Park is now on his own personal journey to be the next great undefeated streak in wrestling. Joseph Park vs Crimson at Bound For Glory!

[James Steele]

Damn it, quit sending it back to JB. His voice is fucking horrible.

[James Steele]

Bobby Roode interview time.

Audio is messed up. I can hear the ring crew over the friggin' interview.

[James Steele]

Bobby Roode needs to hurry up and go to WWE before TNA sucks the life out of his delightfully heelish soul.

[James Steele]

Hulk Hogan is coming out...again. Oh joy. Hopefully he doesn't "soak in the adulation" for 10 fucking minutes again.

[James Steele]

I hate you, Terry Bollea. Fuck you.

[James Steele]

Hogan introduces Christian Cage!

[James Steele]

The two biggest stars in TNA right now: Christian Cage and Hulk Hogan.

[James Steele]

LOL

Tenay is making Tazz look like a fool. "Am I the only one shocked by this? Tenay, did you know about this?" "Yes. [Dixie put it on Twitter.]"

"Please come back" chants. Stop. Christian wants to be famous.

[James Steele]

"Yes" chant again. Seriously...stop.

[James Steele]

Christian Cage missing the ol' HEXAGON OF DEATH.

[James Steele]

Christian [Cage] kissing the fans' asses now.

[James Steele]

Christian is here to announce the #1 MOMENT IN TNA HISTORY which is...

STING RETURNING AT FINAL RESOLUTION 06

TNA's fans are fucking stupid if that was the legit #1 moment voted for by the fans.

[James Steele]

AJ/Angle vs Kaz/Daniels is up next.

[James Steele]

Vince misses you, Kurt. Please...come home. You are better than this shit.

[James Steele]

This is just good shit. I'm just going to enjoy this.

[James Steele]

Mike Tenay needs to stop with the "angle" puns.

[James Steele]

"TNA" chant again. :nono:

[James Steele]

Holy shit, Earl Hebner actually avoided a ref bump.

[James Steele]

Everyone is going all out in this match.

[James Steele]

BME by Daniels into a German Suplex by Angle and Pele by AJ and then Angle does body splash onto Kaz. 1..2...Daniels pulls Hebner out. AJ Styles does a Springboard SSP to the outside on Daniels. Angle gets ankle lock on Kaz. Holy shit, amazing 120 seconds I just witnessed. Crowd goes BONKERS as Kaz taps out and we have NEW Total Nonstop Action iMPACT WRESTLING World Tag Team Champions!

Amazing match that combined the story of AJ's anger with Daniels/Kaz with Angle's desire to just kick ass.

[bigslimjj]

I don't know what's worse... These posts or your avatar. I hope Triple H dies tomorrow. But this may be the longest TNA thread in history. Thanks brother.

[James Steele]

Tenay saying that with the two title matches resulting in new champions might bode well for a similar result in the World Title match. Rules of Wrestling #564 states that the odds of that happening when acknowledged go down drastically.

[James Steele]

I don't know what's worse... These posts or your stupid fucking avatar. I hope Triple H dies tomorrow.

http://www.balloonmaniacs.com/images/scoobydooheadsruhrohballoon.gif

[James Steele]

Sting/Roode collide.

Crowd is insane for Sting. Women are throwing their babies at Sting and men are throwing their underwear as well.

[James Steele]

I can't wait until Roode and Orton do a pose-off in the corner in 2014.

[James Steele]

FUCK, why do you have JB do this? His voice is fucking horrible.

[James Steele]

Damn, Brian Hebner is looking rough. Lay off the Red Bull and hookers, bro.

[James Steele]

Bobby Roode "employing classic heel tactics". I love it.

[James Steele]

Sting's shoes/tights hanging over his boots is distracting. Looks like he is wearing blue/purple clogs.

[James Steele]

I love how timeless the sleeper spot is. It works every time...

[James Steele]

SUPERPLEX! Sting is on a roll. Scorpion Deathlock locked on.

[James Steele]

Tenay is so obnoxious as the babyface-loving announcer. "TAP AND LOSE THE TITLE! TAP AND LOSE THE TITLE! TAP AND LOSE THE TITLE BOBBY!"

[James Steele]

"You still got it!" chant toward Sting. Shouldn't that only be used on people who take longer than a month off?

[James Steele]

TNA has a fancy announce table. Scorpion Deathlock on the table. He taps, but it doesn't matter. Apparently, nobody in the arena has ever watched wrestling before.

Beer bottle finish. WTF, can you not just end a fucking show clean? Y'know, it won't kill a babyface to lose clean to a heel champion.

Sting has snapped and assaulted Roode and Brian Hebner.

Sting suplexes Roode onto the ramp.

Sting throws Roode into one of the entrance support beams.

Sting gives the Scorpion Death Drop to Roode off the ramp and through a bunch of boxes on the floor covered by a black sheet.

Anderson vs Roode on iMPACT WRESTLING! LiVE!

At least we finally got some storyline resolutions in the biggest PPV in the company's history.

I give this PPV:

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111126235027/tlaststand/images/9/9a/Sledgehammer.pnghttp://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111126235027/tlaststand/images/9/9a/Sledgehammer.pnghttp://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111126235027/tlaststand/images/9/9a/Sledgehammer.png
3 SLEDGEHAMMERS OUT OF 5

[James Steele]

I'm never doing this shit again...unless I get really close to a post-count milestone.

[Tazz Dan]

I'm never doing this shit again...

Thank fuck for that.

[James Steele]

I think many people will come to TPWW and check this thread in the morning and be quite thrilled at what I have created.

[Tazz Dan]

It was a good effort.

[St. Jimmy]

DAT TNA FINISH.

[FourFifty]

So what did Tazz Dan post that pissed off Trips?

[James Steele]

So what did Tazz Dan post that pissed off Trips?

Several pictures of underage girls in bikinis.

[Damndirty]

They were... underaged :(

[St. Jimmy]

My dick couldn't tell the difference.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg441/scaled.php?server=441&filename=ricflair5ub6.gif&res=landing

[Innovator]

That reminds me of the promo where Angle, Flair, and HHH were sweating through their shirts:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rwhUIgexRB4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Tazz Dan]

Apparently Trips didn't care, he told me so. And only a couple were a bit iffy. I just cooed and pasted from somewhere else with thinking too much. MY BAD.

[Jordan]

This was a good PPV, TNA is so much better in an arena with thousands of people, it's really something nice and feels like a true alternative to WWE, even rival.

[DLVH84]

I agree. Sting put Bobby Roode over very well. I believe Roode has been a very credible champion and I hope his reign lasts a long time.

Unlike some people (yes, I'm referring to you, Bulk Hogan, Eric Jerkoff, and Dick Flair), Sting has no problem helping out and putting over new and younger talent. In a way, he's like the Terry Funk of TNA, just without all the retirements.

And like Scott Steiner, I didn't like the fact Hulk Hogan changed Brooke Tessmacher's name back to Miss Tessmacher, simply because his daughter Brooke is there. That's stupid. Just say their first and last names to differentiate when they're both together.

I also liked James Storm coming back and finally shutting Crimson up.

[Malfeitor]

Just got done watching Joe vs Aries. It was damn good. Now onto the rest...