Cool King Presents - A Last Minute Raw Thread

[Cool King]

Yeah, so this is the Raw thread.

Sup?

[Corndad]

Wasn't sure if someone was going to do one of these lol Good Call King.

[PorkSoda]

The chat is empty as well. Get your asses over there.

[Cool King]

Lesnar and Heyman kicking this off.

[#1-norm-fan]

I thought I was going crazy. How was there no Raw thread til now??

[Corndad]

Here comes the pain

[JimmyMess]

raw is war

[Cool King]

Heyman speaks the truth.

[Lock Jaw]

I bet since WWE Pool is over, Primo and Epico somehow win the tag titles tonight.

[Cool King]

The scary thing is, most of the WWE's fans these days were just being born when Triple H tore his quad. :(

[Corndad]

So glad they brought Heyman in to work with Lesnar, he makes him sound like a damn beast every time. That and the less Lesnar talks the more intimidating he is.

[Cool King]

It would be great if Armstrong had some theme music.

[road doggy dogg]

What the hell did Brock just do to that ref?
crossrine

[Cool King]

It looked like he was going to kiss him, like he did with Angle.

[Keith]

Hmm this is interesting. I wonder where they're going with this.

[Corndad]

The Brocktagon lol

[Savio]

Brock "One Sentance" Lesnar

[#1-norm-fan]

I love that he thanked the referee. That and the cocky smile. Way better than him just attacking Armstrong. (Though he may do that anyway...)

[Cool King]

Brocktagon?

[Heisenberg]

ALL HAIL KING LESNAR!

[Cool King]

I'm sure most people just jizzed when Heyman said "Brock Lesnar", there.

[Keith]

Shawn Michaels live via satellite?

He's not going to challenge Brock Lesnar to a match at Survivor Series, right?

Why else would he be interviewed the night after Summerslam?

[DLVH84]

It would be great if Armstrong had some theme music.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yNrO7KnmgDE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Cool King]

They're really shoving those Brawling Buddies down our throats.

Nice advertising strategy. :y:

[Cool King]

Awesome, Cody!

[Cool King]

The back of Darren's T-shirt just reminds me of the CAW designs you get on the WWE games.

[MisterLee]

Titus and Young really gotta stop doing their "homo shuffle" up on the ramp.

[#1-norm-fan]

Titus and Young really gotta stop doing their "homo shuffle" up on the ramp.

No they don't.

[Cool King]

Titus and Young really gotta stop doing their "homo shuffle" up on the ramp.

I actually like it.

[Cool King]

Did Lawler just admit to thinking Sin Cara was cute?

[Savio]

Botchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[el bobbo]

Kane is tagging with Zack Ryder? Didn't he break his back?

[Corndad]

Kane and Zach vs Miz and Bryan lol I kinda love it.

[el bobbo]

YES!!! Otunga...

[Savio]

lol @ AJ

[Cool King]

I miss the goatee. :'(

[Corndad]

The Thermos has returned

[Heisenberg]

AJ should throw Otunga to Barrett.

[el bobbo]

Fucking love AJ

[Corndad]

Otunga is so facing Ryback tonight

[Savio]

Otunga should team with JTG they could be this eras odd couple.

[Cool King]

Does AJ have ADD? Her eyes never stay still.

[Cool King]

I bet this is the very first and only episode of Raw she'll watch.

[#1-norm-fan]

RYYYYBACCCCKKKKK!

[Corndad]

Well so much for the Ryback Otunga match lol

[Cool King]

Ryback's new theme is unintentionally humorous.

[Feed me!]

Yes ryback! Best thing on wwe telly today.

[Corndad]

Really Jinder

[Feed me!]

REAALLLLYYYYYY!!!!

[Cool King]

Jericho is losing.

[Keith]

LOL so this is how Jericho is written off.

[Savio]

What a stupid way to write off jericho

[Immortal Moose]

Guess so

[LoDownM]

Feel like I've seen this storyline with Jericho before.

[Corndad]

Nice another Jericho/Ziggles match. Looks like end of Jericho for a while though...

[#1-norm-fan]

Ugh. Bye bye, Jericho. :'(

[MisterLee]

I guess Y2J is losing tonight.

[#1-norm-fan]

What a stupid way to write off jericho

lol. So random. Insanely huge stipulations added to a random Raw match for no reason.

[parkmania]

Does WWE swerve us and have Y2J win this one only to have Vickie/Dolph next week propose a 3rd match with DOLPH'S career vs the MitB?

[#1-norm-fan]

Atleast he got a cool PPV win before he left though.

[Cool King]

I don't think we'll see Jericho until January, after tonight.

Fozzy's tour is pretty long. They're touring North America at the moment and they won't be coming to the UK until November.

I might be going to see them in Glasgow.

[parkmania]

No car for ADR!

[Savio]

lol. So random. Insanely huge stipulations added to a random Raw match for no reason.
It kinda makes AJ heel too.

[Evil Vito]

That just reeked of laziness by the writers.

[el bobbo]

Cheamus

[Crimson]

AJ coming out in every single segment..is it really necessary

[Corndad]

Oh shit.

[Keith]

Orton's got wide hips.

[Cool King]

I hope Del Rio gets a rematch at Night Of Champions and wins.

[Corndad]

I was so ready for Mysterio to come out when she said "Your little friend" lol

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: I like how AJ says she has no authority with Smackdown so she sets up Del Rio to face Orton who's from Smackdown for his match.

[#1-norm-fan]

It kinda makes AJ heel too.

Nah, not really. At least Jericho has something to gain.

[Cool King]

<object id="tout_embed_lhclkr" width="350" height="263" data="http://d2cjdr17j9fuin.cloudfront.net/assets/tout-embed.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="movie" value="http://d2cjdr17j9fuin.cloudfront.net/assets/tout-embed.swf" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="config={'pltype':'tout','id':'lhclkr','c':'1','autoplay':0}" /></object>

[MisterLee]

:lol: I like how AJ says she has no authority with Smackdown so she sets up Del Rio to face Orton who's from Smackdown for his match.


Yeah Raw makes a whole lot of sense right now. lol and paul Heyman just "touted" Brock saying he's leaving WWE.

[Cool King]

Oh no, Sheamus is going to talk.

[Cool King]

Fucking hell, not even 10 seconds in and Sheamus talks about Ireland.

[Cool King]

20 seconds and "Arse" makes a show.

[MisterLee]

Sheamus needs to shut his arse up.

[Cool King]

All we need now is a story about his "family" and we have the full set.

[ClockShot]

An hour in and only 2 pages?

Come on, guys. We're better than this!

[Immortal Moose]

lol #wwepornnames is trending

[Poit]

But... letting the champion pick his opponent isn't unprecedented. Sheamus did the same thing when he was WWE Champion.

[MisterLee]

Anyone notice Orton has only won recently by some kind of distraction? Punishment?

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>We apologize to whomever has to do the closed captioning while Sheamus is on commentary <a href="https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23RAWTonight"><s>#</s><b>RAWTonight</b></a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/status/237716001188347905" data-datetime="2012-08-21T01:01:25+00:00">August 21, 2012</a></blockquote>
<script src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Cool King]

Lawler irks me.

[Keith]

I wonder if HBK will do what he did back in 2002 when Triple H attacked him, and then they wrestled each other at Summerslam.

I wonder if he'll be like "I couldn't be there because of my injury, but I should get better. In fact, I should get better in time for Survivor Series. Brock, I challenge you!"

[DLVH84]

Pretty cool Gotch-style facebuster Cesaro has.

[Wake Up Call]

Tout is retarded

[Cool King]

The WWE Universe expands to more than just the US, Cole.

[Wake Up Call]

The last two replays, some people actually paid 50 bucks to see them.

[Cool King]

I'm pretty sure Pauly D was the bully when he was at school.

[ClockShot]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Starting to regret raw going to 3 hours.

[Cool King]

Otunga's opponent?

[Corndad]

When are they gonna let Naomi actually wrestle?

[Wake Up Call]

Brodus is terrible. Sorry, but he is..

[Keith]

Brodus Clay looks like a big, giant baby lol

[Shisen Kopf]

Why don't they just YouTube? Tout seems pretty stupid.

[Savio]

Naomi vs Tensai

[ClockShot]

Paul Rudd & Ray Lewis doing a Madden ad.

*scratches head*

[Heisenberg]

Still hoping Otunga gets jobbed out to the Barrett Barrage tonight.

[#1-norm-fan]

Brodus is terrible. Sorry, but he is..

You shut your mouth when you're talking about Brodus Clay...

[Keith]

Let Naomi do what she's doing.

Love seeing black asses bounce.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Starting to regret raw going to 3 hours.

How can you regret something that you didn't have a choice over?

[Emperor Smeat]

Naomi vs Tensai

Tensai would probably kill Sakamoto after his loss.

[#1-norm-fan]

Still hoping Otunga gets jobbed out to the Barrett Barrage tonight.

I'm running out of options of who it could be. First I thought Ryback. Then Orton. Then Brodus... Maybe Sheamus but I'm pretty sure he's done for the night.

[ClockShot]

How can you regret something that you didn't have a choice over?

I hold stock with the company. Well, used to.

I HAVE A VOICE!

[ClockShot]

"Intellectual Savior of the Masses"

That's a little much.

[MisterLee]

Brodus Clay. Terrible.

[MisterLee]

LOL at Michael Cole keep cutting off Jerry the King Lawler and Jerry going "I'ma slap you"

[ClockShot]

Is it just me, or did the Funkettes get new boobs?

[Cool King]

For a second, I thought Sandow was going to lose.

[Savio]

was hoping Sandow would get pinned.

[#1-norm-fan]

Blah. Not sure how I feel about that finish.

[ClockShot]

And the kids magically appear yet again.

[Keith]

Come on HBK, challenge Brock!

[#1-norm-fan]

Come on HBK, challenge Brock!

Really don't care to see HBK come back just to get destroyed by Brock.

[Damndirty]

Brock and HBK... not sure that's gonna happen, doubt it considering the combination of size difference, age, and time out of the ring.

[Savio]

"Intellectual Savior of the Masses"

That's a little much.
:cool:

[Ruien]

Is Naomi the light skin or dark skin girl?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Dark

[Damndirty]

Love Heyman, but damn, dude sounds like the fucking Aflack Duck

[Cool King]

I hope Shawn doesn't challenge Brock.

[Cool King]

Cole looks like he's dressed for a funeral.

[ClockShot]

HBK live via satelite from his luxury hunting blind.

[Damndirty]

Brock vs. Shawn would be a squash

[Damndirty]

Undertaker vs. Brock more likely

[Cool King]

lol one single solitary boo.

[Damndirty]

Is Shawn about to (fake) cry?

[Keith]

LOL they're acting as if Triple H died.

[Ruien]

Good because the light skin girl is damn sexy.

[Cool King]

Shawns place is a massive fire hazzard.

[Damndirty]

Cole looks like he's dressed for a funeral.

This seems like a eulogy

[ClockShot]

What the hell, is the crowd muted?

[#1-norm-fan]

lol. These still shots are weird.

[Keith]

Shawn's about to lose his smile live on television!

[Cool King]

Undertaker vs. Brock more likely

Possibly.

Heyman's Tout had Brock claiming to have done everything, so he was leaving.

He hasn't faced/beaten The Undertaker at WrestleMania.

[Shisen Kopf]

Did HHH ever share Chyna with Shawn?

[Damndirty]

Ryback needs to pull Brock's head out so the world can see his neck.

[Emperor Smeat]

What the hell, is the crowd muted?

Yeah really sounds like it was.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>lol that segment was just a blatant HHH masturbation fest</font>

[Keith]

Possibly.

Heyman's Tout had Brock claiming to have done everything, so he was leaving.

He hasn't faced/beaten The Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Brock proclaimed himself as the new "King of Kings", and Undertaker is the "Lord of Darkness", so who knows?

But I think that if Triple H comes back, he'd have another match with Brock.

[Damndirty]

lol that segment was just a blatant HHH masturbation fest

For James Steele

[Immortal Moose]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>This is why Triple H doesn't job very often; because every time he loses, we have to dedicate a segment to "spin" it <a href="https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23RAWTonight"><s>#</s><b>RAWTonight</b></a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/status/237725121828237313" data-datetime="2012-08-21T01:37:40+00:00">August 21, 2012</a></blockquote>
<script src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Keith]

lol that segment was just a blatant HHH masturbation fest

I still don't get why HBK was brought into this feud.

And tonight's HBK interview was kinda unnecessary.

[Damndirty]

I would say Austin vs. Brock... don't know, kinda falls with the stats of Shawn

[Wake Up Call]

So how many times over the next hour will they replay HBK? How many times over the next week? 2 weeks?

[Damndirty]

Here comes the fucking Barrett Barrage!!!!

[Savio]

Did HHH ever share Chyna with Shawn?
No w/ Xpac

[Damndirty]

oh

[Corndad]

Big Show lol This is random.

[Heisenberg]

Dammit, no Barrage.

[Cool King]

Ah, Big Show.

Bit of a let down.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Heel on Heel Violence, no!

[Damndirty]

Is Show supposed to slowly go back to face again.... AGAIN!?

[Poit]

Final Cut!

I'm glad Show is using that move again.

[Damndirty]

This match is like giant skinhead vs. gary coleman

[Heisenberg]

The Battle of Johnny Ace's Lackeys

[ClockShot]

Do we really need to see these wwe.com exclusives?

[Cool King]

"Welcome back Otunga. Thanks for taking the time to shoot a movie for us. To show our thanks, we've booked you to job tonight. Majestically."

[Emperor Smeat]

Josh Matthews can learn from the WWE Exclusive backstage guy considering he never shows up on camera nor is close enough to be grabbed and tossed into a wall or off screen.

[MisterLee]

that knee to Otunga's face was pretty hardcore man. The creative team sucks btw.

[Damndirty]

Oh, Big Show.... you know you're gonna give fives and hugs to little kids down the ramp eventually.

[Volare]

Holy shit Ryder on Raw.....5 minute match.

[Damndirty]

Holy shit Ryder on Raw.....5 minute match.

Ryder is the reason its not gonna be long

[Cool King]

Do we really need to see these wwe.com exclusives?

Yes and No.

No, because they're on WWE.com, so we could all just easily head over to the site and watch them if we want to.

Yes, because most likely nobody actually watches them on WWE.com.

[Volare]

Big Show actually cut a good promo on that one as well.

[Cool King]

Holy shit Ryder on Raw.....5 minute match.

At least we won't get him bitching about not being on Raw, on Z! True Long Island Story this week.

[Volare]

Yay Ryder gets to come up with something new for 30 secs in his next episode.

[Volare]

Cmon new Ryder theme....one can only hope.

[Damndirty]

So this is the defining moment where we see how heel CM Punk is. It falls on if he wants to fight Hornswoggle or Cena. I pick Swog because seeing midgets getting
killed = ratings

[Damndirty]

Ooooh radio, tell me everything you know!

[Volare]

God Dammit.

[Corndad]

#RyderactuallyonRaw

[Wake Up Call]

The best part of Raw is now here, Daniel Bryan.

[Corndad]

The crowd reactions to Daniel Bryan are amazing. Over as fuck right now.

[MisterLee]

So this is the defining moment where we see how heel CM Punk is. It falls on if he wants to fight Hornswoggle or Cena. I pick Swog because seeing midgets getting
killed = ratings

Yeah Hornswoggle be my bet..or Jerry The King Lawler.

[Volare]

The Old Show NXT....lmfao Cole.

[Cool King]

http://www.memegeneokerlund.com/media/created/c41qx1.jpg

[Damndirty]

Okay this is "One of these things just doesn't belong here!" match! 3 here are former Champions, and Ryder... not really (US Champ doesn't count)

[Heisenberg]

I love this already, Bryan interacts in the greatest ways with all the fans

[Cool King]

I've always liked how Miz strokes his titles.

[Volare]

Ryder chants nice. Not dubbed in lol.

[Damndirty]

The match just got into the Botch Zone!

[MisterLee]

THE MIZ! Or the #WWePornNames The Jizz. LOL

[Cool King]

Fans: WE WANT RYDER!

*Kane Tags Ryder*

Fans: :|

[#1-norm-fan]

Michael Cole's short-term memory kicking in.

[MisterLee]

Ryder hasn't been on Raw in a while..ring rust? LOL

[Damndirty]

There's a reason Ryder hasn't been on Raw a while!

[Volare]

Miz Woo Woo Woo newest gif online in 4 minutes.

[Corndad]

Slaps him and Runs LOL

[Damndirty]

Kane's got nobody to rape except...

[Volare]

LMAO Ryder deadz.

[Wake Up Call]

Time for Ryder to get Buried!

[Damndirty]

Something tells me that Ryder is not gonna be on the next Raw or after that.

[MisterLee]

Tombstone BOTCH!

[MisterLee]

But that def. was an amazing chokeslam. And the Kane went ham on the timekeeper.

[Cool King]

Kane taking tips from Mark Henry and attacking crew members.

[Volare]

Someone Push that Time Keeper to the moon right the fuck now, now that's how you sell a throw god dammit!

[Damndirty]

Here we go... sigh

[Wake Up Call]

Doesn't TNA do these type of interviews?

[Cool King]

Lawler, that was not the timekeeper. The timekeeper is Mark Yeaton.

That was not Mark Yeaton.

[Volare]

MATT FUCKING STRIKER!!

[Damndirty]

What if he picks AJ to fight?

[Savio]

Alex Riley

[#1-norm-fan]

Do we really need to see these wwe.com exclusives?

lol. IT'S A FUCKING INTERVIEW. Who cares if it's a WWE.com exclusive? Did you not mind this interview that immediately followed it because it doesn't say "WWE.com exclusive" at the bottom???

[MisterLee]

#RESPECT

[Corndad]

C'mon Kaitlyn

[Damndirty]

Alright, time to buy a drink for myself.

[MisterLee]

UGH..Diva battle royal..zZzZ

[Cool King]

I reeeeally hope Kaitlyn wins.

[Damndirty]

And here, I though Kharma would solve this problem.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

lol. IT'S A FUCKING INTERVIEW. Who cares if it's a WWE.com exclusive? Did you not mind this interview that immediately followed it because it doesn't say "WWE.com exclusive" at the bottom???

If they show it on raw it's not a wwe.com exclusive.

[Damndirty]

That Undertaker DVD segment is already more interesting than this match is going to be.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

What will be the stipulation? Automatic main-event?

[Volare]

Watch the Divas shit while high, It'll give you something else to do.

[Volare]

Must be a tit bit cold in there.

[Damndirty]

Uh... did Layla's tits just get amazingly huge or is it an optical illusion?

[Innovator]

Go Banana!

[Cool King]

Isn't Beth supposed to be in this match?

[Corndad]

This is what the Divas have become. Cmon Natty or Kaitlyn for for the win. Something.

[MisterLee]

Just took a piss. Is it over yet?

[#1-norm-fan]

If they show it on raw it's not a wwe.com exclusive.

So that "wwe.com exclusive" at the bottom of the screen suddenly makes the interview meaningless because of that technical inaccuracy? Who gives a shit?

[Damndirty]

Why doesn't Nat just fart to clear the ring?

[Innovator]

Cmon Nattie

[Savio]

noooooooooooo

[Innovator]

Or Eve

[Cool King]

This is what the Divas have become. Cmon Natty or Kaitlyn for for the win. Something.

Ditto.

[Damndirty]

Tamina doesn't have an ass...

[Cool King]

YES! KAITLYN WINS!

[Innovator]

Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiight

[Damndirty]

Why is it a shocker?

[Corndad]

YES!! KAITLYN!!!!!!! FUCKIN RIGHT!

[Volare]

Oh shit do I smell a botch

[MisterLee]

Kaitlyn..well better than Kelly Kelly I guess.

[Shisen Kopf]

Wow, that was awful. Bring back Lita vs Trish over this garbage.

[Keith]

What's up with Kaitlyn's eye?

[Innovator]

Kaitlyn has music? Alright

[Corndad]

Eve just got fucked up

[Cool King]

Eve crying blood? :shifty:

[#1-norm-fan]

Hmm. Weird look on Layla's face like she wasn't pleased. Heel turn?

[Damndirty]

This goddamn replay again!!!

[Volare]

I loved Layla's look at the end.

[Cool King]

Jericho vs Ziggler should be up next.

[Keith]

LOL it sounds as if Brock was reading that

[Damndirty]

Lesnar likes Happy Hopping Moron Day

[#1-norm-fan]

"I'm the king of the WWE now"

"I'm leaving the WWE"

[Volare]

Oh shit Jericho is leaving....god dammit.

[Damndirty]

So if Jericho leaves, will he get an honorable departure like Flair..... all signs point to

















no

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Why wasnt beth in the battle royal?

[Cool King]

This'll be Ziggler's first Luchas de Apuestas.

This is Jericho's fifth.