Kalyx triaD
12-22-2013, 09:11 PM
Some are royal by blood, others married into their status. Some are more or less honorary so Disney could pad their princesses roster. No matter what, they've all gathered in the valley Mustafa perished in - TO DO BATTLE, BECAUSE FUCK YOU.
I considered doing this by rounds with set match-ups, then it became apparent that I rather not prolong this absurdity beyond a single thread. So here we are; vote for the victor of this bloody tournament. Who shall survive? Who?!
Challengers:
Snow White
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/68/Snow_White_Disney.jpg
The Fairest of Them All herself. Her tale is actually one of a cou d'eta, since there was an evil queen in power and her boyfriend wasn't actually a prince - they simple took the castle after the dwarves killed the evil women. A maid by trade, Snow White appears to have no combat skills, but consider that after a bad experience with poisoned fruit - she may have developed a obsession with poison. Her new found expertise in deadly chemicals makes her a dark horse in the battle.
Cinderella
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f6/Disney_Cinderella_princess.jpg
Originating from a broken home where she was essentially a slave and more than likely physically abused on a regular, Cinderella truly started from the bottom. A magic allowed her to cosplay as a princess for a night, leading to events where a shoe size was the best thing that ever happened to her. While initially as non-violent as her fairy godmother, a later sequel revealed Cinderella to have taken up swordsplay. Her skills with a blade give her an edge, as well as the latent rage from years of mistreatment from her own family. Disney itself considers Cinderella "Leader of the Princesses", a title not to be taken lightly.
Aurora
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6c/Princess_aurora21.jpg
The titular Sleeping Beauty has had the unfortunate tape of being the archenemy of Disney's scariest and cruelest villain, Maleficent. A curse from infanthood doomed her to die upon bad sewing. Luckily, a lifelong fiance managed to cure her from eternal sleep and kill the bitch witch. Aurora had to live a common life in Disney's only allusion to witness protection, and such may have survival skills worth a damn. She was also watched over by three fairies whom she may have learned some magic tricks from. Overall she's probably the least combat ready of the bunch, but don't count out somebody who's lived with fairies. Ever.
Ariel
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/31/Ariel_mermaid.jpg
The Little Mermaid is the only non-human of the bunch, and this fact actually has interesting repercussions for the battle. It was, shit you not, explored and theorized by fans that Ariel's life 'under the sea' grants her super-strength and endurance. She grew up under thousand pounds of pressure, and was even seen moving items underwater that were easily hundreds of pounds. The battle is on land so her swimming abilities are moot, but if her physical power remains we have a huge problem in the tournament. Fun fact: As of her sequel she is the only milf of the princesses.
Belle
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/aa/Princess_Belle.jpg
Belle is another commoner who had a lucky turn of events, meeting a beast that turned out to be a prince. After a rocky start, they got along and eventually broke the curse that made him a beast to begin with. And at the foot of the castle is the corpse of some guy who literally died for nothing. Anyway, Belle is natively a book worm. Her favorite part of the castle wasn't the talking dishes, but the library. One could assume she's read that era's equivalent to Black Belt magazine, so let's throw her a bone here. Otherwise, she's the least combative of the group.
Jasmine
http://disney-clipart.com/Aladdin/jasmine/Disney-Princess-Jasmine3.jpg
This is an interesting case where it's the guy who married into power, even though the guy is a liar. In any case, Jasmine is actually action packed as hell, showcasing swordsmanship during the TV series, as well as cunning and physical prowess. Jasmine is also equipped with a fucking tiger that doesn't seem to leave her side, the only case I'd allow an animal friend to participate, as he's specifically her personal protector. Falling for a bad boy may also up her gritty combat game, using stealth and making alliances to bolster her chances. Lastly, she's the most likely to create and utilize bombs on the field.
Pocahontas
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/33/Pocahontas_sitting_1995.jpg
Very much in the upper tier in terms of physical ability, combat, and survival skills. A Native American who lived off the land and kinda sorta fell in love with some white guy. As far as the battle goes, Poca was shown to have some mystic connection to nature beyond having talking animal friends. The winds and waters answer her call, as well as various creatures. This is a powerful advantage in the tournament. She's also more than likely skilled with a short ax, bow, and spear - signature weapons of her people. Easily a finalist when shit hits the fan.
Mulan
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01608/mulan_1608487i.jpg
Shit gets real right about here. Pay attention; Mulan broke all manner of rules to join an army and fight where women weren't allowed. Unlike the other princesses who may know swordsplay as an aside, or have combat skills as a secondary, or only have theorized combat ability - Mulan specifically trained as a warrior. It is her fucking job. She knows kung fu. She knows the sword. She knows the bow. She out performed her male peers in the military and yeah; totally disarmed a guy with a damn fan. Mulan is not to be trifled with and must be taken seriously by all the other contenders. Nuff said.
Tiana
http://www.fact.co.uk/media/1167423/the_princess_and_the_frog_2.jpg
I hate to pull this card but I gotta be honest; Tiana's a black chick. From the South. There's not a single scene with her using a weapon, spells, or having extensive knowledge in something other than running a business. I still put my bottom dollar on her being able to absolutely beat the shit out of anybody who crosses her the wrong way. She'll be the one saying all sorts of "Hole up" and "Bitches" while she punches, scratches, and wrestles the princess who may not be versed in ghetto combat. She may be the princess worth watching during the fray for creative language and street fighting alone. Tiana would be a volatile fighter with street senses during the battle.
Rapunzel
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/53/Disney_Rapunzel_running_white_background.jpg
A sheltered life and a lot to comb, Rapunzel has a lot to be angry about. She was kept prisoner in a tower by a lady hell bent on harvesting her long magical hair. For the sake of the battle let's assume Rapunzel keeps her long locks and their magical attributes. They could have a surprising effect in battle, if anything to throw opponents off. This is of course until somebody decides to just pull it, but Rapunzel's hair doesn't seem to the type to bother her and may in fact be a dangerous to grab if you intend to do harm to her. Provided she keeps the sword users from outright cutting it, Rapunzel has an interesting weapon at her... head.
Merida
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3c/Meridadisneyprincess.jpg
Here's another case of dangerous tomboy. Merida dared to break out of the gender mold and went to forge her own destiny. She is also a fucking sniper with her bow. Her skills at shooting arrows is best in the land, far surpassing the other bow users in this tournament. She's also tough in her own right, and simply not build as flimsy as the other petite princesses. This makes her a force to be reckoned with at all ranges, but it's still terrifying to know that she could down an opponent from half a mile away. She also looks like she'd headbutt you as a last resort. Not a single princess - barring Mulan - would see that coming.
Elsa
http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2013/07/Frozen-Elsa.jpg
Everything stated just might be moot with Elsa, the newest Disney princess, present in the battle. Her movie's premise is exactly about how powerful she is, being able to cast winter over an entire region. She's so powerful she may be the first Disney Princess to perma-ban herself from her own kingdom. Her powers are tied to her emotions, which is really why chicks shouldn't be super-powered in the first place. And now she's in a death battle, where she doesn't have to restrain herself. Just imagine the cold chaos she could bring during the fray; her first move may kill a few princesses at once. Not a game, kids, not a game.
Honorable Additions:
Kida
http://www.disgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/595px-Princess_Kida_Atlantis_by_Jedijosh44.jpg
Who's to say why Kida, a Disney character who is also a princess, isn't in the actual Disney Princesses line. There were rumblings of some kind of image racism, as well as Atlantis simply not being well known as a movie. Perhaps it was to avoid having her in battle royales to the death - because this chick is absolutely broken (to borrow a fighting game phrase). Kida is, as far as we can tell, a latent demi-goddess. Perhaps the only princess to match Elsa in terms of power. And even without going super sayijin, she's also in the class of athletic princesses. Back to the main point - she is extremely powerful. And may require a ban of sorts from the tournament.
Quorra
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/5469/1652404-quorra_small_thumb_430x504_46669.jpg
Yeah, yeah; mileage may vary here. What we have here is a chick from a Disney movie who while not a princess, factors importantly in her movie's story - the last of a virtual sub-race who managed to make it to the human world. Assuming her abilities transferred intact, she brings martial arts and slight weapons combat to the table. A throwing disc may grant her ranged prowess and as an advanced AI technically, she could record and learn any weapon spotted on the field anyway. At worst, we have a decent light show out there.
Elizabeth
http://lancemannion.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/04/pirates_elizabeth_01.jpg
Another woman from a Disney movie, she's at least the daughter of a governor, which is damn close to a contemporary princess. She is also, through events I won't even attempt to explain, Pirate Lord of the China Sea. Trained by the son of Bootstrap Bill (god rest his soul), Mrs. Turner he very apt at the sword. But another interesting advantage comes with her from her movies - deadly smart reasoning and deception. The initial Pirates trilogy is essentially about liars trying to out-lie each other, so we have a woman who make and break alliances almost minute by minute. She tricked, and subsequently killed, the star of the franchise. This makes her dangerous, particularly putting her in an arena against women who are mostly described as being pure of heart and honest.
Stop wondering why this thread exists and vote.
I considered doing this by rounds with set match-ups, then it became apparent that I rather not prolong this absurdity beyond a single thread. So here we are; vote for the victor of this bloody tournament. Who shall survive? Who?!
Challengers:
Snow White
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/68/Snow_White_Disney.jpg
The Fairest of Them All herself. Her tale is actually one of a cou d'eta, since there was an evil queen in power and her boyfriend wasn't actually a prince - they simple took the castle after the dwarves killed the evil women. A maid by trade, Snow White appears to have no combat skills, but consider that after a bad experience with poisoned fruit - she may have developed a obsession with poison. Her new found expertise in deadly chemicals makes her a dark horse in the battle.
Cinderella
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f6/Disney_Cinderella_princess.jpg
Originating from a broken home where she was essentially a slave and more than likely physically abused on a regular, Cinderella truly started from the bottom. A magic allowed her to cosplay as a princess for a night, leading to events where a shoe size was the best thing that ever happened to her. While initially as non-violent as her fairy godmother, a later sequel revealed Cinderella to have taken up swordsplay. Her skills with a blade give her an edge, as well as the latent rage from years of mistreatment from her own family. Disney itself considers Cinderella "Leader of the Princesses", a title not to be taken lightly.
Aurora
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6c/Princess_aurora21.jpg
The titular Sleeping Beauty has had the unfortunate tape of being the archenemy of Disney's scariest and cruelest villain, Maleficent. A curse from infanthood doomed her to die upon bad sewing. Luckily, a lifelong fiance managed to cure her from eternal sleep and kill the bitch witch. Aurora had to live a common life in Disney's only allusion to witness protection, and such may have survival skills worth a damn. She was also watched over by three fairies whom she may have learned some magic tricks from. Overall she's probably the least combat ready of the bunch, but don't count out somebody who's lived with fairies. Ever.
Ariel
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/31/Ariel_mermaid.jpg
The Little Mermaid is the only non-human of the bunch, and this fact actually has interesting repercussions for the battle. It was, shit you not, explored and theorized by fans that Ariel's life 'under the sea' grants her super-strength and endurance. She grew up under thousand pounds of pressure, and was even seen moving items underwater that were easily hundreds of pounds. The battle is on land so her swimming abilities are moot, but if her physical power remains we have a huge problem in the tournament. Fun fact: As of her sequel she is the only milf of the princesses.
Belle
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/aa/Princess_Belle.jpg
Belle is another commoner who had a lucky turn of events, meeting a beast that turned out to be a prince. After a rocky start, they got along and eventually broke the curse that made him a beast to begin with. And at the foot of the castle is the corpse of some guy who literally died for nothing. Anyway, Belle is natively a book worm. Her favorite part of the castle wasn't the talking dishes, but the library. One could assume she's read that era's equivalent to Black Belt magazine, so let's throw her a bone here. Otherwise, she's the least combative of the group.
Jasmine
http://disney-clipart.com/Aladdin/jasmine/Disney-Princess-Jasmine3.jpg
This is an interesting case where it's the guy who married into power, even though the guy is a liar. In any case, Jasmine is actually action packed as hell, showcasing swordsmanship during the TV series, as well as cunning and physical prowess. Jasmine is also equipped with a fucking tiger that doesn't seem to leave her side, the only case I'd allow an animal friend to participate, as he's specifically her personal protector. Falling for a bad boy may also up her gritty combat game, using stealth and making alliances to bolster her chances. Lastly, she's the most likely to create and utilize bombs on the field.
Pocahontas
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/33/Pocahontas_sitting_1995.jpg
Very much in the upper tier in terms of physical ability, combat, and survival skills. A Native American who lived off the land and kinda sorta fell in love with some white guy. As far as the battle goes, Poca was shown to have some mystic connection to nature beyond having talking animal friends. The winds and waters answer her call, as well as various creatures. This is a powerful advantage in the tournament. She's also more than likely skilled with a short ax, bow, and spear - signature weapons of her people. Easily a finalist when shit hits the fan.
Mulan
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01608/mulan_1608487i.jpg
Shit gets real right about here. Pay attention; Mulan broke all manner of rules to join an army and fight where women weren't allowed. Unlike the other princesses who may know swordsplay as an aside, or have combat skills as a secondary, or only have theorized combat ability - Mulan specifically trained as a warrior. It is her fucking job. She knows kung fu. She knows the sword. She knows the bow. She out performed her male peers in the military and yeah; totally disarmed a guy with a damn fan. Mulan is not to be trifled with and must be taken seriously by all the other contenders. Nuff said.
Tiana
http://www.fact.co.uk/media/1167423/the_princess_and_the_frog_2.jpg
I hate to pull this card but I gotta be honest; Tiana's a black chick. From the South. There's not a single scene with her using a weapon, spells, or having extensive knowledge in something other than running a business. I still put my bottom dollar on her being able to absolutely beat the shit out of anybody who crosses her the wrong way. She'll be the one saying all sorts of "Hole up" and "Bitches" while she punches, scratches, and wrestles the princess who may not be versed in ghetto combat. She may be the princess worth watching during the fray for creative language and street fighting alone. Tiana would be a volatile fighter with street senses during the battle.
Rapunzel
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/53/Disney_Rapunzel_running_white_background.jpg
A sheltered life and a lot to comb, Rapunzel has a lot to be angry about. She was kept prisoner in a tower by a lady hell bent on harvesting her long magical hair. For the sake of the battle let's assume Rapunzel keeps her long locks and their magical attributes. They could have a surprising effect in battle, if anything to throw opponents off. This is of course until somebody decides to just pull it, but Rapunzel's hair doesn't seem to the type to bother her and may in fact be a dangerous to grab if you intend to do harm to her. Provided she keeps the sword users from outright cutting it, Rapunzel has an interesting weapon at her... head.
Merida
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3c/Meridadisneyprincess.jpg
Here's another case of dangerous tomboy. Merida dared to break out of the gender mold and went to forge her own destiny. She is also a fucking sniper with her bow. Her skills at shooting arrows is best in the land, far surpassing the other bow users in this tournament. She's also tough in her own right, and simply not build as flimsy as the other petite princesses. This makes her a force to be reckoned with at all ranges, but it's still terrifying to know that she could down an opponent from half a mile away. She also looks like she'd headbutt you as a last resort. Not a single princess - barring Mulan - would see that coming.
Elsa
http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2013/07/Frozen-Elsa.jpg
Everything stated just might be moot with Elsa, the newest Disney princess, present in the battle. Her movie's premise is exactly about how powerful she is, being able to cast winter over an entire region. She's so powerful she may be the first Disney Princess to perma-ban herself from her own kingdom. Her powers are tied to her emotions, which is really why chicks shouldn't be super-powered in the first place. And now she's in a death battle, where she doesn't have to restrain herself. Just imagine the cold chaos she could bring during the fray; her first move may kill a few princesses at once. Not a game, kids, not a game.
Honorable Additions:
Kida
http://www.disgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/595px-Princess_Kida_Atlantis_by_Jedijosh44.jpg
Who's to say why Kida, a Disney character who is also a princess, isn't in the actual Disney Princesses line. There were rumblings of some kind of image racism, as well as Atlantis simply not being well known as a movie. Perhaps it was to avoid having her in battle royales to the death - because this chick is absolutely broken (to borrow a fighting game phrase). Kida is, as far as we can tell, a latent demi-goddess. Perhaps the only princess to match Elsa in terms of power. And even without going super sayijin, she's also in the class of athletic princesses. Back to the main point - she is extremely powerful. And may require a ban of sorts from the tournament.
Quorra
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/5469/1652404-quorra_small_thumb_430x504_46669.jpg
Yeah, yeah; mileage may vary here. What we have here is a chick from a Disney movie who while not a princess, factors importantly in her movie's story - the last of a virtual sub-race who managed to make it to the human world. Assuming her abilities transferred intact, she brings martial arts and slight weapons combat to the table. A throwing disc may grant her ranged prowess and as an advanced AI technically, she could record and learn any weapon spotted on the field anyway. At worst, we have a decent light show out there.
Elizabeth
http://lancemannion.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/04/pirates_elizabeth_01.jpg
Another woman from a Disney movie, she's at least the daughter of a governor, which is damn close to a contemporary princess. She is also, through events I won't even attempt to explain, Pirate Lord of the China Sea. Trained by the son of Bootstrap Bill (god rest his soul), Mrs. Turner he very apt at the sword. But another interesting advantage comes with her from her movies - deadly smart reasoning and deception. The initial Pirates trilogy is essentially about liars trying to out-lie each other, so we have a woman who make and break alliances almost minute by minute. She tricked, and subsequently killed, the star of the franchise. This makes her dangerous, particularly putting her in an arena against women who are mostly described as being pure of heart and honest.
Stop wondering why this thread exists and vote.