RAW thread 4/23/2018

[KIRA]

BRUAAAAAN

[Dark One]

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[Lock Jaw]

They should put Bobby Lashley in a tag team with Chad Gable.

American Alpha 3.0: The Headband Boyz

[Dark One]

They should put Bobby Lashley in a tag team with Chad Gable.

American Alpha 3.0: The Headband Boyz

Angelo Dawkins gonna slide in there. HEADBAND NATION

[Dark One]

Braun follows just three accounts on Twitter.

WWE.
Nicholas.
...
...
Alexa Bliss.

[Dark One]

Wonder how Bobby Lashley feels about Shoneys.

[Lock Jaw]

Angelo Dawkins gonna slide in there. HEADBAND NATION

Headband-based stable would be a premium gimmick

[Lock Jaw]

Braun follows just three accounts on Twitter.

WWE.
Nicholas.
...
...
Alexa Bliss.

Fantastic.

[Savio]

If Cynick was here he would say the best way to get Lashley over would be to have a real competitive match with the top guy (Cena) and lose....(One week after Cena has a real competitive match with Dolph)

[Dark One]

Headband-based stable would be a premium gimmick

Logo:

https://thumb7.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/437/370282394/stock-vector-illustration-of-a-smiley-wearing-a-headband-while-working-out-with-a-dumbbell-370282394.jpg

[DAMN iNATOR]

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https://thumbs.gfycat.com/InbornPartialGlobefish-max-1mb.gif

[Lock Jaw]

With the shutterstock watermark still on it

[Dark One]

If Cynick was here he would say the best way to get Lashley over would be to have a real competitive match with the top guy (Cena) and lose....(One week after Cena has a real competitive match with Dolph)

We all know the correct way to get Bobby Lashley over is to call his "THE FEAST INCARNATE" CHOC LESSSNAAAAARRRRR

[KIRA]

Bobby lost the headband there goes his power limiter what he does next is not his responsibility

[Dark One]

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/InbornPartialGlobefish-max-1mb.gif

His parents:

https://media.tenor.com/images/07721729aa22c79182a732cb8c863171/tenor.gif

[Dark One]

Bobby lost the headband there goes his power limiter what he does next is not his responsibility

Nah man

Now his forehead is gonna roll down and takeover the rest of his face.

[Dark One]

Did they find out Chrisley killed Tupac and Biggie in that series yet or nah?

[KIRA]

Shit Sami got launched

[Emperor Smeat]

Did they find out Chrisley killed Tupac and Biggie in that series yet or nah?

Probably going to be the big surprise for the series finale.

[ClockShot]

:rofl:

[Lock Jaw]

Strowman running wild and the crowd going banana

[slik]

KO DEAD

[Dark One]

How the fuck does Braun Strowman make Kevin Owens look like El Torito in this gif?

http://i.imgur.com/2kXTU1s.gif

[Dark One]

Strowman running wild and the crowd going banana

Noid right now is somewhere saying no one cares about Braun Strowman.

[Lock Jaw]

I bet if Noid was watching he would still claim that Strowman isn't over, though.

[KIRA]

LOL he keeps Trucking Kevin

[Dark One]

So are they putting Braun in the HoF next year?

[Dark One]

How the fuck is "Get These Hands" one of the loudest chants in weeks?

[ClockShot]

That was fun.

[Emperor Smeat]

For years Vince has tried desperately to get his big man fetish over with crowds and the one time it finally happens, he refuses to give the guy the mega star treatment.

Should just ditch the Reigns experiment and go all-in on Braun as Cena's successor instead.

[KIRA]

Sami Zayn's wife and kids are going to be devastated by the news

[Lock Jaw]

So are they putting Braun in the HoF next year?

Might as well

[Lock Jaw]

Baron Corbin next! Make sure to stick around for after the commercial!

[Dark One]

For years Vince has tried desperately to get his big man fetish over with crowds and the one time it finally happens, he refuses to give the guy the mega star treatment.

Should just ditch the Reigns experiment and go all-in on Braun as Cena's successor instead.

For real.

Anyone who can get "Get These Hands" over as a chant deserves every championship in the WWE. They're basically a perpetual money machine if they can get that over.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Welcome to StrowMania <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/GetTheseHands?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#GetTheseHands</a> <a href="https://t.co/klvmc8Gzdx">pic.twitter.com/klvmc8Gzdx</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/988601925586341888?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 24, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[KIRA]

Is that the entire women's division for raw

[slik]

Does STD still think Braun is a heel?

[rez]

For real.

Anyone who can get "Get These Hands" over as a chant deserves every championship in the WWE. They're basically a perpetual money machine if they can get that over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqBlhzNztic

[Dark One]

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Roman should hold the belt for nearly a year, Braun should win the Rumble, and they should have Part 83921 at Wrestlemania Snowmageddon in NY next year and have Braun FINALLY BE FINISHED with Reigns.

[Dark One]

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Roman should hold the belt for nearly a year, Braun should win the Rumble, and they should have Part 83921 at Wrestlemania Snowmageddon in NY next year and have Braun FINALLY BE FINISHED with Reigns.

At some point in this journey, Braun should probably start playing an American flag guitar while traveling from landmark to landmark on a motorcycle.

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at Booker having no clue what's going on with No Way Jose

[Dark One]

Any of you guys have a kid with a terminal disease that can wish for Braun Strowman to be all of the champions?

[Lock Jaw]

Nice @ braud in red dress

[rez]

The only thing I can imagine with Reigns is Bischoff is in Vince's ear finally fulfilling his destiny to destroy the empire.

[Dark One]

:lol: at Booker having no clue what's going on with No Way Jose

"TELL ME.... I DIDN'T JUST SEE THAT"

[Dark One]

"He loves to have fun!"

So how is he any different than everyone else on the roster

[Dark One]

Anyone know where I can buy that dude's taco hat?

[KIRA]

If there was ever a gimmick that said lifelong curtain jerker.....

[Lock Jaw]

Baron Corbin v worried about being assaulted by The Josebuds

[Savio]

:love: No way Jose loves to have fun :love:

[rez]

Jose sweats a lot...

[Emperor Smeat]

That might have been Corbin's best promo since .... well maybe ever.

Then again his anti-indie tirades in NXT was decent.

[Dark One]

Oh god

Vince is writing Baron Corbin's promos now that he's on Raw, isn't he?

God help us all.

[KIRA]

Oh Christ.

[Lock Jaw]

THERE IT IS

[owenbrown]

I knew that was gonna happen

[KIRA]

This.....gimmick...needs....to.....die

[rez]

That's the saddest looking group of individuals in a conga line I've ever witnessed.

[Lock Jaw]

Why didn't The Josebuds come to his defense?!

[Droford]

No Way Jose needs a tag team Partner

Hose B

[Dark One]

That's the saddest looking group of individuals in a conga line I've ever witnessed.

Listen, man. They've been out of work since Adam Rose stopped partying like two years ago.

TIMES HAVE BEEN TOUGH

[owenbrown]

Alexa :wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:

[KIRA]

,............... I love Alexa Bliss so much right now

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at this Moment of Bliss

[Lock Jaw]

Emotional music

[Dark One]

A+ promo

[Savio]

Damn, can't believe Nia did that :nono:

[KIRA]

Finn Balor and his fake inclusiveness

[Emperor Smeat]

Why didn't The Josebuds come to his defense?!

No Way Jose probably doesn't have enough money to pay them to dance and fight.

[rez]

I've never been to a WWE house show but I'd expect RAW tonight feels like a larger house show.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">&quot;Moment of Bliss&quot; has the potential to be the best WWE heel vignette since Randy Orton's RNN News updates. Truly hilarious. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; Alfred Konuwa (@ThisIsNasty) <a href="https://twitter.com/ThisIsNasty/status/988605827383619584?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 24, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[Emperor Smeat]

:y: Rollins wearing the IC belt and not just hoisting over his shoulder like almost everyone else does for belts.

[slik]

Has everything been a tag match tonight outside of Jinder/Gable?

[Emperor Smeat]

Has everything been a tag match tonight outside of Jinder/Gable?

Elias vs Roode also happened earlier.

[rez]

The Kingdom of St Louis, Misery is not entertained tonight.

[KIRA]

I really really want both the end up with his brother

[Dark One]

The Kingdom of St Louis, Misery is not entertained tonight.

I mean

This is kind of what I think we all expected after the way the draft fell, with an adjusted degree of difficulty since they're in a holding pattern for Friday.

[KIRA]

:y: Rollins wearing the IC belt and not just hoisting over his shoulder like almost everyone else does for belts.

Don't you love that?

[Savio]

:lol: at this Moment of Bliss

Aside from this the <s>last hour of raw</s> the entire show was pointless.

[rez]

I mean

This is kind of what I think we all expected after the way the draft fell, with an adjusted degree of difficulty since they're in a holding pattern for Friday.

The Kingdom of rez agrees with you

[KIRA]

Or I would love it if they had an angle where Dallas and axel try to hang out with Braun strowman and he just cant stand them and he's always coming ever so close to just annihilating them

[KIRA]

Making Nia jax soft humbe babyface might be the biggest mistake they made

[Lock Jaw]

Love Riott Squad theme..... so upbeat, positive, and catchy

[Emperor Smeat]

Don't you love that?

Yeup. Prefer it way more than the typical over the shoulder that WWE likes to do all the time for singles champs.

Besides Roode's brief US reign, Charlotte is the only one that usually wears it around her waist mainly because she wears a robe as part of her entrance.

[Dark One]

Bayley apparently turned heel on solar panels after last week's outfit.

[rez]

bayley has to have one of the more expensive entrances in the company.

[Lock Jaw]

Natalya has a better attitude!

[Lock Jaw]

IT'S BOSS TIME

[KIRA]

I'm going to laugh if they just totally forgot about the fact that bayley and Sasha are on the road to hating each other's guts and Bailey is beginning her bitter scowing heel turn

[rez]

here comes the big bully

[Dark One]

Based on that travel schedule, this time next week, WWE Superstars aren't going to even know what planet they're on any more.

[slik]

Alexa keeping her shirt on

[rez]

Sarah Logan is legit on the spectrum..

[KIRA]

It looks like Nia is leading children to the ring

[slik]

Isn't this the entire RAW women's division?

[KIRA]

They did a good job making Sarah Logan look like she hasn't bathed in Forever

[KIRA]

Isn't this the entire RAW women's division?

I asked the same thing earlier

[rez]

Ember Moon confuses me...not sure if I should be attracted to her or afraid

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

Ember Moon confuses me...not sure if I should be attracted to her or afraid

She adds inches to my penis.

[rez]

well then.

[owenbrown]

Is this the week Bayley turns heel?

[Emperor Smeat]

When USA Network or NBC had the idea to do the split screen thing, doubt they ever meant for WWE to do it for their own commercials.

Also a bit tone deaf to air the Saudi commercial during the Women's main event match considering none of the women stars are allowed at Friday's show.

[rez]

Is the GRR in the middle of the day Friday? I'll be sitting on ass at the airport.

[Frank Drebin]

When USA Network or NBC had the idea to do the split screen thing, doubt they ever meant for WWE to do it for their own commercials.

Also a bit tone deaf to air the Saudi commercial during the Women's main event match considering none of the women stars are allowed at Friday's show.

They're allowed as long as they sit in the correct section under the direct supervision of a male guardian.

[Droford]

Cannon balll

[rez]

I'd shooting star press into that group of bodies.

[Droford]

Uh oh

[KIRA]

Really

[Emperor Smeat]

This main event has been a mess the last few minutes.

[DAMN iNATOR]

So have Braun and Nia set a wedding date yet?

[Droford]

Jesus

[KIRA]

That's right it was all building up to Ronda Rousey

[rez]

How many weeks until Natty Kat turns on Ronda?

[Droford]

How many weeks until Natty Kat turns on Ronda?

That sounds like a summerslam match so..about 3 months

[KIRA]

Time to make Rhonda look strong which I don't actually have a problem with yet......

[slik]

I am 100% ok with Ronda Rousey vs Mickie James as Ronda's next feud

[Dark One]

That was definitely a show.

BUT

Tomorrow? D-BRY ON MIZ TV.

ALL ABORD THE HYPE TRAIN

http://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2014/45/1415474288-hypetrain.gif

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

Ronda v Natty. She just squashed Mickey

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at Ronda costing Natty's team the win.

Not sure what's funnier, Ronda's speed walk down the ramp or the main event being completely meaningless since it was all so Ronda could get crammed onto the show.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Arrive. Break arms. Leave.<br><br>Mickie, meet <a href="https://twitter.com/RondaRousey?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@RondaRousey</a>! <a href="https://t.co/baxTrtl9V9">pic.twitter.com/baxTrtl9V9</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/988615620869672960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 24, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[KIRA]

That was definitely a show.

BUT

Tomorrow? D-BRY ON MIZ TV.

ALL ABORD THE HYPE TRAIN

http://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2014/45/1415474288-hypetrain.gif

I absolutely cannot wait this is going to be pure gold

[Frank Drebin]

Tuned in to see Alexa be the next Nikki Bella. Guess it'll have to wait another 2-4 weeks.

[rez]

:lol: at Ronda costing Natty's team the win.

Not sure what's funnier, Ronda's speed walk down the ramp or the main event being completely meaningless since it was all so Ronda could get crammed onto the show.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kxu-MBDC_kI/maxresdefault.jpg

that girl is going to be walking like the undertaker if she doesn't slow down.

[Lock Jaw]

That was definitely a show.

BUT

Tomorrow? D-BRY ON MIZ TV.

ALL ABORD THE HYPE TRAIN

http://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2014/45/1415474288-hypetrain.gif

https://media.giphy.com/media/XXo6LQ3Ujyy2s/giphy.gif

[rez]

https://media.giphy.com/media/XXo6LQ3Ujyy2s/giphy.gif

I still have my 3D TV just to watch that movie in 3D. :drool:

[Lock Jaw]

Tuned in to see Alexa be the next Nikki Bella. Guess it'll have to wait another 2-4 weeks.

Here I thought you tuned in because it was BOSS TIME

[Nark Order]

I love that they are just outright ignoring that there are no women on the GRR card.

[Nark Order]

Women's revolution, everybody.

[Mr. Nerfect]

I heard Chad Gable had Jinder Mahal's best match outside AJ Styles. Hasn't been doing this for 4 years yet. Mahal has been doing it for 14. They're going to do their best to make fun of Gable for being little, brush over him being an Olympian, etc., but he's going to get more and more over because he's a fucking machine and built to do this better than most people.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Women's revolution, everybody.

If enough people actually believed that the WWE were doing more than exploitative PR with their women athletes, they'd get so much shit for it.

Darren Young made a ballsy tweet a few years ago about not supporting a Saudi tour because of how they treat women and gay people. It's a shame he fucking sucks.

[KIRA]

I still have my 3D TV just to watch that movie in 3D. :drool:

Still want that guitar

[Triple A]

Fell asleep... but the last thing I remember was a backstage Sarah Logan promo...

Remember not being able to understand a single word that she said and felt like I was hallucinating...

[Mr. Nerfect]

Haha, what was with the promo that made it so unintelligible? I'm curious now.

[Simple Fan]

Probably her accent, I'm from Kentucky and her's is excessive.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Haha, I see. I think I might have to check out this and the Chad Gable match. Yes, I will actually actively seek out something involving Jinder Mahal.

[Triple A]

Was "slipping into sleep" so might have been that also... but def remember her talking for like 10 seconds and not understanding a single thing

[Mr. Nerfect]

Chad Gable is so fucking good. Just watched highlights from Raw. He makes you love him.

[Tom Guycott]

I am frustrated going through this booing the baby face shit again. Roman is really good I just don't get it. I mean I do get it but I think it's dumb and taking it out on Roman ruins the fun. Wrestling is supposed to be fun it's not your show it's everyone's show.

Their own fault. If they would have just turned the man heel when they were supposed to instead of continually trying to manufacture a babyface narrative at every turn when the fans clearly aren't buying it, they would have been able to turn him face again by now naturally and the people would have actually been salivating for it. At any point in history up to about 10-12 years ago, WWE would have done exactly that.

Now, it's about pushing a specific narrative for most of these guys even if that narrative flies in the face of the paying fans almost as if they've completely forgotten EVERYTHING that not only made them popular and successful to begin with, but made wrestling fans like wrestling.

Trying to overlook the popularity of DB, successfully overlooking the popularity of Cesaro when he was white hot, taking the interesting fresh heel of Bray Wyatt and jobbing him into a joke, turning Ascention into a joke, and assaulting everyone's senses with the constant, consistent, and unyielding putting over of Roman Reigns... all of those things are things the company (Vince) fucked up, and just a small part of an ever growing list.

Sucks for Roman, but WWE is reaping what they sowed. And if they want to salvage this in any way, if he is to get the crown soon, it should be a huge "fuck you!" heel turn moment and live up to all the venom spit at him, instead of continuing to try to force him to be the hero nobody wants.

[Tom Guycott]

Saw it. Not gonna replace the classic, but I do appreciate Impact leaning into the memes while becoming overall better.

-1 star for "Cracker Barrell." COME ON PETEY. EVERYONE KNOWS THE GENETIC FREAK ONLY GOES TO SHONEYS

Shouldn't be so harsh about the Cracker Barrel line; that was where Scotty drove Petey (apparently like a maniac) during the "Little Petey Pump" days. And supposedly stuck him with the bill. If you can call back two Scott Steiner moments into one promo, that should at least come out to be +1 star right there.

[Tom Guycott]

What did they do to Drew McIntyre's theme now......

Apparently, stripped out the guitar and the electronic drums, double recorded the bagpipes, and made it sound like a preliminary production version of the song that they'd start with and build from.

[Tom Guycott]

"Very powerful despite being 5'8" and 202 pounds."

Oh god. Chad Gable's going to end up in 205 Live before the year's done.

:|

[Tom Guycott]

I really want King of Dickpunch Shinsuke Nakamura to finally get the WWE Championship.... but I also want to see Samoa Joe maul AJ Styles for like 35 minutes to win the title...

Speaking of Mr Puncher of the Nads, apparently AJ Styles got nailed in the nuts again by Nakamura at a recent house show.

At this point it's on AJ for not wearing a cup

https://s9.postimg.cc/fx8gf13m7/Cocknockamura.jpg

[Tom Guycott]

For years Vince has tried desperately to get his big man fetish over with crowds and the one time it finally happens, he refuses to give the guy the mega star treatment.

Should just ditch the Reigns experiment and go all-in on Braun as Cena's successor instead.

I would almost 100% agree if it weren't for him still being a bit green at times (the stiffing of Lesnar prob'ly didn't help his case). I'd say Im about 97% in your camp. Speaking of green...


They shouldn't let Logan talk

She should just stand around and look pr- uh- stand around and look intimid- uh, she should just stand around and look like the third woman to pad their numbers.


Also, where the hell did that promo come from in Baron Corbin? Better than most things he's ever done, live or canned.

[Tom Guycott]

Moment of Bliss was almost on par with Matt Hardy's Anti-Bullying video against Kevin (Owens). Will be better if it becomes an ongoing thing.

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

Look at a Roman Reigns promo, then look at a Steve Austin promo, Fragile X. Then you'll understand why the fans are booing him. I like the guy, but no emotion or passion. He goes out there and says blatantly scripted bullshit LIKE it's blatantly scripted. There's no evolution in his character. His storylines are boring and he is boring. The "company line" is to say fans hate him for no reason, but they don't. He is presented poorly and there is nothing about his character beyond him being "pretty good" and handsome that you can actually sink your teeth into. It's 2018, people need more than what Roman brings to the table.

Conversely, I heard McIntyre cut a killer promo lastnight, and you best bet it was as scripted if not MORE scripted than anything Reigns has had to do.

[Frank Drebin]

"Brock didn't show up to work. Amirite?"

Cutting edge face promo.

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

Yeah, nobody wants to deal with self-referential bullshit with the company.

How about he acknowledges that many of the fans haven't accepted him and he promises night in and night out to earn their respect? Hell, how about he shows frustration over it (storyline wise) but maintains his morals and principles because even when everyone's against him he's strong enough to stand up for what he believes in. No. They won't do that. Instead they'll hamfist inorganic storylines with promos that have about as much feeling as my dick after 4 hours on Clips4sale.

[Big Vic]

Agreed.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Nia Jax is a bully. She once ate a Bacon Cheeseburger in front of Larry-Steve.

[Innovator]

Dolph could be the biggest wet blanket going

[Cool King]

I'll probably go "grunt counting" when I watch Raw and report back with the numbers.

13.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Is the GRR in the middle of the day Friday? I'll be sitting on ass at the airport.

Yes, noon Eastern time.

[Dark One]

13.

13? That ain't shit.

I had a guy say "y'know" literally 97 times in a 30 minute interview.

Drunk Uncle Booker grunting anything less than 30 times is stunning.

[Fignuts]

Did Jinder actually say "I thought mini me passed away" to chad gable? Read it in the results but didn't see anyone comment on it.

[Big Vic]

He did, and that is how I learned that 'Mini-me' died.

[Cool King]

13? That ain't shit.

I had a guy say "y'know" literally 97 times in a 30 minute interview.

Drunk Uncle Booker grunting anything less than 30 times is stunning.

I was surprised at 13 myself.

Usually the number is so much higher.

[Cool King]

I guess I can always do a count as I watch The Greatest Royal Rumble.