TNA-NWA Impact Captions (06/04/04)

[FourFifty]

NWA-TNA (Impact 06/04/04)

Why should we just poke fun at the WWE? Seems NWA-TNA has some pics up from impact… It’s not much, but hey, it’s a caption fix…. By God I’m a junkie!

I mean, Holy Damn! When you go to the part of the site that has pics, you have to open the full size pic in another window where the HTML is set up so you can’t freakin’ get a URL for the pic…

But then again, every file you view goes on your hard drive with a URL…
Here’s an example.
http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/small/01.jpg
<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/small/01.jpg>
http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg
<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg>

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/gallery.html
That link will take you to the gallery.


And people called me a fool for ordering McGyver on DVD… fools they called me… Well, they’re right, but for other reasons.

Now… Let’s begin the FRIST NWA-TNA CAPTIONS!!!
<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg>
You know UFC’s ownership changed to a pansy when the steel cage is replaced by foam.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg>
Jeff Jarrett: For the last time, NO, I am not here from “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” to make you two over!

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/03.jpg>
With NWA-TNA getting their own show that’s not on PPV, Vince McMahon decides to be a little more realistic with the exits in the locker rooms.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg>
The small TNA roster has called for wrestlers to start attacking themselves instead of other people running in during promos. By luck B.G. James was able to block the attack.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/05.jpg>
The group of smarks set out bait so they can capture Evolution.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/06.jpg>
The whole “You talkin’ to me” bit is a little more impressive when you’re not dressed up like a wrestler who makes his living off of biting people on the ass…

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/07.jpg>
Dude in front: No! There is no one behind me! I refuse to believe it!

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg>
Rhodes: And I swear the sammich was THIS BIG!

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/09.jpg>
Jeff “The One Man Boy Band” Jarrett gave the fans a little treat before the show…
Jeff <I>*singing*</I>: I can’t get you outta my heart! I knew I was in trouble right from the start!

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/10.jpg>
You know that someone in the ring has a drinking problem when the bud vender in the crowd is getting saluted.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/11.jpg>
You! In the front row! That’s right! You little dork with the Eugene shirt on…. YOU’RE A HOMO!

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/12.jpg>
Once you notice the stench yourself you realize you should have switched deodorants a looooong time ago.

[Savio]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/05.jpg
These are the bad boys of the olympic ice sport curling.

[Corkscrewed]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/12.jpg
Despite the little time he had spent with the WWE, Ron Killings had picked up a few pointers from the Undertaker and Triple H, and was thus able to no-sell the blatant low blow from Thing.

[Vega]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/12.jpg
GETTIN' ROWDY! GONNA MOVE SOME THINGS!

...

oh shit, wrong gimmick.

[El Santo]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg

Dusty was confused. He saw the white robes. He saw the halo. But for some reason, he wasn't buying Jarrett's new guardian angel gimmick.

[Corkscrewed]

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg>
You can't blame people for not showing up; the fans got confused and thought this was just a WWE house show.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg>
The show was interrupted when Rikishi crashed a flying locomotive into the ring for The Rock.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/03.jpg>
During the moving process, the IMPACT sign was unfortunately damaged by one of WWE's falling ratings.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg>
In a thrilling match, B. G. James's left hand was able to pick up the victory by signalling paper to his right hand's rock.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/05.jpg>
"If we could be serious for a moment..."

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/06.jpg>
Tension mounted as Bomb-omb Man called out Mario and Luigi.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/07.jpg>
It was a picture perfect rendition of the Y-X-C-A.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg>
There was a certain sense of irony in Dusty's making fun of JR's gluttony.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/09.jpg>
Jeff Jarret takes explosive farting to a whole new level.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/10.jpg>
Now was not the time for the ref to be playing the Amazing Karnac.

[FourFifty]

Someone get Kane Knight's ass over here. I love his captions.

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg>
James: Oh man! I am so happy! Ya know that one dude that was the ECW champ when ECW went under? Well, he's backstage, and he shook my hand! I mean it was great! <i>*uhhhhhh*</i> Why are my hands stuck?

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/09.jpg>
Jeff: Ya'll might wanna wait a while before you go in there... had Mexian for lunch.

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg>
Gotta love the dude in the grey tank top in the lower lefthand part of the pic... He had enough class to turn his head and throw up after Rhodes said "I'm gonna play with my boobies!"

<img src=http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg>
James: Billy, if you're out there... could you please give me back my heat? That is, if you didn't lose enough heat for two people.

[PorkSoda]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg

JJ: I don't know where you come from, but if you want the chicken wings you have to work for them.
Dusty Rhodes: You want em wings? I'll buy yee tha chicken wangs!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg

"I'm up every afternoon in the summer, standing in front of my house waiting for the ice cream man. And when he gets here.......POW!"

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg

Dusty: And then my brother had to bard my pickup truck and I bard his shotgun, took a rental car and I was gone for munts. I got into the car and say "Gawd, thank I'll have a baar" and went outside, shot some deer, went inside and ate that deer!
Man: I hope you stored enough room for your wife.
Dusty: Oh, I deed!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/09.jpg

This was the longest American Idol entrance ever.

[El Santo]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/10.jpg

You know they're ripping off WWE storylines when they have the cousin of Shawn Michaels trying to hold down a guy currently residing in Georgia.

[Savio]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/06.jpg
Fed up with Mega man Bubbleman decides to make a wrestling career

[Xero]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/05.jpg
Batista (Left), Jericho (Center), and Nunzio (Right) decide to form the new Team Canada...

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg
Jarrett: Are you listening to me!?
Dusty (Thinking): Mmmm... He sher looks yummy...

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg
FEED MAH!

[HankScorpio]

LMAO, Oh lord how I've missed the captions :rofl: :rofl:

[Kane Knight]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg

...And the first example of Nonstop action...

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg

Jared was outraged...He wanted JBL in TNA, but man, had he let himself go

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/03.jpg
TNA's first mistake was letting immigrants witha poor grasp of English make the "warning" signs.

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg

B.G. Demonstrates how the first ever "Hardcore Paper-Rock-Scissors" match will go.


http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/05.jpg

Team Canada tries to prove Canadians aren't gay by dressing as ridiculously as possible.

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/06.jpg

"Hey, if Rey Rey can dress like Flash and Spider-Man, and Hurricane can dress like Green Lantern, why CAN'T I wear my sushi-lad costume to the ring?


http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/07.jpg

Vin Deisel and Kid Rock soon regretted signing their cross-promotion deal...

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg

Who knew the NWA dental plan could actually be WORSE than the WWE's?
http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/09.jpg
Unwilling to be upstaged by Triple H, Jeff too signs a movie deal, starting with a remake of Saturday Night Fever.
http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/10.jpg

"So then the Undertaker comes out, and Booker T was all..."

"Hey man, don't spoil it for me!"

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/11.jpg

Goldberg refused to appear on NWA, but at least he was willing to license his character out...

...Moment's later, Goldberg light slipped, KO'ing himself on a turnbuckle.


http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/12.jpg
In a tribute to Booker T, Killings refers to himself as a "No time! no Time! no Time" Champion.

[Kane Knight]

I've got to get around to the Smackdown caps, too.

[loopydate]

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg

DUSTY: (before the show) Okee, Ignmiketenay, I unnaSTAYUN why we cowl it da squayed sircoifyouweeoh. Idnit gon' be trickah ta say hexagomonolicalcircle?
TENAY: Whatever you just asked? Um...yeah.

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/02.jpg

JEFF: Okay, Dusty, I'm sorry to keep having to come out here and correct you, but this is T. N. A. So would you please stop calling it "dubyaseedubyawaydabigboahsplay?"
DUSTY: Dey be clubberin', Tony!
TENAY: I'm Mike.
JEFF: (muttering) Slapnuts...

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/03.jpg

Meanwhile, in WWE Land, Tyson Tomko was pissed off about the constant reminders about what his foot is supposed to do.

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/04.jpg

B.G. James was the king of getting crowd pops, but his shadow-puppetry skills left a lot to be desired.

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/05.jpg

Eric Young's gaze was drawn to Sheila Broflovski sitting ten rows back. That Eric kid was right. She was the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. After all, she kept blaming Canada!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/06.jpg

...and now we know why "Deep Blue Sea" Halloween costumes weren't hot sellers.

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/07.jpg

Team Sexy makes its TNA return after the horrible accident that claimed the lives of "S" and "E."

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/08.jpg

DUSTY: Ignmiketenay, Ah bet Ah cud swalla dis mikerafone whole, ifyouweeoh!
KID IN GRAY TANKTOP: Dude, JR really let himself go!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/09.jpg

JEFF: Golly, B.G., you're right! This guitar does make a bitchin' bong!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/10.jpg

STYLES: Mike, I swear to God, I do NOT know where your smile is!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/11.jpg

AJ Styles had discovered Lollipop's (a.k.a. "TNA's Stevie Richards") terrible secret. And he liked it!

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/12.jpg

Clearly, despite Col. Jessup's claims to the contrary, the fan reaching into the ring could "handle the truth."

[JT]

Kane Knight...Ron Killings was the 2nd TNA World Champion. :-\

[Kane Knight]

Kane Knight...Ron Killings was the 2nd TNA World Champion. :-\\

Yeah, except:


That wouldn't work with the joke that sprung to mind
He has 0 fingers up in the air
How many times was he the WCW champion? :shifty:
These are supposed to be humourous captions. Sean O'Haire really isn't in a cage, NWA probably doesn't have dental (;)), Eddie is not the illegal immigrant tile holder. The invisible crucifix and glass ceiling don't exist (not in the form that gets captioned, anyway).
Most importantly, it's humour. :p

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO at Santo's HBK/Benoit spoof and KK's 0-time champ!

[Wondermouse]

loopy and Santo owned these.

[CBright7831]

Wait a second, I don't remember Ron Killings werestling on the show. He came out and saved Dusty, and I thought that was it.