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Old 06-05-2004, 03:04 AM   #1
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TNA-NWA Impact Captions (06/04/04)
NWA-TNA (Impact 06/04/04)

Why should we just poke fun at the WWE? Seems NWA-TNA has some pics up from impact… It’s not much, but hey, it’s a caption fix…. By God I’m a junkie!

I mean, Holy Damn! When you go to the part of the site that has pics, you have to open the full size pic in another window where the HTML is set up so you can’t freakin’ get a URL for the pic…

But then again, every file you view goes on your hard drive with a URL…
Here’s an example.
http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/small/01.jpg

http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/large/01.jpg


http://www.nwatna.com/impact/pics/6/4/gallery.html
That link will take you to the gallery.


And people called me a fool for ordering McGyver on DVD… fools they called me… Well, they’re right, but for other reasons.

Now… Let’s begin the FRIST NWA-TNA CAPTIONS!!!

You know UFC’s ownership changed to a pansy when the steel cage is replaced by foam.


Jeff Jarrett: For the last time, NO, I am not here from “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” to make you two over!


With NWA-TNA getting their own show that’s not on PPV, Vince McMahon decides to be a little more realistic with the exits in the locker rooms.


The small TNA roster has called for wrestlers to start attacking themselves instead of other people running in during promos. By luck B.G. James was able to block the attack.


The group of smarks set out bait so they can capture Evolution.


The whole “You talkin’ to me” bit is a little more impressive when you’re not dressed up like a wrestler who makes his living off of biting people on the ass…


Dude in front: No! There is no one behind me! I refuse to believe it!


Rhodes: And I swear the sammich was THIS BIG!


Jeff “The One Man Boy Band” Jarrett gave the fans a little treat before the show…
Jeff *singing*: I can’t get you outta my heart! I knew I was in trouble right from the start!


You know that someone in the ring has a drinking problem when the bud vender in the crowd is getting saluted.


You! In the front row! That’s right! You little dork with the Eugene shirt on…. YOU’RE A HOMO!


Once you notice the stench yourself you realize you should have switched deodorants a looooong time ago.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PapaGeorgio View Post
This is really a two part questions, I AM ON TO YOU. One, there is no god, but rather gods. As for the second part assuming there is a loving god out there as stated in your first part. Children get cancer out of love. Cancer is a creation of god, and he loves cancer. Children are a creation of god, and he loves children. Thus children with cancer are people he really love.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:10 AM   #2
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These are the bad boys of the olympic ice sport curling.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:11 AM   #3
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Despite the little time he had spent with the WWE, Ron Killings had picked up a few pointers from the Undertaker and Triple H, and was thus able to no-sell the blatant low blow from Thing.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:12 AM   #4
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GETTIN' ROWDY! GONNA MOVE SOME THINGS!

...

oh shit, wrong gimmick.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:26 AM   #5
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Dusty was confused. He saw the white robes. He saw the halo. But for some reason, he wasn't buying Jarrett's new guardian angel gimmick.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:28 AM   #6
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You can't blame people for not showing up; the fans got confused and thought this was just a WWE house show.


The show was interrupted when Rikishi crashed a flying locomotive into the ring for The Rock.


During the moving process, the IMPACT sign was unfortunately damaged by one of WWE's falling ratings.


In a thrilling match, B. G. James's left hand was able to pick up the victory by signalling paper to his right hand's rock.


"If we could be serious for a moment..."


Tension mounted as Bomb-omb Man called out Mario and Luigi.


It was a picture perfect rendition of the Y-X-C-A.


There was a certain sense of irony in Dusty's making fun of JR's gluttony.


Jeff Jarret takes explosive farting to a whole new level.


Now was not the time for the ref to be playing the Amazing Karnac.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:29 AM   #7
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Someone get Kane Knight's ass over here. I love his captions.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:35 AM   #8
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James: Oh man! I am so happy! Ya know that one dude that was the ECW champ when ECW went under? Well, he's backstage, and he shook my hand! I mean it was great! *uhhhhhh* Why are my hands stuck?


Jeff: Ya'll might wanna wait a while before you go in there... had Mexian for lunch.


Gotta love the dude in the grey tank top in the lower lefthand part of the pic... He had enough class to turn his head and throw up after Rhodes said "I'm gonna play with my boobies!"


James: Billy, if you're out there... could you please give me back my heat? That is, if you didn't lose enough heat for two people.
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Old 06-05-2004, 07:47 AM   #9
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JJ: I don't know where you come from, but if you want the chicken wings you have to work for them.
Dusty Rhodes: You want em wings? I'll buy yee tha chicken wangs!



"I'm up every afternoon in the summer, standing in front of my house waiting for the ice cream man. And when he gets here.......POW!"



Dusty: And then my brother had to bard my pickup truck and I bard his shotgun, took a rental car and I was gone for munts. I got into the car and say "Gawd, thank I'll have a baar" and went outside, shot some deer, went inside and ate that deer!
Man: I hope you stored enough room for your wife.
Dusty: Oh, I deed!



This was the longest American Idol entrance ever.
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Old 06-05-2004, 11:41 AM   #10
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You know they're ripping off WWE storylines when they have the cousin of Shawn Michaels trying to hold down a guy currently residing in Georgia.
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Old 06-05-2004, 11:45 AM   #11
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Fed up with Mega man Bubbleman decides to make a wrestling career
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Old 06-05-2004, 01:08 PM   #12
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Batista (Left), Jericho (Center), and Nunzio (Right) decide to form the new Team Canada...


Jarrett: Are you listening to me!?
Dusty (Thinking): Mmmm... He sher looks yummy...


FEED MAH!
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Old 06-05-2004, 01:50 PM   #13
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LMAO, Oh lord how I've missed the captions

What a glorious waste of time.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:58 PM   #14
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...And the first example of Nonstop action...



Jared was outraged...He wanted JBL in TNA, but man, had he let himself go


TNA's first mistake was letting immigrants witha poor grasp of English make the "warning" signs.



B.G. Demonstrates how the first ever "Hardcore Paper-Rock-Scissors" match will go.




Team Canada tries to prove Canadians aren't gay by dressing as ridiculously as possible.



"Hey, if Rey Rey can dress like Flash and Spider-Man, and Hurricane can dress like Green Lantern, why CAN'T I wear my sushi-lad costume to the ring?




Vin Deisel and Kid Rock soon regretted signing their cross-promotion deal...



Who knew the NWA dental plan could actually be WORSE than the WWE's?

Unwilling to be upstaged by Triple H, Jeff too signs a movie deal, starting with a remake of Saturday Night Fever.


"So then the Undertaker comes out, and Booker T was all..."

"Hey man, don't spoil it for me!"



Goldberg refused to appear on NWA, but at least he was willing to license his character out...

...Moment's later, Goldberg light slipped, KO'ing himself on a turnbuckle.



In a tribute to Booker T, Killings refers to himself as a "No time! no Time! no Time" Champion.
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:58 PM   #15
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I've got to get around to the Smackdown caps, too.
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Old 06-05-2004, 05:40 PM   #16
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DUSTY: (before the show) Okee, Ignmiketenay, I unnaSTAYUN why we cowl it da squayed sircoifyouweeoh. Idnit gon' be trickah ta say hexagomonolicalcircle?
TENAY: Whatever you just asked? Um...yeah.



JEFF: Okay, Dusty, I'm sorry to keep having to come out here and correct you, but this is T. N. A. So would you please stop calling it "dubyaseedubyawaydabigboahsplay?"
DUSTY: Dey be clubberin', Tony!
TENAY: I'm Mike.
JEFF: (muttering) Slapnuts...



Meanwhile, in WWE Land, Tyson Tomko was pissed off about the constant reminders about what his foot is supposed to do.



B.G. James was the king of getting crowd pops, but his shadow-puppetry skills left a lot to be desired.



Eric Young's gaze was drawn to Sheila Broflovski sitting ten rows back. That Eric kid was right. She was the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. After all, she kept blaming Canada!



...and now we know why "Deep Blue Sea" Halloween costumes weren't hot sellers.



Team Sexy makes its TNA return after the horrible accident that claimed the lives of "S" and "E."



DUSTY: Ignmiketenay, Ah bet Ah cud swalla dis mikerafone whole, ifyouweeoh!
KID IN GRAY TANKTOP: Dude, JR really let himself go!



JEFF: Golly, B.G., you're right! This guitar does make a bitchin' bong!



STYLES: Mike, I swear to God, I do NOT know where your smile is!



AJ Styles had discovered Lollipop's (a.k.a. "TNA's Stevie Richards") terrible secret. And he liked it!



Clearly, despite Col. Jessup's claims to the contrary, the fan reaching into the ring could "handle the truth."
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Old 06-05-2004, 06:29 PM   #17
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Kane Knight...Ron Killings was the 2nd TNA World Champion.
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Old 06-05-2004, 10:01 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JT Kool
Kane Knight...Ron Killings was the 2nd TNA World Champion.
\

Yeah, except:
  1. That wouldn't work with the joke that sprung to mind
  2. He has 0 fingers up in the air
  3. How many times was he the WCW champion?
  4. These are supposed to be humourous captions. Sean O'Haire really isn't in a cage, NWA probably doesn't have dental (), Eddie is not the illegal immigrant tile holder. The invisible crucifix and glass ceiling don't exist (not in the form that gets captioned, anyway).
Most importantly, it's humour.
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Old 06-06-2004, 04:43 AM   #19
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LMAO at Santo's HBK/Benoit spoof and KK's 0-time champ!
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Old 06-06-2004, 05:53 AM   #20
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loopy and Santo owned these.
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Old 06-06-2004, 06:14 AM   #21
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Wait a second, I don't remember Ron Killings werestling on the show. He came out and saved Dusty, and I thought that was it.
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