RAW Captions Thread (12/29/03)

[Azriel]

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http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/09.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/10.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/11.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/12.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/13.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/14.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/15.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/16.jpg
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http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/18.jpg
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http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/20.jpg
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http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/25.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/26.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/27.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/28.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/29.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/30.jpg

[Azriel]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/01.jpg
Much to Orton's chagrin, Lillian avoided the temptation to stare at Randy's ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/02.jpg
Unfortunately for Scott, his reenactment of the chest-ripping scene from Alien wasn't met with much approval.

[The Naitch]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/06.jpg

-Ric Flairs' version of the People's Elbow doesn't sit too well with the people

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/22.jpg

HHH: God I look hidious

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/21.jpg

HBK: I put the K in Kamasutra, boyeee!

HHH: Well I put the H in homo-erotic!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg

HHH: You don't mind if Ric joins us?
HBK: No I don't mind...I like Ric

[Azriel]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg

HHH was a bit confused because he thought this was a tag match

[tuk420]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/02.jpg
The crowd was stunned as a tiny muscle-bound man popped out of RVD's ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/04.jpg
Vince felt a sudden sinking feeling, as he realized why Coach thought they should share a hotel room "to save money."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/06.jpg
No my friend, I'll shoot YOU in the ass!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/07.jpg
Batista was confused, wasn't Ric usually on his knees when he made that face?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/08.jpg
Terri: HO HO HO
Trish/Lita/Stacy: Wha....HEY!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/14.jpg
Trish: But I didn't get you anything.
Y2J: The cleavage shot is thanks enough.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/15.jpg
At this precise moment all the men sitting in row 1A, knew they were not getting up to cheer anytime soon.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/17.jpg
An embarassed Lita realizes that her tail has popped out of her tights.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/19.jpg
God I love the holidays.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/21.jpg
After easily sucking HBK's head up his ass, HHH knew the shoulders would be the hardest part.

[Azriel]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/04.jpg

Coach was about to do a "you're a homo" joke, but retracted when he realized who he was talking to.

[tuk420]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg
You know, Flair's run-ins have become less entertaining now that he has to be helped into the ring.

[loopydate]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/01.jpg

LILIAN: That's right, folks, Ortonbot V2.0 is the perfect addition to ANY New Year's party! His bent right arm is perfect for cradling dip.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/02.jpg

Steiner and RVD show how Peter Jackson did that whole "forced perspective" thing for the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/03.jpg

The look on Steiner's face says it all. This diving headbutt was not going to end well.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/04.jpg

With Coach backing him up on the human beatbox, Vince busted out some phat rhymes. Somewhere, John Cena wept.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/05.jpg

BUBBA: Did you break out of prison?
RIC: No, no, no. Look at the stripes. Horizontal means prisoner, vertical means referee!
BUBBA: Whoops, then sorry I called the cops on you.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/06.jpg

With the heat on, Flair managed a pretty speedy escape for an old guy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/07.jpg

BATISTA: No! Throw the grapes in his MOUTH, ya freakin' moron!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/08.jpg

Terri reacts to Trish's beautiful man-voice.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/09.jpg

REF: Watch yourself, Shaniqua. You may have escaped from SmackDown, but Triple H will NEVER let you go over his boy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/10.jpg

Randy Orton: Master of 1,000 Impressions strikes again. His Jack Nicholson was always a hit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/11.jpg

Booker T shows the ill effects of having had his lip disced.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/12.jpg

Kane had impeccable aim. When he spiked people, they ALWAYS hit the WWE logo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/13.jpg

Linda's a cappella operatic aria was met with slightly less enthusiasm.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/14.jpg

Y2J: Okay, here's the clears throat special present.
TRISH: Ooh! Does this one vibrate?
Y2J: Shhhhhhh!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/15.jpg

Molly had made her decision. To become the most popular diva on RAW, she'd have to hit the others where it hurts. She begins by devouring Stacy's legs.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/16.jpg

Victoria thinks it's gross, but Jackie gets a sick pleasure out of it. Of course, she also hangs out with Rico, so...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/17.jpg

Lita looks up in embarassment. When did that crowd show up?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/18.jpg

Molly next tried to move on to Trish's breasts, but they just overpowered her.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/19.jpg

Take a guess where those white stains on Trish's clothes came from...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/20.jpg

Shawn looked up just in time to see a familiar transparent object starting to lower itself from the ceiling.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/21.jpg

He tried everything to hold it up.

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But only one could rise above it.

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When the glass ceiling mysteriously raised itself back up, Triple H knew that he would have to take out Michaels the old-fashioned way. If Steve Blackman was, in fact, back, he would have to take out the threat at hand first.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg

That Triple H is so nice. He takes time out of his matches to help old men cross the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/25.jpg

EARL: That's right. Now, Hunter, I want you to turn to the camera and lick your lips. Got it? Beautiful.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/26.jpg

To round out WWE Authority Figures Open Mic Night, Eric Bischoff stuns the crowd with a pitch-perfect rendition of "Let's Hear It For The Boy."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/27.jpg

BISCHOFF: So, wait, let me see if I got this straight. The black sheep had THREE bags?
MICHAELS: That's right.
BISCHOFF: What the hell did the little boy who lives down the lane do to deserve a bag of wool?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/28.jpg

If you play this replay backwards, you get a subliminal message. On an unrelated topic, I just enlisted in the Army.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/29.jpg

Once again, sitting at home, loopydate begs Kane to come out and set off his pyro.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/30.jpg

AUSTIN: Where's DX? I got something to drop on their bus!
JR: Bah Gawd!
KING: It's not 2000 anymore...

[Innovator]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/02.jpg

RVD lays still, Steiner can only see people if they move

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/30.jpg

Having enough of Austin and his shenanegins, the WWE logo and his partner WWE microphone lay a beating on Stone Cold

[ilt_undertaker]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg
You know, Flair's run-ins have become less entertaining now that he has to be helped into the ring.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:( (because the joke was about Ric)

[ColdwaVer]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/01.jpg
Orton stares off into the crowd as Lilian attempts to help him save money on his car insurance.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/02.jpg
Always with the fans in mind, RVD kicks the cameraman in the face so we don't have to watch another Steiner pec shot.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/03.jpg
Steiner's pushups are interrupted by a flasher at ringside.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/04.jpg
Vince scoffs at Coach's idea to let him sing all the entrance themes.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/05.jpg
Flair is indignant at Bubba Ray's insistance that he is stealing Foley's gimmick.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/06.jpg
Flair refuses to disqualify the newcomer for masturbating in the ring.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/07.jpg
In fact, he encourages Batista to follow his example.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/09.jpg
"I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance, sucka!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/10.jpg
Orton displays his ignorance of the correct administration of the Heimlick Maneuver.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/11.jpg
"Hey! He stole my push!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/12.jpg
Kane's tryout for the 2004 Olympic shot put team was impressive.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/13.jpg
Coach: Well if I can't sing the entrance themes, can I at least do a new theme song for the show?"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/14.jpg
"Trish, I just want you to know, you've got dandruff all over your shirt."
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/20.jpg
The new mutated "Triple HBK" didn't go over well with the fans.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/21.jpg
Michaels' new career: invasive proctology.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/22.jpg
HHH refuses to job to his own hair.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/23.jpg
...or even HBK's.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg
Flair attempts to seperate the conjoined HHHBK.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/25.jpg
WWE's new marketing campagin: Hardcore Footsies.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/26.jpg
Eric Bischoff: Scoutmaster
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/27.jpg
"We don't tolerate man-boobs around here!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/28.jpg
Tired of the catch phrase "break the walls down," Jericho decides instead to close the walls in on all those who would hold him down.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/29.jpg
Austin had gone unseen in his camouflage, but was spotted by the light shining off his bald head.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/30.jpg
"My god man, put that back in your pants!"

[Vastardikai]

Time for some crappy captions. Are you ready? Oh well, I'm starting anyway!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/01.jpg

Standing in the Ring, Orton realizes that someone put too much starch in his pants.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/03.jpg

Steiner attempts to put RVD away with Mileena's Suck and Spit Fatality

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/04.jpg

Vince has gone from the Billionaire owner of a Fortune 500 Company to being the victim of a "Pull My Finger" Gag. How the Mighty have fallen...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/05.jpg

Bubba: Referee's shouldn't wear khaki pants.

Ric: And you shouldn't wear shorts either, Chicken Legs!

Bubba: What do you mean I have Chicken Legs?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/06.jpg

Ric suddenly asks for a bucket as the Ex-Lax laced coffee kicks in: Mark Henry has finally gotten his revenge.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/07.jpg

Batista: What's a "FLA put SHIRT?"

The WWE Logo didn't know, either.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/08.jpg

The ladies found out that the rumors about Lance are true! (sorry, I had nothing, but for the most part, I try anyway!)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/09.jpg

Ref: why does he have that look on his face?

Booker: because he knows that he'll never job... DAMMIT!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/10.jpg

Booker T is in trouble until the Hand birthed by Mae Young makes the save.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/11.jpg

His jaw then drops when he realized that the Hand was actually Thing from the Adams Family.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/12.jpg

Stolen Joke Alert: Kane tries to help Booker T climb over the Glass Ceiling.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/13.jpg

Coach tries the joke again on Florence Henderson, who chides him for his immaturity.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/14.jpg

Trish: A gift for me! How Sweet, what is it?

Y2J: A gift certificate for Acting Lessons

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/15.jpg

The Ref shows some disappointment, as he's out of position to see if Stacy remembered her panties this time...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/16.jpg

Jackie laughs at the thought of Stacy forgetting her Panties until Victoria reminded her about her last nipple slip.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/17.jpg

There's a Monty Python song that goes along with this picture, but I can't remember which one... :naughty:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/18.jpg

The Ref is disappointed again, he ALWAYS misses the good panty shots...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/19.jpg

But when Trish offers him a chance Later tonight, his spirits rise.

or

The Ref points out the girl who he wants to marry to his Mother watching at home.

[Corkscrewed]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/01.jpg
The failure of the Ortonbot 2000 reduced it from complex interactive robot to world's most expensive paperweight ($5999 at wwweshopzone.com).

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/02.jpg
RVD, after drifting asea from an island where he was constantly being buried, emerged on a new island as... a GIANT!
(a good rep to anyone who possibly gets that allusion)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/03.jpg
Steiner was about to do another push up when suddenly, his muscles snapped, rendering him unable to go down.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/04.jpg
Coach (in Aussie accent): "Wow! This here's a real Vincentaurus McMahonasaurus! Check out its confused gaze as I touch it!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/05.jpg
Flair: "I won't tell anyone you look like a bumble bee if you don't tell anyone I look like a zebra!"
Bubba: "DEAL!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/06.jpg
Offstage: "Now, Ric, piroette... Good! Good! Congratulations! You're our new swan princess for next year's Christmas opera!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/07.jpg
Batista: "YOU WILL RESPECT THE SWAN PRINCESS!!!"
Flair: "Woooooooooo!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/08.jpg
At that moment, Terri realized she was a washed up old former diva who DEFINITELY couldn't cut it with the new crowd.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/09.jpg
Booker T found his new Ortonbot 2000 v.2 just as glitchy and freeze-prone as his original.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/10.jpg
More concerning was its tendency to attack and choke people while proclaiming in its stoic, robotic voice, "Hunter will be king."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/11.jpg
Offstage: "Hey Booker! Show your O face!"
Booker: "O... O... O..."
(pat yourself on the back if you get that one... it's easy)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/12.jpg
Kane was damned if he was gonna let Booker T be elevated above him!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/13.jpg
Coach: "The Lindamarion McMahonasaurus is known to be quite confused and stretch its neck in dismay as well!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/14.jpg
Y2J: "Hey Trish, for Christmas, I got you some of my ring ability and skill."
Trish: "Oh thanks! It's-- hey, what's that supposed to mean???"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/15.jpg
Stacy felt rather cold down there.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/16.jpg
Victoria: "I can't believe Stacy just posed for GGW!!!"
Jackie: "Yeah, but you get $5000 per public nudity exposure."
Victoria: "Really....?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/17.jpg
Lita: "Yeah, and $10,000 for public acts of sexual exhibitionism!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/18.jpg
Trish was pleasantly shocked. No cleavage shots in over two months and suddenly two in on night! This was amazing!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/19.jpg
The girls were ecstatic with relief, having won the first ever "loser has to sleep with Triple H" match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/20.jpg
Mid-match, Shawn looked up in the sky to see a flaming object hurtle towards the ground. Wait, was that his push?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/21.jpg
Michaels certainly had a way of being detailed with his prostate exams.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/22.jpg
Right about now, Triple H could sure go for some of Edge's Japanese hair shampoo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/23.jpg
At the prospect of Triple H locked in an extended feud with his friend Shawn Michaels, the system glitched, Hunter's left arm morphed into Michael's face, and the first Matrix crashed.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/24.jpg
Triple H uses Michaels as leverage when an old man tries to pull him down into the lulls of decrepid midcard hell.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/25.jpg
Just one more push and HBK's birth of a fully grown Triple H was a healthy success.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/26.jpg
When Bischoff started singing the Barney "I Love You" song, Shawn Michaels got the heck out of there, lest he be like Triple H, who was already knocked out.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/27.jpg
It was a hard decision for Shawn to make, pull the finger and get a push, or DON'T pull the figure and face the consequences...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/28.jpg
On really hot and passionate nights, both men would end up exhausted after hours of heated love.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/29.jpg
Suddenly, Rikishi crashed through the top of the Titantron, aimed straight at Stone Cold as part of the WWE writer's attempt to repeat history and garner higher ratings.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/122903/images/30.jpg
Austin: "Wait, 'kish... so you did it for... The Brock???"