wow [1 night in chyna trailor]

[V]

http://www.avn.com/index.php?Primary_Navigation=Multimedia&Action=View_Trailer&Content_ID=207655

no comment.

thought i'd give the topic more of a description... also.. those of you brave enough can watch the trailor, no way in hell i'm watching that

[Joe Kerr]

56 min? 55 floor play

[Joe Kerr]

"When she first enters the frame, ensconced in something “sexy” and looking to tease, it harkens back to those nightmare moments where you’re slightly drunk in a room, waiting to see what it is you really seduced, and out comes someone who makes you wonder, Is it a man, a she-male—and most importantly, what the hell is that bulge between its legs and what are its plans for me?! Yikes!"


ROFL :rofl: :rofl:

[McLegend]

:nono:

[DaveWadding]

LOL @ the summary

[V]

yeah i edited my first post to include that they actually have a trailor up... scaarrry

[Shadow]

I am not clicking that.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Ok, someone watch it. Kevin would, but he's scared.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

I nominate FUnky to watch it. He has big balls afterall... Anyway, what's the worst thing that can happen, Chyna materialized through your TV and kills you?

[Splaya]

I will take one for the team :nono:

[Mayo]

LOL I watched the trailer, its nothing special really. I don't see why you guys are making such a big deal about it. I mean yeah, its Chyna, but it could be a LOT worse.

[Splaya]

Yeah it is nothing

[Mayo]

OMG SPLAYA YOU ARE GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[V]

Mayo = ratings

[Shaggy]

Almost looks like it could of been made up. But sadly as we know it wasnt. I have already said that I would go ahead and watch it on the other post of this. Hopefully my eyes wont burn out during it.

[McLegend]

I have to say that is the worst trailer for a porn I have ever seen. That trailer makes me not wanna see this.

I mean come on the sex tape is obivously gonna suck so they could of at least made a decent trailer to the sell the damn thing.

[KingofOldSchool]

Hey let's look on the bright side...school's now have something they can show teens to prevent them from having sex.

"See kids, this is what sex looks like."

*shows Chyna and X-Pac going at it*

*Teenage sex rate drops at a dramatic level*

[Funky Fly]

I nominate FUnky to watch it. He has big balls afterall... Anyway, what's the worst thing that can happen, Chyna materialized through your TV and kills you?
Just watched it. 2 quick titty shots and a quick ass shot. That's about all there is to it.

As far as I can tell, I'm ok. I mean, I can still see, but I guess I'll find out if little Funky still works when I go look at some (non-Chyna) porn sometime in the near future.

[Funky Fly]

BTW, for those who watched the trailer, I am not related to Johnny Fly (AKA the producer) in any way. :mad:

[BigDaddyCool]

gross dude

[#1-norm-fan]

I used to defend Chyna's looks, but ever since she left WWE... *cringe*

[#1-norm-fan]

lol. @ the review. Mini penis.

[Innovator]

I've said it once and I'll say it again...I've lost all faith in mankind

[Pegasus Crawford]

Should I be glad that I felt no movement in the groin area while watching that trailer?

[Hired Hitman]

I think it is safe to say nobody will visit China ever again.

[Jonster]

That is the worst trailer I've seen for anything.

[RemyRed]

Looks ok to me, except for that weird as hell alien music they were playing.

[big_bluto]

Just watched it.
SCARY SH</>IT!

Looks total garbage, but the descriptions page is hilarious.
It's a MUST READ!

[ColdwaVer]

Should I be glad that I felt no movement in the groin area while watching that trailer?

Well I'm sure as hell glad that I didn't. God, that is the boniest ass I ever saw.

[Joe Kerr]

Should I be glad that I felt no movement in the groin area while watching that trailer?


That made me think of when Peter Griffin taped over his wedding with a porn, and lois sent it to her grandmother in a old folks home...the guy was punching himself in the Groin telling it to wake up. :lol:

[Tornado]

"Hey Lois can I borrow your mace?..AHHHHHHHHH! Thats better"

[El Santo]

Notice how the DVD cover has "JOANIE" in large letters and "sean" in tiny letters. Dominated much, eh, X-pac?

[Gone Mad]

Just read the review and isn't it funny after all that descriptions, the guy then says watch it. Heh, I wasn't going to before and not of that descriptions helped any bit either. The cover just creeps me out alone and hell, I like horror movies!

[Stickman]

At least it's not as bad as German Goo Girls.

[RP]

"We watch as Sean dives in for his hot lunch, camera wobbling woozily as he contemplates what will likely be his last meal in a porn movie. Joanie’s loins are riddled with razor burn, bruises, zits and ripped to the max from serious squats. It doesn’t take long for the man in the boat to appear from under Joanie’s clitoral hood. (Now I know why there’s such a thing as gawkers’ block on the freeways.) "

Cmon.. lets give this movie a chance!

[The Answer]

Well I took one for the team and actually watched it(Some how I can still see and type).It's basically a Rob Zombie video mixed in with wipes and a pole :rofl: (Rob Zombie rules).Good lord it's horrible their is nothing graphic though besides some chyna bare ass which is a good thing or I may have gone blind:n:

[Corkscrewed]

I've taken the liberty of posting the review so you don't have to click on the link.

Review: Hot on the heels of 1 Night in Paris, Red Light District has followed up with another, uh, celebrity sexpose.

The AVN-named Best Selling and Renting Movie for 2004, Paris featured celebrity sex kitten and heiress to the Hilton fortune, Paris Hilton, while this sequel takes the back road to the bank.

1 Night in China stars Joanie Laurer and Sean Waltman, who in a former career were known as Chyna Doll and X-Pac as part of the World Wrestling Entertainment’s bevy of beefed-up wrestling superstars.

When Joanie and (gosh, I’m so tempted to say Chachi here!) Sean left their careers and wrestling monikers behind them, anyone would guess it was just a matter of time before they moved on to some form of exploiting their past. WWE’s Vince McMahon, like many savvy promoters and producers, owns many of the names of characters they help build, so new careers and real names have to be created or used to fall back on, it seems.

Chyna was a badass bitch in the ring and looked quite fetching in that female, steroid bodybuilder appeal that strikes a chord with wimpy men, homosexual closet cases and those who make transsexual porno (one of the hottest niches since bisexual porn came and went).

Here, Joanie and Sean travel to China (or at least Sean does), obviously to make the “China” connection and (hopefully) avoid a head-on, body-slam of a lawsuit with McMahon and the WWE. Hell, McMahon is the guy who fought over having to change his organization’s name from the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) when the World Wildlife Fund cried foul.

In the 56 minutes of travelogue, seduction, tease and sex, Sean Waltman’s attempts at improvisation to a video camera at The Great Wall and Tiannamen Square, rank right up there with some of the great yucks fans of wrestling have enjoyed. Remember when X-Pac would stomp the mat moments before some mook’s back would kiss the ring, making for an unintentionally hilarious entertainment experience? This movie leaves that memory on the mat.

Like his short-lived career in front of the wrestling fanatics where he crosses his arms in an X in front of his legs, Waltman should have taken his own advice and kept his pants on, as should Chyna.

When she first enters the frame, ensconced in something “sexy” and looking to tease, it harkens back to those nightmare moments where you’re slightly drunk in a room, waiting to see what it is you really seduced, and out comes someone who makes you wonder, Is it a man, a she-male—and most importantly, what the hell is that bulge between its legs and what are its plans for me?! Yikes!

Well, after a brief session of poorly lit seduction in black and white, a surveillance footage level of video camerawork reveals Joanie and Sean’s sexual exploits.

Problem is, what we can see looks like a faggy bodybuilder with a mullet banging a handsome transsexual. The freak-show, circus-act, car-crash appeal heightens when Joanie pops her clit and it’s not only pierced, but looks like a mini-penis.

After a bit of the ol’ in n’ out, we cut back to Sean talking to the camera in China, stumbling through some obviously improvised lines. We’re oddly glued to the screen to see how bad he’ll get and hoping that we can witness in full-color that mini-penis that speaks inches about steroid abuse in women.

Girls if ya want a big one, juice up, get ready for pimples on your ass, a dick of a clit with a hood like an uncut foreskin and…”Get Ready to Rumble!”

Back in the sex room, Sean switches over to a color camera, forgetting to take the strap off the handle and holding his videocam with all the steadiness of a drunken sailor on a lost weekend. His sexual conquest splayed out, naked before him, with wall-eyed bolt-ons and a mug of a face that is both mannish and moody looking, awaits. Sean goes to work.

Joanie sucks a mean cock, in the way you would assume a guy would, taking a face fucking, manhandling a member and devouring dick till you wonder if it’s ever coming back out of that gaping maw of a kisser.

We watch as Sean dives in for his hot lunch, camera wobbling woozily as he contemplates what will likely be his last meal in a porn movie. Joanie’s loins are riddled with razor burn, bruises, zits and ripped to the max from serious squats. It doesn’t take long for the man in the boat to appear from under Joanie’s clitoral hood. (Now I know why there’s such a thing as gawkers’ block on the freeways.)

As much as I was repulsed seeing an inch-long and thick-as-a-pinkie clitoris with a corona resembling the head of a penis, I was oddly fascinated. I wondered what it really says on her driver’s license and how many years and injections of male hormones could produce a member that impressive, and what that would mean to guys who got shortchanged at birth, looking for a few extra inches.

Sean, attempts entry as the camera strap comes into frame like a hook from a vaudeville act and one is left to wonder what ever made these two think this was their ticket to anything other than ridicule and perhaps bit parts in a remake of Nightmare Alley.

Sean gets going and stays hard while the camera captures such wonderful moments as Joanie’s ripped abs, which are now showing signs of flab, and her Marty Feldman tits, impossible to capture together at close range.

Obviously, Sean didn’t brush up on his (pro-porn shooter) Mike John movies, as he can’t direct the sex, much less shoot it and fuck. Hell, the guy was a wrestler, so you have to forgive him.

Joanie, on the other hand, gets so hot, she turns over and starts power thrusting back on Sean’s member, doggy-style. The insta-porn stars rut like sweaty gay men, pushing to and fro and grunting, as we can’t take our eyes off the acne-riddled ass of Joanie.

Sean makes a thumb pass on Joanie’s butthole and with a deft move of a camera that highlights one her worst bruises on her quad, Sean makes an anal entry we never see. Once inside, Joanie lights up like a tranny with a love for butt sex. She power-pumps Chachi, er, Sean, till he’s worn out and has to have her turn over for some languid linking.

We watch as she takes it missionary, sweat glistening and her pussy looking like a pierced catcher’s mitt with a swollen thumb. More manly sex ensues and one notices that Joanie’s almost more buff than Sean… but I digress.

A jump cut takes us to the money shot, where Sean unloads with all the mastery of an amateur stud, whacking his stiff member till he shoots on her splayed anus from the side. At this point, we could be watching two men have sex. It’s that scary.

Nevertheless, this is a movie that every casually curious porn consumer and porn fan must see. Wrestling fans too will flock to rent and buy—though we all know once they’re 18 they convert to porn fans, so that leaves the rest of the world and, yup, they’ll come a runnin’.

Unlike Hilton in 1 Night in Paris, there’s no glee to be had watching a bad girl heiress look like she’s thinking, “Fuck you daddy!” while she takes a load on camera.

However, Joanie and Sean do have celebrity appeal of a more freakish sort, and will obviously end up on some sort of circuit, probably with a small circus, or maybe even Branson, Missouri, because I hear Joanie likes to sing and play guitar. Sean’s already looking like he could be one of The Gatlin Brothers on a bender, so that pretty much sums it up.

You have to see this movie.

Afterwards, take a Silkwood shower like I did, and don’t pick up the soap. If you drop it, Joanie might get you.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Great descriptions! :lol:

[Azriel]

I will rep anyone who ends up watching the full thing when it comes out. Lord knows you need something for your troubles.

[Gone Mad]

Order "One Night in Chyna" now and you'll receive a FREE lifetime pass to therapy!

[YOUR Hero]

Sean makes a thumb pass on Joanie’s butthole and with a deft move of a camera that highlights one her worst bruises on her quad, Sean makes an anal entry we never see. Once inside, Joanie lights up like a tranny with a love for butt sex. She power-pumps Chachi, er, Sean, till he’s worn out and has to have her turn over for some languid linking.

We watch as she takes it missionary, sweat glistening and her pussy looking like a pierced catcher’s mitt with a swollen thumb. More manly sex ensues and one notices that Joanie’s almost more buff than Sean… but I digress.

A jump cut takes us to the money shot, where Sean unloads with all the mastery of an amateur stud, whacking his stiff member till he shoots on her splayed anus from the side. At this point, we could be watching two men have sex. It’s that scary.


LOL

[Volchok]

i would watch it... but im afraid i'll have nightmares...

[The Answer]

"Problem is, what we can see looks like a faggy bodybuilder with a mullet banging a handsome transsexual. The freak-show, circus-act, car-crash appeal heightens when Joanie pops her clit and it’s not only pierced, but looks like a mini-penis".

Good lord :nono:

[KingofOldSchool]

Chyna (in her naturally manish sounding voice): Are you ready for this Sean?
Sean: SUCCCKKKK ITTTTT! *sticks out tongue and does a crotch chop*

*Chyna shows Sean her clit*

Sean: Awwwwweeee SUCK IT! I'll call it...Mini-Pac! *does a crotch chop*

[Corkscrewed]

And after all this time, X-Pac still seems to love her very much.

Makes you wonder if he took one [hundred] too many bumps in the ring.

[I-Hate-You]

Wow!


A film about failed circus acts.

[Rain Man]

Just watched it.. Dumb

[corey99999]

is chyan a man?

[Superman16343]

rain man, where did you watch the video?