DVDs that will never sell....

[Marc the Smark]

Okay, I'll admit I'm stealing this idea from another site, but oh well.

"Losing Happily" - starring Triple H
"Monkeyface" - starring Daniel Puder
"The Guide to Facedom" - starring Randy Orton
"Why It's Great To Be Straight" - starring Shawn Michaels
"The Jim Ross Workout" - starring "good ol' JR"
"I Can't Believe I Screwed That and Filmed it: The Life and Times of Xpac"
"Staying Positive" - starring Bret Hart
"Balancing a Checkbook" - starring Paul Heyman
"Good Clean Fun" - starring Papa Shango
"Successful Internet Relationships: The Rob Feinstein Story"

Add your own! :)

[Marcyo]

Dvd version: One night in China

[El Santo]

"The Guide on How to Lose Weight Using Stacker 2" --- Big Show
"That's my Baby! The WWE's most memorable pregancy angles"
"That's Why They Call Me Sexual Chocolate: The Best of Mark Henry"
"Big Man, Big Heart: The Best of Giant Gonzales"
"The XFL: Season One"
"How Do You Like Me Now? The Hardcore Holly Story"
"Purple Rain: The Best of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea"
"The Greatest Chamber of Torture Matches of All Time"

[Savio]

"New years Revolution"

[Hardkore Kidd J]

Greatest botches volume one-------- Lita

100 wyas not to screw over your opponent------------ Triple H

How to be friendly.............. Hardcore Holly

The story of Zach Gowen

How to be a good commentator----------- Kenzo Suzuki

Karoke with Kenzo Suzuki.

[Hired Hitman]

How to Wrestle by The Undertaker.

[Gouda]

"Super Mario Brothers" featuring Shannon Moore as Bowser.

[Heyman]

"How to hide one's homosexuality" by Jeff Hardy.

"I can teach YOU to have an IQ above 70! ooooh yeeeeah!" - Randy Savage

[James Steele]

"How to stay on top without marrying your boss' daughter" Starring Triple H with Easter Eggs featuring Larry Zybsko

"Wrestling With Shadows: Jeff Hardy's Subconsious"

"WWE Presents: The Best Of The InVasion"

"Jeff Jarrett: WCW World Heavyweight Champion"

"Vince Russo: WCW World Heavyweight Champion"

"David Arquette: WCW World Heavyweight Champion"

"Thugs Are Born In West Newbury, Massachussetts"

"Best Of The Survivor Series: The Gooker"

"Best Of The Survivor Series: The End Of The InVasion"

"Best Of Kane: When Shane-O-Mac Attacks"

"Earl Hebner: I Was Stoned In 97' "

"Triple H: From Terra Ryzin To Terrorizing Talent"

"The Undertaker 360: From Casket To Motorcycle To A Texas Police Station"

"WWE Presents: The Rise And Fall Of Scott Hall"

"Jerry Lawler v. Larry King: Robbing The Silicone Cradle"

"Batista: Holy Man To A Believer In The Power Of Evolution"

"Ric Flair: Rubber Tits Gone WILD!"

"CSI:WWE Season 1 'Who Killed Triple H' " (Wait, that would sell)




I'll stop because I already posted way too many, and have way too many ideas left.

[Heyman]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

LOL.

[Drakul]

The Lita DVD collection (On betamax only)

meh :-\

[Marc the Smark]

I'll stop because I already posted way too many, and have way too many ideas left.

:lol: These are great!

[James Steele]

Drakul, I will positive rep you just because...

well...


alright... I'll just give you an B- for effort!


Anyway, I have got some more!




"Vince McMahon Screws: Genetic Jackhammer To Legend Killer"

"Heidenreich's Sensual Poetry: A DVD For Those With An Alternative Lifestyle Who Need Help Getting In The Mood"

"Ric Flair & Triple H Present: The Dirtiest Player In The Game"

"Tough Enough: Maven Goes To Jail"

"Shannon Moore: Maximum Velocity™"

"Welcome To Hell: Sally Jesse Raphael's Inside Look At The WWE Midcard"

"Chuck Norris & The Undertaker: Badge On A Pole Vols. I,II, & III BOX SET!"

"Judy Bagwell: how My Son Saved Me From A Pole"

"WCW: The Ultimate Vince Russo Swerve"

and finally...


"Mark Henry: Showers In Mae"

[Hired Hitman]

"Batista: Holy Man To A Believer In The Power Of Evolution" :cool:

[46 & 2]

Naked Mideon: Behind the Fanny Pack

Zach Gowen's Guide to Being Bipedal

Nicole Bass Does Dallas

1 Night in Bull Nakano

JR Presents: Moving Both Sides of Your Face

Guarding Life, Boring to Death: The Best of Waylon Mercy

Flyin Flair: How to Hit a Move off the Top Rope

Shockmaster: After the Debut

The Rise and Fall of The Christmas Creature (or Fake Diesel, whichever Kane you prefer)

We're Not in Kansas Anymore: Oz's Best Matches

Bastion Booger: Here Comes the Taint (finisher shot in opponent's POV)

Bird Life: The Gobbledy Gooker

The Sunday Morning War

King Kong Bundy in Hedonism

Airplane Etiquette by Sir Scottwick Hall

[James Steele]

46 & 2 Said:
JR Presents: Moving Both Sides of Your Face
You are going to burn in hell and be raped by a pitchfork. You know that right?

[46 & 2]

I am fully aware.

[James Steele]

OK, just wanted to make sure.


*** 1,111 Post BABY!!!!!! ***

[46 & 2]

I would edit it, but you already quoted it, so I'll just ask everyone to forget that one and pretend it said "JR Presents: Six Minute Abs" instead.

[James Steele]

LOL!

I struck the fear of god in you! MWA HA Ha ha ha ha hA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA


Oh, and a DVD that wouldn't sell would be called:


"The Best Of Ultimate Warrior's E-Bay Shannigans Vol. 1"

[Innovator]

Best of HHH: Wrestlemania XII

[Innovator]

Getting Over 101 by Glenn Gilberti

not WWE but still works

[James Steele]

Innovator=Greatness

:yes:




:shifty:




:lol:



:wtf:

[Xero]

Triple H, Chyna, and X Pac, The Ultimate Love Triangle

D Generation X, The Chyna Years

Guitar Lessons with Jeff Jarrett

Shawn Michaels' I Take It All Back: The REAL Story Behind the Screwjob

Steve Austin's Guide to Dating

The Best Entrances featuring the Shockmaster, The Ultimo Dragon, Goldberg, and many more!

The Ultimate Botch Collection Presents: The Complete Works of Lita

[tucsonspeed6]

Any documentary narrated by Ultimate Warrior

Warrior: "And then came the downfall of WCW...It wasn't the road to an unadulterated mindset that drove us all to an address of succession in dictatorship and thought processes, it was the rarely charted vines enwrapping the arms and binding them to rusted metal gates. Thinking is the key. It's not a matter of iconoclastic necrophelia that musters in languid pools, no....it's mankind. Yes, large amphibious quadrapeds that have fused with the heavens and the very core of the molten moon. The patriarchs of our civilization were cybernetic in nature. Not in the literal sense, but more of a realistic sense. A realism that can reach out through the shadows of doubt and clutch the tiny candies in the bottom of the vase. We never knew to release the candy and pull our hands out! And so, in a sense, we became warriors. Fierce, "Ultimate" warriors who shouted obsenities at the moon for the sake of censorship. We pounded our fists on dried clay and molded in it our new selves, a box of hope and nightmares that consumed life! ...And then Vince Russo came.

[nelioneil]

Triple H, Chyna, and X Pac: Lets get ready to suck it
Gobbeldy Gooker: How to make the perfect egg
Triple H: How to Job
Scott Hall: An expert opinion of quitting alcohol
Heindenreich: Epiletic fits? Calm yourself down, write a poem

Nothing else I could think off

[nelioneil]

"Mark Henry: Showers In Mae"

That would never ever sell, I am not even sure Mae Young would want to read that. Plain disgusting :wtf:

[Stickman]

A HHH DVD.........i'm not even trying to be funny. Seriously, not many people will buy a dvd of HHH.

[RGWhat316]

How To Kill Babies, And Get Away With It: The Gene Snitsky Story

[Innovator]

Humbling Thyself by HHH
I'm the real HHH by Jeff Jarrett
Poor ticket sales, that really is my fault by Gene Snitsky
<s>Who</s> What was I doing? by X-pac, foreword by HHH

[Xero]

These are DVD's, not books. Although, they could be adaptations of books, I guess. :shifty:

[Nowhere Man]

The Best of ECW('s part in the Alliance)

[Tornado]

JR Presents: Moving Both Sides of Your Face


LMFAO

[Anybody Thrilla]

"This Match is Scheduled For One Fall: The Owen Hart Story"

Already, I regret having typed that.

[The Answer]

Snitsky's "10 ways to punt a baby" and Lita's "Kiss of death:You reap what you sow"

[James Steele]

Anybody Thrilla,

:nono:


That is all I have to say, :nono:

[Innovator]

Viva la Raza con mi amigo, cuenta de El Luchador Grande

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

A no-selling DVD.....












http://www.atlanticdvd.com.au/product_images/large/undertaker_buries_them_alive.jpeg

[Anybody Thrilla]

Hey, I was a huge Owen fan. But it HAS been a while. He'd probably find that funny, you know.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

'WWE presents, Best 2 out of 3 fall matches that didn't go the distance'


Should have plenty of matches for that... :shifty:

[Morrisey]

I'd buy a HHH DVD, not because I like him much, but think of some of the great matches he's been involved in, especially over the 1999-2000 period! Some of the promos would definitely be worth owning too.

[BigDaddyCool]

"How to make friends at your new job" Starring Buff Bagwell
"How to run a successful women's division" - WWE
"How to run a successful cruiserwieght division" - WWE
"How to book a great undercard" - WWE
"How to push new talent" Starring Jeff Jarrett, ft. audio commentary by HHH
"How to keep you gimmick fresh and innovative" Starring Goldberg
"Hey, I'm still on top?" Starring JBL
"JR's guide to calling matches without really know what is going on"
"Puppies! How to screech by Jerry Lawler"
"Tattoos in wrestling"

[RemyRed]

"This Match is Scheduled For One Fall: The Owen Hart Story"

Already, I regret having typed that.
LMAO

[RemyRed]

Bathroom Break - The Best Of Sid Justice
Break The Wall Down.....Or Not - The Best Of Y2J Chris Jericho (5 minute long special)
Getting Over It - Bret "Hitman" Hart
Motorcycle Safety - Bret Hart
Broken Back - Shawn Michaels
Handling An Abusive Wife - Sean Waltman
Sexual Relations On The Job - The Michael Cole & Tazz Story (Bonus Commentary by Tyson Tomko & Christian)

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

'This Match is Scheduled For Two Falls: The Ultimo Dragon Story'

Already, I regret having typed that.

[James Steele]

Funky is going to kill you. :lol:

[Wildcat789]

"The Proper Execution of Your Manuevers" By D'Lo Brown
"Several Hundred Reasons Why Not to Buy the Aforementioned Film" By Droz
"How to Live up to the Hype" By Nathan Jones
"Staying on Top" By Chris Jericho
"The Best of Jewish Wrestlers"
"The Glass Ceiling; Only an Obstacle" By Rob Van Dam, guest commentary by Chris Benoit
"Finding Your Character and Improving Mic Skills" By Rey Mysterio
"Saving it for the Ring; The Hardcore Holly Story"

[Hired Hitman]

'This Match is Scheduled For Two Falls: The Ultimo Dragon Story'

Already, I regret having typed that.
LOL

Nice, I evne laughed at the Owen joke but felt bad afterwards... Owen :'(

[RGWhat316]

"How To Make Friends In America" Muhammed Hassan

And even though I'm a Kurt Angle fan, there has to be a "Suck" DVD that will never sell.

[The Fitz]

"Issac Yankems Guide to Having a Great Smile Today" Featuring Chris Benoit

[McLegend]

Motorcycle Safety - Bret Hart

It would have been funnier if you said bicycle safety.

[Innovator]

I know what you want - The Vince McMahon Story

[Crashnburn]

"Stephanie McMahon in Concert"

"Climbing the Corporate Ladder and Staying on Top: the Steven Richards Story"

"The Life and Times of Katie Vick"

"How to Change an Indy Wrestler's Gimmick for the Better" by Vince McMahon and WWE's Creative Team

"How to Put on Championship Matches in Under Five Minutes, starring John Cena"

"Playing With Little Johnny: The Heidenreich Story" with special guest commentry from Michael Jackson

[Xero]

"They Don't Remember: A Look into the logic of the WWE writing team" starring Vince McMahon

"How to Preform a DVD with John Cena"

"The World's Best Rest Holds"

"Screwing People with Vince McMahon" Special features include Triple H "screwing her brains out"

"The Worst of Vince Russo" ten disc set

"Using Steroids the Right Way with Big Poppa Pump" with alternate commentary by Triple H and Vince McMahon

"Big Boots and Leg Drops: A detailed look into the finishers of the Hulkster"

"How to Beat Up the Handicap" starring Brock Lesnar with Zach Gowen

"How I Write My Poems with Heidenreich"

"Spears, Shoulder Blocks, and Other Football-Related Moves" starring Rhyno, Goldberg, The Alpha Male, and Edge"

[Evolution]

"Yes, I DO suck!" - The Kurt Angle Championship story with bonus never-before-seen footage featuring Triple H and Vince McMahon

[RGWhat316]

Rikishi: The Best Stinkyfaces

[Crashnburn]

"Brock Lesnar: Following Your Dreams"

"Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young Gone Wild"

"Learn to Dance with Scotty 2 Hotty"

[JT]

""How To Be A Wrestler in 4 Easy Steps by Scott Steiner"

"The Complete Idiots Guide to Smarks by John Bradshaw Layfeild"

"Triple H's Guide to Wrestling Sucess"

"How 'Triple H's Guide to Wrestling Sucess' Change My Life: The Jeff Jarret Story"

"Fuck the World to Fuck this Job: The Tazz Story"

"How to Strech a Gimmick by Sean Waltman (Co-Written by Gregory Helms and Jim Hellwig)"

"WCW...."