Kane Knight
02-21-2005, 03:18 PM
I don't mean on the board, I mean in wrestling. You know, like Taboo Tuesday without the predicability, the nearly PC attitude, and the overall suckitude.
Here's my plans:
Cena needs to thug it up. By that, I mean he needs to bitch slap some other punk-ass celebrity. Preferably some conservative fuck like Limbaugh, who's probably bitched about raps and ghetto culture before. Or he could fued with the PTC. By feud, I mean recruit some of his Chain Gang followers to strap bombs to their chests and walk into the PTC's headquarters.
The Divas will start doing hardcore full on lesbian porn. It will air at the end of PPVs and fill out the half hour they never used. I'll still feel gipped after PPVs like NWO, but it'll be hard to complain when all the blood's in my dick.
An addendum to that last one, they will hire more attractive Divas.
No excuses for the RVD's tag team move is called "4:20." He's a fucking pothead, and anyone he's tagging with is on a massive fucking contact high.
Vince McMahon will start showing up in one of those hospital gowns. You know, the ones that don't cover up your ass? On Smackdown, which is on Network Cable, this will be covered up by an American flag.
HHH confesses that he was George W Bush's mistress. He will then show footage of him going down on Flair in a Bush mask.
Full frontal nudity on Raw. Vince can afford the fines, and imagine the love he'd get for being the one bastard who stands up to the FCC.
If that doesn't work, Move Cena to Raw and have him bust Eminem-esque rhymes live on TV. Include the words fuck and faggot a lot.
Hire Chyna back, and undress her on a PPV. Not for the sexual value, mind, but to answer the question once and for all...Man or woman? Have people bet online.
Crossovers: Have Rock hit a Rock Bottom on Luke Skywalker. Orton RKOs Veronica Mars. Just do something besides Star Trek: Enterprise. Crossovers only work if someone cares about the show. Triple H vs Jason Vorhees. Chris Jericho vs Peter Steel. Have Jericho call Lurch a pussy, and let them duke it out onstage.
Give Shanon Moore a sex change. Even with the "punk" look, nobody believes he's really a guy.
The foreigners they keep bringing in are too vanilla. Offer contracts to al Qaeda. Best thing is, you can pay 'em in livestock.
Bring Back Rico. Make Him Hardcore Holly's "friend." It'll finally explain the "Hardcore" Monicker.
Explosions.
Let JBL Goose-Step on TV. Set up Smackdown! PPVs in Harlem, San Franscisco, and wherever the fuck Jews hang out.. Nuff Said.
Spin-off show: Who want to kick Lesnar in the balls?
Sue EVERYONE. Sue TNA, Sue Ted Turner, sue Al Gore (For inventing the Internet). Sue the Olympics. Sue CNN. Sue anyone with W or E in the irname. For that matter, Sue PBS.
Vince has to declare himself "Bigger than Jesus." This must be done in a public forum.
Here's my plans:
Cena needs to thug it up. By that, I mean he needs to bitch slap some other punk-ass celebrity. Preferably some conservative fuck like Limbaugh, who's probably bitched about raps and ghetto culture before. Or he could fued with the PTC. By feud, I mean recruit some of his Chain Gang followers to strap bombs to their chests and walk into the PTC's headquarters.
The Divas will start doing hardcore full on lesbian porn. It will air at the end of PPVs and fill out the half hour they never used. I'll still feel gipped after PPVs like NWO, but it'll be hard to complain when all the blood's in my dick.
An addendum to that last one, they will hire more attractive Divas.
No excuses for the RVD's tag team move is called "4:20." He's a fucking pothead, and anyone he's tagging with is on a massive fucking contact high.
Vince McMahon will start showing up in one of those hospital gowns. You know, the ones that don't cover up your ass? On Smackdown, which is on Network Cable, this will be covered up by an American flag.
HHH confesses that he was George W Bush's mistress. He will then show footage of him going down on Flair in a Bush mask.
Full frontal nudity on Raw. Vince can afford the fines, and imagine the love he'd get for being the one bastard who stands up to the FCC.
If that doesn't work, Move Cena to Raw and have him bust Eminem-esque rhymes live on TV. Include the words fuck and faggot a lot.
Hire Chyna back, and undress her on a PPV. Not for the sexual value, mind, but to answer the question once and for all...Man or woman? Have people bet online.
Crossovers: Have Rock hit a Rock Bottom on Luke Skywalker. Orton RKOs Veronica Mars. Just do something besides Star Trek: Enterprise. Crossovers only work if someone cares about the show. Triple H vs Jason Vorhees. Chris Jericho vs Peter Steel. Have Jericho call Lurch a pussy, and let them duke it out onstage.
Give Shanon Moore a sex change. Even with the "punk" look, nobody believes he's really a guy.
The foreigners they keep bringing in are too vanilla. Offer contracts to al Qaeda. Best thing is, you can pay 'em in livestock.
Bring Back Rico. Make Him Hardcore Holly's "friend." It'll finally explain the "Hardcore" Monicker.
Explosions.
Let JBL Goose-Step on TV. Set up Smackdown! PPVs in Harlem, San Franscisco, and wherever the fuck Jews hang out.. Nuff Said.
Spin-off show: Who want to kick Lesnar in the balls?
Sue EVERYONE. Sue TNA, Sue Ted Turner, sue Al Gore (For inventing the Internet). Sue the Olympics. Sue CNN. Sue anyone with W or E in the irname. For that matter, Sue PBS.
Vince has to declare himself "Bigger than Jesus." This must be done in a public forum.