SmackDown! Captions 3/17/05

[M. Banana]

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[Gouda]

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Cena: I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK.... I'M NOT ON STEROIDS!!! GAAAAARRRRRRR!!!

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Cena: Oh God... it's finally happened... My mouth is stuck open!!! Oh yeah, and I killed that dude over there...

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Janetty: HEAD EXPLOSION KICK!
Angle: I won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck... a missing freaking head isn't much of a problem for me! WHOO!

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Randy: Wait, wait. Hold on for a second. There's Vince. *sticks out hand* Heil de Fuhrer!
Taker: I think it's supposedto be a little bit higher.
Randy: I have problems getting it up. :$

[The Fugitive]

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While many regarding Angle as one of the best wrestlers of all time, nobody questions that he makes a terrible dental assistant.

[Gouda]

That gives me an ide:

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Angle:TAKE THAT EVIL GINGAVITOUS! TAP!! TAAAAAAP!!

[Marcyo]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/031705/images/12.jpg

The most electrifiED man in sports entertainement.

[El Santo]

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Angle proves that he is indeed The Man by balancing Marty Jannety on the tip of his nose.

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Angle: "Lost your smile, huh, buddy? I'll show you how to get it back!"
Jannety: "Aaaagghh! That was MICHAELS! MICHAELS!"

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As you can see here, Marty was never really a fan of Kurt's "invisible trombone" routine.

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Things got really out of hand when some joker off-stage turned on the industrial-sized fans.

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Suddenly bored with the match, Marty Jannety began to amuse himself with a one-man game of rock-paper-scissors.

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On a special "Saturday Mystery Matinee", come visit an eerie town where unsuspecting children are kidnapped by the Stepford Wives.

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Bischoff: "No, seriously, Teddy. This is a stick-up. Give me your wallet."

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Randy: "Just so you know, Taker, I left you a little present. In your hat."
Undertaker: "...."

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Randy: "No, no, no, Taker! You put your right hand in, put your right hand out, put your right hand in, then you shake it all about!"
Taker: "Ooohhhhh..."

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You've gotta wonder what Taker could be thinking. It could be "How, in a universe as vast and complex as we live in, could there be no God?" or "Where did I leave my keys?"

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You know you watch too much wrestling when...

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Ref: "Holy crap. Those dreads. They're, like, alive or something."

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You know, after an Extreme Makeover, Booker T looks fabulous!

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"So, ladies, what's six minus one?"

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Rey: "Look at me! I can fly!"
Danny Basham: "Dammit, Rey, we can see your strings."

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Eddie knew he was in trouble when the third brother, Giant Basham, attempted to lift him up from the turnbuckle.

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Lady in the front row: "Her-cu-LEES! Her-cu-LEES!"

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Well, you'd look this way too if your armband was on too tight.

[BatistaBomb]

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Eric:But I Did Save A Bundle BY Switching To Geico

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Randy:So Could I Meet Your Wife And Take A Look At Her Luggage

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Randy:And I Slide Into Home Plate And Won The Little League World Series

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Taker:I've Gotta Call Geico

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Cena:What Do You Mean Ashton Kutcher Is Leaving The 70's Show

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Cena:I'm He-Man And I Have The Power