Corky's 10,000th Post Extravaganza (wrestling related, don't worry Funky Fly) [Archive]

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 10:58 AM

Wow. Three years (or so). 10,000 posts. It's been a long way from my days as a regular n00b who didn't stand out to captioning apprentice slash Lamuella idolizer to funny caption guy to best C-fedder ever ( :shifty: ). But I stand firmly in saying this is the best wrestling message board on the web, and I'm proud to have been here.

To commemorate this, I offer some choices as to questions you can ask me. Choose ONE (at a time) and I will give a personal response.

1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one. I might listen.

2. Choose a wrestler and I will tell you what would happen if he faced Taz(z).

3. Gimme a random Wrestling Scenes from a Hat topic and I'll give a response.

4. Name two wrestlers and I will tell who would kick the other's ass and why.

5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.

So there ya go. I also expect rep, because I'm really Paul Carrington in disguise.

SWERVE!!

I'm really just LC.

OK, not really.

06-11-2005, 11:00 AM

Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.
Y2J

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 11:10 AM

Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.
Y2J

For his birthday, HHH arranges to have Motorhead play at his party. Jericho gets word of this and uses his Canadian Ninja skills that he learned from Stu Hart's dungeon to kidnap the entire band and ship them off to Somalia. Then, he takes their place at the party.

On the big day, HHH can't tell that it's not Motorhead, cuz both bands sound like they're choking on cigarettes as they're singing. Jericho takes this time to bash HHH's head in with his guitar, then throws him through the drums and pummels him with a propane BBQ grill. Jericho then locks in the original Walls of Jericho while positioning HHH on top of the grill, broiling him in Stephanie's own juices.

Unfortunately, HHH completely no sells it, since it's only a mere Canadian wrestler trying to kill him, which validates the old adage: "If you're over and Canadian, you can't kill Triple H."

In grief, Jericho drives home like a maniac and runs over Vince McMahon while going through Connecticut. HHH ascends to the throne and banishes Jericho to Uruguay, where he spends the rest of his life musing over how he killed his boss.

SuperSlim

06-11-2005, 11:10 AM

1. Jericho vs Cena (silly)

HankScorpio

06-11-2005, 11:13 AM

Option 2 & 4 mixed please :)

Bobcore Holly. Vs. Charlie Hass... With a Taz(z) run-in

06-11-2005, 11:18 AM

vBulletin Message
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Corkscrewed again.

:y: Good stuff Corky

NoRoolz

06-11-2005, 11:19 AM

Congratulations :y:.

4: Kurt Angle V Bret Hart :P (Real fight or wrestling match - your choice).

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 11:23 AM

1. Jericho vs Cena (silly)
After treating RAW to a round of "John Cena is a Little Bitch" Jericho talks about how rock is way better than rap. Cena comes out and says no it's not, but Jericho's band comes and beats Cena down.

The following week, Cena brings his Chain Gang over, and a massive gang war ensues, with Cena getting the better of Jericho by hypnotizing him with his spinning belt, the FU'ing Jericho off the stage.

At the next PPV, during Cena's title match, Jericho shows up and gives everyone pictures of Cena when he was the Prototype and looked like a buff turd with bad hair. Cena freaks out and goes after Jericho, only to get attacked by.... K-KWIK!!!

Yes, a returning K-KWIK announces that he was the original rapper, and that Cena is just a wigga. Jericho chimes in and says "yeah, whatever that means."

K-Kwik turns to shake hands with Jericho, but Y2J lays him out with a chair because rap sucks. Before K-Kwik can exact revenge on RAW, Vince fires him after learning he's black. The same week, Shelton Benjamin schedules some plastic surgery.

Cena and Jericho have rap offs and rock-offs up to the culmination of their feud, which sees Jericho pick up the win by reminding Cena he left the stove on at home, then rolling him up and grabbing the tights.

Eventually, Jericho keeps the Spinning Belt cuz it's got a lot of bling, which goes well with Hollywood Jericho and his Rich Band Fozzy.

06-11-2005, 11:24 AM

meh, wont make you type a fued or anything, just congrats on 10k :)

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 11:27 AM

Option 2 & 4 mixed please :)

Bobcore Holly. Vs. Charlie Hass... With a Taz(z) run-in
It's a tough call, but Haas would kill Bobcore. Reason being that Bob would try his best to injure Charlie, but he'd totally no sell it. We've already seen him flying pile drive himself onto the ring floor and get up like nothing happened. Bob would try to shatter Charlie's shin with a sledgehammer, but Charlie would roar and go apeshit on Bob. Tazz would come in to mediate things, but Bobcore would attack him, only to get choked out by a Tazzmission. Followed by a Tazzplex through a table. Which would break his neck. Twice. All in one move cuz Tazz is da man.

Charlie Haas would then volunteer to have the same done to him, but since he is a Lita/Ultimate Warrior hybrid, he'd actually fly into the crowd and land on some baby. Charlie would be okay despite landing on his neck, but the baby wouldn't, prompting a feud with Gene Snitsky over who is truly the better baby maimer. But that's another feud...

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 11:29 AM

Congratulations :y:.

4: Kurt Angle V Bret Hart :P (Real fight or wrestling match - your choice).

After a 7.4 hour submission match that features 392 near-taps, Bret and Kurt realize they're both awesome and it's kinda pointless to fight each other. They agree to focus on more important things. So Bret goes to Atlanta and shoots Goldberg in the ass with a shotgun while Angle has dirty beastiality sex with the hot young wife of the writer who brought up the idea of turning him into a pervert.

HankScorpio

06-11-2005, 11:32 AM

After treating RAW to a round of "John Cena is a Little Bitch" Jericho talks about how rock is way better than rap. Cena comes out and says no it's not, but Jericho's band comes and beats Cena down.

The following week, Cena brings his Chain Gang over, and a massive gang war ensues, with Cena getting the better of Jericho by hypnotizing him with his spinning belt, the FU'ing Jericho off the stage.

At the next PPV, during Cena's title match, Jericho shows up...

:drool: I really want to see that (title :love: ) fued :y:

After treating RAW to a round of "John Cena is a Little Bitch" Jericho talks about how rock is way better than rap. Cena comes out and says no it's not, but Jericho's band comes and beats Cena down.

The following week, Cena brings his Chain Gang over, and a massive gang war ensues, with Cena getting the better of Jericho by hypnotizing him with his spinning belt, the FU'ing Jericho off the stage.

At the next PPV, during Cena's title match, Jericho shows up and gives everyone pictures of Cena when he was the Prototype and looked like a buff turd with bad hair. Cena freaks out and goes after Jericho, only to get attacked by.... K-KWIK!!!

Yes, a returning K-KWIK announces that he was the original rapper, and that Cena is just a wigga. Jericho chimes in and says "yeah, whatever that means."

K-Kwik turns to shake hands with Jericho, but Y2J lays him out with a chair because rap sucks. Before K-Kwik can exact revenge on RAW, Vince fires him after learning he's black. The same week, Shelton Benjamin schedules some plastic surgery.

Cena and Jericho have rap offs and rock-offs up to the culmination of their feud, which sees Jericho pick up the win by reminding Cena he left the stove on at home, then rolling him up and grabbing the tights.

Eventually, Jericho keeps the Spinning Belt cuz it's got a lot of bling, which goes well with Hollywood Jericho and his Rich Band Fozzy.

:rofl: awesome!

NoRoolz

06-11-2005, 11:40 AM

After a 7.4 hour submission match that features 392 near-taps, Bret and Kurt realize they're both awesome and it's kinda pointless to fight each other. They agree to focus on more important things. So Bret goes to Atlanta and shoots Goldberg in the ass with a shotgun while Angle has dirty beastiality sex with the hot young wife of the writer who brought up the idea of turning him into a pervert.

LOL Nice one :y:. I had a feeling the result would be a draw ;).

Mayo

06-11-2005, 11:44 AM

haha Corkscrewed is awesome, congrats on the milestone :y:

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 01:52 PM

'k, repped everyone who replied. :)

Lamuella

06-11-2005, 02:08 PM

captioning apprentice slash Lamuella idolizer

:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

Lamuella

06-11-2005, 02:08 PM

captioning apprentice slash Lamuella idolizer

:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

Innovator

06-11-2005, 03:07 PM

4. Kevin Nash vs. HHH

Nark Order

06-11-2005, 03:11 PM

1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one. I might listen.

Raven vs Goldust (silly)

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 03:15 PM

4. Kevin Nash vs. HHHDo I really even have to go into this? :lol:

HHH entrance theme hits.

HHH takes one minute to appear on stage.

23 seconds to drink water and spit

47 seconds to walk to ring

15 seconds to get onto apron

2 minutes 18 seconds to glare at the crowd

14 seconds to chug water

9 seconds to spit

1 minute 45 seconds to glare some more

3 seconds to cross the ropes and get in

5 minutes 30 seconds to go to each corner, get onto the turnbuckle, and pose

15 minutes 27 seconds to get a mic and talk about he will be victorious, and to announce his swerve, like how he got whoever's in charge to make this a "falls count anywhere no DQ match"

2 minutes to growl and show how much of a man he is.

Kevin Nash entrance music hits.

Kevin walks forward for 3 seconds

1 second to tear the quad

10 seconds to slowly fall down

4.5 seconds to tear the other quad on his way down

HHH quickly runs over and and beats Nash relentlessly with a sledgehammer then pins him. Why does HHH go apeshit on Nash? Maybe cuz Kevin slept with Steph.

THE END

Jonster

06-11-2005, 03:16 PM

Congrats on 10,000 :y:
5. Mohammad Hassan.

Fryza

06-11-2005, 03:24 PM

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 03:28 PM

1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one. I might listen.

Raven vs Goldust (silly)
One day, Goldust shows up on TNA telling Raven to chill out. He's always so serious and stuff, and he should loosen up. Raven asks how, and Goldust proceeds to hump Raven's leg. Disgusted, Raven punches Goldust, who cowardly flies through a glass window that happens to be nearby.

The following week, Goldust shows up with a bouquet of flowers, but Raven's like NO BITCH and DDT's him onto a ladder. He then pours primer onto the fallen Goldust and then paints him black.

Apparently, Blackdust gets the message. A few weeks later, during a TNA championship match, Blackdust shows up out of nowhere and attacks Raven, costing him a shot at winning the title.

Raven retaliates later by stealing Blackdust's wig and giving it to Molly Holly, who for some reason still has short hair. Angered that his favorite wig was stolen, Blackdust goes to the aviary and murders all the ravens there. He then shows up on IMPACT and has a giant book burning of all Edgar Allen Poe books right in the middle of the ring!

This isn't wise, though, as the entire ring catches fire. Fortunately, Raven shows up and says he's just had a hardcore lumberjack flaming right surrounded by a hell in a cell barbed wire ironman match approved. Blackdust says "bring it on!" but Raven just smiles and stands there.

The ring burns down with Blackdust in it, and he gets burned alive. Fans pop and start chanting E-C-Dub!! E-C-Dub!! E-C-Dub!! The ref declares Raven the winner of the via inflamination.

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 03:29 PM

Congrats on 10,000 :y:
5. Mohammad Hassan.

He crashes a plane into HHH and Stephanie's mansion, killing everyone on the estate, including HHH, Vince, Steph, and Kevin Nash. :shifty:

Nark Order

06-11-2005, 03:34 PM

One day, Goldust shows up on TNA telling Raven to chill out. He's always so serious and stuff, and he should loosen up. Raven asks how, and Goldust proceeds to hump Raven's leg. Disgusted, Raven punches Goldust, who cowardly flies through a glass window that happens to be nearby.

The following week, Goldust shows up with a bouquet of flowers, but Raven's like NO BITCH and DDT's him onto a ladder. He then pours primer onto the fallen Goldust and then paints him black.

Apparently, Blackdust gets the message. A few weeks later, during a TNA championship match, Blackdust shows up out of nowhere and attacks Raven, costing him a shot at winning the title.

Raven retaliates later by stealing Blackdust's wig and giving it to Molly Holly, who for some reason still has short hair. Angered that his favorite wig was stolen, Blackdust goes to the aviary and murders all the ravens there. He then shows up on IMPACT and has a giant book burning of all Edgar Allen Poe books right in the middle of the ring!

This isn't wise, though, as the entire ring catches fire. Fortunately, Raven shows up and says he's just had a hardcore lumberjack flaming right surrounded by a hell in a cell barbed wire ironman match approved. Blackdust says "bring it on!" but Raven just smiles and stands there.

The ring burns down with Blackdust in it, and he gets burned alive. Fans pop and start chanting E-C-Dub!! E-C-Dub!! E-C-Dub!! The ref declares Raven the winner of the via inflamination.
LOL, you are sick... I love it. :D

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 03:37 PM

Congrats Corky, great to see you still here. :y:

1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one- Raven versus Rob Conway. Serious. Have fun.
Unfortunately, I don't know enough about Conway's gimmick in OVW to do this correctly, and to use his gimmick now vs Raven wouldn't really do much. Or rather, I wouldn't be able to do a good job with it. So I'm not listening to you and going silly instead. :p

One day, while Raven is lamenting his life, Rob comes in and invites him to join the French, who smoke cigars with their babies all day and don't have to work because they are le tired. Feeling a need for change, Raven accepts, but it doesn't change his demeanor, as he simply conducts his promos in French.

Rob gets annoyed and decides to talk to him like a mature adult, but out of instinct, Raven DDT's Rob onto a flag pole. Then, because he happened to be drunk, Raven pisses on the French flag, instantly becoming JR's all time favorite hero.

Humiliated, Rob attacks Raven the following week with a flag pole, but Raven parries easily with a kendo stick. What ensues is a 12 minutes incredible flag pole vs kendo stick fight with Jedi-esque moves galore.

Towards the end, Raven goes for the kill, but Conway ducks, then impales Raven with the flag pole!!!

What no one knew was that Raven is really The Crow, and that people had been confusing him with a Raven all this time. So since he's already dead, he didn't get hurt at all. Instead, RavenCrow pulls the flag pole out and starts beating Conway with it, but not before Rob surrenders. Feeling no compassion, Raven DDT's Rob onto the flag and again and starts to unzip his pants before realizing he's done this before.

A loud GONG sounds off, and fans pop as the Undertaker comes out and shakes hands with RavenCrow. The two become the Undead Tag Team and go on to dominate the wrestling industry, because no one can defeat that which is already dead but came back to life to no-sell any sort of offensive maneuver whatsoever.

Internet fans continue to love Raven because he's everthing they want to be when they die.

Jonster

06-11-2005, 03:48 PM

He crashes a plane into HHH and Stephanie's mansion, killing everyone on the estate, including HHH, Vince, Steph, and Kevin Nash. :shifty:
Ooooooooh, tasteful :shifty:

El Santo

06-11-2005, 04:48 PM

Question #1.

Fake Undertaker vs. Fake Diesel.

Silly, of course.

Marcyo

06-11-2005, 05:08 PM

Corky, you are THE MAN.

congrats on 10k.

James Steele

06-11-2005, 05:21 PM

Shadow

06-11-2005, 05:58 PM

Jeff Hardy vs. HHH (serious)

Crashnburn

06-11-2005, 06:02 PM

I choose option #2.

Chris Benoit vs. Taz

Corkscrewed

06-11-2005, 11:52 PM

Question #1.

Fake Undertaker vs. Fake Diesel.

Silly, of course.

In a quest to prove that each is not the suckiest jobber ever, Fake Undertaker (hereafter to be referred to as 'FU') and Fake Diesel (FD) engage in a series of "can you top this" episodes to establish their dominance.

FU first tries to create some lightning, but the best he can muster is rain. And the fans start booing when they realize it's just a leak in the ceiling.

Laughing, FD gets into a big rig and tries to run down FU, but a GONG hits, and FD freaks out and jumps out of the truck, which crashes into a hearse. FD's old dead girlfriend pops up, and she and FU share an intimate reunion until she low blows him and joins FD instead. It's revealed that a long time ago, FU burned her alive because he thought it'd be badass.

FU pursues FD and tries to chokeslam him, but FD gives him a big boot, pulling his quad in the process in a powerful stroke of foreshadowing.

FU kidnaps his old gf and tries to crucify her again, but since she's a corpse, she just laughs.

The fire does burn up her remaining flesh tho, so when she stands up as a skeleton, she falls apart due to the lack of tendons and muscles to hold her together.

FU proclaims victory until FD emerges from some random ashes and powerbombs FU, breaking his neck in the process. FD celebrates his big win until his mouth falls off.

He spends the rest of his days looking for his smile, but without an experience smile finder to guide him, he never succeeds.

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 12:00 AM

I just want to say congrats on 10k!!!! http://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/love.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/heart.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/kiss.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/kiss.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/kiss.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/kiss.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/kiss.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/love.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/love.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/love.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/rolleyes.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/rolleyes.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/rolleyes.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/shifty.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/shifty.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/shifty.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/shifty.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif

3. Gimme a random C-Wrestling Scenes from a Hat topic and I'll give a response.

James Steele & Corky cut a promo drunk.

CORK: Okay... okay... I can do this...

STEELE: No your can't.
***HEEL HEET***

CORK: Okay... you COrking to MEEEEEEE?????

STEELE: XWC RUULLLLLEEEEEEEEESSZZZ!!!!

CORK: Okay... you COrking to MEEEEEEE?????

STEELE: XWC RUULLLLLEEEEEEEEESSZZZ!!!!

CORK: Okay... you COrking to MEEEEEEE?????

STEELE: XWC RUULLLLLEEEEEEEEESSZZZ!!!!

CORK: Okay... you COrking to MEEEEEEE?????

STEELE: XWC RUULLLLLEEEEEEEEESSZZZ!!!!

CORK: Your champ is rike... a lllittlee nugget.

STEELE: Shaddup. I could... I could take you. *hic*

CORK: I'm so shexy.

STEELE: I'm der grrreaatessss heeeeel EEVAAAAAAAA!!!!

CORK: Dude.

STEELE: Ima kill Aizee-el

CORK: WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I can't do it like the Naitch. He der man. He make girly hotszzzz... booobies...

STEELE: heeeheeehhhhh... wonder whenr Form Freenzeeeee gon be up.

CORK: TNA shucks.

STEELE: HEEL HEEEEET!!!!

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 12:02 AM

Jeff Hardy vs. HHH (serious)
See that IC Title Match he had with HHH. HHH badmouthed Hardy, gave him no chance, and Jeff kept coming back during the match. Brilliant story of the huge underdog trying to make it through all odds. Jeff keeps kicking out despite the punishement and the verbal abuse he takes.

But HHH finally puts him away after like a Pedigree off the ladder (that part is my own ending).

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 12:05 AM

I choose option #2.

Chris Benoit vs. Taz
This would be like thirty five minutes of suplexes. German suplexes, Northern Lights suplexes, T-Bone suplexes, exploder suplexes, vertical suplexes, belly-to-belly suplexes, Tazzplexes, Perfectplexes, superplexes, Dragon suplexes, full nelson suplexes, and snap suplexes. Taz would lock on the Tazmission, but Benoit would somehow reverse it into a Crossface. Taz would refuse to tap, however, and eventually break it by rolling onto Chris. Seeing Taz weak, Benoit would go for a flying headbutt, but miss. Taz takes advantage of this and locks in the Tazmission again. Benoit doesn't tap, but after about three minutes, he passes out, giving Taz the win.

NoJabbaNoBogRoll

06-12-2005, 12:09 AM

3. Gimme a random Wrestling Scenes from a Hat topic and I'll give a response.
Chris Jericho decides to get his revenge on Triple H by leaving naked pictures of Mae Young in his bag, when suddenly... Vince walks in on him.

James Steele

06-12-2005, 12:10 AM

:rofl:

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 12:18 AM

Chris Jericho decides to get his revenge on Triple H by leaving naked pictures of Mae Young in his bag, when suddenly... Vince walks in on him.
VINCE: What the heck is that????

HHH: Um...

Mental Inventory on Possible Excuses:

(A) <s>Naked pics of Mae Young</s>
No.... that's just embarrassing.

(B) <s>Naked pics of Linda</s>
Better than saying I have pics of Mae Young... but Vince might get pissed.

(C) <s>Naked pics of Steph w/o makeup</s>
Better than saying I have pics of Mae Young, and he might buy it, but he'll want a closeup look...

Shit... what do I do?????

HHH: ...hey pops! Heh.... check out some of these Cruiserweights on SmackDOWN! They're mutated freaks! You need to fire them!

VINCE: Huh? UGH!!! Well, I've never even met any of them so I have no idea whether those pics really are of them or not, but I'll take your word that they're that hideous. Who's this one?

HHH: Erm... Jamie Noble.

VINCE: He's fired. Seeya at the barbecue later tonight! http://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/wave.gif

HHH: *WHEW*

aaronkyle86

06-12-2005, 02:14 AM

5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.

Carlito

Just John

06-12-2005, 04:24 AM

omg this thread rules!

ok how would Spike Dudley assassinate Vince and Trips? (Trips lol I sound like Flair exept without the class)

Londoner

06-12-2005, 08:11 AM

Savio

06-12-2005, 12:00 PM

5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.
----------
Linda (yes I know she doesn't wrestle.)

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 12:02 PM

5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.

Carlito One dark quiet night, Carlito sneaks into the McMahon Mansion. Dropping into the kitchen, he starts to replace the apples on the counter with special "magic" apples that basically poison anyone who eats them. In the process of this, the lights come on, prompting Colon to dive for cover. A sleep HHH comes into the room scratching his ass, then opens the fridge for a midnight snack. He takes out a turkey leg and spends the next 30 minutes feasting on it.

Afterwards, he decides to "eat something healthy" and reaches for an apple. Carlito's heart goes up as he takes one and bites it, but sinks when he realizes it wasn't a poisoned apple (CCC hadn't replaced all of them yet). HHH, after eating one apple, still isn't full, so he reaches for a poisoned one. Carlito, sure that it IS a poisoned one, starts to mentally celebrate, then frowns when he sees Trips finish the fruit without incident.

"Das not cool... oh wait! He's been eating Stephanie out for years. So he's built up a resistance to 'poisonous fruit!'"

Slightly disappointed, Carlito takes a hammock out of his pack and follows HHH upstairs. Before Trips can reach the bedroom, CCC wraps the hammock around Helmsley and starts suffocating him!!!! HHH goes down, and Carlito commences a furious attack, beating him senseless with two very hard coconuts.

After he confirms Trips is dead, he cuts the two coconuts both open. Taking some superglue, he pastes two halves on Triple H's chest, giving a rather comical effect.

The third half he puts over HHH's crotch. And the last half he puts on top of his head.

Carlito then sneaks out of the mansion like a ninja and awaits news of his deeds the following day.

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 12:08 PM

omg this thread rules!

ok how would Spike Dudley assassinate Vince and Trips? (Trips lol I sound like Flair exept without the class)

One day, after jobbing to Dawn Marie for the fourth Velocity in a row, a frustrated Spike Dudley decides to kill Vince for destroying his character.

He goes to the phone and calls all 593 of his half brothers, and together they march upon the McMahon estate, orc-style.

Spike goes to the door and rings it, and a surprised Vince answers.

"Spike... what are you and all these inbred hicks doing here?"

Spike replies, (in a comical high voice) "We represent... the Lowercard Guild!!!

Vince swallows a chuckle and asks what they want.

Spike: "We want... to KILLLLLLLLLL YOU!!!!"

The Dudleys overwhelm the mansion and trample over Vince, who pulls both of his quads in the process and does seven Spinneroonies. The rabid hicks destroy everything, burning the kitchen, tearing down the walls, and stealing all the WWE contracts from the safe.

Finally, Spike confronts a battered and bruised Vince one on one.

Vince is on his knees, begging. "Please don't kill me!!!"

But Spike doesn't listen. He does an Acid drop on Vince off the stairs unto the marble floor multiple times, smashing McMahon's head in every time!!!

"This is for toning down Bubba and D-Von! This is for giving me a nice gimmick then burying me! This is for ECW!!! This is for sodomizing Shannon Moore!!..." and so on.

Yet, Vince doesn't die. So Spike busts out the ultimate weapon. Towering over a fallen McMahon, he looks down and says:

"Oh yeah... and I screwed your hot daughter good last night. She says my penis is ten times longer than her husbands."

Vince, overwhelmed with shock, has a heart attack and dies.

El Santo

06-12-2005, 12:35 PM

One dark quiet night, Carlito sneaks into the McMahon Mansion. Dropping into the kitchen, he starts to replace the apples on the counter with special "magic" apples that basically poison anyone who eats them. In the process of this, the lights come on, prompting Colon to dive for cover. A sleep HHH comes into the room scratching his ass, then opens the fridge for a midnight snack. He takes out a turkey leg and spends the next 30 minutes feasting on it.

Afterwards, he decides to "eat something healthy" and reaches for an apple. Carlito's heart goes up as he takes one and bites it, but sinks when he realizes it wasn't a poisoned apple (CCC hadn't replaced all of them yet). HHH, after eating one apple, still isn't full, so he reaches for a poisoned one. Carlito, sure that it IS a poisoned one, starts to mentally celebrate, then frowns when he sees Trips finish the fruit without incident.

"Das not cool... oh wait! He's been eating Stephanie out for years. So he's built up a resistance to 'poisonous fruit!'"

Slightly disappointed, Carlito takes a hammock out of his pack and follows HHH upstairs. Before Trips can reach the bedroom, CCC wraps the hammock around Helmsley and starts suffocating him!!!! HHH goes down, and Carlito commences a furious attack, beating him senseless with two very hard coconuts.

After he confirms Trips is dead, he cuts the two coconuts both open. Taking some superglue, he pastes two halves on Triple H's chest, giving a rather comical effect.

The third half he puts over HHH's crotch. And the last half he puts on top of his head.

Carlito then sneaks out of the mansion like a ninja and awaits news of his deeds the following day.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh my Gawd. You really are a sick bastard. :lol:

Nark Order

06-12-2005, 04:45 PM

Archive this madness

Volchok

06-12-2005, 05:40 PM

Congrats Corky, you are truly the man...

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 07:20 PM

Lmao, funny stuff here. I'm abit late but congrats on 10,000, i didn't bother making a thread for my 1,000th maybe i should've done something like this!

As for the topic..
1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one. I might listen.

Rey V Angle. Serious.
The premise of this is that Kurt returns to his All American persona a bit. He can even be US champion to emphasize it. The character, however, is tweaked a bit to resemble JBL's fanaticism, and manifests itself controversially in an overly racist form.

The feud itself could begin after a couple of exciting, action packed matches between Angle and Rey (through some tournament or something else where they'd be "randomly" matched against each other), where Rey actually beats Angle just barely (roll up or something that might be interpreted as flukey).

Angle can come out and address Rey and how he makes Angle sick, always waving his Mexican heritage around. Throwing in those Spanish words sometimes. Talking about his luchador background. He can talk about how this country doesn't need little midgets like him, talk about how Kurt Angle is a true American, and be really bigoted about it. Anyone not like Kurt is a wimp, etc... etc...

Kurt escalates the feud later by actually going to Rey's house and intimidating Rey's wife. He knocks on the door, Rey's wife opens, freaks out, Kurt barges in and actually restrains her, then locks her in some closet. Then maybe freaks out his kids by acting really creepy, telling them (as they're cowering under their sheets in bed) that he's gonna do something really bad to their daddy.

Rey might get some measure of revenge the following week by attacking Kurt in a match, but Kurt would beat Rey down, going crazy with a chair.

In the following weeks, Kurt would brag about doing the country a favor by eliminating another "dirty Mexican" (I figure if he can talk about dirty beastiality sex, why not be "racist").

In storybook fashion, Rey would make his comeback, challenge Kurt to a match for the belt, and win after a five star 20 minute match ( :shifty: ). His celebration would serve as a parable about the triumph of the true American spirit... that "American" refers to all peoples, etc... etc... It's a larger story that teaches against bigotry and shows that the little guy can overcome the odds.

Lotsa kinks to work out, but it's just an idea. Kurt and Rey could feud over who does the better moonsault and make it look good, so yeah.

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 07:26 PM

5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.
----------
Linda (yes I know she doesn't wrestle.) For weeks, Vince has been noticing Linda's rather odd fascination with the movie Basic Instinct. Yet he pays it no harm and goes upon his daily business.

It turns out that Vince has been having multiple affairs with various WWE divas. And Linda found out about them. But rather than confront him outright, she decides to plot her revenge.

She goes to "a guy she knows" and gets an extreme makeover disguise that changes her looks, unbeknownst to her husband. This new look is so amazing it makes her look like a hot 25 year old bachelorette.

Using this look, she lures Vince into a night of while hot passion. It involves ropes and tying to the bed. In the middle of the intercourse, however, she tears off the face mask and reveals herself to him and tells Vince he knows about all the affairs he had. Shocked, Vince tries to escape, but can't because he's tied to the bed. Linda, a woman scorned, takes a blanket and strangles him. Then stabs him 134 times, Sharon Stone style, before leaving the luxury hotel where they're staying and returning home.

Three weeks later, HHH takes over the company. A couple of years after that, the WWE goes out of business. Fortunately, Linda had invested in Segways, which have become all the rage, so she enjoys retirement in splendor while Steph and HHH go penniless. Shane had been disowned in the will but had found success elsewhere, so he was okay too. http://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/shifty.gif

Shadow

06-12-2005, 07:27 PM

You've got that fucking right.

Shadow

06-12-2005, 07:28 PM

Lotsa kinks to work out, but it's just an idea. Kurt and Rey could feud over who does the better moonsault and make it look good, so yeah.

You've got that fucking right Corky.

Savio

06-12-2005, 08:32 PM

Segways are all the rage. [/in that voice]

Corkscrewed

06-12-2005, 09:07 PM

What voice?

Nark Order

06-13-2005, 01:30 PM

What voice?
THAT one. You ass...

Corkscrewed

06-13-2005, 02:33 PM

Oh.

Chuck Jones

06-13-2005, 07:03 PM

Serious feud between CM Punk and Eddie Guerrero

Londoner

06-13-2005, 08:43 PM

The premise of this is that Kurt returns to his All American persona a bit. He can even be US champion to emphasize it. The character, however, is tweaked a bit to resemble JBL's fanaticism, and manifests itself controversially in an overly racist form.

The feud itself could begin after a couple of exciting, action packed matches between Angle and Rey (through some tournament or something else where they'd be "randomly" matched against each other), where Rey actually beats Angle just barely (roll up or something that might be interpreted as flukey).

Angle can come out and address Rey and how he makes Angle sick, always waving his Mexican heritage around. Throwing in those Spanish words sometimes. Talking about his luchador background. He can talk about how this country doesn't need little midgets like him, talk about how Kurt Angle is a true American, and be really bigoted about it. Anyone not like Kurt is a wimp, etc... etc...

Kurt escalates the feud later by actually going to Rey's house and intimidating Rey's wife. He knocks on the door, Rey's wife opens, freaks out, Kurt barges in and actually restrains her, then locks her in some closet. Then maybe freaks out his kids by acting really creepy, telling them (as they're cowering under their sheets in bed) that he's gonna do something really bad to their daddy.

Rey might get some measure of revenge the following week by attacking Kurt in a match, but Kurt would beat Rey down, going crazy with a chair.

In the following weeks, Kurt would brag about doing the country a favor by eliminating another "dirty Mexican" (I figure if he can talk about dirty beastiality sex, why not be "racist").

In storybook fashion, Rey would make his comeback, challenge Kurt to a match for the belt, and win after a five star 20 minute match ( :shifty: ). His celebration would serve as a parable about the triumph of the true American spirit... that "American" refers to all peoples, etc... etc... It's a larger story that teaches against bigotry and shows that the little guy can overcome the odds.

Lotsa kinks to work out, but it's just an idea. Kurt and Rey could feud over who does the better moonsault and make it look good, so yeah.

Sounds good. I guess i gave you too much of an easy task there.

Corkscrewed

06-13-2005, 11:23 PM

Serious feud between CM Punk and Eddie Guerrero
To be honest, I don't know enough about CM Punk, his character, and his background to book a serious feud. http://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/redfacenew.gif I could do some research I guess... unless you want to give me another shot at something else... http://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/naughty.gifhttp://tpww.net/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif

Chuck Jones

06-14-2005, 05:23 PM

Paul London vs. JBL (comedy)

Corkscrewed

06-15-2005, 02:10 AM

Paul London vs. JBL (comedy) Now THIS is can do! :D

One day, Paul London challenges JBL for the US Title. Cocky, JBL accepts, but is shocked to see London put up such a good fight that he needs OJ to lay him out for the win. The following week, London cuts a promo saying how JBL is just a coward, and how he can beat him easily.

JBL shows up and gets mad, then threatens to sodomize Paul's good friend Billy Kidman in the shower. Paul responds, "You haven't been paying attention to the storylines, have you? We're enemies now."

What follows is the first live sodomy ever shown on TV.

That week, SmackDOWN's ratings drop to a record 0.4... the 400,000 viewers primarily from Texas, where sodomy is "cool."

JBL then proceeds to go on a personal crusade to destroy every Cruiserweight in his way. Since most of them avoid him anyway, this is not too successful, but Shannon Moore unfortunately does bump into him one day. JBL and the Cabinet pummel Moore, shove him into a closet, and enter the closet. For the next ten minutes, there are shuffling sounds heard, screams, groans, wet plops, more things falling down, and finally a really loud splash. JBL comes out looking really happy.

JBL comes to the ring, only to be greeted with chants of "WEAR SOME PANTS!!!" He looks down and realizes that this is a repeat of that dream he used to have as a kid. To make matters worse, Paul London comes out in a water drunk and starts spraying ice cold water at JBL. The resulting shrinkage in his general groin area nears JBL the new nickname JLB: Just a Little Boner.

Humiliated, Bradshaw vows revenge. At the next PPV, in a NO DQ Falls Count Anywhere Match, Bradshaw beats the crap out Paul London, totally stiffing him. He hits the Clothesline from Hell when suddenly...

RON SIMMONS WITH A BOOT OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!

Bradshaw never saw it coming, but his old partner, who he abandoned and thus got a push, has come back to exact revenge! Farooq gives JBL a Dominator onto 49 bottles of beer, busting him up big time. He then pours beer onto Bradshaw's head, then takes a deck of cards and starts giving him paper cuts!

JBL screams in agony as Farooq beats him down. Finally, Paul London gets up onto the top rope and its a BEAUTIFUL 450 Splash!!! He then goes to the other rope and hits the London Calling!!!

London with the cover...

1....... 2.......3!!!!!!

Paul London and Farooq celebrate. As a final act of triumph, they glue coconut halves to JBl's crotch and ass cheeks. Then they glue OJ to the front coconut and Danny and Doug to the back coconuts.