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View Full Version : Summerslam fallout, Smackdown! Film noir


Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 02:27 PM
Welcome to another exciting edition. Tonight's top story

Michaels Fired: The Heartbreak kid has been given his walking papers, after the Henson workshop determined that the damage done to the "Hulk Hogan" Puppet was irrepairable. The WWE has released a statement wishing their best to the Heartbreak kid in all future endeavors.

Blood, Sweat and Tears: Due to United Paramout Networks' request, Smackdown will now be aired completely in black and white.

You may have noticed that replays of images where someone bleeding have been in black and white, to obscure the blood. A recent UPN survey has indicated that sweat and oil can also be mistaken for blood by the casual observer, and they do not wish to cause undue alarm. As a result, they have pushed to remove color from the program.

OJ/Benoit--Fraud: Reports are that the US championship match did not end as planned. When approached by yours truly for a comment, Vince McMahon said, and I quote, "What US Championship?"

Expect no future plans for the US title. My bad.

Brock Lockout: The WWE and Brock Lesnar have been unable to come to terms. Apparently, Brock won't come back until his contract allows him to kill wrestlers who appear on "Byte This!" or WWE.com. Expect a long contract negotiation, as the WWE tries to talk him down to a pantsing.

Tag Team Divisiveness: The WWE has decided to correct the primary problem with the tag team divisions--The lack of tag teams. As a result, the tag team championships will no longer require an actual tag team.

John Cena--See-ya? The WWE has been sued by the ACLU for their negative protrayal of "wiggers," or as they prefer to be called, "wegroes."

RK-D'oh! Randy Orton has annoyed numerous officials within the WWE, due to the unscripted finish of his match at Summerslam. Apparently, he was scheduled to lose to the Undertaker, and return as his henchman, "The Embalmer." This would spark a feud between the Deadman and the returning Mordecai, MD.

Angle the Liar: Kurt Angle is a fraud, so reports the Yiddish Gazzette. Apparently, Kurt Angle, "American Hero," was born and lives in a small town in Germany. Pics of Kurt in the offending Liederhosen can be found here.

Jordan
08-23-2005, 02:32 PM
lol the Kurt Angle comment got me laughing lol...

Destor
08-23-2005, 02:51 PM
Main Entry: film noir
Pronunciation: -'nwär
Function: noun
Etymology: French, literally, black film
: a type of crime film featuring cynical malevolent characters in a sleazy setting and an ominous atmosphere that is conveyed by shadowy photography and foreboding background music.

Now how does this have anything to do with film noir?

Vastardikai
08-23-2005, 02:54 PM
*Tries to resist the urge to Tard Slap poor Destor18*

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 02:55 PM
Main Entry: film noir
Pronunciation: -'nwär
Function: noun
Etymology: French, literally, black film
: a type of crime film featuring cynical malevolent characters in a sleazy setting and an ominous atmosphere that is conveyed by shadowy photography and foreboding background music.

Now how does this have anything to do with film noir?

He was just referring to the black and white, no blood smackdown comment he was getting at... no need for dictionary... argh.

Destor
08-23-2005, 02:58 PM
He was just referring to the black and white, no blood smackdown comment he was getting at... no need for dictionary... argh.
Black and white has nothing to do with noir, which was kind of my point.

Joey Slugs
08-23-2005, 02:58 PM
Main Entry: film noir
Pronunciation: -'nwär
Function: noun
Etymology: French, literally, black film
: a type of crime film featuring cynical malevolent characters in a sleazy setting and an ominous atmosphere that is conveyed by shadowy photography and foreboding background music.

Now how does this have anything to do with film noir?

*SLAP* :rant:

Thanks for coming.

Destor
08-23-2005, 02:59 PM
*SLAP* :rant:

Thanks for coming.
Your welcome, but it doesnt make me wrong.

Vastardikai
08-23-2005, 03:01 PM
*Finally is overcome by his urges...*

*TARD SLAP*

Destor
08-23-2005, 03:02 PM
Again how my agument hurt by this?

Xero
08-23-2005, 03:06 PM
Black and white has nothing to do with noir, which was kind of my point.
Film Noir is stereotypically in black and white, that's why he made the reference.

Also...

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kane Knight again.

Joey Slugs
08-23-2005, 03:08 PM
Again how my agument hurt by this?

I'll try to type nice and slow for you to understand this. We all know Film Noir consists of films that are black and white. KK made a joke about the WWE turning smackdown to black and white. There you have it.

Don't make me hit you again kid.

Destor
08-23-2005, 03:08 PM
Film Noir is stereotypically in black and white, that's why he made the reference.

Also...

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kane Knight again.
Thats simply because noir went out of style in the days of black and white (and mostly because the first time people of this generation heard of noir was Sin City)

loopydate
08-23-2005, 03:09 PM
*SMACK*

Joey Slugs
08-23-2005, 03:12 PM
Thats simply because noir went out of style in the days of black and white (and mostly because the first time people of this generation heard of noir was Sin City)

*CRACK*

Sin City is NOT the first time we have heard of Noir. Trust me. Any college student taking film classes has seen countless hours of the film type.

Xero
08-23-2005, 03:15 PM
Thats simply because noir went out of style in the days of black and white (and mostly because the first time people of this generation heard of noir was Sin City)
I didn't even SEE Sin City. I've known about Noir for a few years at least. I'll admit that I've never actually seen a Film Noir movie in full, but I've seen parts, and plenty of parodies, and they were all... *GASP* Black and white.

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 03:15 PM
Again how my agument hurt by this?

Basically we are all saying, Shut up no one cares about your argument of how he used the word noir (in french meaning BLACK) . He was probably assuming you woulden't be enough of a jackass to attempt to dissect the statement. Let it go.

Destor
08-23-2005, 03:16 PM
*CRACK*

Sin City is NOT the first time we have heard of Noir. Trust me. Any college student taking film classes has seen countless hours of the film type.
Really? where are you going. I graduated with my major in film study from Murry state (which might as well be a community college). Noir was easily my favorite genra.

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 03:18 PM
Really? where are you going. I graduated with my major in film study from Murry state (which might as well be a community college). Noir was easily my favorite genra.

And still no one gives a fuck.

Joey Slugs
08-23-2005, 03:20 PM
Really? where are you going. I graduated with my major in film study from Murry state (which might as well be a community college). Noir was easily my favorite genra.

I graduated with a marketing degree from Northwestern. I have 4 friends that are directors, I've seen a ton of off the wall noir movies with them from their classes.

Destor
08-23-2005, 03:21 PM
Well i come into this thread thinking that im going to get some film dicusion and i get a stereotype. Im kind of let down. Im thinking Film Noir in wrestling right on, lets see this and I get black and white? Huh.

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 03:23 PM
Well i come into this thread thinking that im going to get some film dicusion and i get a stereotype. Im kind of let down. Im thinking Film Noir in wrestling right on, lets see this and I get black and white? Huh.

You killed the damn topic with all your technicalities.
Dat's not cool.

Destor
08-23-2005, 03:24 PM
Thats true, will an appology suffice?
So sorry

Corkscrewed
08-23-2005, 04:11 PM
OJ/Benoit--Fraud: Reports are that the US championship match did not end as planned. When approached by yours truly for a comment, Vince McMahon said, and I quote, "What US Championship?"

Expect no future plans for the US title. My bad.

Brock Lockout: The WWE and Brock Lesnar have been unable to come to terms. Apparently, Brock won't come back until his contract allows him to kill wrestlers who appear on "Byte This!" or WWE.com. Expect a long contract negotiation, as the WWE tries to talk him down to a pantsing.

Tag Team Divisiveness: The WWE has decided to correct the primary problem with the tag team divisions--The lack of tag teams. As a result, the tag team championships will no longer require an actual tag team.

:lol:


And destor... you forget that noir literally means black in French. Film Noir refers to the black and white movies of the 40s and 50s. The color versions of the 70s (for example, Chinatown) and I guess Sin City qualify as neo noir.

Destor
08-23-2005, 04:15 PM
:lol:


And destor... you forget that noir literally means black in French. Film Noir refers to the black and white movies of the 40s and 50s. The color versions of the 70s (for example, Chinatown) and I guess Sin City qualify as neo noir.
Touch'e

loopydate
08-23-2005, 04:17 PM
I'm fairly sure (this is one of a couple of genres I don't know quite as well) that the "noir" in "film noir" refers to the use of long shadows, right? It's something done primarily in black and white because the monochromatic film tone really brings out the shadows.

It's hard to shoot a film noir in color because the eye is attracted more to the color than to the shadow. That's what makes somthing like Chinatown a "neo noir" as Corky said, because it maintains a lot of the visual and storytelling aspects of the classic noirs ("Maltese Falcon," etc.), but the fact that it's in color means that it - by definition - isn't actually "noir."

Or I could just be talking out of my ass.

Destor
08-23-2005, 04:23 PM
For the record I admit defeat to corkscrewed...ya got me. Damn it.
Noir is a type of crime film featuring cynical malevolent characters in a sleazy setting and an ominous atmosphere that is conveyed by shadowy photography and foreboding background music. Color isn't exactly relovent. Its more about characters and setting.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 04:58 PM
Black and white has nothing to do with noir, which was kind of my point.

Right. Because people don't associate film noir with B+W.

Everyone got the association, hence people have taken you to task on it.

Since people are getting it, and the people I was targetting it at got it, I stand by my words.

:p

Destor
08-23-2005, 05:00 PM
Right. Because people don't associate film noir with B+W.

Everyone got the association, hence people have taken you to task on it.

Since people are getting it, and the people I was targetting it at got it, I stand by my words.

:p
So if I assosciate black people with watermellon and chicken nobody will have a problem?

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:02 PM
So if I assosciate black people with watermellon and chicken nobody will have a problem?

You just did.

Racism is different on a way grander scale.

Dave Youell
08-23-2005, 05:02 PM
Who the fuck are all these newbs? Where the hell did they come from?

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:04 PM
Thats simply because noir went out of style in the days of black and white (and mostly because the first time people of this generation heard of noir was Sin City)

Film Noir was still in style in the days of color cinematography. It's still got a cult following with those who are fans of pulp.

Almost any time film noir is emulated, it is done so in black and white and is STRONGLY associated with it, though there were color film noir movies (Primarily in the detective genre). This predates Sin City, though I'm sure an expert such as yourself knows that. :roll:

Besides, the intent was for a tag line for a joke, not accurately descriptive nonclemature.

But thanks for playing. Your anal retentive attention to minutia will surely win you awards with the "Count the continuity errors in Episode 3" crowd.

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:04 PM
Who the fuck are all these newbs? Where the hell did they come from?

Hmm sorry for being a newb... I must have missed the place I can register with 10,000 posts and instant familiarity with everyone...

Destor
08-23-2005, 05:04 PM
You just did.
The question was would there be a problem, look I spent for years of my life studying film, it just erks me when people are uneducated towards the art. Its like if you were a spelling teacher and read one of my sentences, you'd say something.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:07 PM
So if I assosciate black people with watermellon and chicken nobody will have a problem?

So film noir is racism?

Damn, you got me.

Because it's not like the term Film Noir doesn't carry within itself generalisations, making it in and of itself like racism.

So what you're saying, if I may, is that some stereotypes are okay, while others are like racism.

No, I still don't get it. You're talking pure ass. :)

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:07 PM
The question was would there be a problem, look I spent for years of my life studying film, it just erks me when people are uneducated towards the art. Its like if you were a spelling teacher and read one of my sentences, you'd say something.

But do you not realize that in saying that, that association was already thought up in your mind?

There's a huge difference between stereotyping FILMS through their color / no color schemes, and stereotyping PEOPLE through their skin color.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:08 PM
The question was would there be a problem, look I spent for years of my life studying film, it just erks me when people are uneducated towards the art. Its like if you were a spelling teacher and read one of my sentences, you'd say something.

Right. Because you're an art fag, you'll complain ad nauseum when someone "gets it wrong." Gotcha.

And the fact that you had to turn it into a racism issue?

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:09 PM
Oh, and I also apologise for my misuse of the word "tears," since no tears were mentioned in dealing with that tagline. As only blood and sweat (and oil) were involved, I suspect cliché fans will be writing me hate mail.

Destor
08-23-2005, 05:09 PM
But do you not realize that in saying that, that association was already thought up in your mind?

There's a huge difference between stereotyping FILMS through their color / no color schemes, and stereotyping PEOPLE through their skin color.
Granted. The goal was to illistrate a point through an extream, not to offend.

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:12 PM
Once again, you illustrated the completely wrong point...

This thread has gone to shit... which sucks because the original post was actually funny..

destor = fail .

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:12 PM
I'm fairly sure (this is one of a couple of genres I don't know quite as well) that the "noir" in "film noir" refers to the use of long shadows, right? It's something done primarily in black and white because the monochromatic film tone really brings out the shadows.

No, you're not. IT's why I've been in B+W photography and cinematography for so long. It's also why art students tend to make stark films--B+W is cheaper, as well as less expensive to process and print, and so they work with the "cheaper" medium's strengths.

It's easy to portray stark contrast in that sense, and has become easier since modern technology has allowed us to make better, crisper B+W imagery.

(Better is, of course, a preference thing. I've never been big on brown and white)

Destor
08-23-2005, 05:13 PM
Any how the point was directly directed towards KK for his constant mokery towards my spelling (and rightfully so). I fail to how some one could say you did that wrong and another cant. Which for the second time I admit defeat, and appologize. Corkscrewed came up with a valid and accurate argument against my stament, which he is alone on that point.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:14 PM
Granted. The goal was to illistrate a point through an extream, not to offend.

Except you didn't illustrate your point with an effective analogue.

Something an art fag should be a little better at.

Since one of the primary characteristics associated with film noir is, I don't know, the black and white experience...Since even modern attempts generally ignore the discovery of color film...

Naw, because the association is invalid.

And again, I apologise for my use of the word "tears."

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:15 PM
Any how the point was directly directed towards KK for his constant mokery towards my spelling (and rightfully so). I fail to how some one could say you did that wrong and another cant. Which for the second time I admit defeat, and appologize. Corkscrewed came up with a valid and accurate argument against my stament, which he is alone on that point.

Ummm, aside from the fact that you basically came in trying to brag your art major and all your 'useful' knowledge of film noir cinematography in a WRESTLING FORUM. Face it, you were trying to be cocky. And no one bought your shit.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:15 PM
Any how the point was directly directed towards KK for his constant mokery towards my spelling (and rightfully so). I fail to how some one could say you did that wrong and another cant. Which for the second time I admit defeat, and appologize. Corkscrewed came up with a valid and accurate argument against my stament, which he is alone on that point.

"Blah blah blah, I can't make my point, everyone else got it, I didn't, so I'm going to admit defeat to a third party to cop out, even though it's primarily because I don't know my shit and don't understand why someone would attempt to draw a correlation."

Dave Youell
08-23-2005, 05:19 PM
Oh dear god, what the hell has happened to us all, flaming because of a mis interpritation (sp?) of a french word that has nothing to do with wrestling.

Take a good look at yourselves people

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:20 PM
I would also like to apolgise for the following:

"Wegros." Nobody except me actually calls them that.

In reference of the Henson workshop, I called Hogan a "Puppet." The correct term would be Muppet. I would hate to offend anyone.

MD is appropriately written M.D.

While I originally wrote this for humourous intent, with catchy statements over facts, it has quickly devolved into a serious debate over humourous fallacies made for effect. I dearly hope I have not offended anyone...

Except fags, spics, and niggers.

Destor
08-23-2005, 05:22 PM
Look brother befor your retort I had already admitted I was wrong. Further more I didnt bring up my tutilidge until some else did in an attempt to get a film conversation going (though it failed). I have no intrest in making you see it my way. Nor do I care if you call me "fag". I was looking to drop the conversation because 12 on 1 never really pans out for the one. I respect the fact that everyone on this website likes to suck your dick, I didnt mean to piss off the forum, just you. Seemed like it worked though.

Joey Slugs
08-23-2005, 05:23 PM
I would also like to apolgise for the following:

"Wegros." Nobody except me actually calls them that.

In reference of the Henson workshop, I called Hogan a "Puppet." The correct term would be Muppet. I would hate to offend anyone.

MD is appropriately written M.D.

While I originally wrote this for humourous intent, with catchy statements over facts, it has quickly devolved into a serious debate over humourous fallacies made for effect. I dearly hope I have not offended anyone...

Except fags, spics, and niggers.

:lol:

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:25 PM
Look brother befor your retort I had already admitted I was wrong. Further more I didnt bring up my tutilidge until some else did in an attempt to get a film conversation going (though it failed). I have no intrest in making you see it my way. Nor do I care if you call me "fag". I was looking to drop the conversation because 12 on 1 never really pans out for the one. I respect the fact that everyone on this website likes to suck your dick, I didnt mean to piss off the forum, just you. Seemed like it worked though.

I personally don't suck KK's dick, he's actually an asshole to me, he killed my rep because I said something to the effect of I really wasn't a huge fan of Jericho until around this summerslam in his match with John cena.

My comments to you were in no way made with anything to do with KK.

Destor
08-23-2005, 05:31 PM
Good for you?

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 05:32 PM
Good for you?

Lets not bump this thread anymore.

Shadow
08-23-2005, 05:36 PM
destor should be quiet. This is another case of somebody not getting KK's humor and getting all uptight about it.

Good stuff btw KK...A+

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 05:37 PM
destor should be quiet. This is another case of somebody not getting KK's humor and getting all uptight about it.

Good stuff btw KK...A+

You mean like the Enterprise bit last week? ;)

PureHatred
08-23-2005, 06:04 PM
So what's up with a topic about brock in the discussion forum?

Shadow
08-23-2005, 06:05 PM
Of course that's what I mean.

Destor
08-23-2005, 06:06 PM
I thought it would be funny to hear how evry one would burry him, but instead everyone took it serious.

Dave Youell
08-23-2005, 07:03 PM
So what's up with a topic about brock in the discussion forum?
Yeah what's that all about!

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 07:38 PM
I thought it would be funny to hear how evry one would burry him, but instead everyone took it serious.

Naw. They took you like a retard.

Destor
08-23-2005, 07:49 PM
Naw. They took you like a retard.
When it comes to beatinga dead horse you are unfuckwitable.

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 08:10 PM
When it comes to beatinga dead horse you are unfuckwitable.

Agreed.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 08:24 PM
When it comes to beatinga dead horse you are unfuckwitable.

Pot. Meet Kettle.

Shadow
08-23-2005, 08:25 PM
Did someone say pot!?

ThruTheWire
08-23-2005, 08:28 PM
Pot. Meet Kettle.

......................... :wtf:

PureHatred
08-23-2005, 09:06 PM
Pot calling the kettle black.

Don't worry..its just KK being racist again.

Destor
08-23-2005, 09:10 PM
Lets not bump this thread anymore.

RottingFreak
08-23-2005, 09:24 PM
John Cena--See-ya? The WWE has been sued by the ACLU for their negative protrayal of "wiggers," or as they prefer to be called, "wegroes."[/U][/COLOR]
"wegroes" :lol:

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 10:03 PM
Pot calling the kettle black.

Don't worry..its just KK being racist again.

Represent!

PureHatred
08-23-2005, 10:35 PM
Yeah what's that all about!

I read the thread....never thought I'd see the words 'Brock Lesnar' and 'Uzbekistan' in the same sentence.

Kane Knight
08-23-2005, 10:36 PM
BAH GAWD! BROCK F-5's THE TERRORISTS!

Corkscrewed
08-24-2005, 02:40 AM
*MARKS THE FUCK OUT*

Dave Youell
08-24-2005, 03:28 AM
I read the thread....never thought I'd see the words 'Brock Lesnar' and 'Uzbekistan' in the same sentence.
The people of Uzbekistan have recently go internet connections, Brock being a mole on behalf of the WWE then attempts to stop all the people of said country from accessing any wrestling related website on punishment of death