Wrestling parents in kayfabe mode

[Jaton]

So I was just discussing this with TerranRich. Can you imagine some of these wrestlers taking their gimmicks home with them? Like..say..Batista's kids come home with a bad report card and he's just like "don't do that."

[St. Jimmy]

or if cena had kids, and one walked in during him cheating on his wife.

Cena: *waving his hand in front of his face* You can't see Daddy!

[Jaton]

Hah, that's good.

[LK]

So I was just discussing this with TerranRich. Can you imagine some of these wrestlers taking their gimmicks home with them? Like..say..Batista's kids come home with a bad report card and he's just like:

:)
:y:
:|
:n:
:mad:
*powerbomb through a table*

[Favre4Ever]

I'd hate to have Kane as my dad.

Mother: " Youd better not let your father hear you talking like that to me!!! "

Son: " He won't be home for another couple of hours anyways "

**Pyros burst around the house, music hits**

[TerranRich]

Carito: "Hey, go to bed now!"
Kid: "Or what? You'll spit in our face for not being cool? Puh-leeez Dad!"

[Jaton]

This topic has so much potential. Let's hope it keeps going.

[Jaton]

Carito: "Hey, go to bed now!"
Kid: "Or what? You'll spit in our face for not being cool? Puh-leeez Dad!"


You..you can't talk to Carlito like that! <satan voice> thas not cool!

[TerranRich]

Undertaker: "Rest...in....peeeeeaaaace..."
Son: "Okay, good night Dad!"

[TerranRich]

Hulk: "BROTHER BROTHER BROOOTTTHHHEEEERRRRR"
Horace: "No, Terry, I'm your cousin. What's going on?"
Hulk: "YOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!"
Horace: "Yes...me..." :wtf:

[Jaton]

Eric Bischoff: "Alright kids, 3 minutes until your bed time...
...
....

DID I JUST HEAR MYSELF SAY...3 MINUTES?!"

[Jaton]

Val Venis taking his daughter to girl scouts..

Helloooooo Ladiesss

[St. Jimmy]

Chavo (Kerwin) taking his kids to a Family Reunion:

Kid: Daddy, which one is grandpa?
Kerwin: *pulls out photo of Colonel Sanders* this one.

[Favre4Ever]

Mother: "Zack, whats all that racket?!?! Stop running up and down the stairs!!"

Zack Gowan: " Uh...Mom......."

[Favre4Ever]

Scene 1

Wife: " Honey, i'm putting my diaphram in.. are you ready??"

Eddie pretends to be asleep.

Scene 2

Son: " Dad, are you ready to drive me to the park??"

Eddie pretends to be asleep.

Scene 3

Police Officer: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

Eddie pretends to be asleep.

[Nark Order]

Car dealer: Alright Jim, we got you all set for a real nice car here. If you could just sign...

Warrior: I DON'T WANT JUST A NICE CAR! I WANT ANN UULLLLTTTIIMMMAAATTEE CAAAARRR!!

Car Dealer: Well...ok. Where do you think you'll be driving mostly?

Warrior: I'LL DRIVE PAST THE STREETLAMPS OF MY ETERNAL FIERY DESTINY AND THROUGH THE GATES OF THE HEAVENLY FORTRESS OF FATE. ONLY THEN WILL I BE CLOSER TO....PARTS UNKNOWN!!!!

[Xero]

Son: Hey dad, wanna play catch?

Nash: Sure so- GAH MY QUAD!

Son: AGAIN!?

[Jaton]

Gold!

[Jaton]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to deadlyheaven again.

[Xero]

Son: SHUT UP, DAD, JUST SHUT UP!

Matt Hardy: I'LL SHOW YOU!

Son: Uh oh... :roll:

(Five minutes later...)

Dear MySpace,
My son hates me. I don't think I can continue living. He's acting like a feces.

[Nark Order]

Son: SHUT UP, DAD, JUST SHUT UP!

Matt Hardy: I'LL SHOW YOU!

Son: Uh oh... :roll:

(Five minutes later...)

Dear MySpace,
My son hates me. I don't think I can continue living. He's acting like a feces.

LOL

[aaronkyle86]

Driving home from RAW, Lita pulls into the driveway
*CRASH*

Neighbors: Damnit, she botched opening the garage door again...

[Nervous Ferret]

LOL

And where is that Batista smiley Jabba made?

[Nervous Ferret]

LOL

And where is that Batista smiley Jabba made?That was directed at Xerox man

[aaronkyle86]

Kid: Look dad! I got on the honor roll this month!

JR: Bah gosh, that roll isn't made of bread, I tell ya that!

[TerranRich]

Brian: "Daaaaaaad! I want to buy a dog!!!"
King: "What! You know what'll happen if you let it loose..."
Brian: "Whhhaaaaaaat..."
King: "PUPPIES!!!"

[TerranRich]

Jeff Hardy's wife/gf: "Jeff, can you set the table, dear?"
Jefff: [stands on counter, points to head with two fingers, and flips backward onto table]
Wife/GF: :roll:

[Innovator]

Wife: Son! Look at this report card! ALL Fs! You know what to do!

Son: okay mom..

*kid stands next to table propped up in the corner of the room*...

Wife: Now turn around...

Son: MOM NO!

Wife: TURN AROUND!

*son turns around*

Son: DAD NO!

GORE GORE GORE

[Xero]

Masters: Catch son!

*The football hits his son in the nose.*

Son: OH GOD MY NOSE! OH MY GOD YOU BROKE IT! YOU BIG FAT GREEN HOSS!

Masters: But...

(Master's wife comes out.)

Wife: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?

Masters: I just...

Wife: OH SHUT UP YOU BIG STUPID GREEN HOSS! Come on Jimmy, we need to go to the emergency room...

[Jaton]

Kid: Hey dad..what time is it?
Triple H: IT'S MY TIME!! IT'S MY TIME! TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

[TerranRich]

Kid 1: "I'm hungry!"
Kid 2: "Yeah, me too. Are you getting food, dad?"
Kid 1: "Yeah, pleeeaaaase!?"
Al Snow: "WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT...!!"

[Jonster]

Kid: Anyway, my homework is due soo...
Hardcore Holly (interupting): Due soon? You haven't paid your dues yet... :mad:

[TerranRich]

Kid 1: "Dad, flushing the toilet while I was in the shower was not cool!"
Kid 2: "Yeah! And putting a bug in my cereal freaked me out!"
Holly: "Sorry guys, it won't happen again... :shifty: "

[TerranRich]

Kid: "Dad, I—"
ALLLALLLEEYYAAAALLLEEEYYYAALALELEEELEYYYAAALLEEYEYAALEAAAAA..."
Kid: "DAMN YOU, DAD!"

[Jonster]

Kid: OK, I was wrong, I promise not to do it again.
Raven: Quote the Raven, nevermore.

[The One]

Kid: "Dad, I—"
ALLLALLLEEYYAAAALLLEEEYYYAALALELEEELEYYYAAALLEEYEYAALEAAAAA..."
Kid: "DAMN YOU, DAD!"

:lol: Best one yet!

[TerranRich]

Kid: "Dad, I need help on my homework. Who was the 35th president of the United States?"
Kennedy: "MISTEEERRRRRRRRRR...KENNEDY!!!"
Kid: "Wait, I need to write this down...what was his name again?"
Kennedy: "KEENNNNEEEEDDDEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH...."

[Jaton]

Wife: Gene, you forgot to take out the trash! AGAIN!
Snitsky: It wasn't..my fault.

[Nark Order]

Kid: "Dad, I need help on my homework. Who was the 35th president of the United States?"
Kennedy: "MISTEEERRRRRRRRRR...KENNEDY!!!"
Kid: "Wait, I need to write this down...what was his name again?"
Kennedy: "KEENNNNEEEEDDDEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH...."

Gold

[TerranRich]

Kid: "Dad, what's wrong? Oh no...not the..."
Edge: "ANGRYFACEAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!"
Kid: :'(

[Jaton]

Wife: Honey..let's make love.

-25.5 seconds later-

Benoit: 4REALLLLL!

[Jonster]

Kid: Hey! That's cheating, put the hotel back where it was!
Flair: Dirtiest player in the game!
Mrs Flair: Come on now...
Flair: WOOOOO!
All but Flair: Not again...

[Jaton]

Cop at pulled over car:
Cop: Why on earth were you driving that fast?
Christian: -slaps chest- cuz that's how I roll!

[Jaton]

Wow, this is turning into an everyday life thread. Damnit I suck at life.

[Innovator]

Son: Hey dad, we're best buds.

Edge: Yeah I'd say so son.

Son: Anyway this is my new girlfriend

Girlfriend: Hi!

Son: Hold on I left something in the car

*son leaves*

Edge: :naughty:

[TerranRich]

Stephanie: "Daddy, how likely is it that I can date a wrestler?"
Vince: "NO CHANCE IN HEEEELLLLLLLLLL..."
Shane: "Hey Dad, can I wrestle and do insane spots that'll make Jeff Hardy look like Bob Orton?"
Vince: "Sure."

[Jaton]

wtf

As soon as I read that one, I got spam from WWE. How in the hell am I getting spam from WWE?!

[Xero]

(X Pac's son is going through X Pac's video shelf...)

Son: Hmmm... Oh, here's something about China! Just what I need for my report!

(The son goes over to the VCR and turns it on...)

(Ten minutes later, X Pac walks in.)

X Pac: Hey guy, whatcha up... Oh no...

(The son is twitching looking at the screen.)

X Pac: SON! SPEAK TO ME! OH MY GOD! YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO SEE THAT! OH MY GOD!

Son: .................... YOU ARE ONE SICK FUCK!

[Jaton]

Son: Hey dad, we're best buds.

Edge: Yeah I'd say so son.

Son: Anyway this is my new girlfriend

Girlfriend: Hi!

Son: Hold on I left something in the car

*son leaves*

Edge: :naughty:

Son: Hey dad, we're like best friends, right?
Edge: Sure, you totally rock.
Son: Cool, I feel like I know you better than I know myself.
Edge: YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!!!!?!

[Nark Order]

Kid: DAD!! THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!!

Edge: Get over it!

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl:

Jaton and Terran have become like a great tag team or something. I can't rep you guys enough for that comedic gold. :lol:

Hell, great job to everyone, really. :y: :y:

[Corkscrewed]

Mrs. Saturn: Honey, can you mop the floor?
Perry Saturn: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Corkscrewed]

Booker T: Did you finish your homework?
Son: Yeah dad.
Booker T: Did you check it?
Son: I double checked it.
Booker T: How many times do I have to tell you, sucka. You gotta check that thing FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!!

[Corkscrewed]

Oh, and here's the obvious one...

Son: Hey dad, I need to do some research for my history report. Can I use the internet?
Brock: INTERNET??? KILLLLLL!!!!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

The Rock: Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?
His Wife: Smells like burnt chicken.
The Rock: Ah crap, I forgot to check the oven.

[Corkscrewed]

Son: Good night, dad.
Boogieman: No, it WON'T be a good night, because I'm... the BOOGIE man... and I'm gonna get you!!!

[TerranRich]

Kid: "Um, Dad...I crashed the car..."
Booker: "Tell me...you didn't just say that..."
Kid: "I did. Sorry, Dad."
Booker: "It's okay, to make up for it, you can do some chores. I need some weeding done in the garden."
Kid: "Okay, what should I do to the weeds?"
Booker: "CAN YOU DIG THAT, SUCKAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Kid: "Sure! Thanks for being so understanding, Dad! Oh! Also, I don't want to play little league anymore. I hate the other guys on the team..."
Booker: "Don't hate the Playas, hate the Game!"
HHH: :wtf:

[RemyRed]

Why is Triple H going :wtf: in that one?

[Xero]

Son: Dad, can I get a Game Boy?

Triple H: But you ARE the Game Boy.

Son: No, a Game Boy... To play games...

Triple H: Son, LeVesques don't play games, they ARE the games.

Son: ... *Sigh*... MOM...

Stephanie: Yes, 'Hunt?

Son: Mom, can I have a Game Boy for Christmas?

Stephanie: No problem!

(Christmas comes around...)

Son: OH! I BET I KNOW WHAT THIS IS!

Stephanie: I bet you do. :)

(Little Hunter opens it and stares at it.)

Stephanie: Well?

Son: I wanted a Game Boy, not an action figure of dad!

[Favre4Ever]

I'm kinda suprised no ones done this one yet.

Son: Hey Dad, I got my report ca-

Austin: What?

Son: I said I got my report car-

Austin: What?

Son: My repor-

Austin: WHAT?

Son: Look, Dad, can't we just-

Austin: What? What? What? What? What?

**Snatches report card and looks at it**

JR from the Kitchen: "Bah Gawd STUNNER!!!"

[LK]

*Eddie and his kid are playing a racing game on the playstation*

*Realising that he isn't going to win, Eddie smacks the controller out of his kid's hand and wins*

Kid: Hey!!!
Eddie: Orale vato, I lie, I cheat, I steal!!!

[Esoteric]

*kid runs home excited*
Kid: Mom I scored 5 touchdowns in my game the coach says I'm a school legend
*Kid gets RKO and Randy Orton poses over his body*
Randy Orton : Another legend killed.....uhhh son you still alive?

[Evolution]

RVD: Honey, this zit's in an awkward place and I can't pop it. Can you do it for me?
Wife: Sure. Where is it?
RVD: Right there.

*Points with thumbs*

Meh, I suck.

[Just John]

*Kids are bullying some other kid*


Batista: I HATE BULLIES! RAAAAH!

Kids: . . .




:rofl:


Batista: :'(


snitsky outta nowhere: It wasnt his fault!

[Jaton]

:y::D:y:
..
...
...
:n::mad::n:
GAH!!!:rant::rant::rant::rant:

[Corkscrewed]

*Eddie and his kid are playing a racing game on the playstation*

*Realising that he isn't going to win, Eddie smacks the controller out of his kid's hand and wins*

Kid: Hey!!!
Eddie: Orale vato, I lie, I cheat, I steal!!!

Kid: :mad:

Eddie: Awww... lemme tell you a bedtime story!

[Blue Demon]

*enter scene with Brooke Hogan and Date Jim at the front door*

Brooke: i had a gret time tonight, I hope we can do this again some time
Jim: me too, I had fun as well

*both lean in to kiss, when the door burst open to Hulk standing there in ring attire*

Hulk: *points to Jim* YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *finger wag of doom, big boot, leg drop*

[The One]

That's not as funny because Hogan actually does try to live his gimmick in real life.

What is it about Warrior, Savage, and Hogan...it's like if you were a big star in the 80's...

[Corporate Gr8 One]

Kid: Hey! That's cheating, put the hotel back where it was!
Flair: Dirtiest player in the game!
Mrs Flair: Come on now...
Flair: WOOOOO!
All but Flair: Not again...
Drops the elbow on Park Place.

[Corkscrewed]

Jake Jr.: G'night dad.

Jake the Snake Roberts: G'nite son. :) :naughty: *flips off the switch, then reaches into a bag*

NEXT MORNING

Jake Jr.: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY ABOUT PUTTING SNAKES IN MY BED??????

[Xero]

Eugene: YAAAAYYY! SEX! YAAAAYYYYY!
Wife: *Sigh*
Eugene: OH! OH! SHAAAZAAAMMM!

[Aussie Skier]

I'd hate to have Kane as my dad.

Mother: " Youd better not let your father hear you talking like that to me!!! "

Son: " He won't be home for another couple of hours anyways "

**Pyros burst around the house, music hits**

GOLD!

[Aussie Skier]

Son: SHUT UP, DAD, JUST SHUT UP!

Matt Hardy: I'LL SHOW YOU!

Son: Uh oh... :roll:

(Five minutes later...)

Dear MySpace,
My son hates me. I don't think I can continue living. He's acting like a feces.

LOL

[Aussie Skier]

Kid: "Dad, I need help on my homework. Who was the 35th president of the United States?"
Kennedy: "MISTEEERRRRRRRRRR...KENNEDY!!!"
Kid: "Wait, I need to write this down...what was his name again?"
Kennedy: "KEENNNNEEEEDDDEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH...."

TerranRich is too good!

[High Impact v.W.o]

lol, yeah Terran rules

[Aussie Skier]

Kid: Dad, Can I go to the park?
Macho Man: Oh Yeah!!!

[Impact!]

GOD DAMMIT AUSSIE_SKIER INSTEAD OF DOIN ALL THIS MAYBE YOU COULD GO PROMO. :mad:





:kiss:





:shifty:

[Xero]

Son: I hate you, dad!
Heidenreich: I don't know why my own son doesn't want to be my friend. :(
Son: OH SHUT- *BOOM*

And here's a visual... http://heidenboom.ytmnd.com/

[Impact!]

Kid: If you two are a gay couple where am I from?

Justin: Well you don't need to worry about that, because your not just the coolest.

Your not just the best.

Your...

Lance Storm: *sigh* from Calgery Alberta Canada

Justin: and your Just Incredible.

Kid:.........

[Aussie Skier]

Kid: "Hey dad, I need new shoes, my heels are starting to hurt"
Ric Flair: 'HEY, DON'T EVER USE OUR TERMINOLGY, THATS OUR TERMINOLGY, THATS WRESTLING TALK, DON'T EVER USE IT AGAIN!!!"
Kid: Geeze, I'm sorry dad. I didn't mean to. Come on, turn that frown upside down dad and put on a happy face.
Ric Flair: "WHY YOU...YOU JUST MAKE ME SO ANGRY, I JUST...I JUST WANNA...I JUST WANNA.....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kid: "oookay then. look, I'm going to my friend Mark's house."
Ric Flair: "WHO DO YOU HTINK YOU ARE USING WRESTLER'S TERMIONOLGY. YOU'RE A FAN, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! WHO THE HELL DO YOU ARE TALKING LIKE THAT!"
Kid: "Calm down dad, you'll pop a vein!"
Ric Flair: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Kid: "Dad, you're face is getting all red, is it the heat in this room?"

(Flair has enough and snaps on the figure four leg lock)
Ric Flair: "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You're nothing, not like me. A highflying, kiss-stealing son of a gun!"

[Impact!]

*Wife at dinner table*

Wife: Honey, the foods ready, you coming?

John Cena: THA CHAMP IS HURRRRRRRRRRR

[Impact!]

Doctor: And you're sure you want to go through with this?

Billy Gunn: Yes, coz I'm an Assman.

:shifty:

[Aussie Skier]

*Wife at dinner table*

Wife: Honey, the foods ready, you coming?

John Cena: THA CHAMP IS HURRRRRRRRRRR

i have the strangest feeling that John Cena actually says this

[Pinnacle Charisma]

Kurt Angle- Cmon Son get up its time to go to school

Son- Im sick. Ive got a cold.

Kurt Angle - I won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck. And to say that you cant go to school with a friggen head cold is an insult to everything I stand for.

[Just John]

i have the strangest feeling that John Cena actually says this

Yeah, me too

[Shadow]

Jeff Hardy's wife/gf: "Jeff, can you set the table, dear?"
Jefff: [stands on counter, points to head with two fingers, and flips backward onto table]
Wife/GF: :roll:

Thing is.....he's done this...

[Jaton]

:wtf:

[TerranRich]

Kid: "Where's Dad? Dad??? Oh...hey there's a message on the fridge. Let's see what it says... um... 'The Honky Tonk Dad has left the house! Thank you, you're a great audience.'. What the fuck?"

[Skippord]

Fat Kid: dad I want some pizza for dinner
Simon Dean:You sicken me you fat fuck
*Kid cries*
Simon:Here son drink this delicious Simon Shake and you'll be fit in no time

[Xero]

Black Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
(The kid runs to Brock Lesnar and hugs him...)
Brock: Umm...
Bobby Lashley: Oh, son, I'm over here!
Kid: Oh, sorry mister.
Brock: :wtf:
Bobby: Sorry, he's color blind...
Brock: Oh...

[Savio]

Black Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
(The kid runs to Bobby Lashley and hugs him...)
Bobby: Umm...
Monty Brown: Oh, son, I'm over here!
Kid: Oh, sorry mister.
Bobby: :wtf:
Monty Brown: POUNCE!!!!
Bobby: :wtf:

[Schoenauer]

Wife: Come on, let's go!
*five minutes pass after waiting in the car.*
Wife bursts through the door
Wife: God dammit Jeff!

[TerranRich]

D-Von's wife: D-VON!!!
D-Von: Yes, dear?
Wife: SET THE TABLE!!!!!!
D-Von: OOOOHHH, TESTIFY!!!

[TerranRich]

Vince: Didn't I tell you two to go to bed!! HUH!!!! WHY WON'T YOU DO AS I SAY!!! I'M VINCE McMAHON DAMMIT!!!!!
Steph: Yeah, and I'm Stephanie McMahon!
Shane: And I'm Shane McMahon!
Steph: Yeah, dammit! :p
Vince: ...
Steph: ...
Shane: ... [quietly] Oh shit, now you got him pissed...
Vince: :mad:

[Shadow]

Wife: Come on, let's go!
*five minutes pass after waiting in the car.*
Wife bursts through the door
Wife: God dammit Jeff!

Which Jeff moron?

[Schoenauer]

Jeff Hardy.

[Shadow]

Ok then...good boy...

[Shadow]

Wife: Come on, let's go!
*five minutes pass after waiting in the car.*
Wife bursts through the door, see's Jeff playing on the computer.
Wife: God dammit Jeff!

Now that's better.

[Pinnacle Charisma]

Accountant- So Mr.Copeland your son has to pay back his car loan by march next year will he be able to do that??


Edge- BANK ON IT

Son-Sigh

[Xero]

Son: Yeah, my dad is so cool..
Random kid: Nah, he isn't...
Son: Oh yeah? Hey dad!
Christian: Yeah?
Son: Where are we going for my birthday?
Christian: The Peep Show, of course!
Son: See?
Kid: ... I envy you.
Son: Of course you do... Because...
Christian and Son: That's how we roll! *Pounds chest*

[Impact!]

Son: Yeah, my dad is so cool..
Random kid: Nah, he isn't...
Son: Oh yeah? Hey dad!
Carlito: Yeah
Son: This kid is saying your not cool
Carlito: What, you think I'm not cool, I'll tell you who's not cool......YOU
Son: Yeah
Carlito: Show him what I tought you son.
*Carlito's son takes off his backpack and pulls out his lunchbox*
Carlito: :lol:
*Carlito's kid pulls out an apple from his lunchbox and takes a bite out of it*
Carlito::yes:
*Spit*
Carlito: :D I'm so proud of you

[Xero]

Vince: Okay, kids, we're finally going back to th--------------------------nd it's going to be a three hour special!
Shane: Huh?
Vince: I said we're--------------Network!
Stephanie: Uh, dad?
Vince: What?
Stephanie: Someone's bleeping you...
Vince: .... DAM-----SPIKE TV!!! D-----OU! THE----A NETWORK IS BE-----SPIKE TV! SPIKE TV SU-------AN---------RULES!

[Jaton]

Parent teacher conference in school

*The Rock, his son, and a teacher are all sitting in the class room in total silence while the Rock looks around..*
Teacher: Mr. Johnson, I wanted to---
*Rock puts his hand in her face*
Rock: Finally...the Rock...HAS COME BACK...to junior high.
Teacher: er uh, sure. Anyways, Mr. Johnson, I wanted to ---
Rock: KNOW YOUR ROLE, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You want to run your mouth about the Rock's son, you want to run your mouth about the People's Kid? You don't even have the decency to tell The Rock what your name is? What is your name?
Teacher: Mrs. Ta--
Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!
Teacher: :wtf:
Rock: Let The Rock ask you a question. Do you like pie?
Teacher: Yes
Rock: Just like The Rock thought.

[PorkSoda]

Son: I'm gonna show you my new rap. Daddy, give me a beat.
Tomko: ....no.

[TerranRich]

Son: Dad! Can you help me with my Geometry homework?
Austin: Sure, son.
Son: Okay...I can't figure this one out, here... Where is line AB on triangle ABC?
Austin: That's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold said so!
Son: Okay, so if my teacher asks, I'll tell her you said it was that!
Austin: OH HEEEELLLL... YEEAAAAHHH!!!
Son: :)

[St. Jimmy]

Kid: *sniff* oooh i smell waffles. *runs down the stairs into the kitchen*
Kid: WHAT THE FUCK?!
*Kid sees Lita face down on a waffle iron, pressing her head down*
Lita: See! I can't botch EVERYTHING!
Kid: oh... mom...
Edge: Lita, who's the kid?
Lita: *sizzle* uhm... i think it's Kane's....
Edge: No, can't be, too whiney,
Lite: Well, Matt Hard...
Edge: MATTHARDYZOMGRAWRRRRRRRRRRANGRYYYYYYYFACEEEEEEEE *SPEAR*
Kid: OOMMGGGI'MADOPTEDDDDDDD

[Schoenauer]

Another one from the guy who can't see his rep anymore.

Edge: Matt, it's a shame that you had to die on this day. In spite of all we've been through I--
*Matt Hardy gets up*
Lita: Matt?!
Matt: I told you! Matt Hardy will not die!
Edge: That's the last time I tell you to kill somebody Lita...

[corey99999]

son: dad i wanted to...

stone cold: WHAT!

son: I said...

Austin: WHAT!

Austin: WHAT WHAT WHAT.... throws son to the ground and starts stomping in his guts....

[corey99999]

eddie and his wife have an argument...wife turns her back eddie conks her out with a baseball bat...throws it to his daughter lies on the ground....

[TerranRich]

Son: Dad, can I watch TV now?
Daivari: ﻥﺩﺭﻜ ﻡﻻﺴ ﺩﻭﺭﻴﻤ ﺭﺎﻜﺒ ﻑﺭﻁﻥﺩﺭﻜ ﺍﺩﺼ ﻯﺍﺭﺒ ﻰﻨﻔﻠﺘ ﻯﻭﮔﺘﻔﮔ ﺭﺩ ﻩﻜ ﻯﺍ ﻩﻤﻠ ﻭﻠ!!!
Son: Oh, okay!

[Disturbed316]

Cop #1: Did you leave your child unattended whilst giving him a bath, leaving them to drown?
Woman: IT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT WAS HIS!
*point over to Snitsky*
Snitsky: *eating some chicken* IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

[Disturbed316]

Woman: *on phone* HELP POLICE! MY BABY....MY BABY!
Cop on phone: Whats wrong?
Woman: THE DINGO WARRIOR ATE MY BABY!
Warrior: Hmmmm babies :drool:

[Schoenauer]

Doctor: Congratulations. You are the proud father of a baby boy.
Rock: What's his name going to be?
Wife: His name is going to be--
Rock: It doesn't matter what his name is going to be you jabronis!

[Xero]

Kid: Hey, dad?
Funaki: Dad here, Rose Street NUMBA ONE FATHA!
Kid: You're not my dad.
Funaki: Yeah I am, I'm your fatha! THE NUMBA ONE FATHA!
*Hardcore Holly walks in.*
Holly: You pestering my kid?
Funaki: No sir, Mista Holly! I was just going... SMACKDOWN NUMBA ONE ANNOUNCA AWA- *POW*
Holly: Now, son, what did you want?
Kid: I wanted to know what you wanted me to do with this steak...
Holly: Just throw it on his face and let's go...

[Jaton]

Reps to everyone for the fantastic posts. I just spread rep around like aids.

[redoneja]

Kid: "Dad, where's the remote?"

Sabu:*does his Sabu pointing pose*

Kid: "Dad, I don't think its on the ceiling. Why won't you talk to me? You don't love me do you? You're such a fucking bad father!!! I HATE YOU:mad: :\'( !!!"

Sabu: *Does his Sabu pointing pose towards the stairs*

Kid: "I will not go to my room. I don't have to listen to you You're not my real father!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Detriot Free Press
Oct. 3, 2005
Wrestler puts son through flaming coffee table...

[Jaton]

-tears come to eyes- That was so beautiful. My side almost exploded, mainly just because I'm a huge Sabu mark.

[Corkscrewed]

Son: I hate you, dad!
Heidenreich: I don't know why my own son doesn't want to be my friend. :(
Son: OH SHUT- *BOOM*

And here's a visual... http://heidenboom.ytmnd.com/

ROFLMAO at the YTMND!!!

Yes, I bumped the topic just to say that. :shifty:

[Jaton]

Hey my topic was resurrected.

[RP]

Rob Conway : I'll be looking for a job soon.

No one who cares : Cool.

[Jaton]

Rob Conway : I'll be looking for a job soon.

No one who cares : Cool.

*more silence than Conway's entrance*

[Schoenauer]

Rob Conway : I'll be looking for a job soon.

No one who cares : Cool.

Employer: Tell me Mr. Conway... why should I consider hiring you?

Conway: Just look at me.

Employer: ooookay...

Conway: Ain't I a sight to see?

Employer: You're hired!!