Official Raw Thread 07/31/06-Unstoppable?

[Blitz]

http://www.wwe.com/content/media/touts/feature/29062/3112186

Will HBK be the one to stop Umaga?
July 31, 2006

What did Mr. McMahon say to his Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman on the phone last week on RAW? While we know his plan was to have Shawn Michaels face Coachman in a singles match, what else did he have planned?

With Triple H absent from the arena, and the Chairman at his daughter’s bedside while she was in labor, the remaining half of D-Generation X suffered, no doubt pleasing Mr. McMahon whether he had planned it or not. Was Umaga part of the Chairman’s plan to destroy DX? How will HBK and The Game react to Umaga’s interference? We'll find out when the Showstopper tries to stop Umaga in a one-on-one match on RAW.

Also tonight on RAW, the Legend Killer Randy Orton will apparently debut his brand new show, Orton Knows Best. No one knows what the show entails, but considering Orton's recent actions towards Hulk Hogan and the name of Hogan's own television show (Hogan Knows Best), you can only imagine what the Legend Killer has up his sleeve.

Also, John Cena’s hunger for another opportunity at the WWE Championship keeps growing. He showed WWE Champion Edge that he won’t quit until he’s reclaimed WWE gold. The Rated R Superstar was distraught after Cena pinned his tag team partner Johnny Nitro on RAW. Did Cena finally turn the tides on his rival, or will Edge figure out a way to strike back?

The Diva Search saw another finalist get stricken from the list. Maryse Ouellete was the second Diva Search finalist to exit the competition. After the Diva Search Musical Chairs that took place at Friday Night SmackDown, the pool of finalists will be cut to five Monday on RAW. Who will make it one step closer to being crowned the winner of the 2006 $250,000 Diva Search?

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Mick Foley will be on RAW to address Ric Flair’s obsession with getting a rematch. The Hardcore Legend has made it clear he has no plans to bother with the “Nature Boy,” so what will his announcement be about?

Also, there will be a Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship as Johnny Nitro defends his gold against Shelton Benjamin and Carlito.

Plus WWE.com has learned Monday night will be the debut of Orton Knows Best. What that will entail is a mystery at this point but with the blossoming rivalry between Orton and Hogan, it may not be pretty.

With SummerSlam rapidly approaching, the answers to these questions are crucial. RAW at 9/8 CT, live from the Continental Airlines Arena in New Jersey, is the only place the answers will be revealed.

[Blitz]

And it would appear, due to Raw in Canada beginning on the Score next week (one hour tape delay every week), this will be Blitz's last stand in the Raw Thread for the forseeable future :wavesad:

I can't say that I'll love you all forever, but I can say that I will like most of you for a reasonable amount of time.

[Team Sheep]

Blame Canada.

[Destor]

Orton knows best?

[Skippord]

You'll love me forever

[NeanderCarl]

Is there no Unlimited anymore??

[Blitz]

HERRRREE WEEEEEE GOOOOOO

[Blitz]

Gonna be a small thread tonight, I can tell.

[ClockShot]

Ummmm. Which thread is the official thread tonight?

[Blitz]

LOL at Orton Knows Best logo.

[Skippord]

This one

[Linkbowler]

Hmm. No ramp on the set tonight.

[ClockShot]

Much obliged Skip.

[Blitz]

LOL

Fuckup

[ClockShot]

Oops.....

[Blitz]

What the fuck?

[ClockShot]

Nah Shane. I think they got a rookie at the controls tonight.

[PullMyFinger]

um, wtf?

[The Answer]

LOL

Fuckup

Don't think so

[Linkbowler]

*cue placenta dropping from the ceiling*

[NeanderCarl]

So come on, whats the deal with Unlimited then? Have they stopped it?

[St. Jimmy]

ZEE ZAMOAN BULLDOZER!

[St. Jimmy]

:rofl: we're not jewish.

[Skippord]

LOL Jews

[ClockShot]

Where's Maury Povich with the DNA test?

[The Answer]

lol at that pic

[Skippord]

LOL Shawn

[St. Jimmy]

meh

[Skippord]

Haha

[St. Jimmy]

LOL.

[Linkbowler]

LOL HHBaby!

[ClockShot]

Damn. That's pretty much spot on.

[The Answer]

:rofl:

[Blitz]

LOL Shawn.

[St. Jimmy]

:wtf: shane?

[Skippord]

Hahaha Shane

[PullMyFinger]

LOL wth

[St. Jimmy]

This is interesting.

[ThruTheWire]

Someone in the back is going to be murdered.

[Blitz]

LOL.

Someone snuck some vodka into the production truck.

[The Answer]

lol maybe it is a rookie in the truck

[St. Jimmy]

Technical botch?

[NeanderCarl]

Did HHH give his one-week old daughter "nutritional advice" that basically implied sucking cock? Did he do that? Or did I mishear?

[PullMyFinger]

LOL LOL LOL the production was so shite

[St. Jimmy]

Carlito wins the belt.

[The Answer]

Did HHH give his one-week old daughter "nutritional advice" that basically implied sucking cock? Did he do that? Or did I mishear?

ya he did that's fucked :nono:

[NeanderCarl]

He did. He did do that.

[ClockShot]

Triple threat for the IC title :drool:

[St. Jimmy]

Did HHH give his one-week old daughter "nutritional advice" that basically implied sucking cock? Did he do that? Or did I mishear?

You do not have cock in your ears sir, you're dead on.

[ThruTheWire]

Is there no Unlimited anymore??

I completely forgot it was even there.

[Thriller]

Im surprised no one has said it yet but who let Lita in the truck?

[ThruTheWire]

Did HHH give his one-week old daughter "nutritional advice" that basically implied sucking cock? Did he do that? Or did I mishear?

No, he meant sucking steph's titties... pretty obvious I thought.

[St. Jimmy]

Too much cock on WWE TV.

[Team Sheep]

Booo no unlimited.

I think they originally fucked up with the music but then just tried to play it off with 'mind games.' :lol:

[Hanso Amore]

jesus, its going to be a long night....but a short career for the production truck.

[ThruTheWire]

I fucking hate the Miz.

[St. Jimmy]

they finally got Poochy a Telepromter.... Wow. "Jen" is mashing her tits to the extreme.

[PullMyFinger]

The Miz should kill himself.

[Blitz]

LOL at Jen. All she does is copy Ashley.

[UmbrellaCorporation]

I :heart: Carlito's shirt.

[Blitz]

Eat Spit :wtf:

[Blitz]

And the writing looks like semen.

[St. Jimmy]

Ain't NO JOBBIN ME NOW!

[PullMyFinger]

Can JR stop saying controversial every damn time???

[The Answer]

No, he meant sucking steph's titties... pretty obvious I thought.

You see the whole "suck it" phrase when they say it means obviously they other thing. It's messed, horrible writing

[ClockShot]

Fuck off J.R. Shelton is NOWHERE NEAR Terrell Owens.

[St. Jimmy]

if you listen closely... you can hear KorinKhan in the background...
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapvibeeeeeeeeeeeefapfapfapfapfapfap*

[Hanso Amore]

Yeah, lots of people duplicate a diva that stumbles across a planned promo and has been on Tv for 3 weeks.


worthless titties

[Skippord]

SB=TO?

[NeanderCarl]

How long has Unlimited been out of the equation then? I missed Raw for about two weeks, come back and it's gone!

[St. Jimmy]

OW! Baseball slide to the head of Nitro.

[ClockShot]

if you listen closely... you can hear KorinKhan in the background...
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapvibeeeeeeeeeeeefapfapfapfapfapfap*

Thanks St. Jimmy. I was trying to make it through the show without reading that name.:nono:

[Jaton]

Nitro got owned.

[Team Sheep]

nice from Shelton

[St. Jimmy]

I seriously would mark out if someone called a fucking Wrestling Match on WWE TV...

[Team Sheep]

JR says thanks to TSN. Awww Canada.

[ThruTheWire]

How long has Unlimited been out of the equation then? I missed Raw for about two weeks, come back and it's gone!

Not sure, it's no big loss though since anything worth seeing on unlimited was played right after the commercial.

[St. Jimmy]

Thanks St. Jimmy. I was trying to make it through the show without reading that name.:nono:

You can't NOT make the obvious running gag. It's a crime. :love:

[St. Jimmy]

Raw Thread isn't that hot tonight. Last week it was fuckin' booming... Say... Where the fuck is AZ?

[Blitz]

Nice kick.

[Jaton]

That's because of the state of Raw.

[Blitz]

FUCK THE SCORE

[St. Jimmy]

Which of our Canadian friends are saying goodbye tonight?

[Blitz]

God JR. Just stop.

[Hanso Amore]

it took 5 minutes into the first match for JR to refer to something as modified (insert move here)

[St. Jimmy]

.... OMG.... JR + Pop Culture = Don West Throat Warbles.

[ClockShot]

Nice spot right there.

[Blitz]

Nice bump Nitro.

[Blitz]

Which of our Canadian friends are saying goodbye tonight?
Me?

[NeanderCarl]

Not sure, it's no big loss though since anything worth seeing on unlimited was played right after the commercial.

True but now the ad breaks are just boring. Raw is usually 40% replays anyway. ANYTHING that happens of note usually gets a replay.

WWE boasts about how much original programming they have to produce each week, but in a 2 hour Raw broadcast, you must have 25 minutes of commercials (a ridiculous amount), 5-10 minutes of old material (This Week In History, feud recaps etc.) and then when you add it all up, there MUST be 10-15 minutes of replays throughout the show of events that occurred only minutes prior.

[St. Jimmy]

I seriously wish they had room on the SS card for a Carlito/Nitro 30 Min Ironman.

[ClockShot]

Wow. Nitro retains. Fair match to kick off the show.

[Blitz]

So I suppose we'll be seeing this match over and over for the next few weeks.

[NeanderCarl]

What is the Diva Search song?

[Blitz]

I fucking hate Layla.

[Linkbowler]

Does Nitro actually have a finisher, or is he just using the rollup/tights pull?

[ClockShot]

AHHHH. HOGAN COLORS!

[St. Jimmy]

We're going to have Diva Search bumps all night? Jesus christ.

[Blitz]

Gee, I wonder who will win that match :|

[Skippord]

I hate Layla El

[Hanso Amore]

Striker against Cena?! I cannot believe he is allowed off heat!


he will get crushed though, and I can't understand why.

[Skippord]

What is the Diva Search song?
Terrible

[Team Sheep]

What is the Diva Search song?

The All American Rejects - Move Along

[St. Jimmy]

Striker against Cena?! I cannot believe he is allowed off heat!


he will get crushed though, and I can't understand why.

Because he's facing the "WWE's biggest face". Striker might win VIA Edge run in, to continue Cena's Cleanly-Undefeated streak.

[The Answer]

This Orton segment will be gold

[Blitz]

NO Todd Grisham on the Canadian Event Calendar

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

[Team Sheep]

The usual Cena destroys his opponent to send a message to Edge before the PPV.

[NeanderCarl]

The All American Rejects - Move Along

Diolch yn fawr.

[Hanso Amore]

Because he's facing the "WWE's biggest face". Striker might win VIA Edge run in, to continue Cena's Cleanly-Undefeated streak.


Everytime Cena wins, part of me dies

[Batsu]

The Photoshops earlier (except that HHH one) = gay.

Shelton kicks ASS.
Nitro actually did a standing SSP? That kicked ass.
Carlito.... is COOL.

Somehow, this three-way dance for the title is the highlight of Raw every week.

Let's hope we see a FLYING RKO OF DOOM tonight.

[St. Jimmy]

What is the Diva Search song?

HOO-RAH!

[Team Sheep]

Diolch yn fawr.

Dim problem. :D

[Hanso Amore]

Orton has a new theme it sounded like

[ClockShot]

Time for the Debut of Orton Knows Best.:y:

[St. Jimmy]

Orton's shirt looks like a clusterfuck of Goth Vomit.

[Linkbowler]

Nice monkey

[ClockShot]

WHOA! BROOKE'S HOT!

[NeanderCarl]

That's a good lookalike

[Blitz]

Fake Brooke is hotter than Real Brooke.

[Batsu]

LMFAO!! Is that EDGE?!!

[St. Jimmy]

This is a fucking commercial for Hogans show...

[Hanso Amore]

was that maryse?

[Skippord]

Who will get RKO'd

[St. Jimmy]

Fake Brooke is hotter than Real Brooke.

[The Answer]

:rofl: That looks like a skinny version of hogan, spitting image of him

[Blitz]

What in God's name is JR talking about?

[ClockShot]

Shit. HBK should have put on the make-up one more time.

[Skippord]

Fake Brooke is hotter than Real Brooke.
:y:

[Batsu]

Fake Brooke is hotter than Real Brooke.

Yep.

[St. Jimmy]

Who will get RKO'd

The Monkey.

[ClockShot]

That fake nick sounded like.....Bishchoff.....

[Hanso Amore]

this is fucking terrible

[Skippord]

The Monkey.
I'd mark out

[Blitz]

Seriously, that girl is smokin'

[Batsu]

LMFAO @ that fake Hogan!!

[The Answer]

:rofl:

[St. Jimmy]

LMAO. Good impression.

[PullMyFinger]

Funny voice impression - but this segment is a snooze.

[The Answer]

That will be Hogan at 70

[Skippord]

Seriously, that girl is smokin'
I'd fucking fuck it

[Hanso Amore]

this is getting diva search level reaction

[St. Jimmy]

Dude. Don't say "Reality Check"... Miz might come out.

[ClockShot]

Good impression.

[St. Jimmy]

I'd fucking fuck it

fuck yeah, motherfucker.

[Blitz]

Diamond Cutter!!!!!!

[ClockShot]

YES!!!!!!

[St. Jimmy]

That - was a fucking awesome RKO.

[Skippord]

Fucking Orton gets to make out with the hot chick

[The Answer]

Orton kissed a girl without shitting in her bag :y: .

[Blitz]

Doesn't even open the fucking ropes for her :nono:

[St. Jimmy]

I wonder how much politicing Orton had to do to get that chick to kiss him.

[Hanso Amore]

somebody let edge know orton stole his shirt

[St. Jimmy]

:rofl: lawler got decked.

[Skippord]

Orton Vs King next week

[Johnny Vegas]

CHEAP SHOT..fucking jew

[ClockShot]

YES! ESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTRADA!

[St. Jimmy]

*MARK* ESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTRADAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Skippord]

YAY ARMANDO ALEJANDRO ESTERRRRRRRRAAAAADA

[Blitz]

Yessss, Armando.

[The Answer]

ARMANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALEJANDROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ESTRADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDA

[NeanderCarl]

*****POSSIBLE SPOILER*****
Highlight:
Am I to assume that all the "Hulk Hogan is backstage at Raw" talk from today was a case of mistaken identity then? The reporters mistook the lookalike for the REAL Hulk?? Unless Orton comes back out later and then Hogan makes an appearance?

[Johnny Vegas]

ARMANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALEJANDROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ESTRADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDA

Might have to go in the sig

[ClockShot]

You know, the first time Estrada hit TV, I thought of him as the guy who can get you Cuban cigars. Guess the guy got connections.

[Hanso Amore]

I was hoping that Orton hit Lawler for real. How great would that be, just deck him and lawler would take it because he would have to play it off like it was real. Of course Orton would get suspended probably, but shit, I want to hit lawler so much

[Team Sheep]

Vince used to smoke. :eek:

[ClockShot]

*****POSSIBLE SPOILER*****
Highlight:
Am I to assume that all the "Hulk Hogan is backstage at Raw" talk from today was a case of mistaken identity then? The reporters mistook the lookalike for the REAL Hulk?? Unless Orton comes back out later and then Hogan makes an appearance?

Yeah. He's there already. It's in the news forums somewhere.

[Blitz]

I thought Nick was the Miz for a sec.

[Skippord]

Me too

[St. Jimmy]

So that ECW commercial basically says "Angle v.s Chimpy (CM Punk)" tomarrow.

[NeanderCarl]

I thought Nick was the Miz for a sec.

Seconded.

[St. Jimmy]

God, the replay of that makes lawler look like a bitch. :love:

[Schoenauer]

Same here Blitz.

[St. Jimmy]

No... No... No more lawler matches...

[Linkbowler]

Great. Orton gets his push killed.

[Blitz]

I can't believe that chick used to be a teacher.

[Skippord]

Erica sounded blazed

[St. Jimmy]

... that was so... bland... nice tits... so bland. GOD I HATE TORRIE'S MUSIC.

[ClockShot]

I got bad, I got it bad, I got it bad, I'm hot for teacher!

Wait a minute, I'm not supposed to care about the diva search. My bad.

[Skippord]

Erica is my favorite

[NeanderCarl]

Haven't we had Lawler vs Orton in the past?

[Blitz]

When did Candice turn face :wtf:

[St. Jimmy]

I don't like Candice as a face. She's funny... but she's better as a Heel Bitch.

[St. Jimmy]

When did Candice turn face :wtf:

The DX BBQ: Oral Under the Table promo.

[NeanderCarl]

Thought Victoria was out of action with an injury?

[Skippord]

What the hell was that all about JR

[St. Jimmy]

UGH. JR just made a referance about Rosie O Donnel, Sienfeld, and a gay joke in one sentance and it still was fucking horrible.

[St. Jimmy]

Finlay's work is showing with Candice. I'm almost entertained by her minimal wrestling.

[Blitz]

Haven't we had Lawler vs Orton in the past?
Are you inferring that WWE would dare repeat something from the past?

[Blitz]

Seriously, whoever decided JR needs pop culture references should be murdered.

[St. Jimmy]

Are you inferring that WWE would dare repeat something from the past?

BiZzArO! bIzZaRo!

[Hanso Amore]

trish may never do a chop again

[St. Jimmy]

Mickie :kiss:

[Blitz]

Rep for Jimmy.

[Linkbowler]

BOTCH! DRINK!

[ClockShot]

Was that a botched Stratusfaction?

[Johnny Vegas]

lol wow, that was TOO botched

[St. Jimmy]

o_ o I would pay this cameraman double for his work today.

[ClockShot]

FOLEY IN DA HOUSE!

[Skippord]

Did Trish just grab Candice's ass

[Blitz]

LOL Nitro.

"Keep it sexy"

[St. Jimmy]

Mick finally gets to do something with Melina.

[Blitz]

That just may become my new catchphrase.

[Blitz]

Also, I missed the botch, what happened.

[Batsu]

That ending was a botchfest... but man, what a powerbomb.

[Team Sheep]

Lol Nitro's gay.

[Skippord]

Nitro-Foley-Melina-Edge new Evolution?

[St. Jimmy]

did they have Negro's in the 1950's?

[ThruTheWire]

Nitro-Foley-Melina-Edge new Evolution?

And Lita does what?

[St. Jimmy]

LMAO. Saved by the bell.

[Hanso Amore]

Nitro-Foley-Melina-Edge new Evolution?


That is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. What tie to evolution at all do they have? Why can't they just be a new group? Can anyone form a team without someone claiming they are the new (insert old group that has nothing to do with them here)

"OMGZ VISCERA AND HAAS ARE A TEAM! MAYBE THEY ARE THE NEW DUDES WITH ATTITUDE! Leetzor!"

[Skippord]

And Lita does what?
Random Men

[St. Jimmy]

10 to 1, Flair isn't in the building.

[St. Jimmy]

Flair and Foley Vs. The Nazi Squad?

[ClockShot]

Random Men

Winner!:rofl:

[Skippord]

That is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. What tie to evolution at all do they have? Why can't they just be a new group? Can anyone form a team without someone claiming they are the new (insert old group that has nothing to do with them here)

"OMGZ VISCERA AND HAAS ARE A TEAM! MAYBE THEY ARE THE NEW DUDES WITH ATTITUDE! Leetzor!"
Yeah, I didnt mean a new Evolution persay I meant a new stable like Evolution

[Batsu]

This is funny. Melina and Foley. I dunno why... and they're booing the hell out Bush, LMFAO!

[Blitz]

LMAO.

I love Foley.

[Hanso Amore]

if only they could transplant Foley's brain into Shelton benjamins body....

[Skippord]

I also love Foley

[ClockShot]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CAR PAYMENTS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[ThruTheWire]

if only they could transplant Foley's brain into Shelton benjamins body....

...

[St. Jimmy]

JR, Mick also sat next to you and said that "he was going to put on the biggest stinkeroo ever". I miss Joey Styles... FUCK - I Miss COACH.

[Skippord]

I also Hate Ric Flair as much as I love Foley

[St. Jimmy]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CAR PAYMENTS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

:rofl:

[ThruTheWire]

Ric Flair is gold.

[ClockShot]

Captain Jack Mick Foley....

WHOA WHOA WHOA! AGAIN WWE, LAY OFF A-ROD!

[St. Jimmy]

... Flair is seriously starting to scare me.

[Blitz]

Flair's patented "Off the medication" promo :y:

[Hanso Amore]

Flair lost me 3 months ago

[Batsu]

Flair must be adlibbing. He broke out the Goddammits, the Bruiser Brody and all of that....

[St. Jimmy]

dude, Race vs. Foley would be fucking genius.

[Skippord]

... Flair is seriously starting to scare me.
And now he is a Vampire

[St. Jimmy]

Flair is C-Fed gold tonight.

[Johnny Vegas]

Damn, Flair is GOLD...fuck that, PLATINUM

[ClockShot]

Flair's patented "Off the medication" promo :y:

Yeah man, they better have the strecher ready and the paddles charged to 200. He's ready to have a stroke or something.

[Blitz]

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Flair's gone.

[ThruTheWire]

I would love to see Flairy.

[St. Jimmy]

Flair is just Upstaging Hogan, that's all.

[St. Jimmy]

LMAO.... WTF.....

[Blitz]

This promo wins.

[Skippord]

What the fuck?

[Johnny Vegas]

LOL Ric Flair is Wild'n out tonight!

[Skippord]

LMAO Flairy

[Hanso Amore]

Look at Foley, he is freaked...

[St. Jimmy]

Flair looks like he just shit himself... this is the best segment of the year.

[ClockShot]

"Captain Jack, will get ya high tonight,
And take ya to, your special island,
Oh Captain Jack, will get ya high tonight,
Just a little push, and you'll be smiling."

[Batsu]

FLAIR RULES. That rambling of his, is classic!

[St. Jimmy]

WOO!

[Batsu]

LOL!!! FOLEY!

[Skippord]

Flairy has gone psycho