RAW Captions 2/9/2004 [Archive]

Evolution

02-10-2004, 06:57 PM

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Not even Vinnie Mack can get Goldberg to understand that he is allowed to use more than three moves.

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Paul: "You're a homo!"
Steve: "Paul's bald patch makes one helluva mirror."
Vince: "So this is where I'll be when dhiorrhea catches up."

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Trish: *thinks* "I wonder if this is when the photographer chooses to photo me..."

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The women's version of DX goes wrong when the opponent actually does "Suck It"

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As the lava flows from backstage, Trish grabs hold of Sean O'Haire's cage and hoists herself and Molly to safety.

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No wonder Stacey looks fed up, the guys are lost in each OTHERS eyes!

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Chris: "Earl, he's biting me!"
Earl: "...and in conclusion, I DIDN'T screw Bret!"
Chris: "I get it! I don't CARE!"

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As the glass ceiling collapses, not even Ric Flair is spared.

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Chris: "I swear if you move your right hand any higher Ric..."

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Triple H: "Welcome to the booking committee meeting. Lets get it started shall we? Ok, if you insist, I WILL hold the title for 3 more years. Meeting adjourned."

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Triple H: "Where are your clothes, Chris?"
Chris: "Why is your hair clean, boss?"

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Now came the ultimate humiliation. Chris Benoit was to sing Shawn's "Sexy Boy" Theme AND watch him catwalk to it!

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Here we see Chris Benoit training for his WrestleMania match, or the ending thereof.

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Shawn: "So I'll just conveniently bend over while Hunter walks behind me, oh wait, we're in the ring.":$

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Triple H: "You nimrod Shawn. Control yourself for 3 minutes, PLEASE! You animal!"

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Kane still hasn't quite grasped the "Version 1" taunt.

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Kane: "Oooo, year 2000 flashback, chokeslamming a skinny runt in green and black? X-Pac?"

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Kane: "I give up, what DO you see with your little eye down there Steven?"

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Mick: "I don't know why I'm here, but I get paid no matter what so... Triple H sucks!"
Triple H (Off-Screen): "Memo to me, memo to me, bury Mick after Randy's finished with him."

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Mick: "Ric you joker, I can't be buried by Triple H! He doesn't have the arm strength to dig a big enough hole!"

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Randy: "That doesn't mean he cant cover you in debris, numbnuts!"

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RVD: "But I thought I only had to suck Hunter's dick to stay on TV."
Batista: "Oh the times they are a-changin'!"

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As the giant tarantula emerges from Booker T's skull, Randy knows that he, is next.

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RVD: "Don't aim the butt cannon at me you idiot!"

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Ref: "You put your arms like this and that's "Y", then bring them to a point above your head and thats "M"..."
Randy: "I get it! I get it!"

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All: "We are Evolution, and we can all nearly stand on one foot!"

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Randy: "Hey, this guy don't got no ear!"
Mick to himself: "And it appears YOU don't have a grammar book!"

These probably all suck, but I'm too tired to care.

Fryza

02-10-2004, 07:24 PM

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Goldberg's reaction to Vince teaching him the meaning of "putting over."

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(DAMMIT! I'm the one that started the Diarrhea jokes, let me kill them.)

Paul pointed out that Goldberg had been standing like that for some time. While Austin pondered, Vince was checking out the lovely woman in the audience. Turned out it was just a guy with long hair.

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Trish wondered if her breasts were holding her down.

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Not able to do a choke hold, Trish tried a "Smother" hold.

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*Insert Molly carrying Trish joke here*

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Jackie: Wait..you're name isn't Lance?

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Earl picked the worst time for Shadow Puppets.

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The new Canade-N-Boy recliner was a hit, at least with Flair.

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Flair went to counter with a shot to the back of Benoit's head with his own foot, but things didn't turn out as planned, when he tapped. Foiled again.

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Hunter was hesistant to sign the Title Divorce papers.

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Chris had fallen for the Look of Job. Once you've looked into Hunter's eyes long enough, you will lose (as stated in all contracts).

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Chris: No...Shawn, you are NOT "Short and Stout."

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Chris practices for WMXX.

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Shawn was amazed as the contract read the follow:

I WILL JOB TO HUNTER I WILL JOB TO HUNTER I WILL JOB TO HUNTER ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US I WILL JOB TO HUNTER.

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Whenever Hunter found out he had to lose the title for a few days, he always laughed to hide his saddness.

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Kane looks as both men are still out on the outside, and he gives them the ten count. Now, if he could only count...

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Here's a prime example of why stoners shouldn't be refs.

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Where will you be when you're diarrhea acts up as you're being nailed to the invisble crucifix and your hemroids flare?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

Mick was a little upset when his right hand formed a Halo over it. This would make masterbation alot creepier.

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Flair: And then I said: "Hey Mark, can you get this candy bar out of the machine?" and he stuck his arm up, and, well, you get it.
Foley: Haha, classic.

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Randy: HOLY SHIT! Mick! I mean, this the second time! We got here just to see Steven Richards leave!

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Orton displays his version of the "Flying Teabag."

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Orton: Okay....I've seen Goldberg do this a hundred times...I just run into him, and pray for the best...

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Here we see Booker about to throw a Randy Orton at RVD.

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The ref thought it be cool to do the poses like this, but he forgot about the whole blood loss Orton would have.

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Evolution's RiverDance was lackluster to say the least.

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Randy: OMG! Richards...He...HOLY SHIT! ARE YOU OKAY MICK!

Vega

02-10-2004, 07:34 PM

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Yada yada..title shot...house shows..guest apprearance...yeah this new contract looks goo- WHAT THE HECK? FINAL FANTASY X2 PROMOTION?

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Whoa...That must have been some party.

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RANDY: Booker, Don't move. There is a gigantic spider that landed on the back of your skull.

BOOKER: What? Where? AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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FOLEY: So Flair, are you really paid in mud?
FLAIR: What?
FOLEY: That's what it says on the back of your shirt.
MARK HENRY (in background): hahahaha, SWEET REVENGE
FLAIR: Yeah, nice one Mark.
BATISTA: Mark...what the hell are you wearing?
MARK HENRY: A scuuba outfit. Didn't you get the memo that the next place we are doing a show in has to be swam to?
FLAIR: Oh yeah, we better get going or we are going to be late!
MARK: *Looks at watch* DAMN! You guys are gonna be late! *runs off*

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And the winner for this year's best impersonation of Kevin Nash goes to...RANDY ORTON!

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HHH was pleased. Not only was every raw superstar in the ring, but they were already on their knees.

Nowhere Man

02-10-2004, 07:43 PM

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Vince: Hold on, hold on there, Bill. You've still got a couple of months to wait until Benoit's over enough for you to permenently injure.

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Austin and Vince watch in amazement as Paul Heyman uses the E.T. glowing-finger to give Goldberg more talent.

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Trish: Yeah, yeah, cleavage, whatever. Here ya go, perv.

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The referee was too busy doing the Running Man to notice Molly applying the dreaded Argentinian Thumb Bite of Death.

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Molly and Trish weren't too excited about their new gimmick, but "Master and Blaster 2K4" did surprisingly well.

*rep to the first guy to get this*

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"So, ummm....just who the hell are we again?"

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Earl: Okay, Earl, you can do it this time. Don't call for the bell, don't call for the bell, don't--
*calls for the bell*
Dammit!

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Chris "The Human Lawn Chair" Benoit couldn't help but wonder if his new gimmick was some sort of punishment.

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Once again, Benoit proves he has the most violent "Guess Who?" in all of wrestling.

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HHH: "It's going to take a while to finish booking all of Raw around myself for the next six months. Eric! Go get me some coffee."
Eric: "Yes sir, Mr. Ryzin."
HHH: "What was that?!"
Eric: "Nothing, sir."

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Chris wasn't sure which was worse: being buried by HHH, or watching him give the microphone a big sloppy kiss in the middle of his promos.

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Chris: *sigh* Hey, macarena, macarena, macarena....
HBK: Faster, damn you! Faster!

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Despite HHH's insistance that it would be awesome, Chris "The Human Red Carpet" Benoit just didn't get over.

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HBK: Soooo, let's take a look at the card for Wrestlemania. Chris Benoit....Rob Van Dam.....Booker T...../tsk tsk* soemone get me an eraser!

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HHH couldn't help but laugh when Benoit's jobbing gland kicked in. Apparently, it's a problem with most Canadians.

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It became painfully obvious that Kane wasn't even trying anymore when he'd call for the beer guy in the middle of a match.

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Kane was sort of embarassed. Helms COMPLETELY missed the flying Dragonrana that time!

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As if Isaac Yankem or Diesel 2 wasn't bad enough, Glenn "Thinks the walls are closing in on him" Jacobs was the final nail in the coffin.

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Mick bitch-slaps Steven Richards for interrupting his promo.

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Mick: So what do you think of the new guys, Ric?
Ric: Are you kiddin' me? They've got me teaming up with this guy Batista, and he can barely pull off a single move!
Mick: Oh, man! That's Vince for ya.
Batista: Umm....I'm right here, guys.
Ric: Shut up, Randy. I'm talking with a grown-up here.
Batista: I'm not Randy. I'm Batista.
Ric:......oh.

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Randy: Wow, Mick must've REALLY wanted those cheese curls!

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Orton is suddenly possessed by the spirit of Austin and levels RVD with a Thesz Press. Many beers and middle fingers follow.

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Not satisfied with being a "Legend Killer" solely in wrestling, Orton decides to go after legends in comedy too. Poor Whoopi never saw it coming.

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Booker and RVD take the Dudleys' "Whazzup" headbutt to a whole new level.

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In true Evolution-member fashion, Orton gets a crippling knee injury simply by being declared the winner.

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Evolution would never be able to get over as a legit stable until they could get the tap dancing routine together.

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Orton just didn't get it. Calling someone a homo wasn't really all that effective unless they were awake to hear it.

Innovator

02-10-2004, 07:54 PM

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Vince: .....Benoits gonna beat HHH.........clean....middle of the ring..
Goldberg: ...Things that will never happen!
Ref: correct!

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Bald guy Russian Roulette was a big ratings hit

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg

An even bigger hit, Cleavage shot Ironman Match!

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The ref saw his opportunity for the pantsing of a lifetime

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Leave it to the women to hold up the glass ceiling

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Mark: I get them! They're mine!
Jackie: ........who are you?

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HHH thought Benoit's hair was getting long, so he had Flair do some scalping

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Flair misunderstood HHH when he said hold Benoit down

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Benoit: ADMIT IT!!! ADMIT IT!!!
Flair: OK I HAVE C'S!

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Bischoff knew HHH wouldn't give up the belt.....it called to him...
HHH: ...preciousssss....

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HHH: This is how you make love to the mic!

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Benoit challenges HBK to the only way he knows how to win, a walkoff

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Benoit's mime performance went over with HHH well

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HBK: Wait wait wait, it says here that I have to wear staph's suit as well
Bischoff: Sorry Shawn you know the rules

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg

HHH smiled, right until Steven Richards gave him the pantsing of a lifetime!

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Kane unveiled his best dance move, the statue of liberty

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Hurricane was going for a tornado ddt, but was blinded by the glare off the glass ceiling

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WWE logo had it rough, Kane wasn't taking the High Endurance Challenge

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

God like Mick's statue of liberty better

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Mick: ....OH Evolution, man I just got it, good name

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Randy: No Micks been shot again! Who did this to you Mick?!
Mick: .......
Batista: Mick answer him!

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Worst. backbody drop. ever.

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Randy: My spider sense is going off
Booker: For the last time you're not Spider-man
Randy: Nuh uh! HHH said I was!

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RVD unveils his new move, the Van HHHinator

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Winner ... and still not having to pay his dues...Randy Orton!

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Evolution can't help it, when Cher comes on they gotta cut loose

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Randy: I told you that prune smoothie was a bad idea!

El Santo

02-10-2004, 07:56 PM

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Molly and Trish weren't too excited about their new gimmick, but "Master and Blaster 2K4" did surprisingly well.

*rep to the first guy to get this*

Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderdome.

:naughty:

Mr. Monday Morning

02-10-2004, 08:18 PM

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As a token of friendship, Vince offered Goldberg a complimentary cardboard cutout referee.

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The annual meeting of the Hair Loss In America club came to order

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Much to the delight of cleavage afficionados everywhere, Rhyno struck again

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Thumb to the eye? Not in today's modern wrestling environment my friend. Nipples all the way.

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Molly was astounded. For some reason she could hear the ocean...

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"Dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"God I hope so"
"I *thought* I made myself clear in Boston" (Simpsons ref.)

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Chris didn't really have time to play pattycake with Earl

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And here we witness one of the lesser known hazing rituals - the swearing in of a new main eventer by forcefully allowing Earl Hebner to blow him. Benoit wasn't keen, but Flair was on hand to restore order.

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And now the post initiation celebrations begin, with a rather more complicated version of pin the tail on the donkey.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

The new 'HHH and Friends' segment wasn't going too well.

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"What the hell, you never told me about any blowjob initiation!"
"I'll give you a hint why I've held this belt for so long - this nose ain't just for show pal!"

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"Shawn, please, what the hell is going on? All this talk about blowjobs and noses and God knows what else...this is just a rib right?"

*Awkward silence*

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The sight of HHH's bare ass is something no man was ever meant to see.

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"Ok lemme see here - put self over, check. Depush Benoit, check. Have subtly homoerotic verbal exchange with Hunter, check."

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Unfortunately for the viewers at home, HHH thought the commercial break was on as he slowly started to unbutton his shirt...the resulting dance display drew a record number of complaints.

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Kane checked his progress on the monitor. A little further to the left, and he could pretend to be squeezing that woman's breasts!

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Try as he might, Kane couldn't stop Hurricane's people from reclaiming him in order to take him back to Hurriworld, where the cruiserweights roamed free and titles didn't matter.

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It was hard work holding up the glass ceiling, but someone had to do it.

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"Sorry Chris but as part of the initiation you're gonna have to come out here and listen to me read from my new book."

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"Hey Rikishi, you really lost weig...oh my God, Ric I'm so sorry."

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Mick would do anything to avoid hearing another one of Randy's Janet Jackson jokes.

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"HEYA ROB HOW ARE YA BUDDY?!"
"Jeez Randy, switch to decaf already."

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Johnny Vaughan eyed up his next victi...errrr guest (UK TV ref.)

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Emergency measures had to be implemented after Orton's boots became untied.

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The referee helped Orton practise for his forthcoming Playgirl shoot.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg

Coming soon on Confidential: Wrestlers, and the clothes they sleep in.

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"Hey Mick, did you hear the one about Justin Timberlake and Ja...Mick? Mick? Miiiiick? Mick?...Mick?"

Cage21

02-10-2004, 08:26 PM

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Vince: Since A-Train shaved I will give you his gimmick of being the WWE version of...Grizzly Adams!

Goldberg: Who?

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Goldberg: I should'a never took this job.

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Trish: Well...my job's safe.

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Ref: Man! What...a...view.

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Trish: Sean...grab my hand...I can get you out!!

OR

Annoucner voice over: Hot...wet...bitches...

(reps to anybody who gets that)

(((Btw: Master Blaster = Kevin Nash's old gimmick. Mastler Blaster Steel)))

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Jindrak: Cade, what are we doing tonight?
Cade: The same thing we do everynight Mark?
Jindrak: Stare endlassly into each others eyes?
Cade: No...we're going to...take over the WORLD!

*cue pinky and the brain music*

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Benoit: Ric...for the last time...you're not Ozzy Osbourne and I'm not a dove!!

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Ric: Ah...comfy.

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Chris: I have to fart.

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HHH: Let's see...who should I hold down this year.

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HHH: You're going to put me over, understand!
Benoit: And I was trained by Hart too...

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Benoit's bad attempt at singing the macarena and Shawns even worse attempt at doing it.

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Shawn: Ahh..what the ehll, I'll take his pay raise.

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HHH: Only if I squash you.

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Kane give's God(Vince) an imaginary handshake in hopes of getting one more title run......when he's 80 and HHH crokes.

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Kane: THIS is how you chokeslam somebody.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg

Kane: Now roll your shoulders back. And that concluedes the stretching portion of this workout...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

Mick: Let's face it...not even I can get Orton over. Sorry Trips.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg

Ric: Randy IS going to get over.
Mick: Yea, and pigs will fly.
Batista: *grunt*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

Nope...still ain't working.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg

RVD: Sorry dude...but I can't even carry you to a decent match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg

Randy(desperately): What about the spider?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg

Rob "the flying gynocoligist(sp?)" Van Dan and Booker "The Human Sturup" T...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg

Your winner and still WWE Intercontinental Champion...Randy "The Talent Stops Here" Orton!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg

You put your right foot in...you put your right foot out...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg

Orton: God damnit, you weren't suppoed to tell anybody my nickname!

Dazz

02-10-2004, 08:37 PM

:lol: Great captions, especially from Evolution, Nowhere man and MMM.

:rofl:

Loose Cannon

02-10-2004, 08:43 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Here we see Vince trying to explain to Bill that wrestling is just a "work"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg
Heyman: "You, Shooting Star Press Now.
Austin, "A What?"
Vince, "Paul's new dictator gimmick is working great?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg
Cade, "Hey have you two seen where our careers went?
Jindrack, "Yeah we've been looking everywhere"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg
Earl, "Watch guys, 'Here is church, here is a steeple, open the doors and see all the people'

Benoit and Flair, "Not Now Earl."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
In order to keep better track of things, HHH had the entire Raw lockeroom come out and write down how many times they've been buried by him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
HHH asks Shawn to check the list and make sure RVD and Booker didn't leave out a few zeros

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
HHH, Stop cheating Chris, I know I've buried you at least four....soon five times."
Chris, "You've never burie..........Wait, what"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg
Chris, "That piece of shit's going to bury me at Mania, isn't he."
Shawn, "UMMM.....Not exactly"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg
Chri's reaction after hearing Shawn tell him about the triple threat ladder match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg
HHH (to Shawn) "See, I told you he'd like it"

http://http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg
Kane, "What's my gimmick again."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
The WWE told it's wrestlers that whenever Sean starts screaming for help, do your best to ignore him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg
Mick Foley was late for signing HHH's list befoe, so HHH made him go out and talk about every match he was buried by HHH.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg
Mick was surprised as anyway to see "Rugged" Ronny Garvin show up on Raw.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Mick couldn't help himself when he spotted all that Beef Ravioli just sitting on the table.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg
Orton's spinning DDT needed a little work.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg
Orton, "How many times did I botch that one"
Ref, "I've lost count."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg
Batista was a little confused, as he thought he was going to be participating in a Richard Simmons workout session.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg
Orton, "Hey I know you, weren't you that Cactus Jack guy once."
Mick, "For the last time Randy, yes."

Loose Cannon

02-10-2004, 08:44 PM

Jesus Christ, you guys are fast. There was like two posts when I started. And it's not September 1, 2004 Evolution

Blue Demon

02-10-2004, 08:49 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg maybe if I stand like this I won't have to job to Hunter...

loopydate

02-10-2004, 08:52 PM

GodDAMN, good captions tonight. I'm afraid to do mine, but here goes...

Rock Bottom

02-10-2004, 09:03 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Vince: Uhhh.. We... Make trade. Brock. Over. Uh... Put. (signaling with his hands)
Goldberg: Brock... Over?
Vince: Right, right. Good job Bill. Brock... Pin... You. 1, 2, 3. Brock over.
Goldberg: BROCK NEXT!
Vince: *Sigh* Paul, please.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg
(Austin and McMahon look on as Paul signals with his hands and uses grunts to speak)
Austin: What the hell did you just tell him?
Paul: Brock... NOT next.
Goldberg: Not.. Next?
Paul: *Nod* YOU... next.
Goldberg: ?!?!?!?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg
Trish Stratus has got to be the only person I have ever seen that can moon you with her chest.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg
Thanks Rhyno. We love you.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg
Molly wins the wife carrying contest!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg
Cade and Jindrak reject Stacy and Jackie's offer of joining their strip poker game.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg
Earl: So like, have you ever just put a box on your head, and like -------------- can't hear what you're saying, and they ------------ confusing?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg
Greatest gay orgy EVER. I mean, you got Hebner on Benoit, Benoit on Flair, and Flair on Richards.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg
Grabbing a wolverine's crotch, another sign of hunger.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
Triple H filed a police report, blaming Rhyno for the fact that the belt never came off.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
Hunter began to demonstrate on the microphone what Chris was going to have to do to him backstage to go over at WMXX.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg
Benoit: And then he made me do this...
Shawn: (Trying to look like it's not effecting him)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg
Benoit relented to Richards's seductive ways.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
Michaels double-checked all his answers before turning in his GED test answers.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg
Spike Dudley is so small, he has to carry around a big sign with his name on it to avoid being stepped on.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg
Kane represents. West SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEDE!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg
I could not, would not, Sam I Am. I will not eat Green Eggs and Ham.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
Kane was crucified when he did his best Triple H impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg
Mick demonstrated his new gimmick - camo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg
Foley blushed madly when these two studs invited him onto the bang bus.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Batista: Guys, seriously. We'll dump the body and no one will ever know.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg
Orton got WAY too friendly when RVD offered him a shotgun.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg
Orton shook in fear as Booker's head grew tentacles.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg
Booker thought the only way to counter the Frog Splash was to do something drastic, in flashing RVD. However, he used Orton to do it, thinking RVD might get seriously hurt if Booker showed his pubelocks.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg
The ref congratulated Orton with a running, sliding high-five.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg
Triple H's remote controller jammed, causing Evolution to deactivate.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg
You a vewy bad man. Ohhh, you vewy bad mistew.

El Santo

02-10-2004, 09:10 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

Vince: "You've got to try this, Bill! He'll wobble, but he won't fall."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg

Paul wasn't fooled! Goldberg had stolen his toupee and glued it to his chin, and he wanted it back!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg

Tits... I mean, it's a poignant shots of one of the breast... I mean, best divas on RAW... Aw hell. Boobies.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg

As the women lock up, the perverted ref steals a quick peak when he thinks no one's looking.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg

The WWE budget was at an all time low when divas were assigned to change light bulbs.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg

Expanding beyond Playboy, the WWE signs up for perhaps the worst Abercrombie & Fitch shoot ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg

Hebner: "Oh my God... my hands... they're talking to me!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg

Hebner: "Hey, Chris, mind taking it easy on that elephant hide? ... Wait a minute..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg

As Flair tightened his grip, Benoit soon learned why the man was known as "The Dirtiest Player in the Game".

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

Triple H: "Jesus, Eric. Is it just me, or do tax forms get damn complicated after you get married?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg

Chris knew he shouldn't have stared, but no man should have hair with that much body.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg

In the first WWE "Battle of the Wills" match, Michaels struggles to stay stoic as Benoit hurls the "Yo Mama So Fat" insults.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg

Chris: "Excuse me a second, Shawn, but I've always wanted to do this... ahhhhhhhhhh."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

Shawn: "So, let's se what we've got lined up for Wrestlemania.... What the hell?!?! 'Shawn Michaels vs. Stone Cold in Hair vs. Hair Match'?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg
Triple H: "Did someone say there was an all you can eat buffet out here?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg

WWE Disclaimer: When arriving at the arena, please avoid wearing loud, colorful shirts. The wrestlers may become distracted.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg

Kane might be a monster, but impaling the Hurricane's head with a blue ladder was going too far!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg

Undertaker made his triumphant return when he whomped Kane over the head with a sign.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

Adding to formible standbys like "Bang Bang" and "Mandible Claw", Mick introduces his new hand gesture: "Shadow Puppet Arf Arf."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg

Mick: "Hey, Ric! I've got a great idea! Let's form a tag team! Mick and Ric!"
Ric: "Ha! Ric and Mick! I love it! Better than the load I have to haul around nowadays."
Mick: "Uh, that was Mick and Ric, Ric."
Batista: "Has anyone seen my right forearm? Anyone?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

Batista admitted that he was impressed: he had no idea Foley could be used as a surfboard.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg

Randy: "Aw damn. I thought only divas had to change the light bulbs."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg

Randy: "For my next trick, I will animate this hair with the power of my mind."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg

The move would have went well until HHH, unseen in the audience, fired a photo torpedo at Booker's crotch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg

Randy: *bump* "Gah! Jesus Christ, ref, give me some space!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg

Batista: "Alright, damimit, whoever stole Ric's pants, just give 'em back! It isn't funny anymore!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg

Randy took his heel persona to a whole new level when he gave Mick Foley the Wet Willie.

loopydate

02-10-2004, 09:33 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

VINCE: I am not the Chairman you're looking for...
GOLDBERG: Wuh?
REF: Mr. McMahon, I think the Jedi Mind Trick only works on people with...y'know...minds.
GOLDBERG: *Drools*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg

Austin and Vince looked on with curiosity. Would Bill take the bait? Would he allow Paul to start writing his paychecks?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg

TRISH: :kiss: Okay, now get out of here before Chris sees you, Stevie.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg

MOLLY: Why, yes, Trish, it IS sort of cold in...AH!!!! MY EYE!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg

The look on Molly's face says it all. That trapeze swung a liiiiiiiittle too low.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg

JACKIE: So then, she was all--
STACY: Yeah, totally. She was like--
JACKIE: No way!
STACY: Way! Can't you, like, totally hear her going that?
JACKIE: That slut!
STACY: I know!
CADE: Do you guys wanna go get a drink or something?
JACKIE/STACY: AS IF!
*Their conversation resumes*
MARK: Oooh... Shot down again!
CADE: Shut up or I'll have Vince "re-unite" you with Sean.
MARK (meekly): I'll be good.
JACKIE: Whatever.
STACY: Totally.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg

Earl applauded. Benoit did the best Wilson from "Home Improvement" impression in the world!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg

REF: Whoa, dude! Are you okay? I knew we shouldn't have let Ric do a Vertebreaker.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg

CHRIS: Shaniqua...shall have...her EYEBALLS!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

And now for the monthly half-hour "Triple H balances his checkbook" segment.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg

And now for the weekly fifteen-minute "Triple H makes soothing ocean noises" segment.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg

CHRIS: What part of this do you not understand? I won the Royal Rumble. I get the title shot!
SHAWN: Nope.
JR: Can't argue with logic like that.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg

CHRIS: Well, of all the fabrics you might make the WMXX canvas out of, this one IS the most comfortable.
HHH: So you don't mind jobbing on this?
CHRIS: No, not at--what?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

HBK (reading): "In conclusion, Mister McMahon, if you don't get the belt off of Triple H and put it on Chris Benoit, give Sean O'Haire a United States Title run, give the Cruiserweights more than eight minutes on SmackDown, and elevate anyone and everyone who is capable of working a match, we will be forced to start killing the hostages." *Scoff* Yeah, whatever.

*Rips up the petition*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg

Little did HHH know, someone had hurled a Spike at his neck.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg

MAN ON HANDHELD TV: Very good. Now you're ready to try it with a real Cruiserweight.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg

REF: Not bad...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg

KANE: Shut off all the compactors on the prison level! SHUT OFF ALL THE COMPACTORS ON THE PRISON LEVEL!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

MICK: Man, it's sure good to be dead right here...at the Pearly Gates!
GOD: *Cheap pop*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg

MICK: Wow, the food here in Heaven is great! And all my old friends are here, too! Wait...you're not my friends--

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

ORTON: You're in Hell now, bitch!
BATISTA: I think he already figured that out, Randy.
ORTON: Oh, shut up, Dave. Hey...does this mean we're dead too?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg

When RVD ran out of weed, he'd...well, he'd smoke anything he could get his mouth around.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg

JR: Bah Gawd, King! Three-point stance!
KING: Somebody must have set the Ortonbot to "Duggan."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg

Booker T proved who the REAL "World's Strongest Man" was when he caught Orton after RVD's Superbomb.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg

RANDY: Owie, ithurtsithurtsithurts...
REF: I can't give the "X" sign if I have to keep holding your hand.
RANDY: NO! Don't let go! Owieowieowie...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg

EVOLUTION: We are the Be--
CROWD: It's been done!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg

RANDY: Ewwwwwwwww... What's that?
FAN: It's Mick Foley.
RANDY: It's gross!

Loose Cannon

02-10-2004, 09:39 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

And now for the monthly half-hour "Triple H balances his checkbook" segment.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg

CHRIS: What part of this do you not understand? I won the Royal Rumble. I get the title shot!
SHAWN: Nope.
JR: Can't argue with logic like that.

:rofl: :rofl:

FourFifty

02-10-2004, 10:45 PM

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg>
Not even the cardboard ref cut out Vince gave to Goldberg could cheer him up.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg>
Paul: Hey! I saw you eating the pork rinds! How dare you…
Bill: Listen Paul, I was starving and they weren’t labeled.
Steve: What? Were they yours, Paul?
Paul: No! They weren’t mine!
Vince: THAT’S RIGHT DAMN IT! MY NAME IS VINCE MCMACHON AND I OWN EVERYTHING!
Steve: So Bill ate Vince’s pork rinds?
Bill: They weren’t Vince’s!
Steve: Then what’s the problem?
Paul & Bill: YOU’RE MISSING THE POINT!!!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg>
The new and improved cyborg-Trish was using her new photon torpedo eye.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg>
Ref: Wow! Women’s wrestling! I thought it was just all a matter of T&A!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg>
First Molly is facing the wrong way, and then Christian is late for the Doomsday Device… Trish was PISSED!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg>
Stacy: So you guys got the luxury cage?
Jackie: Why the hell is Sean suspended over the ring, and not in here?

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg>
It’s bad enough that Earl sucked at shadow puppets, but did Ric have to hold Chris to see them?

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg>
Satan, disguised as a little girl, was making sure that Chris Beniot would not get a clean win at WMXX.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg>
Flair was delirious! Even with Chris holding him down, Earl couldn’t convince The Nature Boy that he wasn’t in a swimming pool.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg>
Triple H had to sign the lease papers on his belt again.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg>
Beniot REALLY wanted to cut a promo, but he was a little timid after Triple H licked the mic.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg>
HBK was not amused with Chris Beniot’s remediation of “That’s Amore.”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg>
First he wore the shirt, and then he wore skull cap… The Coach’s prayers were answered as WrestleMania came early.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg>
HBK: *thinking* So in the event of an actual title defense Triple H can not lose cleanly… hmmm… so I have to put my name on this lease so I can pin Beniot before Trip’s vacation…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg>
Triple H was pleased indeed. He just got WMXX spoilers!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg>
Kane: Gee… I really hope that I can pin the tail on the donkey… The cupcake for the winner looks mighty tasty…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg>
Right when The Hurricane thought he was going to make it through the glass ceiling…

FourFifty

02-10-2004, 10:56 PM

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg>
3:14, 3:15, 3:16, 3:17, 3:18… Hold long could Kane hold Mark Henry’s food bags while he was way…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg>
Knowing he’ll get a pop no matter what, Foley took time to show off his newest toy, the laser nunchucks!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg>
Foley: Ric, you’re one stand up guy! I mean, wearing a shirt that says Paul Xavier Daniels loves Mary Ilice Davis…
Ric: What’s causin’ all this?
Dave: The fact that your shirt says PXD, LUV,MD.
<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg>
Between Randy’s mic skills and Dave’s move set, Foley took a page from the great book of Jannety… What a coward…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg>
Randy “Lou Thez Jr” Orton… Not as catchy as The Legend Killer…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg>
Randy: *thinking* Oh crap… the camera is on me… do I say something… I mean, if I say something, what do I say…. Do I make up a catch phrase…
Booker T: Brotha! You’ve been sitting there for 5 minutes! Do something!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg>
Booker T held Orton so he could look above while RVD scanned the crowd… Sean escaped from his cage, and Triple H had orders to make sure someone finds him.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg>
Ref: Row 17, section A, but it’s okay, he’s just selling beer.
Randy: What? Where’s Rhyno?
Ref: He had a family emergency. Couldn’t be here tonight.
Randy: That’s it! By the power invested in me by the great Triple H, I hereby suspend Rhyno’s oxygen privileges!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg>
Raw’s Riverdance didn’t go over that well…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg>
Foley: Ha ha ha ha ha! Dude, the ugly fat chick in the front row is checking you out! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! And so is the guy right behind you! They want you!

Nowhere Man

02-10-2004, 11:04 PM

Man, Loopy, you had me crying on some of those. Anyone who makes a reference to "A New Hope" is my new best friend. I loved the "Spike" pun, too.

I guess the student has become the master.

Good Ol JG

02-10-2004, 11:10 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

Vince: "No no...a group of letters make a word, a group of words make a sentence."
Goldberg: "Sentuh?"
Vince: "Very good Bill, sentuh. Now a group of sentences make a paragraph."
Goldberg: "Puhgruh?"
Vince: "Exactly...now a group of paragraphs make you job to Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania..."
Goldberg: "Wuh?"
Vince: "Nothing, here's your cookie..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg

Paul: "Oh yeah, well you, Goldberg, sir, are a ho-"
Austin: "Now didn't they tell you on Smackdown? No more homo jokes for you, son!"
Paul: "Damnit, it's not fair! It's not fair! How can my gimmick recover from this?"
Vince: "Don't worry Paul, I'm sure you'll BOUNCE back!"
Paul: "What?"
Austin: "Yeah, we'll keep a CHECK on you!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg

Trish sometimes gets her wrestling dayjob and saucy pornstar night jobs confused...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg

Here we see the ref stalk Molly and Trish like a vulture and his prey...cept this is a very horny and undersexed vulture...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg

While trying to find his hat, Freddy stumbled into the real world and it was only then that he knew what true nightmares were made of....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg

Jindrak: "So it looks like we're starting that gay gimmick tomorrow, huh Garrison?"
Cade: "Yup...we are."
Jindrak: "Yup..."
Cade: "So can you girls give us one more night of straight lovin?"
Stacy: "Ohmigod!"
Jackie: "As if!"
Jindrak: "Well I guess the magazine will do...I got first!"
Cade: "DAMN YOU! Now the pages are gonna be all sticky!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg

Hebner: "Arise my son, I dub thee Sir Wolverine, Lord and Protector of Edmonton."
Benoit: "What the hell Earl?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg

Of all the crap...did Flair have to die in the middle of an attempted bridge into a backslide?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg

Earl: "I've never seen a corpse THIS close before! :(

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

Triple H: "Oh, and I want this, and this, and this to."
Bischoff: "For what?"
Triple H: "It's my birthday tomorrow."
Bischoff: "Your birthday isn't for another 2 months, and you practically own the damn company so why are you askin me for it?"
Triple: "Just kiddin 'Bisch. But remember when you WERE able to make important decisions?"
Bischoff: :'(

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg

Triple H: "So you see Chris, that's why you're going to job out to me and why I'm never losing this title. You got that?"
Benoit: "Huh...oh...what? Sorry, I wasn't listening? I was trying to see if I could fit a hockey puck up your nose."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg

A hush fell over Benoit as he noticed Shawn was growing his "I'm about to screw a Canadian out of a title" beard.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg

Let this be a lesson to you, when you owe the WWE logo money, you damn sure better pay! That canvas didn't get red like that for no reason...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

HBK: "Damnit! I've been staring at this thing all day! I don't see anything!"
Bischoff: "Hey look, a sailboat..."
HBK: "DAMNIT! WHY CAN'T I SEE THE DAMN SAILBOAT!"
(cookie for whoever gets the reference)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg

Triple H laughs to himself because not only would the sailboat job to him, the USS Maine, the entire Pacific fleet, and the newly resurfaced Merrimack and Monitor would as well...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg

Kane: "3D! Hey...I don't get it...why do they call it a 3D anyway?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg

I tried to warn Jack Dome but did he pay the logo? Noooooooo!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg

Kane: "OH! I GET IT! DUDLEY DEATH DROP! God I was so stupid!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

Evolution may have him outnumbered, but Mick's trusty army of fairies would never leave his side!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg

Flair: "Remember when I used to be your boss?"
Mick: "Remember when you had some dignity?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

Somethin tells me this isn't the first time Mick has thrown himself at a table covered in junk food and knocked himself out.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg

The fairies saw what Orton did to Mick, and they called for reinforcements...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg

Eddie Munster goes for the kill....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg

Rhyno and his superglue had taken 3 victims this night...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg

Did Triple H really have to start nailing the refs to his invisible crucifix?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg

Voice Over: "We now join Triple H's Simon Says or Lose Your Job Marathon, already in progress."
Triple H: "Right foot in...Hey that's good Dave, but I didn't say Simon Says."
Batista: "Damnit!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg

Orton: "Dude, nice Chia pet!"

FourFifty

02-10-2004, 11:16 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

HBK: "Damnit! I've been staring at this thing all day! I don't see anything!"
Bischoff: "Hey look, a sailboat..."
HBK: "DAMNIT! WHY CAN'T I SEE THE DAMN SAILBOAT!"
(cookie for whoever gets the reference)

It came from Mallrats, so could you please make it a peanutbutter cookie?

loopydate

02-10-2004, 11:18 PM

Good Ol JG

02-10-2004, 11:21 PM

It came from Mallrats, so could you please make it a peanutbutter cookie?

peanut butter it is :y:

AareDub

02-10-2004, 11:29 PM

Didn't read everybody else's first. I'll try to be original. Although those that have read my captions before probably know I don't have a problem with that :lol:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Vince and Goldberg take turns pushing the new Referee Blowup Punch Balloon back and forth to each other.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg
Dorf calls out Goldberg!

note: what's up with the pic? It looks like Heyman's legs are cutt off.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg
Little known Trish fact: She was one of the defensive linemen in the Lingerie Bowl

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg
The ref ignores the match and practices the mime actions for cross country skiing

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg
Touchdown!

(okay I was lazy on that one)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg
Yes, they all agreed that Jackie's WWE Logo piercing was a bit much.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg
The WWE kicks off the new feud between Chris Benoit, the Rabid Wolverine, and Wolverine from X-Men. This time Wolverine gets the upper hand taking everybody by surprise by first tearing up Benoit's legs and then the Mini-Tron screen on his way out.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
Bischoff: No Hunter, actually there isn't anybody else coming to sign that contract. You see that was a lie. This is actually an intervention. All these people are gathered here because we think you have a problem....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
Benoit: Seriously Hunter, its been over a year.
HHH: No, you're crazy. It's only been a couple of months tops.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg
HBK Robot: I AGREE. HHH IS A GOOD CHAMPION. HE HAS ONLY HAD THE TITLE FOR A FEW MONTHS. NOT TOO LONG AT ALL.
Benoit:(counting) No! I'm serious. Let's see there was Wrestlemania, Bad Blood, Summerslam....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg
Kane shields his face from that god-awful bright tie dye shirt.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg
Max Mini debuts his new referee gimmick and goes for Kane's legs.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
The new genetically engineered Stone Cold Undertaker debuts. The fans immediately take to his Deadman Walking 3:16 catch phrase.

Ok I'm tired, that's enough for now. They probably weren't that good this week anyway.

Corkscrewed

02-11-2004, 12:09 AM

Damn. Great pics tonight. All the good jokes are taken. :(

Corkscrewed

02-11-2004, 12:34 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Ref: "It's time for round 2 of the Tongue Twister Tournament!"
Vince: "The rain in Spain falls greatly on the plains."
Goldberg: "...shit."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg
Heyman: "Now, I just want to make it clear that we're not firing you because you look like Austin.

It's cuz your pants are gay."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg
Trish shocked the world by turning heel when she unveiled her "Silent but Deadly" gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg
Nothing to see hear. Molly had just forgotten to drink her milk earlier in the morning.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg
With help from the glass ceiling, Trish successfully holds Molly down.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg
As Mark and Garrison waited for their cue and Stacy stared on, Jackie prepared for her ritual nipple flash.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg
Here Chris was getting choked out and all Earl could do was offer him a bowl of miso soup.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg
Benoit was rather meticulous when checking for steroids.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg
...Dandruff too.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
As per the new agreements in his contract, Triple H now officially owned everyone's souls.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
Moments later, HHH's hair went from blonde to black.
Benoit: "Morphing... black hair... omniescences... owning souls... you ARE Shang Tsung!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg
Benoit: "And I've worked my entire life to win this title, and there's nothing stopping me from fulfilling my destiny!"
Michaels: "Hold on, Chris. They finally finished editting the clip that's going to be overlaid onto the Wrestlemania contest at the end of the night."
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg
Benoit (offscreen): "Dammit!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
Michaels: "Wow, Hunter's contract IS pretty long. WTF, he owns MY soul too???"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg
As Triple H approached the ring, he smiled. His hold-down aura was so powerful he didn't even have to be in the same room for it to work now!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg
Girl in Rainbow Shit: "YOU SUCK GLEN JACOBS!!!"
Kane: "Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain't listening!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg
This certainly was an odd time for Kane to be doing Rock-a-Bye Baby to Hurricane.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
Kane: "Find a happy place, find a happy place! FIND A HAPPY PLACE!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg
Mick followed Trish Stratus and turned heel when he shockingly dropped the flea circus on his hand, letting them plummet to their dooms. The following week, RAW was pre-empted 5 minutes to prevent anymore outrageous stunts.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg
Ric Flair's so old he still wears shirts with Latin!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Randy: "Mick! What are you doing? We're live on camera!!!"
Mick: "Shhhhh!!! The ocean.... oooooooooo..."
Batista: "I think he's taken one too many shots to the head."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg
Orton's hold-down aura was nowhere near as powerful as that of Triple H. As a result, he had to do it manually.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg
Orton: "If I stare at it long enough... I can light it on fire..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg
While Orton is busy manually holding down Booker T, RVD takes the opportunity to sneakily get elevated.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg
Suddenly, Orton remembered that Rhyno had been using his shampoo lately...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg
As you can see on the right, Vince McMahon drinks the blood of the unpushed to restore his youthful appearance.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg
Randy: "You lie!!! I can't hear the ocean!!!"

Bah. Me suck hugely.

El Santo

02-11-2004, 12:39 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Ref: "It's time for round 2 of the Tongue Twister Tournament!"
Vince: "The rain in Spain falls greatly on the plains."
Goldberg: "...shit."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
As per the new agreements in his contract, Triple H now officially owned everyone's souls.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg
Girl in Rainbow Shit: "YOU SUCK GLEN JACOBS!!!"
Kane: "Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain't listening!"

BWAHAHAHAH! Brilliant!

Bah. Me suck hugely.

I couldn't disagree more, Corkmeister. :naughty:

Corkscrewed

02-11-2004, 01:35 AM

Sephiroth

02-11-2004, 07:23 AM

Loose Cannon

02-11-2004, 09:10 AM

Ooh! Lets try to start a new running gag!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg
Heyman: "Peter Piper picked a peck of peppered pickles for PAUL HEYMAN!!!"
Goldberg: "Stuh bickin on meh!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
HHH: "Hunter Hearst Helmsley hereby has handsome hold of the happy, huge honor of having his haul his forever."
Announcer: "The winner of the Tongue Twister Tournament and STILL Champion..."

NEW GAG? HEY

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010804/images/01.jpg
Chavo, "Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers bitch."
Kurt, "Wow"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010804/images/02.jpg
Kurt, "Eddie listen,this guy does some insane tongue twisters."
Eddie, "She Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore."
Kurt, "Holy shit, you too."
Chavo, Nicely Done."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010804/images/03.jpg
Kurt, "Okay My turn....Hey Diddle Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle, the Cow Jum...
Eddie, "Um Kurt, that's a nursery rhyme, not a tongue twister."
Kurt, "Yeah wasn't it great....Hooray for the Tongue Twisting Trio
Chavo, "What an a**hole.

Kane Knight

02-11-2004, 09:55 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

Plans to make Goldberg Special Referee were cancelled when it was discovered he couldn't count to three.

I'll eventually do more, but I'm not really in the mood to do it right about now.

ColdwaVer

02-11-2004, 10:22 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

In an attempt to put on something even more exciting than the red hot contract signing later, Vince and Goldberg decide to bring their contract negotiations into the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg

Vince savors being the least bald person in the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg

"Smack your TV... what the hell does that even mean???

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg

Molly asccertains that Goldberg's talent is in fact not in the last place you would look.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg

Trish: Hey beer guy!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg

Vince offscreen: "Dammit, we're paying these women and we're going to do something with them!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg

Hebner: Would you like fries with your Flair, sir?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg

Truly over the hill, Flair's recent contract stipulates naps in any match that goes past the five minute mark.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg

Benoit debuts his "extreme pull my finger" gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

Bischoff: This better not turn into another game of strip poker.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg

Benoit was told that you can avoid HHH's hold-down aura by watching his nostrils flare.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg

Benoit: I did not give up that belt to come here and watch HHH use it to stroke his balls!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg

The ball comment got Benoit an official Kliq warning.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

"Wha... jobber and jobee?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg

Four out of five dentists recommend Levesque whitening toothpaste to hold down your cavities.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg

The one dentist who didn't is doing this for a living now.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg

Tired of the chokeslam, Kane decides to use the Hadoken as a signature move.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg

"GAAAH! MY NECK!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

"I can count on one hand the number of jobs HHH has done..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg

Flair: We don't take kindly to folk crackin off on HHH around these parts.
Foley: Whoa, is Randy taking up the "cowboy" gimmick now?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

Orton: Dammit, you killed him! Now who are we gonna get to put me over?
Batista: Just get HHH to make Jericho do it.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg

New Olympic event: midcarder vaulting.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg

Orton: Gah, and you wanted a shampoo commercial?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg

Booker T and RVD present a tribute to the Legion of Doom.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg

Randy does a Brock Lesnar impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/26.jpg

I just have to point this out, does Batista remind anyone else of Vince in this shot?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg

Orton's demand to shoot this man in the head didn't go over well, seeing as someone had beaten him to it.

Loose Cannon

02-11-2004, 11:45 AM

Caption Crew Rule :yes:

Fryza

02-11-2004, 11:57 AM

:wtf:

Corkscrewed

02-11-2004, 02:08 PM

NEW GAG? HEY

Remember that rule about it not being a new gag unless multiple people do it? If you do it by yourself, it's not "truly" a gag. :p

Gives credit to LC for starting the gag.

Corkscrewed

02-11-2004, 02:13 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
Feeling constipated? Try Raging Fire Constipation Medicine! I gets your stool out as soft as drool!

Loose Cannon

02-11-2004, 02:32 PM

Gives credit to LC for starting the gag.

:D ***Takes back everything bad he said about Caption Crew and edits his last post

Sephiroth

02-11-2004, 03:40 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

Vince: And i am telling you 1+1 = 2
Goldberg: 4

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg

Paul: Goldy your a retard, pull my finger!
Goldberg: Dawaw rassa
Paul: Oh No Funn!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg

Trish: I wonder if Chris would like it if i would put on a dildo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg

Ref * Looking 'Nice Ass' *

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/05.jpg

Trish: Look how tall i am!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg

Mark: So do i look gay in these pants?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg

Flair: Can you see the hairs on my back?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg

HHH: What should i write in my new book ? "How to put someone over and keep a belt in a thousand ways"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg

Chris: Your lips, they don't move when you talk.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg

Chris: So i say to you HHH will be put you over, and i get the belt? Deal?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg

* Chris dreaming...And here is your New World Heavy Weight Champion...Chris Benoit *

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

Shawn: So if i sign this contract HHH will put me over.....again. * signs contract *

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg

HHH: I just farted big time!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg

Kane: How much fingers i got in the air?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/17.jpg

Kane: And that is for not letting me be your sidekick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg

Kane pretends to be Goldberg.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

Mick: And that boys and girls is how i got in the WWE, not only sucking Vince cock, but also jobbing to HHH.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg

Mick: Your telling me this isn't the YMCA?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

Randy: Quick check his wallet!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/22.jpg

RVD: Can you see the sign in the back?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg

Orton: Olright Henry, your going down!
Booker: I ain't Henry!!
Orton: Thats what Booker said also!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/25.jpg

Orton: And this is how it looks like when you shave your armpits.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/27.jpg

Randy: And i am telling you that is why i don't let you drive my car!

Champion of Europa

02-11-2004, 03:49 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg

Benoit: Mmm..The carpet smells so good..And the smell of the flowers..It feels like I'm living for the first time..

RVD (offscreen): That's it. Out of my locker room.

Corkscrewed

02-11-2004, 04:28 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
Kane's Spontenaeous Sneezing Syndrome was starting to become very annoying.

loopydate

02-11-2004, 04:47 PM

Yooooooo, Corky. When're the Captions from last Thursday and this Monday going up on the thread? Huh? Huh? ;)

Fryza

02-11-2004, 04:54 PM

Yooooooo, Corky. When're the Captions from last Thursday and this Monday going up on the thread? Huh? Huh? ;)

Yeah, and when's your site going to get updated loopy? :mad:

loopydate

02-11-2004, 05:02 PM

Yeah, and when's your site going to get updated loopy? :mad:

Touche.

Of course, I wasn't aware that people actually WENT to that site, but since you asked so nicely without using any smil--oh, wait.

Fryza

02-11-2004, 05:13 PM

Touche.

Of course, I wasn't aware that people actually WENT to that site, but since you asked so nicely without using any smil--oh, wait.

I could have alerted you using AIM, but you don't use it, or are on often.

*emotear*

Savio

02-11-2004, 05:36 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg
They could never get the 69 right.

Fryza

02-11-2004, 05:45 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/08.jpg

This brought a new meaning to "ass kisser."

Blue Demon

02-11-2004, 06:25 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

Vince tried explaining to Goldberg that his new gimmick would be "Moose" from the Archie comics...

Corkscrewed

02-12-2004, 12:41 AM

^ ...But when Bill couldn't understand, they just decided to have him act like a real moose.

It worked out convincingly enough.

Corkscrewed

02-12-2004, 12:42 AM

Well, at least until the Big Show heard about the "moose on RAW" and went over and ate Goldberg. This happened a bit after Wrestlemania XX, which explains why you didn't see Goldberg after the event.

End time lapse.

Blue Demon

02-12-2004, 12:43 AM

wasn't 100% sure on how to finish that one...thanks :)

FourFifty

02-12-2004, 12:52 AM

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg>
HHH: For the last time Beniot, you are getting a shot at the world hunterweight title, this is not a dream, Now put your pants back on for God's sake!

Corkscrewed

02-12-2004, 03:36 AM

wasn't 100% sure on how to finish that one...thanks :)

No prob. :wave:

Spoon Bender

02-12-2004, 08:12 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg

Vince tries to intimidate Berg by publicly stroking the reff.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg

Paul: And it is my considered opinion that YOU sir stole Kylie's hotpants!
Steve: Hmmm, by Jove it all makes sense!
Berg: Damn you Sherlock Heyman.

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In a new cost cutting move Vince McMahon decrees that Rhyno will now be played by Trish Stratus.

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Guy in charge of putting up RAW pictures on WWE.com ticks the box for 'Easy HLA related caption picture'

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As the battle between Molly and Trish rages, DDP appears on the ramp, trying to bring back the stalker gimmick.

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Mardi Gras comes to Raw.

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Earl: And then he'd like, grab their head in his hands like this, and he'd crush it! Remember him? What ever happened to that guy?

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The reverse, upside down bearhug. Tragic the lengths some people will go to to be considered 'innovative'!

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Earl checks to see if Ric's nail polish is dry yet.

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Triple H signs for his Wrestlemania title defence against the WWE microphone.

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Hunter: Let me get this straight...you wanted a push, so you moved OFF of Smackdown!?

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Chris Benoit's 'Old Prespector' impersonation went down a storm.

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Benoit demonstraits how his flying headbut can be used as a ground move aswell.

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So THAT'S what really happens at the end of the Two Towers!

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Kane prepares to hit the Jazz hand from Hell.

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Kane had a lot to learn about carrying babies.

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The WWE fans reveal the ultimate gimmick: Deadman Walking 3:16

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Mick: Just thought I'd let you know, that it's time for me to call it a day. That's right. I'm retiring....see you next PPV!

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After Buffy finished the last thing people expected Spike to do was go start on Mick Foley!

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Unable to cope with 5 mins of non violence Mick drives through a pile of random furniture, mid promo.

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Never try to play leapfrog after eating some of RVD's brownies.

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Randy: So it IS true what they say about black guys!

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RVD's match had finished about an hour ago, but with Rhyno and his crazy glue back on the loose, he wasn't going anywhere.

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The last playboy cover WWE ever got to do.

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Evolution shows their athletic superiority by doing step areobics in the middle of the ring.

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The newest addition to the Ortonbot: The Brain Sucking Finger Straw.

Innovator

02-12-2004, 10:28 AM

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Chris Benoit's 'Old Prespector' impersonation went down a storm.

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH Cinnamon and gravy

Vastardikai

02-12-2004, 11:40 AM

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Goldberg feels wierd: He doesn't mind being verbally berated by McMahon, but does Vince HAVE to have his penis hanging out while he does it?

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As Heyman berates Goldberg, Steve wonders what Rick, Arn, Bobby, Larry, and Medusa are doing right now. (in memory of Rick Rude)

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Failing to get Sean's attention last week. She dresses in Smackdown's colors for Paul Heyman this week.

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Trish: Will I have to burp you, too?

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Trish's burping technique is second to none!

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Hot Chick with Big Boobs, Hot Chick with fancy clothes, two guys that are tools: This looks like an episode of the Real World.

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Ric does all he can to climb over Benoit so he can see Hebner make a Cat's Cradle.

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Hebner cringes as he sees the limbo pole on its lowest setting.

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Benoit covers Ric's eyes while Hebner sneaks the Sable/Torrie issue of Playboy into his pocket.

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For some Reason, Triple H wanted the Title to be decided in a Tic Tac Toe game.

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Triple H amazes Benoit with his knowledge of Kevin Bacon movies.

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Benoit: Since you've lost your smile for the 18th time this week, I'll let you borrow mine!

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Shawn informed him that he's going to job to Orton instead of jobbing to Hunter. Poor guy...

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Shawn: On this page, it states that... I could have saved a whole lot of money if I had switched to Geico. I've lost my smile...Again.

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Hunter: It's Good to be The King! (Guess the movie...)

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If you think that Benoit's going to job, raise your hand.

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Hurricane wondered by pulling the plug out of Kane's hand didn't work anymore...

Kane: Wrong hand, SUCKA!

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When Kane thought about every twist and turn of his feud with the Undertaker. Even his head started to hurt.

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For some reason, Foley's Tomahawk Chop isn't as over as John Cena's...

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Mick: You're right, Dave does kind of look like Vince McMahon in that outfit.

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Dave is as amazed as Randy is: Mikey Whipwreck was RIGHT about that Dorito bag...

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RVD has to Carry Randy Orton Yet AGAIN!

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Hunter (Offscreen): WATCH IT, I said Fire ACROSS her nose, not up it!

Randy: Sorry sir, I'm trying my best. (another movie reference)

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Now it's Booker's turn to Carry Randy.

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Randy's in Pain: His feet are shackled together by the WWE logo...

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Evolution celebrates their victory by doing the Electric Slide.

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Randy tries to recreate his "Legend Killing" incident in front of the crowd, but they still don't care...