RAW Captions 2/9/2004

[Evolution]

Not even Vinnie Mack can get Goldberg to understand that he is allowed to use more than three moves.



Paul: "You're a homo!"
Steve: "Paul's bald patch makes one helluva mirror."
Vince: "So this is where I'll be when dhiorrhea catches up."



Trish: *thinks* "I wonder if this is when the photographer chooses to photo me..."



The women's version of DX goes wrong when the opponent actually does "Suck It"



As the lava flows from backstage, Trish grabs hold of Sean O'Haire's cage and hoists herself and Molly to safety.



No wonder Stacey looks fed up, the guys are lost in each OTHERS eyes!



Chris: "Earl, he's biting me!"
Earl: "...and in conclusion, I DIDN'T screw Bret!"
Chris: "I get it! I don't CARE!"



As the glass ceiling collapses, not even Ric Flair is spared.



Chris: "I swear if you move your right hand any higher Ric..."



Triple H: "Welcome to the booking committee meeting. Lets get it started shall we? Ok, if you insist, I WILL hold the title for 3 more years. Meeting adjourned."



Triple H: "Where are your clothes, Chris?"
Chris: "Why is your hair clean, boss?"



Now came the ultimate humiliation. Chris Benoit was to sing Shawn's "Sexy Boy" Theme AND watch him catwalk to it!



Here we see Chris Benoit training for his WrestleMania match, or the ending thereof.



Shawn: "So I'll just conveniently bend over while Hunter walks behind me, oh wait, we're in the ring."


Triple H: "You nimrod Shawn. Control yourself for 3 minutes, PLEASE! You animal!"



Kane still hasn't quite grasped the "Version 1" taunt.



Kane: "Oooo, year 2000 flashback, chokeslamming a skinny runt in green and black? X-Pac?"



Kane: "I give up, what DO you see with your little eye down there Steven?"



Mick: "I don't know why I'm here, but I get paid no matter what so... Triple H sucks!"
Triple H (Off-Screen): "Memo to me, memo to me, bury Mick after Randy's finished with him."



Mick: "Ric you joker, I can't be buried by Triple H! He doesn't have the arm strength to dig a big enough hole!"



Randy: "That doesn't mean he cant cover you in debris, numbnuts!"



RVD: "But I thought I only had to suck Hunter's dick to stay on TV."
Batista: "Oh the times they are a-changin'!"



As the giant tarantula emerges from Booker T's skull, Randy knows that he, is next.



RVD: "Don't aim the butt cannon at me you idiot!"



Ref: "You put your arms like this and that's "Y", then bring them to a point above your head and thats "M"..."
Randy: "I get it! I get it!"



All: "We are Evolution, and we can all nearly stand on one foot!"



Randy: "Hey, this guy don't got no ear!"
Mick to himself: "And it appears YOU don't have a grammar book!"

These probably all suck, but I'm too tired to care.