Destor
12-31-2006, 04:10 AM
Some of this is great, some not so much. I took it from another forum. Some of it is SUPER-Relevant:
1. They should push the cruiserweight division!
2. Wrestling is DEAD or DYING because I don't get as much of a kick out of it as I did when I was ten years old!
3. Nipple H!!!!!1
4. WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL THE TAG DIVISION ALREADY VINCE?
5. Wrestlers I don't like or who I believe to have poor workrate should DIE OR BE SEVERELY INJURED!
6. Vince McMahon is worse than Hitler!
7. If you do not agree with number 6, you love Vince McMahon and want to have his butt babies!
8. THAT'S RACIST!
9. Wrestler X is BAD because he broke the unwritten codes of the lockeroom!
10. WORKRATE!
11. THE PRODUCT!
12. It is not Japan therefore it sucks.
13. Lucha libre has no psychology.
14. The WWE will be dead in the next 6 months because of (insert shitty angle/booking decision here)!
15. The same as 14, but with TNA!
16. lol they always say TNA will die in 6 months
17. VINCE'S ASS SHOULDN'T HAVE A CARTOON!
18. Paul Heyman/Jim Cornette IS A GENIUS AND THE MOST PERFECT BOOKER EVER!
19. ECW MORE LIKE WWECW AM I RITE?
20. Samoa Joe looks like SO TOUGH I mean who could look at that guy and not think WHAT A BADASS TOUGHGUY I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH
21. MMA IS GOING TO MAKE WRESTLING OBSOLETE!
22. Why doesn't Wrestler X respect the business?
23. Wrestler Y has been implicated in the same backstage bullying/hazing as reviled Wrestler Z, but Wrestler Y has good workrate so it is ok!
24. TNA has a global empire!
25. Protect strengths and hide weaknesses!
26. The brands should be reunited!
27. Wrestlemania will tank this year, despite the fact that it seems to be making more and more money each year! The fans will sit on their hands!
28. Shelton Benjamin can jump really high! Why is he not main eventing?
29. DX isn't over!
30. CM Punk is the future of the business!
31. I don't care how much merchandise Cena moves, HE ISN'T OVER AND NEVER WILL BE.
32. Angle/Joe is a great feud that is only being hampered by shitty booking and not by the fact that Angle sucks!
33. Making money isn't important!
34. Unless someone I like isn't being pushed, in that case they should focus more on making money and less on politics!
35. Wrestlers who practice backstage politics are horrible people!
36. Shootstyle wrestling is the next big thing!
37. Chris Hero does masturbatory matwork and is chubby!
38. Cena should turn heel!
39. Vince Russo is the worst booker in the history of wrestling!
40. So and so joining such and such promotion is indicatvie of greater trends that are only apparent to me!
41. Meltzer, pffft, what does he know?
42. GLASS CEILING!
43. (insert name of wrestler who is heavily pushed as being a great worker) is a great worker, perhaps THE GREATEST!
44. HOGAN HAS TAKEN MORE FROM WRESTLING THAN HE HAS GIVEN!
45. In addition to not having any psychology, lucha libre is also nothing but spotfests/highflying!
46. Memphis/Lawler is stupid because THERE ARE NOT LOTS OF SUPLEXES AND/OR HEAD DROPS!
47. MOVES~!
48. Vince McMahon banned certain high-flying moves, thus keeping the cruiserweights from being unique. They were much more unique when they were all high-flyers wrestling the same match in the same style ad nauseum. WHY DOES HE NOT WANT CRUISERWEIGHTS TO BE UNIQUE!?
49. Kurt Angle is perfectly healthy because he does moonsaults.
50. In the off-chance he is not perfectly healthy, it's okay because it is totally honorable to kill yourself in the name of professional wrestling.
51. Brawling = BAD WORKRATE
52. ...unless it was in THE ORIGINAL ECW.
53. The WWE Divas are the gold standard of female beauty, and if you disagree you must be some kind of Homer Sexual.
54. TNA is the main workrate-friendly promotion in wrestling. And don't give me any of this crap about Benoit and Finlay getting 20-minute matches on Smackdown because One Man Gang GREAT KHALI AND UNDERTAKER IS A BAD WORKRATE PERSON so you see it is clearly an inferior product.
55. Kurt Angle = BEST EVAR!
56. DVDVR Playas = BLIND WWE HATERS!
57. DVDVR Playas = BLIND WWE MARKS!
58. Discussion of pro wrestling should be treated with the utmost seriousness AT ALL TIMES.
59. JEFF JARRETT IS ONLY AROUND TO PUT HIMSELF OVER WHY DOESN'T JOE HAVE THE BELT (this one is slightly outdated, I admit).
60. Paul Birchall can do a ridiculous flipping finisher, he should be pushed.
61. The Canadian Destroyer does not look fake, he uses the other wrestlers momentum against him.
62. So what if the Canadian Destroyer looks fake, it's wrestling, guys don't really bounce off the ropes if you Irish whip them.
63. Chris Masters sucks but Vince is evil for de-pushing him.
64. Guys, (insert midget indy dude here) can't be that small. I saw him wrestle Samoa Joe and Joe was like 5 inches taller than him and Joe is like 6'4, so WWE saying that (insert midget indy dude here) is too small is just BULLSHIT.
65. WWE would make more money with puro atmosphere
66. In puro, it's not about characters, it's all about competition and respect.
67. My retarded dog could have made the WCW InVasion the greatest angle EVAR.
68. WRESTLING BELT "X" IS MORE LEGIT THAN WRESTLING BELT "Y."
69. ECW would have took off had they got another cable deal
70. Vince clearly stole *insert name of angle or gimmick* from (insert obscure angle from obscure or dead promotion that Vince probably has forgotten existed/does not know exists here).
71. JBL is a piece of shit because he talked crap about Tully Blanchard, a superior worker, to his face.
72. Reading these spoilers, (insert name of show here) will suck yet again
73. While I have not watched (insert name of show/PPV/DVD here) I feel that I am fully qualified to say that it SUCKS ASS AND IS A SIGN THAT WRESTLING WILL SOON BE DEAD!
74. I'M BOYCOTTING THIS PRODUCT!
75. This guy is over 6"3 and 250 pounds, therefore he automatically sucks
76. Vince doesn't care about RVD because he won't get WALK for him as his theme
77. A big guy doing a powerslam or powerbomb is stupid and sucks and Scott Keith said so, but a cruiserweight doing those moves is AMAZING
78. HHH is afraid to hire Kobashi/Kawada/Misawa because he knows he would be shown up super fast and he's a pussy and won't take their head drop finishers!
79. UNDER"FAKER" always has sucked and should have retired 10 years ago and holds down the boys
80. The biggest travesty of 2000s was Vince not using Raven correctly!
81. Hogan, Steve Austin, The Rock, Jerry Lawler NEVER had good matches!
82. "Vince Machon kills wrestlers. Kills them dead. He is bad because of this."
83. "The Montreal screw job was worse than the holocaust."
84. "Must make shower joke every time JBL is mentioned in any context."
85. "Bush and Blair kayfabed the world over WMD. They're such heels. Or maybe tweeners. Was Chriac the face in that situation? How else can I use pro wres terms in order to describe things that have nothing to do with pro wres?"
86. HHH is holding Wrestler X down! What an asshole!
87. "*thing that just happened on Raw/Smackdown/ECW* is clearly in response to *irrelevant bullshit TNA did weeks prior that no one cares about*"
88. "Stephanie Machon is a stupid objectionable woman. She writes bad wrestling. I hope her baby dies."
89. Every Ric Flair match ever is exactly the same with no deviation whatsoever.
90. Kevin Nash is responsible for everything that has sucked in pro wrestling in the last 15 years.
91. Lex Luger murdered Elizabeth with his bad workrate.
92. CONTROL SEGMENTS!
93. John Cena is getting booed because he's a bad worker, not because half the crowd sees him as a fake white boy poser or anything.
94. Doing a job completely destroys a wrestler's credibility for the rest of his career.
95. Established stars should lose all of their matches. Midcarders should always win against main eventers.
96. Who cares if Jerry Lawler has good punches? If I cared about punching, I'd watch boxing!
97. Wrestlers are completely incapable of getting over on their own. It's the creative team's job to do it for them.
98. Smackdown’s not worth my time because a black guy doing shtick comedy’s the champ (this one is also a little outdated).
99. Trish Stratus / Stacy Keibler / The Rock / Anyone smart should at the very least wrestle part-time to show gratitude to the fans who made them what they are today.
100. GIVE BACK TO THE BUSINESS!
1. They should push the cruiserweight division!
2. Wrestling is DEAD or DYING because I don't get as much of a kick out of it as I did when I was ten years old!
3. Nipple H!!!!!1
4. WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL THE TAG DIVISION ALREADY VINCE?
5. Wrestlers I don't like or who I believe to have poor workrate should DIE OR BE SEVERELY INJURED!
6. Vince McMahon is worse than Hitler!
7. If you do not agree with number 6, you love Vince McMahon and want to have his butt babies!
8. THAT'S RACIST!
9. Wrestler X is BAD because he broke the unwritten codes of the lockeroom!
10. WORKRATE!
11. THE PRODUCT!
12. It is not Japan therefore it sucks.
13. Lucha libre has no psychology.
14. The WWE will be dead in the next 6 months because of (insert shitty angle/booking decision here)!
15. The same as 14, but with TNA!
16. lol they always say TNA will die in 6 months
17. VINCE'S ASS SHOULDN'T HAVE A CARTOON!
18. Paul Heyman/Jim Cornette IS A GENIUS AND THE MOST PERFECT BOOKER EVER!
19. ECW MORE LIKE WWECW AM I RITE?
20. Samoa Joe looks like SO TOUGH I mean who could look at that guy and not think WHAT A BADASS TOUGHGUY I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH
21. MMA IS GOING TO MAKE WRESTLING OBSOLETE!
22. Why doesn't Wrestler X respect the business?
23. Wrestler Y has been implicated in the same backstage bullying/hazing as reviled Wrestler Z, but Wrestler Y has good workrate so it is ok!
24. TNA has a global empire!
25. Protect strengths and hide weaknesses!
26. The brands should be reunited!
27. Wrestlemania will tank this year, despite the fact that it seems to be making more and more money each year! The fans will sit on their hands!
28. Shelton Benjamin can jump really high! Why is he not main eventing?
29. DX isn't over!
30. CM Punk is the future of the business!
31. I don't care how much merchandise Cena moves, HE ISN'T OVER AND NEVER WILL BE.
32. Angle/Joe is a great feud that is only being hampered by shitty booking and not by the fact that Angle sucks!
33. Making money isn't important!
34. Unless someone I like isn't being pushed, in that case they should focus more on making money and less on politics!
35. Wrestlers who practice backstage politics are horrible people!
36. Shootstyle wrestling is the next big thing!
37. Chris Hero does masturbatory matwork and is chubby!
38. Cena should turn heel!
39. Vince Russo is the worst booker in the history of wrestling!
40. So and so joining such and such promotion is indicatvie of greater trends that are only apparent to me!
41. Meltzer, pffft, what does he know?
42. GLASS CEILING!
43. (insert name of wrestler who is heavily pushed as being a great worker) is a great worker, perhaps THE GREATEST!
44. HOGAN HAS TAKEN MORE FROM WRESTLING THAN HE HAS GIVEN!
45. In addition to not having any psychology, lucha libre is also nothing but spotfests/highflying!
46. Memphis/Lawler is stupid because THERE ARE NOT LOTS OF SUPLEXES AND/OR HEAD DROPS!
47. MOVES~!
48. Vince McMahon banned certain high-flying moves, thus keeping the cruiserweights from being unique. They were much more unique when they were all high-flyers wrestling the same match in the same style ad nauseum. WHY DOES HE NOT WANT CRUISERWEIGHTS TO BE UNIQUE!?
49. Kurt Angle is perfectly healthy because he does moonsaults.
50. In the off-chance he is not perfectly healthy, it's okay because it is totally honorable to kill yourself in the name of professional wrestling.
51. Brawling = BAD WORKRATE
52. ...unless it was in THE ORIGINAL ECW.
53. The WWE Divas are the gold standard of female beauty, and if you disagree you must be some kind of Homer Sexual.
54. TNA is the main workrate-friendly promotion in wrestling. And don't give me any of this crap about Benoit and Finlay getting 20-minute matches on Smackdown because One Man Gang GREAT KHALI AND UNDERTAKER IS A BAD WORKRATE PERSON so you see it is clearly an inferior product.
55. Kurt Angle = BEST EVAR!
56. DVDVR Playas = BLIND WWE HATERS!
57. DVDVR Playas = BLIND WWE MARKS!
58. Discussion of pro wrestling should be treated with the utmost seriousness AT ALL TIMES.
59. JEFF JARRETT IS ONLY AROUND TO PUT HIMSELF OVER WHY DOESN'T JOE HAVE THE BELT (this one is slightly outdated, I admit).
60. Paul Birchall can do a ridiculous flipping finisher, he should be pushed.
61. The Canadian Destroyer does not look fake, he uses the other wrestlers momentum against him.
62. So what if the Canadian Destroyer looks fake, it's wrestling, guys don't really bounce off the ropes if you Irish whip them.
63. Chris Masters sucks but Vince is evil for de-pushing him.
64. Guys, (insert midget indy dude here) can't be that small. I saw him wrestle Samoa Joe and Joe was like 5 inches taller than him and Joe is like 6'4, so WWE saying that (insert midget indy dude here) is too small is just BULLSHIT.
65. WWE would make more money with puro atmosphere
66. In puro, it's not about characters, it's all about competition and respect.
67. My retarded dog could have made the WCW InVasion the greatest angle EVAR.
68. WRESTLING BELT "X" IS MORE LEGIT THAN WRESTLING BELT "Y."
69. ECW would have took off had they got another cable deal
70. Vince clearly stole *insert name of angle or gimmick* from (insert obscure angle from obscure or dead promotion that Vince probably has forgotten existed/does not know exists here).
71. JBL is a piece of shit because he talked crap about Tully Blanchard, a superior worker, to his face.
72. Reading these spoilers, (insert name of show here) will suck yet again
73. While I have not watched (insert name of show/PPV/DVD here) I feel that I am fully qualified to say that it SUCKS ASS AND IS A SIGN THAT WRESTLING WILL SOON BE DEAD!
74. I'M BOYCOTTING THIS PRODUCT!
75. This guy is over 6"3 and 250 pounds, therefore he automatically sucks
76. Vince doesn't care about RVD because he won't get WALK for him as his theme
77. A big guy doing a powerslam or powerbomb is stupid and sucks and Scott Keith said so, but a cruiserweight doing those moves is AMAZING
78. HHH is afraid to hire Kobashi/Kawada/Misawa because he knows he would be shown up super fast and he's a pussy and won't take their head drop finishers!
79. UNDER"FAKER" always has sucked and should have retired 10 years ago and holds down the boys
80. The biggest travesty of 2000s was Vince not using Raven correctly!
81. Hogan, Steve Austin, The Rock, Jerry Lawler NEVER had good matches!
82. "Vince Machon kills wrestlers. Kills them dead. He is bad because of this."
83. "The Montreal screw job was worse than the holocaust."
84. "Must make shower joke every time JBL is mentioned in any context."
85. "Bush and Blair kayfabed the world over WMD. They're such heels. Or maybe tweeners. Was Chriac the face in that situation? How else can I use pro wres terms in order to describe things that have nothing to do with pro wres?"
86. HHH is holding Wrestler X down! What an asshole!
87. "*thing that just happened on Raw/Smackdown/ECW* is clearly in response to *irrelevant bullshit TNA did weeks prior that no one cares about*"
88. "Stephanie Machon is a stupid objectionable woman. She writes bad wrestling. I hope her baby dies."
89. Every Ric Flair match ever is exactly the same with no deviation whatsoever.
90. Kevin Nash is responsible for everything that has sucked in pro wrestling in the last 15 years.
91. Lex Luger murdered Elizabeth with his bad workrate.
92. CONTROL SEGMENTS!
93. John Cena is getting booed because he's a bad worker, not because half the crowd sees him as a fake white boy poser or anything.
94. Doing a job completely destroys a wrestler's credibility for the rest of his career.
95. Established stars should lose all of their matches. Midcarders should always win against main eventers.
96. Who cares if Jerry Lawler has good punches? If I cared about punching, I'd watch boxing!
97. Wrestlers are completely incapable of getting over on their own. It's the creative team's job to do it for them.
98. Smackdown’s not worth my time because a black guy doing shtick comedy’s the champ (this one is also a little outdated).
99. Trish Stratus / Stacy Keibler / The Rock / Anyone smart should at the very least wrestle part-time to show gratitude to the fans who made them what they are today.
100. GIVE BACK TO THE BUSINESS!