SmackDown! Captions - 03/02/07 [Archive]

View Full Version : SmackDown! Captions - 03/02/07

Xero

03-04-2007, 10:33 AM

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Impact!

03-04-2007, 10:59 AM

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Bobby: What? You don't think I'm hardcore enough to be ECW Champion. Well fine, I'm just as hardcore as anybody else, look, Sabu pose. Yeah I'M HARDCORE

Jeritron

03-04-2007, 11:50 AM

Here is the story of one superstars date with destiny.

Can I please get a countdown....

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1...
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2...

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3...

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4...

And so our tale of this weeks Smackdown begins...

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Finlay's age catches up to him and his back gives out, leaving him wheelchair bound.

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Oh gosh! What are we going to do for tonights main event!!

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This is a dark night, our hearts and prayers are with Finlay tonight. We are going to have to cancel tonights show unless someone can step up for the injured Finlay....

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"I'll save your show."

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Suddenly, he leaps vertically and does a corkscrew above the ring...

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He lands a huge kick to the face and picks up the pinfall victory.
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Shannon: Hey, that was pretty damn good
Fan: Yea, plus I'm this big.
Shannon: Aye carumba, wanna be my tag partner?

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...a stable is formed.
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THIS IS HORSESHIT!!! NOT A DAMN ONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK A FUCKING MATCH! AT LEAST WE CAN EDIT THIS BY FRIDAY. YOUR ASSES ARE FIRED!!!!
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Well who the fuck is gonna job to me then Vince? I need someone to squash.
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Oh gosh! I've done it again, I fired all the jobbers. What am I ever gonna do now!!! HELP!
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LOOK UP IN THE SKY!!!

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It's a bird...

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It's Owen Hart....

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NO, It's CHRIS BENOIT!!!!!

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Folks we have to go now, thats all the time we have. Tune in next wee....
*broadcast ends*

To be continued..........

Jura

03-04-2007, 12:01 PM

<table class="tborder" align="center" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" width="70%"><tbody><tr><td class="tcat">vBulletin Message</td> </tr> <tr> <td class="panelsurround" align="center"> You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jeritron again.


 </td> </tr> </tbody></table>
:lol: :naughty:

Jura

03-04-2007, 12:02 PM

Lashley expressed his anger after he tried out his brand-new pull-string Mr. Kennedy doll.

Needless to say, the string didn't retract after it had been pulled...

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Lashley: Stupid Kennedy doll! I hate you! I hate you! You doo-doo head!!
Mr. Kennedy Doll: Misterrrrrrrrrrrr Kennedyyyyyyy!!!...

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Finlay: Why haven't you returned my phone calls? Why won't you love meeeeee!?!!

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The WWE would like to congratulate Jillian Hall upon giving birth to a 100-pound new born baby girl.

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Jimmy: Just listen to me. Shampoo and condition that hair and add lemon juice.
Shannon: Hey, I don't know all about that...
Jimmy: Come on. Who's your boy?
Shannon: ...don't do this man...not now.
Jimmy: Who...is...ya... boyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee?
Shannon: *sigh* Your my boyyyeeeee...
Jimmy: Yeeee-haaaawww. Now thats what I'm talkin bout.

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A furious Vince McMahon confronts Bobby Lashley.

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Vince McMahon proceeds to slap Lashley in the face.

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Vince McMahon: Bitch betta have my cash or next time it's my foot up your ass!!

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Vince McMahon: Yeah bitch. Hurts doesn't it? Hehe
Lashley: No...not really.

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Vince McMahon: What?!! Hmm...let me try it on myself.

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Vince McMahon: Oh my god! It doesn't hurt at all...

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Vince McMahon: Oh well. Who wants a dirty sanchez or two?

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The 2 Fans in the back: Pinky Mafia rulezzzz!!!
King Bookah: Uhh...you guys know what the hell a "Pinky Mafia" is??
JBL: I have no idea. Jus...just don't look at them and maybe they'll shut up and go away.
Michael Cole: Hmm...I thought I was supposed to wait 1 week before calling. Maybe I should have called him.

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Lashley: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
Mr. Kennedy Doll: ...Kenneddddyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

Jeritron

03-04-2007, 12:05 PM

rofl. These full album epics are the way to go

Skippord

03-04-2007, 12:22 PM

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I just came

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...Twice

Xero

03-04-2007, 12:27 PM

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Bobby: I did it... For The Rock!

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Chris Benoit swims in Vince McMahon's pool of Orange Jello.

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The newest Power Ranger, Purple, was a giant dick.

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Stevie: Best. Threesome. Ever.

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Vince: *Gasp* I can't believe it's not butter!

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Lashley: Can I leave yet?
Vince: No, a few more shots for my lawsuit over my racism will do it...
Lashley: Sigh...
Vince: I'm with a BLACK man!

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INVISIBLE VERTABREAKER!

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Rey Mysterio - The Outcast Years

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Getting desperate for sign plants, WWE recruits the Cruiserweight division.

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Those Queer Eye guys think of everything! It keeps him warm and stylish, but leaves access for steroids!

Theo Dious

03-04-2007, 08:17 PM

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"One... horrible sensation, burning deep within my crotch..."

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"Two... many infected workers, all this crap has got to stop..."

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Ref: Sorry, Lash, this actually ISN'T a hairpiece.
Lashley: Noooo!!! I just lost fifty bucks!

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Apparently whipping Lashley with a shoelace wasnt' QUITE in the spirit of ECW...

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The irony of beating a black man with a black chair...

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Ref: No seriously, I took a course in chiropracty...
Finlay: I don't think that's what it's callOH MY GOD I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!

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Ref: One! Two! Thr... tightie whities?!

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Here at the International "Finger Across The Throat Mime" finals...

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MVP: Damn, John Tenta be rollin' in his grave!

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"Kiss my as, Peter Pan."

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Benoit: Okay God, zap him in the nuts!

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Benoit: Wait a minute, why is this hurting me?!
MVP: Bitch, there's a splinter in your ass!

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Finlay: Fuck your lucky charms, get in there!

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And Cole had finally gotten over "Heidenrape." More therapy bills for Vince...

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You'd think that WWE could afford to get Ashley actual fishnet shirts, but no, she has to resort to cutting up her pantyhose...

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Jillian: Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
Ashley: Fuck, now I know why they fired Tatanka.

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"Yeah, odds are I'll be fired after the next Diva Search. That's why I'm starting a second career as Bob Barker's replacement!"

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Possessed by the spirit of Stu Hart, McMahon's hand begins to slap him repeatedly.

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"Wait a minute, I thought we were talking about shaving my sack!"

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Millionaires with Roid Rage, on the next Springer.