Kurt Angle's house is in the middle of the country. This is because when it was built in the city, it made all the other houses tap out, and they razed themselves our of terror.

It was originally Angle's Theory of Relativity, but he felt sorry for the Jews and decided to give it to his friend, Albert Einstein.

FYI: The movie Jaws features Kurt Angle in one of his rare animorph appearances.

There is a secret Power Rangers episode where Kurt Angle, playing the villain, destroys the Power Rangers, all of their Megazords, Zordon, and Alpha once and for all, rendering the Rangers completely powerless. He then has a hot, passionate threesome with Kimberly and Trini. Angle ended up deciding not to air it because he didn't want to traumatize children.

Kurt Angle was announced as the lead for "24", but the plans had to change once all the terrorists and backstabbers in the world were dead in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Damn the luck :D :rofl:

When Kurt Angle was 7 years old, he played T-ball in his town's little league. All of the other kids would make fun of little Kurt because of his baldness. One day, in order to send a message, Kurt took aim and hit a line drive so hard, it hit an outfielder and obliterated the kid's face into dust particles. The child's lifeless decapitated body lay there with brain matter sprayed all about. To this day, Kurt Angle will pimp slap anybody who gives him any shit about it.

Kurt Angle personally gave me my Banhammer.

:eek:

Kurt Angle personally gave Triple A this web site. :shifty:

George W. Bush wanted to nominate Kurt Angle for Supreme Court Chief Justice but the Separation of Powers called for by the Constitution doesn't allow that if the person is already this country's main Instrument of Justice.

Some people play "got yer nose" with their kids. Kurt Angle plays "Got yer lower intestine" with Alligators.

Kurt Angle hates the story of Robin Hood because Kurt Angle is filthy rich. If Robin Hood had tried take Kurt's money and give it to the poor, there would be no Legend of Robin Hood, only the Legend of How Kurt Angle Killed Robin Hood and Fed Him to Bears.

Few people know that Kurt Angle was crucified and buried with Jesus. However, unlike Jesus, Kurt rose from the dead after a few hours and spent the next two days drawing on Jesus' face with a Sharpie, taking embarrassing pictures of Him, and slapping him in the face with his own hand, saying, "Quit hittin' yourself!"

There once was a man from Nantucket. That man was Kurt Angle and the stories about him were greatly under-stated.

Once while walking down the beach Kurt Angle came across a woman with no arms or legs, crying. When he asked what was wrong, she explained that she had never been fucked by a man. Kurt Angle tenderly picked up the woman and threw her in the ocean. He then called out to her, "Now you're fucked."

Kurt Angle can make Weebles fall down and stay down.

The black plague was the result of Kurt Angle sneezing on Europe.

Kurt Angle accounts for more than 90% of all the penis in the world.

Kurt Angle doesn't need to mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.

4 out of 5 dentists recommend Kurt Angle. The 5th is on the FBI's Missing Person's List.

We're starting to get repeats in this thread. And owenbrown, that's an obvious joke that you're re-telling as a Kurt Angle fact. Kurt Angle would not approve.



The Bermuda Triangle exists because Kurt Angle needs his privacy, and loves the tropical weather down there.

Kurt Angle accidentally ate a school bus thinking it was a bananna. He later crapped out Voltron, which is now secretly defending The United States.

Kurt Angle has never been fooled by trick birthday candles.

According to Kurt, there are 28 letters in the alphabet due to his 3 I's. If you tell him otherwise, he will rip out your eyes.

BTW... this thread needs to be archived.

Definitely!


According to Kurt Angle, it really was Gene Snitsky's fault.

Even if there is no way out, Angle will always find a way out.

Kurt Angle CAN fight his way out of a paper bag.

Kurt Angle CAN hit the side of a barn with a baseball. From 25,000 miles away.