So you find yourself in a brawl
 

and its four of your friends and you against five professional wrestlers. Being civilized (and stupid) you pair off 1-1. The five wrestlers are as follows: Kurt Angle, Randy Orton, AJ Styles, Spike Dudley and Mark Henry.

Who do you fight and why?

AJ. Honestly he seems like the type of guy who just tosses random punches, leaves himself open, would jump around a lot, and would quickly become lost. Also on the intimidation factor he's about a 2 at most.

This, or if one of my friends get to him first then Mark Henry because he's just as likely to hurt himself as me when he's smashing on my ass. :shifty:

I think I could run around and outmaneuver Henry until he died of a heart attack. That's only if he was trying to kill me though.

I often have a sandwich in my pocket, so Mark Henry.

Spike. He's the only one I know I could take for sure. The others...not so much.

If its a brawl in a pub or some place, I will be sure Mark Henry is drunk out of his wits. I also know for a fact that he is a very big softy in real life. So there you go.

This.

AJ appears to be the easiest option by far, he just looks like he doesn't know how to fight. Spike is small but he probably fights dirty and if Angle even looked at me I would run like a bitch.

Angle, if you're gonna fight go for the top dog. It's what life is all about.

I chose Randy. I mean the guy punched a mat and separated his shoulder, pretty sure I could take what ever he threw my way.:shifty:

I would call them all faggots and tell them to get Brock Lesnar down.

Nicely done... Yeah I take the Mark henry factor for 1) I could get away faster if needed, and 2) If he gets ahold of me, the deathblow would surely be quick cause I ain't that big...

I voted Spike Dudley at first, but then realised the better points about fighting the others:

1) Only a pussy would fight Spike Dudley and leave his mates to deal with the rest.

2) All the injury jokes have already been made.

3) A guy like Spike Dudley survived in the wrestling industry somehow. I wouldn't be surprised if there is some really good fight in him.

Also, I don't buy AJ Styles being a push-over. I think that guy could kick some ass if need be.

<font color=goldenrod>Realistically, I know I will get my ass kicked no matter who I fight. So I'd go for Orton...it'd be a much better story than saying "I got my ass kicked by Spike Dudley"</font>

That's a very good point...

AJ would seem like the easiest to take in a fight. However, I could just sit on Spike and watch my buddies get their asses kicked.

<table class="tborder" align="center" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" width="100%"><tbody id="collapseobj_usercp_reputation" style=""><tr><td class="alt2">http://www.tpww.net/forums/images/re...tation_neg.gif</td> <td class="alt1Active" id="p313261652" width="50%"> So you find yourself in... </td> <td class="alt2" nowrap="nowrap">06-25-2010 10:55 AM</td> <td class="alt1" nowrap="nowrap"> Kane Knight </td> <td class="alt2" width="50%">So you find yourself making another retarded thread....</td></tr></tbody></table>LOL, I thought I was back on ignore.

Neg rep #2

I would go after Kurt Angle. If I'm gonna get my ass kicked, I'd rather be able to save face by saying it was kicked by an Olympic Gold Medalist wrestler than a Metrosexual like AJ or a runt like Spike.

I'd have to say Orton cuz if I'm gonna go down might as well make it count.

I think Spike's turned into the cruiser-weight version of New Jack with all the drugs and booze.

all my friends are bigger than me so i'd beat the shit outta spike then help the friend who is gettin is ass whipped the most. its a fair fight between me and spike cuz we the same size. wouldnt fight mark henry with anything less than a 2x4. ortons 2 tall 4 me and angle would probably suplex me 2 hell lol

AJ coz we are the same size, spike would be too tough, angle would be too much, mark henry will squash me and randy orton is too sneaky.

Mark Henry, i'd just show him a Hershey's Chocolate bar and he'd be like, "That reminds me of myself"

Hard choice.

On the surface, I'd pick Spike Dudley... but like someone else said, he is probably tough as nails for surviving in the wrestling biz as long as he has.

Angle and AJ are both out. Angle because he is Kurt Freakin' Angle and you don't want any of that. AJ because he's got speed and flexibility.

So that leaves Orton and Henry. Orton seems like a very angry individual, who who smurf you up in a fight for real.

So... even though he is the largest (and if to be believed, the strongest) of them all, I'd go with Henry. I'd definitely have the speed advantage, so as long as I could avoid getting anywhere near his arms... I'll take my chances.

Doesn't matter which on eit is Im getting my ass kicked so I may as well go for angle and try to have a chat with him before he inevitibly kills me.

I'd go for Randy and just pray to god he busted his own shoulder again

That's one big ass chocolate bar...

Ass chocolate

Randy Orton. I'll give him the one move he's susceptible to. One which one of the greatest wrestlers in the world taught me to do.

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#712. ARMBAR!

26 votes so far. AJ Styles is still in the lead.

As long as i could put one in the Rings of Saturn :shifty: it doesnt matter

realistically i would get my ass kicked

Kurt Angle

I voted Kurt Angle because I was an idiot and thought it was "who would you pick to be on your side in a brawl". Frankly I would pick Mark Henry here, because I feel like I could evade many of his swings and possibly tire him out. Spike Dudley would seem like the easy pick here, but I really don't trust him not to fight dirty because of his obvious size disadvantage (biting, low blows, ect.).

Spike is drunk and high, he will stab you motherfucker!

Dammit... Why didn't I think of that... Wait, don't answer that...

It looks like I'm the only honest chicken here.

I'd either run away or fight Spike Dudley 'cause he's the smallest.

I am pretty sure picking Henry because you think he'll die running after you is pretty cowardly.

I think I'd pick Angle, just b/c of his arrest incident outside of Pittsburgh a little while back. I mean, it takes one hell of a bitch to hit a woman, and that may be enough motivation to mirk his ass, lol

Wasn't he cleared of all charges?

he was, but that doesn't negate the fact that he actually did strike her...then again, he may use his Olympic wrestling skills and have me in some crazy ass hold before I know it. He has a weight and strength advantage over me

...I remember reading that she lied about all of it.

Also, does self-defense automatically become immoral because if the gender of the attacker is female?

I look at it like this, I was raised not to hit a woman...HOWEVER..if she swings and hits like a man, that goes out the window and self-defense is justified. I'm sure some will agree and some won't..but that's not what this thread was for! lol

I'm just saying, basing your justification for fighting someone on a possible rumor is a bad idea. Unless that someone is the nation of Iraq.

You're right...but it's not much better then saying I'll fight Spike b/c he's a buck 50 soaking wet or saying "I'd fight Mark Henry b/c he'd get distracted by the smell of bar food" (although I'd love to see a fight stopped over the smell of food)

I'd probably go for Kurt Angle because I'm the toughest out of my crew. I have an amateur background so I don't think it'd be a TOTAL beatdown.

Definitely going with Spike on this one. I believe I would be able to gorilla press his scrawny ass through a store window(VINTAGE BAM BAM STYLE), then go help which ever friend got Kurt Angle.

It depends.

Mark Henry: Kick to the balls and a sleeper. Hard part is landing the kick to the balls.
Kurt Angle: I'd get killed unless I get my hands on something to beat him with. And I'd grab something to beat him with.
AJ: I stand a chance realistically. But I have no ill will towards him.
Spike: He's a runt in a big man's game. I ain't fucking with him.
Orton: I think I could take him. If I can get him to the ground or groin kick him, I can go for a shoulder lock (be it a Mir Lock, a Key lock, or a Kimura.) and do him in.

Honestly, I'm not gonna say Orton. And it won't be a fair fight, but it's a brawl, so I'm fighting dirty.

Move to New Orleans pre-oil spill.

I would play Rolling Stones- Streetfighting Man - G 7

I bet you would Mr. Quackenbush

you just hit G 8

You sunk my battleship.

Can I just join them in beating up my friends?

It might freak them out a little. The wrestlers are angry at you too for some reason.

You can just explain to them that you were setting your friends up for a swerve and that you have turned heel. They'll understand.

Angle

He's the only one I could handle losing to

I'd pick Angle. Only because I know it would be over quickly.

Mark Henry. He's a big, strong-man type so:

1. He's gonna be slow as fuck.

2. He's gonna have no stamina.

3. He's gonna have very bad knees (I believe he's already injured them).

4. He's the only guy an average dude could definitely take other than (most likely) Spike or AJ.

5. If the current World's Strongest Man can make Tim Sylvia look like Brock Lesnar, then we can only guess how MH's fighting skills are.

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I chose Orton.

Angle would destroy anybody.

Henry if he gets a hold of you it's over.

AJ probably can fight. The dude is a real athlete so I bet he can handle himself.

I considered Spike but then realized, a guy that small has probably been in many fights and is probably tough as nails.

So I chose Orton. The dude is jacked that's for sure, but he's probably the kind of guy who throws wild haymakers hoping something lands. Stay tight inside and you can probably land an uppercut and take him down. Big bodybuilder dudes are often very awkward and if you watch Orton in the ring, you can see what I mean, so I think if I have a chance with anybody, it's Orton.

Not current.

But yeah, being helluva strong doesn't mean you can fight. Pudzianowski won his first MMA fight against a washed up boxer with a lousy record, and thought he's the greatest. Well, he was wrong.