obvious tells that wrestling is fake
 

what are your favorite "tells" that wrestling is fake?

here's a few of mine:


1. landing on a springy canvas hurts but when they land on another guy they are okay.

2. sworn enemies wait until monday to fight.

3. They get punched and kicked in the face but theres no bruises or teeth missing.

4. when 2 guys are discussing a "plan" they don't notice a cameraman filming it all and broadcasting it on the titantron.

5. Cena wins


list some of yours...

posting before the thread gets closed

I gotta say, I've always been bugged by heel/face psychology.

For example, Kane is a heel, he sets Jim Ross on fire. Fuck him he's the most evil man on the planet how could he sink to such lows etc.

Six months later, Kane has turned face, and is being beat down by some stable. JR will be there saying how Kane is heroically trying to fight back but the cowardly bad guys have him outnumbered.

Kinda ridiculous, and I know it's a part of pro wrestling, always has been, always will be, but it's pretty retarded in a real life way.

A 57 year old man and a 61 year old man honestly believing that people want to watch them wrestle on tv

If a face tags his partner when the ref is distracted he'll force them to switch back, if a heel tags his partner while the ref is distracted a simple self clap is all that is needed to convince the ref that a tag was made, hell sometimes no sound effect is needed they just switch and the ref says shit.

I mean, seriously. It was caught on camera, shown on live television, WITH REPLAYS. That's the most open and shut case ever.

A professional fighter is able to tee off on a guys face for multiple unblocked shots without any gloves and the other guy isn't knocked out.

EVERYTHING

If you think about it, Irish whips are really stupid.

Same with slingshots.

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You know, I never realized how that promo is basically admitting that wrestling is fake.

"Yes, this is entertainment."

Arquette being champion,Paul bearer dying twice and the entire Kane/Taker feud.Starting from 1998 on it had gotten worse and worse.

The punching/stomping the ring.

When one guy does a bunch of flippy moves and the other guy waits for them to hit them.
Also Rey Mysterio's 6-1-9. Its a great move but when the other guy is obviously hanging on the ropes waiting for it, it becomes an embrassement.

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Edge kidnapping Paul Bearer for several months, traveling around the country with him in tow. (Somehow being the good guy whilst doing so)

I have the best looking Irish Whip in the world ever! I need to get my shit together and get some videos online of my matches. I put so much effort into my Whips for the reasons you said. This is my true goal in the wrestling industry.

Undertaker is known for his streak.

Ric Flair is known for his 16 title reigns.

I will be known for my Irish Whip.

When someone gets attacked in the ring, makes his comeback, the heal leaves the ring and the face just stands there like the ropes are holding him back. I always, to this day, yell at the TV "GO GET HIM! HES RIGHT THERE!"

slingshots are pretty bad.

People bending over between another guys legs just waiting to be powerbombed.

How royal rumble's always end on time. people suddenly start getting eliminated faster.

how wrestlers only end up bent over the second rope in rey mysterio matches (setup for 619)

Nope. Was never told about it in training, just something I picked up whilst watching other people with their shite Irish Whips.

MY IRISH WHIPS ARE THE REAL DEAL!!!

Every aspect of Wrestling looks fake. My wife sits beside me while I'm watching Raw and always asks, "What the hell do you watch this shit for?" or "This is the worst shit on T.V. It's so fake."

When I tell her most of the shit would hurt, she responses, "Whocares? 99% of the shit these guys do is fake, it is for children."

I can't fight back at her anymore, because she is basically right.

If my wife swore at me that much I would punch her in the head.

Wrestlers who had never once used a powerbomb in their lives would do so against Billy Kidman, which he would reverse to the surprise of everyone.

2 men. Put baby oil on.
Then put sparkly little pants on.
Then come out with fireworks and the whole shebang.
All this just to fight each other.

Surely if they really wanted to fight then they would do it backstage in the locker room as soon as they see each other.

Vintage Stone Cold!!!

Being buried alive.

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Does your cunt of a wife realize that every show on television is fake? Tell her to shut the fuck up and go watch some fake doctors perform fake surgery and talk about their fake emotions.

Of course they break his fall
Why get arrested if they are parented a fight?
Closed fists are illegal
He is just that damn good
------------------------------------------
Mark responses

wow

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Couldn't resist it. Besides, more Dennis Stamp is always good for one's health.

How is Cena wins mean its fake? I'm pretty sure he'd do just fine in a fight. Has a fist like a sledgehammer.

every week?
fuck off

Irish whips are the most ridiculous. You push a guy and what does he do instead of falling down? He runs, bounces against rubber rober after turning around to run into you doing whatever you want to him.

Yeah Cena's kind of a beast. Dunno if you guys noticed. He has a bit of muscle.

Yeah, people bending over waiting for a move is silly as well.

If he's that unconcsious why doesn't he just like, you know, fall down?

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Also, cage matches always get to me. Half the time it is just "Ok. Why did he not just walk out the door?" or "Surely he can't be having that much of a hard time climbing that thing".

Homicide did.

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Pretty much all the stuff above, minus the shit posts.

u mad?

Yeah, this.

The set ups for Booker and Truth's axe kicks are just too funny sometimes.

EVERY finishing move is ridiculously fake.

And some are more ridiculous than others.

:lol: garenteed, damn auto checker

When one guy checks on the other after a big spot.
Blatant calling of the match.
Earl Hebner's stupid full rotate of the shoulder on a near fall.
When the ref doesn't hear the use of a steel chair behind his back.
When title matches are "overturned" for use of underhand tactics when for the most part the results go unchanged in normal matches.
This:
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Low-ki/Daniel Bryan fuck it ANYONE getting their opponents to their knees and kicking the ever loving shit out of them yet they dont collapse right away not until that last kick to the head in fact staying in a kneel position for said kicks is even more ludicrous but goddamn it looks cool

Even when he loses he wins

I'll refer to the always quotable-Kevin Nash who said...

you wouldn't beat a guy in a bar, and when he's down climb up on top of the bar and drop an elbow on him.

Wrestling is pre-determined... the whole thing is blatantly obvious. You don't watch it for the realism.... you don't have of these conversations about any other show on tv.

just enjoyyyyyyyy it. or don't waaaaaatch it.

o forgot Kane & Taker can shoot lightning from their fingertips and Hornswoggle can do assorted magical acts.

Nothing fake about a DDT. Then again, that hasn't been a "finisher" for anyone but Tommy Dreamer and Raven in like 20 years.

Nah, my favorite tell about how fake wrestling is... more than getting punched in the face and not bruising... being hit with (improbable and impractical) moves that -- if by some divine intervention ever DID land -- would probably cripple or kill someone, and yet people bounce right back up.

Dude, if I beat the fuck out of a guy in a bar fight, first thing I'm doing is a moonsault off the bar. People are gonna remember that I was there.

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I saw this on TV years ago... Even though it's fake, it's more entertaining than that boring shit UFC.

HA, Even the fans esp. the sign boards are fake too!!

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Just 4 off the back of my mind.

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The one thats really stupid is the slow mOtion climb that happens during ladder matches

No matter how many times I watch this, it's still one of the greatest things in the history of pro wrestling.

That could actually be explained by saying that Rey Mysterio, knowing that he needs to set people up for the 619, has developed a style where the opponent often lands on the second rope.

It's like Dolph Ziggler attacking the neck making ready for the sleeper hold ... Only you know - 2. rope Rey Mysterio :)

One reason you know wrestling is fake, is the stupid deals people will agree to!

"Okay - you have an upcoming championship match at the next PPV! However I've just insulted your mother -now you must fight me for your #1 contender spot, or I shall continue to insult your mother! Muahahahahaha"

This doesn't really have to do with wrestling being fake, but with these old timers and their delusions of grandeur.

1. People Die and then Come Back to Life (see: Paul Bearer)

2. US Law does not apply in the WWE Universe (spousal abuse, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted homicide, borderline rape, borderline indecent exposure, human sacrifice to Dark Gods, vehicular manslaughter attempts, grand theft auto, destruction of property, and more do not apply).

3. Hulk Hogan's "Hulk Up" (come the fuck on)

4. Wrestlers can take an absolute beating for 15-20 minutes and still be standing, but one accidental bump into a referee and the ref will be unconscious for 5 minutes.

5. Val Venis didn't quit wrestling after getting his penis chopped off. Come on.

6. You can be champion forever if you want. Just get disqualified when it looks like you're going to lose. Every time. Or just walk off with your belt. The rules state you will lose, but you will keep your belt, even though you're being a little bitch. Chris Jericho should have gotten himself DQ'd at WrestleMania X8. I mean come on.

7. Referees don't hear entrance music of interfering/returning superstars and stay concentrated on the match at hand.

8. Despite having cameras shooting every angle of a match, there is no referee "playback option" to see if cheating occured or not.

9. Fans (plants) get beaten up by heels and it is not national news the next day.

10. Undertaker can shoot electricity from the sky to the ring at will. Kane can set things on fire and turn all of the lights in the arena red.

11. John Cena cannot be killed except by Kryptonite.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Val experienced shrinkage just before Wally Yamaguchi could cut his penis off. He bragged about it the next week on RAW with John Bobbitt. Yes, this was actually how this angle was booked.

This is one of those things I point to when people talk about how amazing the Attitude Era was.

AMEN!

Does your cunt of a wife realize that every show on television is fake? Tell her to shut the fuck up and go watch some fake doctors perform fake surgery and talk about their fake emotions.

lol i gotta remember that

Triple H isn't World Heavyweight Champion.

Still better than the West Coast Pop. Rey always seemed to be in more danger than who he was supposedly delivering the move to.

And I liked the 619 better when it was a rope dive feint instead of an offensive maneuver.

On topic: I saw my first obvious tell when I was little and went to a house show at the Beeghly Center, then saw the exact same Sgt. Slaughter match two days later, and from another location, on Superstars. In particular, a complaint about a "hair pull" spot to the ref by a bald Slaughter. The seeds of smark were planted on that day.

All that barbed wire in ECW and those fake ass lacerations on Terry Funk and Sabu's body.

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Mankind through the top of the HIAC with that tooth coming out of his nose... everyone knows it was a marshmallow.

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Hardcore Holly and that laceration on his back, he was obviously juicing.

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Droz so over played that "neck injury" with his life long devotion to being in a wheel chair just to make the story seem real.

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Stone Colds body is fine he just really wants to be a cupcake designer... thats why he wont come back to WWE.

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Devon Dudlys head looks like a manwich.... due to all the juicing

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Ken Anderson does not really have a concusion...well probably very overplayed at this point.

Not so much a tell, but another irritation.

Someone's kicking the shit out of some one.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

What.. they expect them to be so annoyed by the constant dinging they'll stop?

Vince appearing on TV after being blown up.

Sounds like a bitter, condescending wife you have there. How can you stand for her talking down to you and telling you what you enjoy is for children and you shouldn't watch?
What a hater.

There are obviously a million examples here, but the funniest for me have always been the placement of cameras backstage, and how oblivious everyone in the show is to them.
And most everything involving stupid refs and cheating, and the failure for things to be overturned.

You can say what you want about one-time deals, but you do understand that even in storylines, wrestlers have been threatened with having titles stripped for this behavior; and not only that, wrestlers who try to walk out on a match have occasionally been threatened with losing their titles (see Wrestlemania 9, Hogan/Beefcake vs Money Inc.)

This actually makes sense. In order to exit the ring you will make yourself vulnerable for a moment when you bend over, climb through the ropes, and hop to the floor. If your opponent is a cowardly, opportunistic jerk, it's always possible that he'll take advantage of you during this window. I'm sure I've seen this exact thing happen, though I can't remember exactly when.

For one thing, do we really beleive this guy has a wife? And if he does, it makes perfect sense that he'd put up with any level of abuse because she's likely the only woman stupid enough to deal with him.

This is just another example of the supreme stupidity of WCW. Even if the TV viewing audience could see the Warrior in the mirror, the announcers should not have been able to. THe way it's pulled off, Bischoff is the ONLY PERSON who can't see him, which makes HIM the crazy one.

Even though that thing was pretty well scrapped in the wake of the Benoit incident, I'm pretty sure Vince stated in his first kayfabe appearance afterwards that the exploding limo was a hoax he set up to see how everyone would deal with his death.

This is why authority figures are great. Although it also begs the question why they don't reverse injustices and screwjobs more often. Especially lower down the card.

To a certain extent the "referee's decision is final" holds a lot of weight; it's part of wrestling/sports entertainment in general that screwjobs and dirty wins will happen; without that notion a lot of setups and feud developments would be a lot harder to pull off. Also consider how many authority figures are crooked and how many screwjobs involve them.

Yeah I'd probably remember "that drunk guy who tried a wrestling move off the bar... yeah it didn't work... hilarious though" haha