Post-Wrestlemania: "Crier" Zack Ryder, a.k.a. "The Enhanced Talent"
 

Understanding that Zack Ryder has ended his 100-episode "Long Island Iced Z" series and how his "Hoeski" single has peaked, he has nothing to look forward to except generating more heat through his complaints about not being featured on WWE cameras. The consistent theme is when all the pageantry of New Jersey clubber Zack Ryder exhausts itself, the true angst of Matt Cardoma glooms on.

There is only so much longer Ryder can push the same gimmick and expect better results. Even his proclamations in "Hoeski" sound haunting: "But I still woo-woo-woo" sounds more tired than enthusiastic, and "Someday I'll get over you" sounds more like a wish than an actuality. In other words, the lyrics and production make Zack seem emo.

So why not exploit these tendencies into a gimmick change? Have Ryder make an "unscripted" WrestleMania run-in and be confronted backstage by Talent Relations (with cameras present, of course). If the Divas have an on-camera match, then have that be the interrupted match for additional angst. Bonus points if it's an Eve match and Ryder distracts her to cost the match in a reversal of the situation last WrestleMania.

Zack then tweets about how he made his own WrestleMania moment despite haters. The following RAW, Ryder interrupts a comedy segment (maybe Brodus and Tensai's post-match victory dance) to complain how their Vaudeville act is taking away his TV time. Have B&T challenge Zack to a tag match for the next RAW.

Because no one wants to be Zack's partner, the General Manager gives him a mystery partner. The better-communicating team of B&T wins, causing Ryder to take out his frustration on his partner with arm waving and aggressive questioning. The weeks after, Ryder again faces B&T with a different randomly assigned partner each RAW (complaining on social media all the while) until one day his mystery partner is Hornswoggle. After losing to B&T yet again, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Hornswoggle to complete his heel turn.

Later in the program, Matt Striker asks Ryder, "Of all the people to victimize, why Hornswoggle?" Ryder: "Why Hornswoggle? You mean, 'Why Zack Ryder?' Why am I forced into the situation of being a joke or being off camera? Zack Ryder is not comedy fodder. Next week, I'll show the WWE Universe a new side of me." Striker: "What exactly do you mean, Zack? Are you alright?" Ryder walks away.

The Monday after, Michael Cole opens RAW by running down the match lineup with the additional statement "including the revelation of a 'new side' of Zack Ryder." At the top of the second hour, Ryder emerges on the ramp without entrance music or video and with black highlights in his hair and wearing a plain black tee shirt, black slacks, and black wrestling boots. Gone is the Long Island smile, replaced by a serious frown and intense glares to the audience as he comes to the ring.

Microphone in hand, Ryder proclaims, "You people were the grassroots movement which made WWE sit up and take notice of Zack Ryder. But now the honeymoon's over, and WWE no longer cares you've been behind me for over two years. I'm sick and tired of woo-woo-woo'ing for everyone like I'm some kind of novelty. Zack Ryder is main event material, not novelty!"

Ryder lowers the mic and looks around, absorbing the boos. Raising the mic anew, Ryder continues, "I tell it like it is, and you people have the nerve to boo! Go ahead, because WWE doesn't care about your opinion! Zack Ryder will now give the highers up what they want to see, a desperate man on a manic mission, and the so-called 'WWE Universe' (hand quotes) can shove (sticks palm forward) off (thrusts arm to the side)." Ryder looks around again to absorb more boos, drops the mic, and sulks to the back.

"Crier" Zack Ryder (have Lawler coin the term) would borrow elements from "Age of the Fall"-era Jimmy Jacobs and 2003-2004 Raven while bringing Ryder's angst to the forefront. While heel, Zack would maintain his YouTube account to engage fans into berating him for his actions and general outlook. YT users tend to enjoy insulting each other, and so it's a given many would comment on Ryder's wall and videos thereby boosting name recognition. Although the WWEFanNation account does not allow comments, a workaround is WWE could permit Zack to resume uploading through his own account because "WWE does not sanction the outbursts of Mr. Ryder" and so forth. Do the same with his Twitter and Tout accounts.

Have these segments continue over several RAWs, culminating in the following promo, "Do you fans now understand? I was right! As soon as I got real, WWE gave me more camera time. Not the comedy skit type of exposure, but real promotional time. So now that I have everyone's attention, including that of those who *really* count--" (looks around to absorb boos) "--I hereby demand my rematch with Dolph Ziggler! I won the U.S. Championship from Ziggler at Survivor Series 2011 and lost the title back to him but was never granted another try! Now he's Mr. Money in the Bank, and I considering I've never been privileged to participate in such a match, I wonder if the Show Off would care to put his briefcase on the line. Dolph, if you're man enough and not hiding behind your body bodyguard and that crazy chick, then come out and face me."

Ziggler comes out with Langston and AJ to answer. Dolph and Zack have a verbal exchange, ending with Ziggler accepting for "later tonight" and Ryder remarking, "Your gravy train is going to be derailed." They face each other in a ten-minute match in which Dolph comes to the ring alone and Ryder counters both the rocker dropper and the Zig-Zag, hitting a small package which Dolph kicks out from. As Ziggler gets up, Ryder fireman carries him into a Samoan drop and rolls back for the pin with his feet on the turnbuckle, which the ref does not see when he slaps the three count!

Ryder slides out of the ring, grabs the MITB briefcase and runs backstage before Langston and AJ come out to help Ziggler to the back. The following week, Ryder cuts the following promo, "Last week, I upstaged the Show Off! Now Zack Ryder is Mr. Money in the Bank! How does it feel, Dolph, to plummet so quickly? I bet next week you'll be facing a jobber on Superstars. I have proven that Zack Ryder is not enhancement talent but the Enhanced Talent!" Ryder absorb the boos, continuing, "And the Enhanced Talent doesn't need catchphrases to get over--"

Ziggler's music interrupts, and Dolph comes out saying, "--Because not only are you over in your own mind, but YOU ARE OVER. PERIOD." Ziggler rushes the ring, but Ryder bails with the briefcase. They have similar exchanges on Raw the next few weeks (Langston and AJ refusing to help for whatever reasons the writers and Vince agree upon), culminating in a Backlash match which ends with Ryder assaulting Dolph with a chair after the match to set up more promos and matches to continue their feud through King of the Ring and potentially SummerSlam. Thus, Ryder is elevated to working with other main events long-term and Dolph stays on his own as a competent talker.

If WWE needed to kill the gimmick for whatever reason, they could have a character (maybe Hornswoggle) discover a toy gun in Ryder's gym bag and report it to police, who then escort Ryder off the premises ("Sir, do not struggle. Resisting arrest is a crime.") and send him into a mental health lockdown facility (where a live camera feed just happens to be as Zack wails in frustration). Ryder could return several weeks later "rehabilitated into a new man with a love for life" and perhaps do a DDP-style motivational speaker gimmick in tandem with Dr. Shelby.

Bonus permutation: If Jack Chick somehow ticks off WWE in the interim, then Ryder could hand out Chick-style tracts to the audience on his way to the ring and talk about how Dr. Shelby "saved" him with his prison ministry of "Shelby tracts" and now it is his turn to "save" the WWE Universe from their mutually assured hatred and destruction. But again, the focus after WrestleMania is for Ryder to develop his angst into a gimmick change to show WWE Creative something new. Your thoughts?

I got through about half of that, but it wouldn't work because Ryder doesn't have the acting chops to turn heel or be anything other than a comedy wrestler or maybe a sympathetic face like during his angle with Ziggler/Eve/Cena. He's fine in those roles, and he's fun to have around, but let's not let his show cloud our judgement of him. He's quite average at most things.

This would push his current boundaries, as intended.

Don't get me wrong, it's a fine scenario and it'd definitely be interesting. But I just don't see Ryder being anything more than what he is, which is fine.

Read a little bit of both. My only comment is Eve does not work for the WWE anymore.

There's no way in fuck I'm reading that. Ill just assume he snaps and turns into a loner submission machine.

I hope Ryder does well cause he seems like a nice guy, but I just can't see it in him. He's still pretty young though so I guess anything is possible.

Have Zack Ryder actually metamorph into Jimmy Jacobs. Like it's clearly Jimmy Jacobs but everyones still calling him Zack Ryder, don't even change his titantron or anything.

Then repackage the real Zack Ryder as Scotty Goldman.

I have no sympathy for Ryder. the guy has made a lot of money, traveled the world and for a job is a freaking profressional wrestler. stop freaking complaining on twitter and just ask for your release or stfu

He's bottom of the card, shares a small flat with his irritating friend and spent a year begging people to buy his merch for a low end cut like he was working a gimmick table in a high school gym so I doubt he's actually made that much money.

His butt hurt bitching has taken to being annoying, and I really never cared for him so I don't care if they really ever do anything else with him.

I've got an even better idea. Zack Ryder comes out to the ring and cuts a shoot promo. He says "The likes of William Regal, HBK, and even Jim Ross had to join the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club. Well tonight, I cement my legacy by topping them. Tonight, I'm joining the Vince McMahon Suck My Dick Club!" He then provides the chairman of the board with some fellatio. Zack then changes his name to Blowey Kardashian.

That's not a very good idea, michael.

Why not?

He got his chance.

If he's not still being featured, I'm sure there's a good reason.

Fuck his whining.

See now this is just absurd. How angry are we as a wrestling fan base about WWE maintaining the status quo, not building new stars, not rewarding effort and then we get a guy who's going out of his way to try to better himself and he gets labeled a whiner. What are we doing here folks?

Zack Whiner

TL DR.

I'm not angry about WWE maintaining status quo at all. I've loved seeing The Rock and Brock Lesnar come back to WWE, I love it every time Y2J comes back, I'm happy Triple H is back on tv and I hope Undertaker comes back tonight.

All I can hope for is Kevin Nash returns at some point.

Partying like it's 1999, baby.

"The Mechanic" Zack Ryder could be a good gimmick for him.

http://hotpopjunk.files.wordpress.co.../zackryder.jpg

Jesus, he is a midcarder at best and he had his moment in the sun. Everyone should just be happy he isn't tagging with Robbie E in TNA.

Hell yeah, bubba.

He could always be threatening to "check your oil".

Or they could have him come out at the start of RAW and cut a promo where he could be all like "Change is coming".

Then, later on the show, they could cut backstage and show him changing some spark plugs and he could look into the camera and say "Change came".

"Smarks" are so fucking fickle. You were -all- on the Ryder bandwagon back when he started his stupid youtube show and now you're all against him? How long 'till Ryback starts getting shit on? Oh wait that's starting too...

Ryder is definitely not World Title material, but he's a great mid-card face. The fans constantly shout "We want Ryder!" yet WWE refuses to send him out. Let the guy have the spot he's earned. Put him in the IC or US title picture so we can get some other matches besides Kofi vs Generic Heel.

We had Zack as US champ already. And it was boring.

Lol when have they chanted that in the past 9 months. Just because he's worked hard doesn't mean he should be a champ. The WWE should just cut him and Punk. They are why ratings are terrible.

They just chanted it a couple weeks ago on RAW you dingus. And I'd like to know how Ryder is hurting ratings if he's never on television. I won't even start on why you're wrong about the reason the ratings are dipping thing because that's a whole different topic, but seriously how does a guy hurt ratings when he's not featured at all?

Ratings finally went up when Ryder was kept off TV and Punk dropped the belt. These vanilla midgets are killing the company and it's costing too much money in fabric to make t-shirts for Punk's XXXL fans.

Can't you at least come up with a new schtick? The "Punk is bad GRRR!" and "Basement dwelling virgin!" thing is getting stale as fuck. Ratings went up because it's wrestlemania season, nothing more. And in case you didn't notice the ratings haven't gone up all that much compared to other years passed. Looks like maybe Rocky and Lesnar aren't the ratings powerhouses you thought are they?

Ratings were never as low as they were with Punk as champ. FACT. Punk's fans are morbidally obese: FACT, Punk fans would need to rape a small child to get laid: FACT.

This is why I'm the pulse of the WWE Universe.

Oh so things now become fact just because we put FACT in front of them?

FACT, I'm a millionaire!

FACT, I've got a beautiful french model for a girlfriend!

FACT, I live in a mansion on my own private island!

Holy shit dude this is awesome! Thank you so much for telling me this I'll never have to work another day in my life now!

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/...--Hasb-008.jpg

http://www.worldfishing.net/__data/a...-Photobank.jpg

http://www.fishtec.co.uk/blog/wp-con...k-Williams.jpg

See, what I pointed out were truths. You're a Punk fan so it's obvious you're lying.

I think I'm the only honest person here.

Aha! In an interview posted today, Ryder seemingly plays into this very gimmick change. Behold, "...Doing that last episode [of Long Island Iced Z] and watching it, I cried a lot. It was emotional." from URL:
http://www.tpww.net/2013/03/zack-ryd...er-slump-more/

Ryder & Hawkins reunion in the tag division with Matt Striker as their mouthpiece.....that is all.....

Bingo.

I appreciate that Ryder is has gotten himself over and works hard, and he is a good talent, but over the years he hasn't really improved. The best matches I have ever seen from him are still his ECW bouts with Christian. His promo work also isn't that notable. The dude is really likeable, but if he's going to break any new ground, I think he needs to either get notably better or there needs to be some sort of change. Other than that, he can expect to stay where he is.

I'm all for Curt Hawkins and Ryder being paired together again post-WrestleMania. The WWE could always use some new blood in the tag team division, and as a permanent team, Ryder & Hawkins could actually get quite over and be quite useful.

He was wearing tights that said "Push Me" on them on RAW. Bringing his frustrated gimmick onto TV could work. Have him throw tantrums after losing matches and thus turning heel..........

..... And then still losing all the time.

Geez, Noid Post much?

After campaigning vigorously for appointment to General Manager of Saturday Morning Slam, Ryder lost to Mick Foley, who has not even mentioned he was up for it AFAIK:
http://www.tpww.net/2013/03/new-satu...-wrestlemania/

Ryder has even less to lose by following this thread's story arc!

Can't help but notice that he's not tanned as of late and letting the hair grow out wonder if this a sign that his gimmick might change or he could be reverting to one half of the Edgeheads.

Ryder & Hawkins pairing up after WrestleMania seems like the most obvious and smartest decision the WWE could possibly make regarding the future of both men.

Yes, like Chris Jericho in late 1997.

If the Cruiserweight or Light Heavyweight Title were still active in WWE, then Ryder would probably get a run with either.

And Christian in 2002.

Either way, right now, it'd just be best for him to be on a team, or go into a heel phase.

Just ONE MORE MATCH!!!

If I was Ryder I would just try to get fired and try my luck else where. But i say he should either turn heel and try to be a more serious and darker character or Team him with Curt Hawkins again.

He needs to drop the whole gimmick, it's just gonna hold him back for life.

Turn heel and wear black trunks, shave your head, grow a beard.

Fuck it, just be the next Berlyn.

I'm gonna re-post my previous idea for Ryder from a previous thread.

Anyway, this is my idea: Zack Ryder continues to voice his disappointment in WWE, which eventually turns out to be all storyline. Vince McMahon finds out about what Zack Ryder has been saying and one night, comes out to the ring and invites Zack to join him.

He offers Ryder a chance to not only be on TV one night, but every night! Vince officially announces the "Long Island Gauntlet Challenge". A series of 10 matches that Zack Ryder would compete in; If he somehow wins all 10 of them, he earns a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, but if he loses just once, then Ryder is officially fired. Maybe to even raise the stakes, he announces that Z! TLS is cancelled in order for Zack to get the chance to compete.

Thus begins the matches; 1st opponent or 2 would be easy. Say, Hunico or Michael McGilicutty. Then as it gets closer to 10, the challenges get harder for Ryder. For instance, there would be a handicap match between say, The PrimeTime Players. Through team miscalculation, Zack takes advantage and scores the win.

Then comes a match with some sort of legend of wrestling. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking Bob Backlund to give him a bit of a challenge. Ryder wins this as well. Eventually Ryder even faces off against his 'rival' Kane. Before that fight, he faces Daniel Bryan and beats him, then when it comes time to face Kane, Bryan ends up causing a distraction and Ryder finally defeats the Big Red Machine.

Then comes match number 10...his opponent...Randy Orton. Knowing what's at stake, Zack goes all out and gets serious in his challenge against Orton and nearly gets nailed with the RKO. However, Zack reverses it and when Orton decides to go for a RKO again, he fails to see Ryder get up and as soon as he turns around...ROUGH RYDER! 1...2...3! Ryder wins the gauntlet!

Which is where Vickie comes out and informs Ryder he wins his title shot which would happen...'right now'. Out comes Ziggler, the WHC, who seems confident that he would beat the tired Zack Ryder. He takes Ryder to the limits and as he goes for the Sleeper Hold, Ryder rolls him up in a small package! 1...2...3!!!!!!!

ZACK RYDER IS THE NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! he proves he does have what it takes to be in WWE and as a result, this becomes the first step of Zack Ryder slowly succeeding John Cena as the 'face of the WWE'.

You're Welcome. ;)

Good point about it working for Alex Wright before Bischoff left and Russo steered the gimmick into jobberdom. Garish merchandise works for Cena because he's evolved but not for Ryder because few fans remember his pre-Ryder days as one of the Major Brothers. If Creative and Vince agree to revert Hawkins and Ryder back into the Major Bros, then it might make Ryder fresh for another year.

I just want to thank everyone for contributing because it seems by collective wisdom to be the most logical route to go really is the Major Bros. reunion, as Noid, Cool King, XCaliber, etc. have been saying.

I like the Gauntlet idea. Your proposal to have Ryder win via rollup ties into the discussion about matches lacking suspense lately due to few pinfalls on non-finisher moves.

The Major Browskis vs. Epico & Primo is a perfectly fine Superstars feud. Things to consider:

* Zack Ryder and Primo were once tag team partners themselves, known unofficially as "Team DZP," because the people were "Down with Zack and Primo." Perhaps a "friendly rivalry" could be the initiator of this tag team feud.

* Zack Ryder once had a bit of an interest in Epico & Primo's current valet, Rosa Mendes back when the two were in ECW together. Perhaps Rosa and Ryder's past could be used to heighten tensions between the two teams. Perhaps after losing a tag team match to Ryder & Hawkins, Epico, Primo & Rosa could hit Zack below the belt by talking about how he couldn't really "Ryder" if you know what they mean.

* Epico & Primo are fucking fantastic and deserve to be doing something in-between being used to put over the monster of the week.

I'm sure Zack wouldn't mind using the Internet Championship he had made for storyline purposes. I'm sure Ryder would put the "title on the line" against Primo in a match on Superstars, and drop it after some heel shenanigans. This could even be what really kick-starts this feud into hyper-drive. Primo & Epico could do some hilarious things with the belt and Ryder could be all mad and shit.

If the feud takes off you can spread it to different shows, but it could be perfectly fine as a story told on Superstars over several months. You could even do Ryder & Hawkins vs. Epico & Primo in a Ladder Match with the Internet Championship hanging up there. If people start taking more notice of the teams, great, but even if they don't, you can at least say you did something with them.

I appreciate your memory of the Ryder-Primo dynamic. This sounds even more feasible than pushing Hawkins back together with Zack. Good stuff! :y:

I kind of just wish that Superstars was used to enhance the personas of lower card guys instead of just having them wrestle for no reason.

thats what i want to see i think they could be a good heel tag team

are you talking about ryder or fandango? I like fandango but I feel this gimmick will never get him to a top tier.

Zack Ryder should just drink his own piss and revive his show

I'd even go a step further and rehire Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft to reform the Dude Busters but have Ryder leading the group that would be... SICK!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr...h5ko1_1280.jpg

:y:I'm dead serious when I say this is so fucking horrible that I want to punch you.

Zack Ryder going over Randy Orton clean would cause all of time and space to implode out of shame.

Ryder.

The Fandango is job-proof I'll have you know.

Robbie E. is far more talented than people give him credit for. He's far better on the mic than Zack Ryder.

He has better mic skills than Stephen Hawking too. Big whoop.

:y:

Seems like a good idea too me.

He's better than a lot of people. He seems to get that his annoying character is dislikeable too.

Robbie E. is best at body language. One of his early 3PW matches as "Rob Eckos" (skinny as hell) showed him heel it up with the fans as a cross between Too Cool and "Model" Rick Martel, especially with his oversized, frame-less eyeglasses and theme song of "Unbelievable" by EMF.

YES YES YES
Zack is hinting at a gimmick change!
YES YES YES
http://www.tpww.net/2013/04/video-za...-island-story/

Don't believe what Ryan Clark posts

Ryder is joining The Shield I'm calling it now. :shifty:

4 man baaaaaaaand baby

Or he becomes a super-fan of 3MB like he is of Justin Beiber.

I like your idea of Ryder becoming a 3MB groupie / wannabe! That has potential.

I just want to thank Owen Brown for shaking his head at me rather than banning me outright. You are considerate! :y:

:y: Curd

Ryder vs Cena Book itz now!

Well, he just lost to Big E. Could be the end.

Mere speculation, but if Ryder asked for his release from WWE and jumped to TNA, do you think TNA would push him as a main eventer?

Probably. They did the same thing for Christian.

I'd laugh my ass off if TNA is dumb enough to push a WWE jobber as anything than a "pissed off midcarder". I imagine he'll be like everyone else, debut and bitch about Vince, be on TV for a few months, be on and off TV for a year or two, and then come crawling back to Vince for his old job back only to be denied and spend the rest of his career in indy hell.

dramatization of James Steele laughing his ass off when TNA pushes a WWE jobber
 

:shifty:

As someone who has been willfully ignoring Ryder for the past two years, what are some good Ryder matches?

There aren't any.

Is that because he hasn't been on TV or because he can't do a good match?

I'm sure he can "do" a good match, but I've yet to see one. There is not one single Ryder match that I remember at all. Also, I'm glad you popped in Theddy. You are one of the lost jewels on TPWW's crown of stupendousness.

thedric amndest needs to appear more often

His matches on ECW with Christian in 2009 are probably his most known matches of his career, maybe only second to his United States title win, which I didn't really enjoy that much.

To go along with his larger body mass, Zack Ryder could diversify his moveset. He might try the gutwrench suplex (a simple power move which is unlikely to injure either performer) and the turnbuckle powerbomb (a great setup for the Broski Bootscrape, though the sequence may be too CZW-ish).

<iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x12uclo"></iframe><br /><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x12uclo_12-18-11-dolph-ziggler-vs-zack-ryder-tlc_sport" target="_blank">12.18.11- Dolph Ziggler vs Zack Ryder- TLC</a> <i>by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/Kyle_Dixon" target="_blank">Kyle_Dixon</a></i>

Zack Ryder has been given the opportunity to showcase himself on RAW lately. Good for him. I still have no clue why he and Curt Hawkins haven't been paired together again.

Ryder had a great match with Christian in ECW.

And then Tommy Dreamer put him over by letting Ryder retire him in ECW.

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> This event is a few months old, but I did not see these results on TPWW:
http://www.wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/...event-results/

Zack Ryder was actually back in the US Title scene in Australia. Unrelated, but LMAO at Ryback's goofy heel promo, ""I'll drop trough and lay a Goldturd in the streets of Perth!"
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Zack Ryder's best ring work has been as a heel. I'd be all for him turning. A selfish, "I want attention!" Zack could be interesting.