Post-Wrestlemania: "Crier" Zack Ryder, a.k.a. "The Enhanced Talent"

**Curd** · 03-04-2013, 09:03 AM

Understanding that Zack Ryder has ended his 100-episode "Long Island Iced Z" series and how his "Hoeski" single has peaked, he has nothing to look forward to except generating more heat through his complaints about not being featured on WWE cameras. The consistent theme is when all the pageantry of New Jersey clubber Zack Ryder exhausts itself, the true angst of Matt Cardoma glooms on.

There is only so much longer Ryder can push the same gimmick and expect better results. Even his proclamations in "Hoeski" sound haunting: "But I still woo-woo-woo" sounds more tired than enthusiastic, and "Someday I'll get over you" sounds more like a wish than an actuality. In other words, the lyrics and production make Zack seem emo.

So why not exploit these tendencies into a gimmick change? Have Ryder make an "unscripted" WrestleMania run-in and be confronted backstage by Talent Relations (with cameras present, of course). If the Divas have an on-camera match, then have that be the interrupted match for additional angst. Bonus points if it's an Eve match and Ryder distracts her to cost the match in a reversal of the situation last WrestleMania.

Zack then tweets about how he made his own WrestleMania moment despite haters. The following RAW, Ryder interrupts a comedy segment (maybe Brodus and Tensai's post-match victory dance) to complain how their Vaudeville act is taking away his TV time. Have B&T challenge Zack to a tag match for the next RAW.

Because no one wants to be Zack's partner, the General Manager gives him a mystery partner. The better-communicating team of B&T wins, causing Ryder to take out his frustration on his partner with arm waving and aggressive questioning. The weeks after, Ryder again faces B&T with a different randomly assigned partner each RAW (complaining on social media all the while) until one day his mystery partner is Hornswoggle. After losing to B&T yet again, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Hornswoggle to complete his heel turn.

Later in the program, Matt Striker asks Ryder, "Of all the people to victimize, why Hornswoggle?" Ryder: "Why Hornswoggle? You mean, 'Why Zack Ryder?' Why am I forced into the situation of being a joke or being off camera? Zack Ryder is not comedy fodder. Next week, I'll show the WWE Universe a new side of me." Striker: "What exactly do you mean, Zack? Are you alright?" Ryder walks away.

The Monday after, Michael Cole opens RAW by running down the match lineup with the additional statement "including the revelation of a 'new side' of Zack Ryder." At the top of the second hour, Ryder emerges on the ramp without entrance music or video and with black highlights in his hair and wearing a plain black tee shirt, black slacks, and black wrestling boots. Gone is the Long Island smile, replaced by a serious frown and intense glares to the audience as he comes to the ring.

Microphone in hand, Ryder proclaims, "You people were the grassroots movement which made WWE sit up and take notice of Zack Ryder. But now the honeymoon's over, and WWE no longer cares you've been behind me for over two years. I'm sick and tired of woo-woo-woo'ing for everyone like I'm some kind of novelty. Zack Ryder is main event material, not novelty!"

Ryder lowers the mic and looks around, absorbing the boos. Raising the mic anew, Ryder continues, "I tell it like it is, and you people have the nerve to boo! Go ahead, because WWE doesn't care about your opinion! Zack Ryder will now give the highers up what they want to see, a desperate man on a manic mission, and the so-called 'WWE Universe' (hand quotes) can shove (sticks palm forward) off (thrusts arm to the side)." Ryder looks around again to absorb more boos, drops the mic, and sulks to the back.

"Crier" Zack Ryder (have Lawler coin the term) would borrow elements from "Age of the Fall"-era Jimmy Jacobs and 2003-2004 Raven while bringing Ryder's angst to the forefront. While heel, Zack would maintain his YouTube account to engage fans into berating him for his actions and general outlook. YT users tend to enjoy insulting each other, and so it's a given many would comment on Ryder's wall and videos thereby boosting name recognition. Although the WWEFanNation account does not allow comments, a workaround is WWE could permit Zack to resume uploading through his own account because "WWE does not sanction the outbursts of Mr. Ryder" and so forth. Do the same with his Twitter and Tout accounts.

Have these segments continue over several RAWs, culminating in the following promo, "Do you fans now understand? I was right! As soon as I got real, WWE gave me more camera time. Not the comedy skit type of exposure, but real promotional time. So now that I have everyone's attention, including that of those who *really* count--" (looks around to absorb boos) "--I hereby demand my rematch with Dolph Ziggler! I won the U.S. Championship from Ziggler at Survivor Series 2011 and lost the title back to him but was never granted another try! Now he's Mr. Money in the Bank, and I considering I've never been privileged to participate in such a match, I wonder if the Show Off would care to put his briefcase on the line. Dolph, if you're man enough and not hiding behind your body bodyguard and that crazy chick, then come out and face me."

Ziggler comes out with Langston and AJ to answer. Dolph and Zack have a verbal exchange, ending with Ziggler accepting for "later tonight" and Ryder remarking, "Your gravy train is going to be derailed." They face each other in a ten-minute match in which Dolph comes to the ring alone and Ryder counters both the rocker dropper and the Zig-Zag, hitting a small package which Dolph kicks out from. As Ziggler gets up, Ryder fireman carries him into a Samoan drop and rolls back for the pin with his feet on the turnbuckle, which the ref does not see when he slaps the three count!

Ryder slides out of the ring, grabs the MITB briefcase and runs backstage before Langston and AJ come out to help Ziggler to the back. The following week, Ryder cuts the following promo, "Last week, I upstaged the Show Off! Now Zack Ryder is Mr. Money in the Bank! How does it feel, Dolph, to plummet so quickly? I bet next week you'll be facing a jobber on Superstars. I have proven that Zack Ryder is not enhancement talent but the Enhanced Talent!" Ryder absorb the boos, continuing, "And the Enhanced Talent doesn't need catchphrases to get over--"

Ziggler's music interrupts, and Dolph comes out saying, "--Because not only are you over in your own mind, but YOU ARE OVER. PERIOD." Ziggler rushes the ring, but Ryder bails with the briefcase. They have similar exchanges on Raw the next few weeks (Langston and AJ refusing to help for whatever reasons the writers and Vince agree upon), culminating in a Backlash match which ends with Ryder assaulting Dolph with a chair after the match to set up more promos and matches to continue their feud through King of the Ring and potentially SummerSlam. Thus, Ryder is elevated to working with other main events long-term and Dolph stays on his own as a competent talker.

If WWE needed to kill the gimmick for whatever reason, they could have a character (maybe Hornswoggle) discover a toy gun in Ryder's gym bag and report it to police, who then escort Ryder off the premises ("Sir, do not struggle. Resisting arrest is a crime.") and send him into a mental health lockdown facility (where a live camera feed just happens to be as Zack wails in frustration). Ryder could return several weeks later "rehabilitated into a new man with a love for life" and perhaps do a DDP-style motivational speaker gimmick in tandem with Dr. Shelby.

Bonus permutation: If Jack Chick somehow ticks off WWE in the interim, then Ryder could hand out Chick-style tracts to the audience on his way to the ring and talk about how Dr. Shelby "saved" him with his prison ministry of "Shelby tracts" and now it is his turn to "save" the WWE Universe from their mutually assured hatred and destruction. But again, the focus after WrestleMania is for Ryder to develop his angst into a gimmick change to show WWE Creative something new. Your thoughts?

03-04-2013, 09:03 AM	#1
Curd The Will & The Whey Posts: 2,580	Post-Wrestlemania: "Crier" Zack Ryder, a.k.a. "The Enhanced Talent" Understanding that Zack Ryder has ended his 100-episode "Long Island Iced Z" series and how his "Hoeski" single has peaked, he has nothing to look forward to except generating more heat through his complaints about not being featured on WWE cameras. The consistent theme is when all the pageantry of New Jersey clubber Zack Ryder exhausts itself, the true angst of Matt Cardoma glooms on. There is only so much longer Ryder can push the same gimmick and expect better results. Even his proclamations in "Hoeski" sound haunting: "But I still woo-woo-woo" sounds more tired than enthusiastic, and "Someday I'll get over you" sounds more like a wish than an actuality. In other words, the lyrics and production make Zack seem emo. So why not exploit these tendencies into a gimmick change? Have Ryder make an "unscripted" WrestleMania run-in and be confronted backstage by Talent Relations (with cameras present, of course). If the Divas have an on-camera match, then have that be the interrupted match for additional angst. Bonus points if it's an Eve match and Ryder distracts her to cost the match in a reversal of the situation last WrestleMania. Zack then tweets about how he made his own WrestleMania moment despite haters. The following RAW, Ryder interrupts a comedy segment (maybe Brodus and Tensai's post-match victory dance) to complain how their Vaudeville act is taking away his TV time. Have B&T challenge Zack to a tag match for the next RAW. Because no one wants to be Zack's partner, the General Manager gives him a mystery partner. The better-communicating team of B&T wins, causing Ryder to take out his frustration on his partner with arm waving and aggressive questioning. The weeks after, Ryder again faces B&T with a different randomly assigned partner each RAW (complaining on social media all the while) until one day his mystery partner is Hornswoggle. After losing to B&T yet again, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Hornswoggle to complete his heel turn. Later in the program, Matt Striker asks Ryder, "Of all the people to victimize, why Hornswoggle?" Ryder: "Why Hornswoggle? You mean, 'Why Zack Ryder?' Why am I forced into the situation of being a joke or being off camera? Zack Ryder is not comedy fodder. Next week, I'll show the WWE Universe a new side of me." Striker: "What exactly do you mean, Zack? Are you alright?" Ryder walks away. The Monday after, Michael Cole opens RAW by running down the match lineup with the additional statement "including the revelation of a 'new side' of Zack Ryder." At the top of the second hour, Ryder emerges on the ramp without entrance music or video and with black highlights in his hair and wearing a plain black tee shirt, black slacks, and black wrestling boots. Gone is the Long Island smile, replaced by a serious frown and intense glares to the audience as he comes to the ring. Microphone in hand, Ryder proclaims, "You people were the grassroots movement which made WWE sit up and take notice of Zack Ryder. But now the honeymoon's over, and WWE no longer cares you've been behind me for over two years. I'm sick and tired of woo-woo-woo'ing for everyone like I'm some kind of novelty. Zack Ryder is main event material, not novelty!" Ryder lowers the mic and looks around, absorbing the boos. Raising the mic anew, Ryder continues, "I tell it like it is, and you people have the nerve to boo! Go ahead, because WWE doesn't care about your opinion! Zack Ryder will now give the highers up what they want to see, a desperate man on a manic mission, and the so-called 'WWE Universe' (hand quotes) can shove (sticks palm forward) off (thrusts arm to the side)." Ryder looks around again to absorb more boos, drops the mic, and sulks to the back. "Crier" Zack Ryder (have Lawler coin the term) would borrow elements from "Age of the Fall"-era Jimmy Jacobs and 2003-2004 Raven while bringing Ryder's angst to the forefront. While heel, Zack would maintain his YouTube account to engage fans into berating him for his actions and general outlook. YT users tend to enjoy insulting each other, and so it's a given many would comment on Ryder's wall and videos thereby boosting name recognition. Although the WWEFanNation account does not allow comments, a workaround is WWE could permit Zack to resume uploading through his own account because "WWE does not sanction the outbursts of Mr. Ryder" and so forth. Do the same with his Twitter and Tout accounts. Have these segments continue over several RAWs, culminating in the following promo, "Do you fans now understand? I was right! As soon as I got real, WWE gave me more camera time. Not the comedy skit type of exposure, but real promotional time. So now that I have everyone's attention, including that of those who really count--" (looks around to absorb boos) "--I hereby demand my rematch with Dolph Ziggler! I won the U.S. Championship from Ziggler at Survivor Series 2011 and lost the title back to him but was never granted another try! Now he's Mr. Money in the Bank, and I considering I've never been privileged to participate in such a match, I wonder if the Show Off would care to put his briefcase on the line. Dolph, if you're man enough and not hiding behind your body bodyguard and that crazy chick, then come out and face me." Ziggler comes out with Langston and AJ to answer. Dolph and Zack have a verbal exchange, ending with Ziggler accepting for "later tonight" and Ryder remarking, "Your gravy train is going to be derailed." They face each other in a ten-minute match in which Dolph comes to the ring alone and Ryder counters both the rocker dropper and the Zig-Zag, hitting a small package which Dolph kicks out from. As Ziggler gets up, Ryder fireman carries him into a Samoan drop and rolls back for the pin with his feet on the turnbuckle, which the ref does not see when he slaps the three count! Ryder slides out of the ring, grabs the MITB briefcase and runs backstage before Langston and AJ come out to help Ziggler to the back. The following week, Ryder cuts the following promo, "Last week, I upstaged the Show Off! Now Zack Ryder is Mr. Money in the Bank! How does it feel, Dolph, to plummet so quickly? I bet next week you'll be facing a jobber on Superstars. I have proven that Zack Ryder is not enhancement talent but the Enhanced Talent!" Ryder absorb the boos, continuing, "And the Enhanced Talent doesn't need catchphrases to get over--" Ziggler's music interrupts, and Dolph comes out saying, "--Because not only are you over in your own mind, but YOU ARE OVER. PERIOD." Ziggler rushes the ring, but Ryder bails with the briefcase. They have similar exchanges on Raw the next few weeks (Langston and AJ refusing to help for whatever reasons the writers and Vince agree upon), culminating in a Backlash match which ends with Ryder assaulting Dolph with a chair after the match to set up more promos and matches to continue their feud through King of the Ring and potentially SummerSlam. Thus, Ryder is elevated to working with other main events long-term and Dolph stays on his own as a competent talker. If WWE needed to kill the gimmick for whatever reason, they could have a character (maybe Hornswoggle) discover a toy gun in Ryder's gym bag and report it to police, who then escort Ryder off the premises ("Sir, do not struggle. Resisting arrest is a crime.") and send him into a mental health lockdown facility (where a live camera feed just happens to be as Zack wails in frustration). Ryder could return several weeks later "rehabilitated into a new man with a love for life" and perhaps do a DDP-style motivational speaker gimmick in tandem with Dr. Shelby. Bonus permutation: If Jack Chick somehow ticks off WWE in the interim, then Ryder could hand out Chick-style tracts to the audience on his way to the ring and talk about how Dr. Shelby "saved" him with his prison ministry of "Shelby tracts" and now it is his turn to "save" the WWE Universe from their mutually assured hatred and destruction. But again, the focus after WrestleMania is for Ryder to develop his angst into a gimmick change to show WWE Creative something new. Your thoughts? Last edited by Curd; 03-18-2013 at 10:59 PM.