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-   -   500 things i hate about LITA (https://www.tpwwforums.com/showthread.php?t=29376)

KillerWolf 04-17-2005 02:38 AM

500 things i hate about LITA
 
1. her character. what a fake, fucking pretentious, phony little bitch. but seriously, her character has failed to evolve. the whole "team extreme" thing is LONG dead.

2. that fucking Anarchy symbol on her pants. for an 8th grader, it's cool. for a 30 year-old woman, it's ridiculous.

3. her pants. they're ugly. and usually flourecent green.

4. the way she wears her pants all low, with a thong sticking out. it looks ridiculous. and she has a flat ass.

5. she has a flat ass.

6. something i call 'the herpe effect'. despite obviously sucking in every way possible, she persists in taking up air time.

7. something i call 'the cancer effect'. she clings to talented wrestlers like a malignant tumor and destroys their carreers with her mere association, and moreover, shared air time and story lines. Matt Hardy succumed. Kane is fighting for his life. no wonder he looks like he is undergoing keemo-therapy.

8. before every move she does in the ring, be it a kick or a slap, she will whip her hair - because she's extreme.

9. you know the outcome of her matches before they begin. if she is going to win, she is all smilin' and happy. if she is going to lose, she is in a snit.

10. her fans. these people should be put out of their misery.

11. the botch factor. statistics show that 3/5 moves and 5/5 plot angles will be botched. however, it was pretty sweet a few weeks ago when she nearly broke her neck botching a suicide dive through the ropes.

12. the fact that Molly quit...or was fired or whatever, yet Lita remains. that really stings.

13. the fact that she will undoubtably, someday soon, become the women's champion.

well i wont bore you all with the other 487 things i hate about Lita just yet, but feel free to offer your own reasons. its so easy.

Innovator 04-17-2005 02:41 AM

14. She makes Gene Snitsky look like Jericho on the mic.

Londoner 04-17-2005 02:43 AM

Fuck i was hoping to read 500 things.

Impact! 04-17-2005 02:44 AM

it's not hard though coz gene can use the mic to it's fullest potential :shifty:

Gone Mad 04-17-2005 02:44 AM

340: She is with Edge. Edge sucks. He is a boring douche bag who makes small children cry. This automatically makes her crap. Oh, and I hate Edge. :)

Londoner 04-17-2005 02:46 AM

15: Everybody she has been involved with has been fired, watch out Kane. It's like if your partnered with Lita in a storyline,it's basically another way of nicking Goldberg's catchphrase and saying 'your next'.

DaveBrawl 04-17-2005 02:51 AM

99: Because she takes up tv time that could be given to Victoria.

Savio 04-17-2005 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonMad00
340: She is with Edge. Edge sucks. He is a boring douche bag who makes small children cry. This automatically makes her crap. Oh, and I hate Edge. :)

:rant:

KillerWolf 04-17-2005 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonMad00
340: She is with Edge. Edge sucks. He is a boring douche bag who makes small children cry. This automatically makes her crap. Oh, and I hate Edge. :)

dude, I used to hate Edge too, but RIGHT NOW, Edge is the hottest wrestler in wwe.

KayfabeMan 04-17-2005 03:39 AM

:lol:

Hired Hitman 04-17-2005 04:40 AM

Yeah, I'm starting to like edge.

LK 04-17-2005 07:23 AM

16) She has a job and Matt Hardy doesn't
17) She has a jbo and Rhyno doesn't
18) She has a job and Sean O'Haire doesn't
19) She has a job and Molly Holly doesn't
20) She has a job and and Chris Kanyon doesn't
21) She has a job.....I think you get the picture

I-Hate-You 04-17-2005 09:15 AM

22. http://www.jasonrivera.com/images/ar...9/litakiss.jpg

The night Matt Hardy was released.

LK 04-17-2005 09:19 AM

Doesn't it look like Kane is totally cringing

Hired Hitman 04-17-2005 09:53 AM

would you like it if you had to kiss another man?

:shifty:

I'm joking I'm joking... she looks alright.

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by legendkiller
Doesn't it look like Kane is totally cringing

I think he's trying to picture something a little less hideous...

like kissing this:

http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/28.jpg

Marcyo 04-17-2005 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I-Hate-You

Kane's boobs are bigger than Lita's.

Just thought i'd say that. :shifty:

Nark Order 04-17-2005 12:27 PM

23.) She botched giving me head.

M. Banana 04-17-2005 01:01 PM

24) Now deadlyheaven has no penis

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcyo
Kane's boobs are bigger than Lita's.

Just thought i'd say that. :shifty:

At leat better formed.

M. Banana 04-17-2005 02:53 PM

I wonder is Kane can do push ups on his.


Lita can do bounce ups... does that count?

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 04:27 PM

Yeah, they weren't filled with saline...Them tits was filled with RUBBER

Ruien 04-17-2005 04:38 PM

25) Was part of the Cristy angle.

M. Banana 04-17-2005 05:09 PM

26) Ruien can't spell Christy

Anybody Thrilla 04-17-2005 05:19 PM

How do you not like Edge? His theme music alone gets me jazzed.

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY, EVERYTHING HAS COME TO LIGHT
SOMETHING SOMETHING, BROKEN DREAM, FOR THE CHANCE TO FEEL, CHANCE TO FEEL ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

But yeah, Lita sucks.

Eunos 04-17-2005 05:23 PM

http://www.onlineonslaught.com/graphics/dvd20.jpg

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
How do you not like Edge? His theme music alone gets me jazzed.

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY, EVERYTHING HAS COME TO LIGHT
SOMETHING SOMETHING, BROKEN DREAM, FOR THE CHANCE TO FEEL, CHANCE TO FEEL ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

But yeah, Lita sucks.

ALTER BRIDGE IS FOR MORONS
EDGE IS FANCING LIKE A FOOL
SOMETHING SOMETHING
SHATTERED EARDRUMS
FIRED STAPP BUT FAILED TO TRADE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eunos

LOL

YOUR Hero 04-17-2005 06:34 PM

LOL yes, but there should be a line of guys behind her.

James Steele 04-17-2005 06:37 PM

:lol:

YOUR Hero 04-17-2005 06:39 PM

"All aboard the Lita train"

M. Banana 04-17-2005 06:51 PM

I'd ride that train.

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 06:51 PM

PIMPING AINT EASY

James Steele 04-17-2005 06:56 PM

*Ric Flair flashes the "peak" of "Space Mountain"*

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiguelBahena
I'd ride that train.

A paper bag, a little imagination, she'd be fuckable.

Ruien 04-17-2005 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
A paper bag, a little imagination, she'd be fuckable.

LOL

Anybody Thrilla 04-17-2005 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
ALTER BRIDGE IS FOR MORONS
EDGE IS FANCING LIKE A FOOL
SOMETHING SOMETHING
SHATTERED EARDRUMS
FIRED STAPP BUT FAILED TO TRADE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Nah dude, I don't think it goes like that.

M. Banana 04-17-2005 10:16 PM

I'd fucking fuck it.

Paperbag or not.

Gone Mad 04-17-2005 11:14 PM

Ok, since some are wondering why I hate Edge, I'll say it again. Over-rated and pushed to the moon, he has some talent and he is a funny guy but not to the point of considered one of the top guys. Years of constant, useless pushing just has me hating Edge, because there are so many more deserving than him to have the push he's getting. And now Edge is just so uninteresting, he is just ANGRY, and that's it. Even a suitcase couldn't make this kid more interesting like is trying to be done now. He needs a drastic change is all.

Edge: "UGH, no one likes me, i hate everything, ANGRY FACE! GRRR!"

gonMad: Ah, shut up!

Oh, and I'd bang Lita... wait, I already did, nevermind. Best. Autograph Session. Ever. ;)

M. Banana 04-17-2005 11:17 PM

gonMad, can I touch your penis?

Ruien 04-17-2005 11:18 PM

Whatever Number were on) MiguelBahena said he likes to let all his juice out looking at Lita Pics.

M. Banana 04-17-2005 11:22 PM

Next to whatever number we're on) I've done so about 32 times since I found out I could.

Kane Knight 04-17-2005 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonMad00
Edge: "UGH, no one likes me, i hate everything, ANGRY FACE! GRRR!"

And therein lies my dislike of Edge. He has all the intensidty of Keannu Reeves going "I know kung fu. rarrr. I am really angry. woah"

KillerWolf 04-18-2005 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
And therein lies my dislike of Edge. He has all the intensidty of Keannu Reeves going "I know kung fu. rarrr. I am really angry. woah"

but when you combine that with GREAT matches, is that not more than what we're getting from almost any other wrestler these days. lets look at this thing objectively, because believe me, i used to HATE Edge.
1. all of his matches recently have been great. IMO his matches recently have been better than Benoit's matches. the reason for this is because every Edge match seems like a fight. this is because he doesnt follow a specific move set, so every match is different. Now lets look at Benoit for instance. You know that certain things are going to happen. that is not to say that Benoit doesnt have great matches, but they are at times predictable.
2. He has a strong character. He's a heel and it shows. you know he is going to pull some shit EVERY week. he verbally attacks other wrestler's shortcomings and failures. i think that angry at the world for screwing him over is a better gimmick than 99% of 'em out there. at least it's something. If you were watching wrestling for the first time in a year, you would know that Chris Benoit is a face because he wears a stupid grin to the ring. if Benoit loses a match because Edge came down and interferred, he should be callin' Edge out the next week, or going on a rampage backstage looking for Edge-not just taking it lying down. Then you got guys like Booker T that have been just going through the motions for years. Maybe Edge is the only wrestler being used properly right now, but seeing Booker T and Chris Jericho mis-used doesnt make me want to watch wrestling just so i'll have something to bitch about.

Fignuts 04-18-2005 03:48 PM

I don't really dislike Lita all that much. I used to hate edge, but lately the quality of his matches have been great. Although, I agree with KK that his character could use a little fine tuning.

Kane Knight 04-18-2005 03:53 PM

I've grown less fond of Edge over the years. He was great in E&C, great as heel tag teamer, and now it's like "so what?"

Kane Knight 04-18-2005 03:53 PM

And in ring? I see his spear and actually think Goldberg could do it better. :p

PSIcological 04-18-2005 04:03 PM

next number) When she debuted, she knew no english. Within weeks she was fluent.

KillerWolf 04-18-2005 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSIcological
next number) When she debuted, she knew no english. Within weeks she was fluent.

yeah-she botched being latina

KillerWolf 04-18-2005 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
And in ring? I see his spear and actually think Goldberg could do it better. :p

well as far as the spear goes, Goldberg DOES do it better.

Kane Knight 04-18-2005 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shock&awe
well as far as the spear goes, Goldberg DOES do it better.

That's what I meant. I just kinda spaced out when posting.

Kane Knight 04-18-2005 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shock&awe
yeah-she botched being latina

She botched being a foreigner.

SuperSlim 04-18-2005 04:20 PM

Lita doesn't know how not to botch anything :(

Kane Knight 04-18-2005 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperSlim
Lita doesn't know how not to botch anything :(

I tried to be Lita, but I botched. I don't know if I succeeded or failed.

Corkscrewed 04-18-2005 04:35 PM

:lol:

It's like a big paradox or something.

M. Banana 04-18-2005 05:36 PM

If you try to fail, and suceed. What have you done?

Kane Knight 04-18-2005 08:04 PM

Imitated Lita.

M. Banana 04-18-2005 09:40 PM

Nice.

M. Banana 04-18-2005 09:40 PM

Balance Rep for you.

Marcyo 04-18-2005 09:43 PM

i got one from Miguel yesterday.

Marcyo 04-18-2005 09:43 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

KillerWolf 04-19-2005 03:12 AM

SPOILER

so this TWO FUCKING WEEKS of Kane doing NOTHING but chasing Trish around at the behest of Lita shall pay off with a KANE/VISCERA FUED! :rant:

fuck me. i am NOT looking forward to this. :n: :n:

Just John 04-19-2005 03:26 PM

she fucked up MiguelBahenas PC :shifty:


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