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Old 04-17-2005, 02:38 AM   #1
KillerWolf
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500 things i hate about LITA

1. her character. what a fake, fucking pretentious, phony little bitch. but seriously, her character has failed to evolve. the whole "team extreme" thing is LONG dead.

2. that fucking Anarchy symbol on her pants. for an 8th grader, it's cool. for a 30 year-old woman, it's ridiculous.

3. her pants. they're ugly. and usually flourecent green.

4. the way she wears her pants all low, with a thong sticking out. it looks ridiculous. and she has a flat ass.

5. she has a flat ass.

6. something i call 'the herpe effect'. despite obviously sucking in every way possible, she persists in taking up air time.

7. something i call 'the cancer effect'. she clings to talented wrestlers like a malignant tumor and destroys their carreers with her mere association, and moreover, shared air time and story lines. Matt Hardy succumed. Kane is fighting for his life. no wonder he looks like he is undergoing keemo-therapy.

8. before every move she does in the ring, be it a kick or a slap, she will whip her hair - because she's extreme.

9. you know the outcome of her matches before they begin. if she is going to win, she is all smilin' and happy. if she is going to lose, she is in a snit.

10. her fans. these people should be put out of their misery.

11. the botch factor. statistics show that 3/5 moves and 5/5 plot angles will be botched. however, it was pretty sweet a few weeks ago when she nearly broke her neck botching a suicide dive through the ropes.

12. the fact that Molly quit...or was fired or whatever, yet Lita remains. that really stings.

13. the fact that she will undoubtably, someday soon, become the women's champion.

well i wont bore you all with the other 487 things i hate about Lita just yet, but feel free to offer your own reasons. its so easy.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:41 AM   #2
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14. She makes Gene Snitsky look like Jericho on the mic.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:43 AM   #3
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Fuck i was hoping to read 500 things.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:44 AM   #4
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it's not hard though coz gene can use the mic to it's fullest potential
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:44 AM   #5
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340: She is with Edge. Edge sucks. He is a boring douche bag who makes small children cry. This automatically makes her crap. Oh, and I hate Edge.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:46 AM   #6
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15: Everybody she has been involved with has been fired, watch out Kane. It's like if your partnered with Lita in a storyline,it's basically another way of nicking Goldberg's catchphrase and saying 'your next'.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:51 AM   #7
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99: Because she takes up tv time that could be given to Victoria.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:51 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gonMad00
340: She is with Edge. Edge sucks. He is a boring douche bag who makes small children cry. This automatically makes her crap. Oh, and I hate Edge.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:58 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gonMad00
340: She is with Edge. Edge sucks. He is a boring douche bag who makes small children cry. This automatically makes her crap. Oh, and I hate Edge.
dude, I used to hate Edge too, but RIGHT NOW, Edge is the hottest wrestler in wwe.
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Old 04-17-2005, 03:39 AM   #10
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Old 04-17-2005, 04:40 AM   #11
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Yeah, I'm starting to like edge.
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Old 04-17-2005, 07:23 AM   #12
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16) She has a job and Matt Hardy doesn't
17) She has a jbo and Rhyno doesn't
18) She has a job and Sean O'Haire doesn't
19) She has a job and Molly Holly doesn't
20) She has a job and and Chris Kanyon doesn't
21) She has a job.....I think you get the picture
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Old 04-17-2005, 09:15 AM   #13
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22.

The night Matt Hardy was released.
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Old 04-17-2005, 09:19 AM   #14
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Doesn't it look like Kane is totally cringing
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Old 04-17-2005, 09:53 AM   #15
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would you like it if you had to kiss another man?



I'm joking I'm joking... she looks alright.
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Old 04-17-2005, 10:40 AM   #16
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by legendkiller
Doesn't it look like Kane is totally cringing
I think he's trying to picture something a little less hideous...

like kissing this:

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Old 04-17-2005, 12:24 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I-Hate-You
22.
Kane's boobs are bigger than Lita's.

Just thought i'd say that.
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Old 04-17-2005, 12:27 PM   #18
Nark Order
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23.) She botched giving me head.
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Old 04-17-2005, 01:01 PM   #19
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24) Now deadlyheaven has no penis
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Old 04-17-2005, 01:16 PM   #20
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcyo
Kane's boobs are bigger than Lita's.

Just thought i'd say that.
At leat better formed.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:53 PM   #21
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I wonder is Kane can do push ups on his.


Lita can do bounce ups... does that count?
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Old 04-17-2005, 04:27 PM   #22
Kane Knight
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Yeah, they weren't filled with saline...Them tits was filled with RUBBER
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Old 04-17-2005, 04:38 PM   #23
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25) Was part of the Cristy angle.
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Old 04-17-2005, 05:09 PM   #24
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26) Ruien can't spell Christy
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Old 04-17-2005, 05:19 PM   #25
Anybody Thrilla
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How do you not like Edge? His theme music alone gets me jazzed.

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY, EVERYTHING HAS COME TO LIGHT
SOMETHING SOMETHING, BROKEN DREAM, FOR THE CHANCE TO FEEL, CHANCE TO FEEL ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

But yeah, Lita sucks.
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Old 04-17-2005, 05:23 PM   #26
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:04 PM   #27
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
How do you not like Edge? His theme music alone gets me jazzed.

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY, EVERYTHING HAS COME TO LIGHT
SOMETHING SOMETHING, BROKEN DREAM, FOR THE CHANCE TO FEEL, CHANCE TO FEEL ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

But yeah, Lita sucks.
ALTER BRIDGE IS FOR MORONS
EDGE IS FANCING LIKE A FOOL
SOMETHING SOMETHING
SHATTERED EARDRUMS
FIRED STAPP BUT FAILED TO TRADE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:29 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eunos
LOL
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:34 PM   #29
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LOL yes, but there should be a line of guys behind her.
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:37 PM   #30
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:39 PM   #31
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"All aboard the Lita train"
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:51 PM   #32
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I'd ride that train.
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:51 PM   #33
Kane Knight
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PIMPING AINT EASY
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:56 PM   #34
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*Ric Flair flashes the "peak" of "Space Mountain"*
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Old 04-17-2005, 06:58 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiguelBahena
I'd ride that train.
A paper bag, a little imagination, she'd be fuckable.
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Old 04-17-2005, 07:20 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
A paper bag, a little imagination, she'd be fuckable.
LOL
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Old 04-17-2005, 10:07 PM   #37
Anybody Thrilla
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
ALTER BRIDGE IS FOR MORONS
EDGE IS FANCING LIKE A FOOL
SOMETHING SOMETHING
SHATTERED EARDRUMS
FIRED STAPP BUT FAILED TO TRADE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP
Nah dude, I don't think it goes like that.
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Old 04-17-2005, 10:16 PM   #38
M. Banana
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I'd fucking fuck it.

Paperbag or not.
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Old 04-17-2005, 11:14 PM   #39
Gone Mad
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Ok, since some are wondering why I hate Edge, I'll say it again. Over-rated and pushed to the moon, he has some talent and he is a funny guy but not to the point of considered one of the top guys. Years of constant, useless pushing just has me hating Edge, because there are so many more deserving than him to have the push he's getting. And now Edge is just so uninteresting, he is just ANGRY, and that's it. Even a suitcase couldn't make this kid more interesting like is trying to be done now. He needs a drastic change is all.

Edge: "UGH, no one likes me, i hate everything, ANGRY FACE! GRRR!"

gonMad: Ah, shut up!

Oh, and I'd bang Lita... wait, I already did, nevermind. Best. Autograph Session. Ever.
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Old 04-17-2005, 11:17 PM   #40
M. Banana
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gonMad, can I touch your penis?
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