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Wrestling parents in kayfabe mode
So I was just discussing this with TerranRich. Can you imagine some of these wrestlers taking their gimmicks home with them? Like..say..Batista's kids come home with a bad report card and he's just like "don't do that."
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or if cena had kids, and one walked in during him cheating on his wife.
Cena: *waving his hand in front of his face* You can't see Daddy! |
Hah, that's good.
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I'd hate to have Kane as my dad.
Mother: " Youd better not let your father hear you talking like that to me!!! " Son: " He won't be home for another couple of hours anyways " **Pyros burst around the house, music hits** |
Carito: "Hey, go to bed now!"
Kid: "Or what? You'll spit in our face for not being cool? Puh-leeez Dad!" |
This topic has so much potential. Let's hope it keeps going.
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You..you can't talk to Carlito like that! <satan voice> thas not cool! |
Undertaker: "Rest...in....peeeeeaaaace..."
Son: "Okay, good night Dad!" |
Hulk: "BROTHER BROTHER BROOOTTTHHHEEEERRRRR"
Horace: "No, Terry, I'm your cousin. What's going on?" Hulk: "YOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!" Horace: "Yes...me..." :wtf: |
Eric Bischoff: "Alright kids, 3 minutes until your bed time...
... .... DID I JUST HEAR MYSELF SAY...3 MINUTES?!" |
Val Venis taking his daughter to girl scouts..
Helloooooo Ladiesss |
Chavo (Kerwin) taking his kids to a Family Reunion:
Kid: Daddy, which one is grandpa? Kerwin: *pulls out photo of Colonel Sanders* this one. |
Mother: "Zack, whats all that racket?!?! Stop running up and down the stairs!!"
Zack Gowan: " Uh...Mom......." |
Scene 1
Wife: " Honey, i'm putting my diaphram in.. are you ready??" Eddie pretends to be asleep. Scene 2 Son: " Dad, are you ready to drive me to the park??" Eddie pretends to be asleep. Scene 3 Police Officer: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" Eddie pretends to be asleep. |
Car dealer: Alright Jim, we got you all set for a real nice car here. If you could just sign...
Warrior: I DON'T WANT JUST A NICE CAR! I WANT ANN UULLLLTTTIIMMMAAATTEE CAAAARRR!! Car Dealer: Well...ok. Where do you think you'll be driving mostly? Warrior: I'LL DRIVE PAST THE STREETLAMPS OF MY ETERNAL FIERY DESTINY AND THROUGH THE GATES OF THE HEAVENLY FORTRESS OF FATE. ONLY THEN WILL I BE CLOSER TO....PARTS UNKNOWN!!!! |
Son: Hey dad, wanna play catch?
Nash: Sure so- GAH MY QUAD! Son: AGAIN!? |
Gold!
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You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to deadlyheaven again.
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Son: SHUT UP, DAD, JUST SHUT UP!
Matt Hardy: I'LL SHOW YOU! Son: Uh oh... :roll: (Five minutes later...) Dear MySpace, My son hates me. I don't think I can continue living. He's acting like a feces. |
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Driving home from RAW, Lita pulls into the driveway
*CRASH* Neighbors: Damnit, she botched opening the garage door again... |
LOL
And where is that Batista smiley Jabba made? |
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Kid: Look dad! I got on the honor roll this month!
JR: Bah gosh, that roll isn't made of bread, I tell ya that! |
Brian: "Daaaaaaad! I want to buy a dog!!!"
King: "What! You know what'll happen if you let it loose..." Brian: "Whhhaaaaaaat..." King: "PUPPIES!!!" |
Jeff Hardy's wife/gf: "Jeff, can you set the table, dear?"
Jefff: [stands on counter, points to head with two fingers, and flips backward onto table] Wife/GF: :roll: |
Wife: Son! Look at this report card! ALL Fs! You know what to do!
Son: okay mom.. *kid stands next to table propped up in the corner of the room*... Wife: Now turn around... Son: MOM NO! Wife: TURN AROUND! *son turns around* Son: DAD NO! GORE GORE GORE |
Masters: Catch son!
*The football hits his son in the nose.* Son: OH GOD MY NOSE! OH MY GOD YOU BROKE IT! YOU BIG FAT GREEN HOSS! Masters: But... (Master's wife comes out.) Wife: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!? Masters: I just... Wife: OH SHUT UP YOU BIG STUPID GREEN HOSS! Come on Jimmy, we need to go to the emergency room... |
Kid: Hey dad..what time is it?
Triple H: IT'S MY TIME!! IT'S MY TIME! TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! |
Kid 1: "I'm hungry!"
Kid 2: "Yeah, me too. Are you getting food, dad?" Kid 1: "Yeah, pleeeaaaase!?" Al Snow: "WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT...!!" |
Kid: Anyway, my homework is due soo...
Hardcore Holly (interupting): Due soon? You haven't paid your dues yet... :mad: |
Kid 1: "Dad, flushing the toilet while I was in the shower was not cool!"
Kid 2: "Yeah! And putting a bug in my cereal freaked me out!" Holly: "Sorry guys, it won't happen again... :shifty: " |
Kid: "Dad, I—"
ALLLALLLEEYYAAAALLLEEEYYYAALALELEEELEYYYAAALLEEYEYAALEAAAAA..." Kid: "DAMN YOU, DAD!" |
Kid: OK, I was wrong, I promise not to do it again.
Raven: Quote the Raven, nevermore. |
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Kid: "Dad, I need help on my homework. Who was the 35th president of the United States?"
Kennedy: "MISTEEERRRRRRRRRR...KENNEDY!!!" Kid: "Wait, I need to write this down...what was his name again?" Kennedy: "KEENNNNEEEEDDDEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH...." |
Wife: Gene, you forgot to take out the trash! AGAIN!
Snitsky: It wasn't..my fault. |
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Kid: "Dad, what's wrong? Oh no...not the..."
Edge: "ANGRYFACEAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" Kid: :'( |
Wife: Honey..let's make love.
-25.5 seconds later- Benoit: 4REALLLLL! |
Kid: Hey! That's cheating, put the hotel back where it was!
Flair: Dirtiest player in the game! Mrs Flair: Come on now... Flair: WOOOOO! All but Flair: Not again... |
Cop at pulled over car:
Cop: Why on earth were you driving that fast? Christian: -slaps chest- cuz that's how I roll! |
Wow, this is turning into an everyday life thread. Damnit I suck at life.
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Son: Hey dad, we're best buds.
Edge: Yeah I'd say so son. Son: Anyway this is my new girlfriend Girlfriend: Hi! Son: Hold on I left something in the car *son leaves* Edge: :naughty: |
Stephanie: "Daddy, how likely is it that I can date a wrestler?"
Vince: "NO CHANCE IN HEEEELLLLLLLLLL..." Shane: "Hey Dad, can I wrestle and do insane spots that'll make Jeff Hardy look like Bob Orton?" Vince: "Sure." |
wtf
As soon as I read that one, I got spam from WWE. How in the hell am I getting spam from WWE?! |
(X Pac's son is going through X Pac's video shelf...)
Son: Hmmm... Oh, here's something about China! Just what I need for my report! (The son goes over to the VCR and turns it on...) (Ten minutes later, X Pac walks in.) X Pac: Hey guy, whatcha up... Oh no... (The son is twitching looking at the screen.) X Pac: SON! SPEAK TO ME! OH MY GOD! YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO SEE THAT! OH MY GOD! Son: .................... YOU ARE ONE SICK FUCK! |
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Edge: Sure, you totally rock. Son: Cool, I feel like I know you better than I know myself. Edge: YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!!!!?! |
Kid: DAD!! THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!!
Edge: Get over it! |
:rofl:
Jaton and Terran have become like a great tag team or something. I can't rep you guys enough for that comedic gold. :lol: Hell, great job to everyone, really. :y: :y: |
Mrs. Saturn: Honey, can you mop the floor?
Perry Saturn: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: |
Booker T: Did you finish your homework?
Son: Yeah dad. Booker T: Did you check it? Son: I double checked it. Booker T: How many times do I have to tell you, sucka. You gotta check that thing FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! FIVE TIMES!! |
Oh, and here's the obvious one...
Son: Hey dad, I need to do some research for my history report. Can I use the internet? Brock: INTERNET??? KILLLLLL!!!!!!! |
The Rock: Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?
His Wife: Smells like burnt chicken. The Rock: Ah crap, I forgot to check the oven. |
Son: Good night, dad.
Boogieman: No, it WON'T be a good night, because I'm... the BOOGIE man... and I'm gonna get you!!! |
Kid: "Um, Dad...I crashed the car..."
Booker: "Tell me...you didn't just say that..." Kid: "I did. Sorry, Dad." Booker: "It's okay, to make up for it, you can do some chores. I need some weeding done in the garden." Kid: "Okay, what should I do to the weeds?" Booker: "CAN YOU DIG THAT, SUCKAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Kid: "Sure! Thanks for being so understanding, Dad! Oh! Also, I don't want to play little league anymore. I hate the other guys on the team..." Booker: "Don't hate the Playas, hate the Game!" HHH: :wtf: |
Why is Triple H going :wtf: in that one?
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Son: Dad, can I get a Game Boy?
Triple H: But you ARE the Game Boy. Son: No, a Game Boy... To play games... Triple H: Son, LeVesques don't play games, they ARE the games. Son: ... *Sigh*... MOM... Stephanie: Yes, 'Hunt? Son: Mom, can I have a Game Boy for Christmas? Stephanie: No problem! (Christmas comes around...) Son: OH! I BET I KNOW WHAT THIS IS! Stephanie: I bet you do. :) (Little Hunter opens it and stares at it.) Stephanie: Well? Son: I wanted a Game Boy, not an action figure of dad! |
I'm kinda suprised no ones done this one yet.
Son: Hey Dad, I got my report ca- Austin: What? Son: I said I got my report car- Austin: What? Son: My repor- Austin: WHAT? Son: Look, Dad, can't we just- Austin: What? What? What? What? What? **Snatches report card and looks at it** JR from the Kitchen: "Bah Gawd STUNNER!!!" |
*Eddie and his kid are playing a racing game on the playstation*
*Realising that he isn't going to win, Eddie smacks the controller out of his kid's hand and wins* Kid: Hey!!! Eddie: Orale vato, I lie, I cheat, I steal!!! |
*kid runs home excited*
Kid: Mom I scored 5 touchdowns in my game the coach says I'm a school legend *Kid gets RKO and Randy Orton poses over his body* Randy Orton : Another legend killed.....uhhh son you still alive? |
RVD: Honey, this zit's in an awkward place and I can't pop it. Can you do it for me?
Wife: Sure. Where is it? RVD: Right there. *Points with thumbs* Meh, I suck. |
*Kids are bullying some other kid*
Batista: I HATE BULLIES! RAAAAH! Kids: . . . :rofl: Batista: :'( snitsky outta nowhere: It wasnt his fault! |
:y::D:y:
.. ... ... :n::mad::n: GAH!!!:rant::rant::rant::rant: |
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Eddie: Awww... lemme tell you a bedtime story! |
*enter scene with Brooke Hogan and Date Jim at the front door*
Brooke: i had a gret time tonight, I hope we can do this again some time Jim: me too, I had fun as well *both lean in to kiss, when the door burst open to Hulk standing there in ring attire* Hulk: *points to Jim* YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *finger wag of doom, big boot, leg drop* |
That's not as funny because Hogan actually does try to live his gimmick in real life.
What is it about Warrior, Savage, and Hogan...it's like if you were a big star in the 80's... |
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Jake Jr.: G'night dad.
Jake the Snake Roberts: G'nite son. :) :naughty: *flips off the switch, then reaches into a bag* NEXT MORNING Jake Jr.: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY ABOUT PUTTING SNAKES IN MY BED?????? |
Eugene: YAAAAYYY! SEX! YAAAAYYYYY!
Wife: *Sigh* Eugene: OH! OH! SHAAAZAAAMMM! |
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lol, yeah Terran rules
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Kid: Dad, Can I go to the park?
Macho Man: Oh Yeah!!! |
GOD DAMMIT AUSSIE_SKIER INSTEAD OF DOIN ALL THIS MAYBE YOU COULD GO PROMO. :mad:
:kiss: :shifty: |
Son: I hate you, dad!
Heidenreich: I don't know why my own son doesn't want to be my friend. :( Son: OH SHUT- *BOOM* And here's a visual... http://heidenboom.ytmnd.com/ |
Kid: If you two are a gay couple where am I from?
Justin: Well you don't need to worry about that, because your not just the coolest. Your not just the best. Your... Lance Storm: *sigh* from Calgery Alberta Canada Justin: and your Just Incredible. Kid:......... |
Kid: "Hey dad, I need new shoes, my heels are starting to hurt"
Ric Flair: 'HEY, DON'T EVER USE OUR TERMINOLGY, THATS OUR TERMINOLGY, THATS WRESTLING TALK, DON'T EVER USE IT AGAIN!!!" Kid: Geeze, I'm sorry dad. I didn't mean to. Come on, turn that frown upside down dad and put on a happy face. Ric Flair: "WHY YOU...YOU JUST MAKE ME SO ANGRY, I JUST...I JUST WANNA...I JUST WANNA.....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kid: "oookay then. look, I'm going to my friend Mark's house." Ric Flair: "WHO DO YOU HTINK YOU ARE USING WRESTLER'S TERMIONOLGY. YOU'RE A FAN, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! WHO THE HELL DO YOU ARE TALKING LIKE THAT!" Kid: "Calm down dad, you'll pop a vein!" Ric Flair: :mad: :mad: :mad: Kid: "Dad, you're face is getting all red, is it the heat in this room?" (Flair has enough and snaps on the figure four leg lock) Ric Flair: "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You're nothing, not like me. A highflying, kiss-stealing son of a gun!" |
*Wife at dinner table*
Wife: Honey, the foods ready, you coming? John Cena: THA CHAMP IS HURRRRRRRRRRR |
Doctor: And you're sure you want to go through with this?
Billy Gunn: Yes, coz I'm an Assman. :shifty: |
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Kurt Angle- Cmon Son get up its time to go to school
Son- Im sick. Ive got a cold. Kurt Angle - I won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck. And to say that you cant go to school with a friggen head cold is an insult to everything I stand for. |
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:wtf:
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Kid: "Where's Dad? Dad??? Oh...hey there's a message on the fridge. Let's see what it says... um... 'The Honky Tonk Dad has left the house! Thank you, you're a great audience.'. What the fuck?"
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Fat Kid: dad I want some pizza for dinner
Simon Dean:You sicken me you fat fuck *Kid cries* Simon:Here son drink this delicious Simon Shake and you'll be fit in no time |
Black Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
(The kid runs to Brock Lesnar and hugs him...) Brock: Umm... Bobby Lashley: Oh, son, I'm over here! Kid: Oh, sorry mister. Brock: :wtf: Bobby: Sorry, he's color blind... Brock: Oh... |
Black Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
(The kid runs to Bobby Lashley and hugs him...) Bobby: Umm... Monty Brown: Oh, son, I'm over here! Kid: Oh, sorry mister. Bobby: :wtf: Monty Brown: POUNCE!!!! Bobby: :wtf: |
Wife: Come on, let's go!
*five minutes pass after waiting in the car.* Wife bursts through the door Wife: God dammit Jeff! |
D-Von's wife: D-VON!!!
D-Von: Yes, dear? Wife: SET THE TABLE!!!!!! D-Von: OOOOHHH, TESTIFY!!! |
Vince: Didn't I tell you two to go to bed!! HUH!!!! WHY WON'T YOU DO AS I SAY!!! I'M VINCE McMAHON DAMMIT!!!!!
Steph: Yeah, and I'm Stephanie McMahon! Shane: And I'm Shane McMahon! Steph: Yeah, dammit! :p Vince: ... Steph: ... Shane: ... [quietly] Oh shit, now you got him pissed... Vince: :mad: |
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Jeff Hardy.
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Ok then...good boy...
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Accountant- So Mr.Copeland your son has to pay back his car loan by march next year will he be able to do that??
Edge- BANK ON IT Son-Sigh |
Son: Yeah, my dad is so cool..
Random kid: Nah, he isn't... Son: Oh yeah? Hey dad! Christian: Yeah? Son: Where are we going for my birthday? Christian: The Peep Show, of course! Son: See? Kid: ... I envy you. Son: Of course you do... Because... Christian and Son: That's how we roll! *Pounds chest* |
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