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Inspired by Chuck Norris......
Let's do some wrestling-related Chuck Norris stuff...
IE: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. Triple H doesn't job, jobbing jobs to Triple H. Lita doesn't get STDs, STDs get Litas. Can't think of anymore right now but post your own. (Yeah, I'm bored.) |
Matt Hardy won't die, he lives on in missery.
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In an attempt to end World War II, the United States government authorized the drop of Samoa Joe onto Hiroshima. However, the Japanese hired a mercenary, known today as Low Ki, to meet him. The ensuing fight leveled the city, killing thousands.
However, the match was so well received (Meltzer gave it ****1/2) that a rematch was immediately booked in Nagasaki. Stolen from Innovators sig. |
cena doesnt suck.....o wait, yea he does
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Cena doesn't suck, he blows.
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When Kurt Angle dives into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Angle'd.
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When Viscera sits around the house, he REALLY sits AROUND the house. :shifty:
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Eugene isn't retarded, he's addicted.
That's so horrible... |
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Ric Flair isn't old, he's rubber!
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Shelton's mamma is so fat when she backs up she's goes BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
:shifty: |
Shelton's Momma is so fat that she died.
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Samoa Joe brushes his teeth with rope and washes his face with the tears of baby orphans
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"I love lamp"
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Stickman, do you really love lamp or are you just saying that because you see the lamp?
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LOUD NOISES!!!
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Kevin Nash doesn't tear his quads, quads tear themselves in Kevin Nash's presence.
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Chris Sabin Doesnt do jobs he simply lets people win to make them feel good about themselves
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Jeff Hardy isnt a spot fest, spot fests are a jeff hardy
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Ric Flair doesn't blade, he turns a faucet.
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Hulkamania was created in a lab from one of Samoa Joe's old jockstraps.
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The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Samoa Joe and forgot to pay him back.
Samoa Joe always eats his vegetables. Even the wheelchairs. Samoa Joe is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Samoa Joe single handedly disemboweld the grinch for being a sack of s**t and failing to steal christmas. Samoa Joe is the only man who made it through The Crying Game without feeling dirty. On the Saving Private Ryan DVD, there's a deleted scene where Samoa Joe gets shot in the hand. Samoa Joe then proceeds to yell, "f**k you bullet" and the bullet worms its way out of Samoe Joe's hand out of fear. An alternate ending also shows Samoa Joe winning WWII and becoming president of the world. Samoa Joe downs each meal with a cupful of Tide detergent. It comes out clean and he never has to wipe because of it. MacGayver created Samoa Joe out of a dead squirrel, a piece of string, some tic-tacs, and hellfire. Samoa Joe has never kneeled before Zod. Samoa Joe is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Samoa Joe can actually OLE kick you yesterday. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Samoa Joe. He doesn't have to. Samoa Joe lost his virginity before his dad did. When Samoa Joe was driving he saw a sign that said, "Caution: Small Children Playing." So he slowed down, but then it occurred to him: Samoa Joe isn't afraid of small children. Samoa Joe frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. |
Chris Sabin Invented the C-Section when he enziguried his mothers womb
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The Boogeyman is the reason why Waldo is hiding because he's coming to getcha. |
Kurt Angle's neck isn't really broken; he is actually a human Pez dispenser. Only instead of Pez, he dispenses pain.
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The Undertaker isn't dead, he just forgot to breath today.
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Chris Sabin need not breathe breathing needs to Chris Sabin
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Vince can make a woman climax by pointing at her and saying "RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL!!! HA HA HA HA!!! YOU'RE SCREWED!!!!"
There are no such things as black holes. It's just X-Pac in space. |
Sting's hair isn't receiding... He expanded his forehead.
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Chris Sabin didnt have his hair done it did it self
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Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chris Sabin to die before they attack.
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The force and volume of the typical Chris Sabin ejaculation has been observed to pierce the female uterus, kevlar body armor and Brawny paper towels.
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Chris Benoit's notorious buck-tooth is actually a bottle opener, and only one of many useful appliances hidden on his person. This is because Benoit is a result of Canada's mad attempt at genetically splicing a human with a Swiss Army Knife.
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Cactus Jack doesn't feel pain.
Pain feels Cactus Jack. |
It wasn't Snitsky's fault Lita had a dead baby in her uterus. The baby killed itself because it knew where it's been.
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In 5th grade, a friend once asked The Undertaker to help sell stuff as part of the school fundraiser. This has commonly been recorded as the biggest mistake anyone has ever made in the history of anywhere.
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HHH has won infinity matches.
Twice. |
Edge his currently suing The Rock over the legal rights to the term "jabroni," as that is what he likes to call his personal male prostitute, Matt Hardy.
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When Lita bathes in the Ganges River, the Ganges feels dirty.
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Lita doesn't botch anything.
Bothcing Lita's stuff. |
Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwartzeneggar, Steven Segal, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Wesley Snipes were all created when a drop of sweat from Hulk Hogan fell into a biological pond and created a race of supermen who were impervious to pain, although not even a combined 1/1,000,000th as impervious to pain as Hulk Hogan.
(thanks DM) |
You forgot Jean Claude Van Damme
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Guess I spelled it right then. :shifty:
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Rob Van Dam doesn't get the munchies, the munchies come to him.
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Lita isn't a slut, a slut is a Lita.(Lita is such an easy target, I ALMOST feel sorry for her)
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I don't feel for Lita, Lita feels for me!
Wait, what? |
Shelton's momma isn't fat, she's just big boned.
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Kane eats a bowl of lava rocks for breakfast to feul his Hellfire 'n Brimstone.
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John Cena isn't a rapper, he just plays one on TV.
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Randy Orton doesn't kill legends legends commit suicide in front of him.
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The Big Show once cleaned out an entire Burger King. People, napkins, straws.... EVERYTHING.
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Kurt Angle impregnated an entire convent of nuns back in 1971. One year later they all gave birth to the group known as the '72 Dolphins.
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When Obi-Wan Kenobi sliced Darth Maul in half and he fell down a large shaft, he landed in a pile of worms which became a part of his being, changing him into The Boogeyman. He has to eat at least two scoops of worms a day or his body will come apart again.
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Mr. T may pity the fool, but Chris Benoit pities Mr. T
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Chris Benoit is faster than a speeding bullet spit out by Superman through a straw.
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If Val Venis was clothing, he would be Trish Stratus' thong.
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Death is afraid of no man. Except Tim White....
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TNA is an anagram of ANT
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Chris Sabin Doesnt hail taxi's Taxi's HAIL SABIN
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Angle didn't win an olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck, the broken freakin neck won a gold medal for Angle.
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An old lady asked Josh Matthews if he could help her carry her bags. He ran off to get some.
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Tim White doesn't die, death Tim White'd
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Josh Matthews doesn't help, he waits. Then calls for help.
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Josh Matthews needs help.
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If Kurt Angle was Chuck Norris, he'd beat himself up with his own little toe.
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Goldust doesn't watch porn. Porn watches Goldust.
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Sean O'Haire won't tell you anything that you don't already know.
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In the movie "The Passion Of the Christ" The Undertaker was set up to play the role of Jesus Christ. He would have gotten the spot but he refused to flinch during the whipping scenes.
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The writers don't avoid logic. Logic avoids the writers.
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Eugene is the life story of five of the writers.
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Stephanie McMahon doesn't have fake tits, she just stuffs her bra.
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Viscera did'nt fuck Lillian Garcia, I did.
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Elvis didn't do no drugs!
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If Kurt Angle was gay his name would be Chuck Norris
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Kronik doesn't suck. Suck Kroniks.
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Trish did'nt get fake tits to make them look better, she got them to break her fall in the ring.
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Jim Ross created "god" the moment he said "BAH GAWD" for the first time.
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Chris Sabin Hasnt held all of the titles in TNA because They're slobbering over AJ's dick...Oh Wait
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Vince's genetic jackhammer has'nt been used in so long it needs a good dose of WD 40.
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A-Train won his hair in a "hair VS hair" match when he fought a rabid wolf when he was five years old. He keeps it on his chest and back as a trophy.
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It's not "Time To Play The Game", because I'm all out of quarters.
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I think some people dont really get the meaning of this thread
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Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Viscera ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Viscera won.
Yeah, it's stolen, but still hilarious. |
According to Vince, the saying isn't 'If it ain't broken, don't fix it'..it's.... 'if it's fixed, then brake it'.
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Gilberg has counted to infinity--Twice.
Gilberg's hair isn't receeding, his hair fears being seen by him. Gilberg invented the C-Section when he jobbed to his mom's uterus. |
If you cut Hulk Hogan, he bleeds pure HGH
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Oranges were derived from three different things. Lemons for the citrus, Hulk Hogan for the orange, and Triple H for that sting that happens if it goes into your eye.
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If Rikishi's ass was any bigger, it would have it's own zip code.
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During a trip to New York RVD made a 1,000 dollar bet with Superman. The deal was that he can break the earth's pull before Superman can. After RVD won the bet he went out and bought some killer weed because nobody gets higher than Rob Van Dam.
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Brock Lesnar once F-5'ed a kid from New York all the way to Ohio--all through his computer!
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Chris Sabin Eats thunder and craps lightning
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Tatanka speared Goldberg with a spear before Goldberg could spear Tatanka.
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Tim White isn't trying to kill himself. He's just calling death a pussy.
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