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Kurt Angle can beat anyone in MMA
Oh and he's seen Trish Stratus naked, too.
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Angle: RRAARR UFC ME WIN! ME KILL QUEERS IN UFC! ME HEADBUTT! GRRR!
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Kurt would get killed by any legit name in MMA.
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I can't wait to see this happen just so Angle will shut the hell up about MMA after he gets his ass handed to him. Stick to wrestling, Kurt.
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Cro Cop would kick his head off his shoulders
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Kurt Angle has counted to Infinity...twice.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Kurt Angle pajamas.
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The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Kurt Angle instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Angle suplexed Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
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Kurt Angle can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass...at night.
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Kurt Angle can win a game of connect four in 3 moves.
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Kurt Angle doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Kurt Angle beats all 3 at the same time.
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Kurt Angle drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
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Kurt Angle can get blackjack with just one card.
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Kurt Angle".
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P.S. I just ripped off all those facts from ChuckNorrisFacts.com
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lol people should start doing those jokes about Angle. It could catch on.
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Actually, this is the best use of the Norris Worship ever.
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LOL
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The One just became my favorite poster.
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For now....
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Kurt invented TPWW but just let Triple A have it.
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The terrorists don't win, Kurt Angle wins.
I made that up myself... |
Moses parted the Red Sea. Kurt Angle parted the Milky Way.
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Who is the strongest human being alive?
I don't know, but Kurt Angle could kick his ass. |
We don't need God, we have Kurt Angle.
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When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Kurt Angle.
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World of warcraft?More like, World of Kurt Angle!
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MMANGLE
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So Angle was being interviewed by a midget?
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Eric the midget. From Howard Stern show.
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Special weight class? How the hell are they gonna pull that off?
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Kurt Angle is so awesome that Mr. Clean wanted to be Kurt Angle
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Kurt Angle said in another interview that he not only saw Trish naked, but he had sex with her too. He said, "She wasn't all that great. There wasn't anything special about her. Her breasts felt like any other womans...you know how you feel it and ... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it. :shifty: "
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When Kurt Angle wants to mail a letter he shoves it down the throught of the nearest house pet and hurrels it in the direction of the recipient.
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When hospitals are short on IVs, they hook patients up to Chuck Norris.
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Oops, forgot who this thread was supposed to be about.
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Church officials are considering re-naming the Apocalypse 'Chuck Norris'.
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Evolution has no effect on Chuck Norris as he's already the peak of human potential.
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It's official- Kurt has out Helwigged The Warrior.
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No, not quite. He's kept his rants within the realm of wrestling and not expanded into real imaginary hallucinations on anything.
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MMMA really isn't wrestling. Though shooting on people in MMA is no big. Now if he went to a UFC bout with a steel chair...
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...Actually, I'd mark the fuck out.
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Oh Kurt...why the hell are you so insane?
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I could picture Kurt in at least half those scenarios you guys gave. :D
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When he gets shot at, bullets actually move out of the way as to not get hurt by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has met Kurt Angle only once. It was called the Big Bang.
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Kurt Angle doesnt abuse vicodin anymore. He now takes 18 Kurt Angles every morning to get out of bed. By Kurt Angles, i mean vicodin that Kurt Angle made himself and called Kurt Angles.
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Kurt Angle is so awesome that vicodins are addicted to Kurt Angle
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Ron Jeremy actually has a tiny penis/schlong/dick/johnson/jimmy/Heidenreich, he just borrowed Kurt Angles' whenever there was a camera present.
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If Kurt Angle were locked in a room with a guitar he would record an album that would break all sales and bilboard records and sweep the grammys, winning in almost every catagory. When asked why he doesnt do this he promptly says " Cuz that shit is for FAGS ARAHHHA!" He then swallows a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
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lol |
Kurt Angle doesn't win World Titles, World Titles win Kurt Angle.
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In Soviet Russia Jeff Jarrett jobs to Kurt!
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Kurt Angle was looking for a challenge, so he broke his own neck and entered the Olympics.
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On the Seventh Day, Kurt Angle called God lazy and kept working.
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Kurt Angle is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
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Peyton Manning can throw a football 50 yards. Kurt Angle can throw Peyton Manning further.
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Kurt Angle invented a time machine, went back to the dawn of time, killed Chuck Norris and ejaculated into the primordial ooze.
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In 'Star Wars', The Force was played by Chuck Norris.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Kurt Angle has 72, and they'll all make you tap.
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When Kurt Angle thinks of the starving children of Africa, his tears make the skies above them cloud up and rain - a rain of pure acid that kills all the livestock and crops. But his smile can light up a room.
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Okay, was that sig really necessary, Tombstone?
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When Kurt Angle sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Kurt Angle has not had to pay taxes, ever.
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Someone once tried to tell Kurt Angle that the ankle lock isn't the best way to make someone tap. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Kurt Angle made Hitler tap on two nonconsecutive occasions, both times while eating a turkey sandwich on marble rye from the carnegie deli
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Kurt Angle doesn't read in the conventional sense. Rather, the words form into gladiators within his psyche, drawing upon the powers of their respective meanings, and battle until only the strongest survive in an arena of fire.
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Turn your sig off. There's a reason it's set to only show up when you start a topic. |
Kurt Angle is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Kurt Angle.
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Kurt Angle can hit you so hard that he can alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally grab their heads and yell "What the fuck was that!?"
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Kurt Angle once consumed 2,847 regulation hockey pucks in a single sitting.
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Kurt Angle once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.
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Kurt Angle once had cancer, but he coughed out the tumor and then used it to butter his bread.
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In an average wrestling ring there are 1,242 objects Kurt Angle could use to kill you, including the referee.
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On the morning before the first day, God stole Kurt Angles moveset. He couldn't be bothered to complain.
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Kurt Angle does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
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There are no steroids in pro wrestling. Just workers Kurt Angle has breathed on.
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Kurt Angle rejoins seperated siamese twins with his bare hands for his own ammusement.
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Contrary to popular belief, Kurt Angle does not have his own seat on the UN Security Council. He does, however, maintain the right to devour the General Assembly on every third Wednesday of odd-numbered months.
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Kurt Angle split the atom with an ankle lock
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Kurt Angle invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Kane Knight invented pink.
When Kurt Angle talks, everybody listens. And dies. Kurt Angle knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego. |
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Kurt Angle.
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Give it up, Tombstone. :nono:
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It takes Kurt Angle 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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Kurt Angle created South North Korea by drawing a line of chalk 10 miles away from the DMZ and daring anyone to step across.
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and lmfao at turning this into a sorta Kurt Angle vs. Chuck Norris thread. |
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Kurt Angle frequently swallows whole cucumbers, but solely for the nutritional value. Woe to he who should so much as snicker at this admittedly homo-erotic spectacle.
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HUNH!! Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego! |
Kurt Angle is bored by olympic medals. Instead he collects temple pendants and assembles the Silver Monkey with his eyes closed and suplexes any guards that get in his way.
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Kurt Angle and he will roundhouse you in the face.
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Kurt Angle impaled over 40 horses to make what he calls "an authentic" Merry-Go-Round
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When Kurt Angle calls 900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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