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Things I Learned By Watching Wrestling
In no particular order:
*Its perfectly acceptable to name breasts after a common household animal. *It doesn't matter what your name is. *It's ok to take objects, shine them up real nice, turn them sideways, and stick them straight up another person's candy ass. *If you sleep with the boss's daughter, you'll be set for life. *Its Vader Time. *The best way to resolve an argument is in a cage. *Kai En Tai is evil.... INDEED! *Mike Adamle doesn't know a dropkick from a legkick. *Saying "WHAT?" every time someone finishes a thought is a great way to piss them off. *We're all parasitic, gelatinous, hypocritical tapeworms What have YOU learned by watching wrestling?? |
Is this 1997?
Are you going to post a thread about South Park wrestlers next? |
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Nah it's a good thread, I just wanted to make that joke.
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<font color=goldenrod>Cameramen are invisible more often than not.</font>
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Amazing recoveries from one week to the next.
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Bruised ribs can be healed by wrapping tape around your stomach... unless your DDP then your ribs are indefinitely bruised.
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Every 7 footer is a monster.
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If I don't get a job, I can just invade the company, turn stuff over and beat up everyone in sight until they agree to give me the job.
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Necktie choking is absolutely unacceptable.
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Necktie choking is a no no, while an invasion in which the owner of the company is supposedly partly responsible for has no consequences.
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I learned you can be an actor/director and win the WCW title :shifty:
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I've learned that Canadians are hate-filled xenophobes, and their sense of national pride is in fact a deep-rooted insult towards our own country.
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Necrophilia with a teenage cheerleader is more than acceptable.....
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that if I want some, all I have to do is come get some
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that you can feel the bang.
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-Don't piss on the electric fence.
-It is perfectly ok to slap another guy. |
that Big Poppa Pump was my hookup
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*The Iron Sheik isn't exactly a sheik.
*The Great Khali isn't exactly great. *John Cena's orange t-shirt is specially manufactured and laced with pheromones to attract kids and women. |
*It's easy to trust your brother after he's buried you alive or tried to burn you to death.
*A square mat surrounded by ropes is no longer a square. It's a squared circle. *Stand back if there's a hurricane comin' through. *It's ok to love a mop. *It's true. It's damn true. *Bryan Danielson will kick your fucking head in. *There is a place in the world that can't be found on a map. It's called Parts Unknown. *Every WrestleMania is the greatest WrestleMania of all time. *If you're angry and mean-spirited, cheating to win is bad. If you're happy and well-liked, cheating to win is vintage. *Chris Benoit never existed. Don't say he did, because he didn't. |
Every Nitro was the best Nitro ever
That every jobber is "local" You don't piss Jeff Jarrett off |
you can get the shit kicked out of out and take several punches to the face without any bruising or broken bones
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that every British wrestler have the same accent
that no one is Hulk Hogan's brother even he doesn't realise it. |
That sexual harassment is not a crime.
There is nothing worse than getting your head shaved. It's all about the MON-AY. |
Sid rules the world.
Sid resides "wherever he damm well pleases" Man, I wish I could find the video where somebody took an episode of Hogan knows best and added clips of Sycho Sid |
that being hit with a slegehammer rarely causes serious harm.
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that when an official get striked he's KO'd for minutes as if a wrestler get striked s/he's up in seconds.
that all retirements aren't real. that it's cool to spit an apple at someone's face. |
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How to make car crash TV
How to fuck up a storyline Its possible to give birth to a hand How not to use an employee Steel pipes to the skull don't hurt as much as a leg punt. |
-how to fake your own death
-how to have a bastard leperchaun child |
i learned that PIMPIN AINT EASY
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I learned how to "FIRE" someone
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