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-   -   Things I Learned By Watching Wrestling (https://www.tpwwforums.com/showthread.php?t=104044)

Providence Peep 06-22-2010 11:32 PM

Things I Learned By Watching Wrestling
 
In no particular order:

*Its perfectly acceptable to name breasts after a common household animal.
*It doesn't matter what your name is.
*It's ok to take objects, shine them up real nice, turn them sideways, and stick them straight up another person's candy ass.
*If you sleep with the boss's daughter, you'll be set for life.
*Its Vader Time.
*The best way to resolve an argument is in a cage.
*Kai En Tai is evil.... INDEED!
*Mike Adamle doesn't know a dropkick from a legkick.
*Saying "WHAT?" every time someone finishes a thought is a great way to piss them off.
*We're all parasitic, gelatinous, hypocritical tapeworms

What have YOU learned by watching wrestling??

Xero 06-22-2010 11:32 PM

Is this 1997?

Are you going to post a thread about South Park wrestlers next?

VSG 06-22-2010 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Providence Peep (Post 3129009)
In no particular order:

*Its perfectly acceptable to name breasts after a common household animal.

Care to remind me?

Xero 06-22-2010 11:33 PM

Nah it's a good thread, I just wanted to make that joke.

Evil Vito 06-22-2010 11:48 PM

<font color=goldenrod>Cameramen are invisible more often than not.</font>

The Pope 06-23-2010 12:01 AM

Amazing recoveries from one week to the next.

ImAnIdiot 06-23-2010 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Providence Peep (Post 3129009)
In no particular order:


*If you sleep with the boss's daughter, you'll be ruined for life.


SuperSlim 06-23-2010 12:17 AM

Bruised ribs can be healed by wrapping tape around your stomach... unless your DDP then your ribs are indefinitely bruised.

The Pope 06-23-2010 12:18 AM

Every 7 footer is a monster.

Lock Jaw 06-23-2010 12:20 AM

If I don't get a job, I can just invade the company, turn stuff over and beat up everyone in sight until they agree to give me the job.

Exyle 06-23-2010 12:20 AM

Necktie choking is absolutely unacceptable.

The Pope 06-23-2010 12:25 AM

Necktie choking is a no no, while an invasion in which the owner of the company is supposedly partly responsible for has no consequences.

RKO'em 06-23-2010 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exyle (Post 3129077)
Necktie choking is absolutely unacceptable.

...and friends can be made from people who used to beat the fuck out of you.

Kane Knight 06-23-2010 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Providence Peep (Post 3129009)
*Its perfectly acceptable to name breasts after a common household animal.

Not exactly wrestling exclusive.

Kane Knight 06-23-2010 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lock Jaw (Post 3129076)
If I don't get a job, I can just invade the company, turn stuff over and beat up everyone in sight until they agree to give me the job.

In fact, assaulting the boss is a good way to get what you want. He'll rarely sue you, file assault charges, or call the cops. More than likely, he will meet you in the ring, give you a title shot, or hire you just so he can crush you.

Perry Saturn 06-23-2010 01:07 AM

I learned you can be an actor/director and win the WCW title :shifty:

Nowhere Man 06-23-2010 01:12 AM

I've learned that Canadians are hate-filled xenophobes, and their sense of national pride is in fact a deep-rooted insult towards our own country.

Wolfpack423 06-23-2010 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exyle (Post 3129077)
Necktie choking is absolutely unacceptable.

Good one, but I think he was released for two reasons 1) Chris Benoit tragedy-he hung himself, and 2) Linda's senate race. I do think Danielson will be back at some point. They better capitalize before 90 days or he'll be in TNA, while Nigel will head to WWE since TNA is screwing him over.

Lock Jaw 06-23-2010 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfpack423 (Post 3129238)
Good one, but I think he was released for two reasons 1) Chris Benoit tragedy-he hung himself, and 2) Linda's senate race. I do think Danielson will be back at some point. They better capitalize before 90 days or he'll be in TNA, while Nigel will head to WWE since TNA is screwing him over.

http://www.madassnews.net/imgdump/cool-story-bro.jpg

Rammsteinmad 06-23-2010 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Providence Peep (Post 3129009)
If you sleep with the boss's daughter.

I learned this from experience. :cool:

The Ravishing One 06-23-2010 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Providence Peep (Post 3129009)
*If you sleep with the boss's daughter, you'll be set for life.

I think Randy Savage would disagree!

Nicky Fives 06-23-2010 08:26 AM

Necrophilia with a teenage cheerleader is more than acceptable.....

The Jayman 06-23-2010 08:37 AM

that if I want some, all I have to do is come get some

RiX1024 06-23-2010 09:16 AM

that you can feel the bang.

Innovator 06-23-2010 09:24 AM

-Don't piss on the electric fence.

-It is perfectly ok to slap another guy.

The Jayman 06-23-2010 09:29 AM

that Big Poppa Pump was my hookup

Providence Peep 06-23-2010 09:34 AM

*The Iron Sheik isn't exactly a sheik.
*The Great Khali isn't exactly great.
*John Cena's orange t-shirt is specially manufactured and laced with pheromones
to attract kids and women.

Providence Peep 06-23-2010 09:55 AM

*It's easy to trust your brother after he's buried you alive or tried to burn you to death.
*A square mat surrounded by ropes is no longer a square. It's a squared circle.
*Stand back if there's a hurricane comin' through.
*It's ok to love a mop.
*It's true. It's damn true.
*Bryan Danielson will kick your fucking head in.
*There is a place in the world that can't be found on a map. It's called Parts Unknown.
*Every WrestleMania is the greatest WrestleMania of all time.
*If you're angry and mean-spirited, cheating to win is bad. If you're happy and well-liked, cheating to win is vintage.
*Chris Benoit never existed. Don't say he did, because he didn't.

RiX1024 06-23-2010 12:13 PM

Every Nitro was the best Nitro ever
That every jobber is "local"
You don't piss Jeff Jarrett off

Razzamajazz 06-23-2010 12:24 PM

you can get the shit kicked out of out and take several punches to the face without any bruising or broken bones

RiX1024 06-23-2010 12:27 PM

that every British wrestler have the same accent
that no one is Hulk Hogan's brother even he doesn't realise it.

Haze 06-23-2010 12:29 PM

That sexual harassment is not a crime.
There is nothing worse than getting your head shaved.
It's all about the MON-AY.

Rollermacka 06-23-2010 02:43 PM

Sid rules the world.
Sid resides "wherever he damm well pleases"

Man, I wish I could find the video where somebody took an episode of Hogan knows best and added clips of Sycho Sid

theexample 06-23-2010 03:39 PM

that being hit with a slegehammer rarely causes serious harm.

RiX1024 06-23-2010 05:24 PM

that when an official get striked he's KO'd for minutes as if a wrestler get striked s/he's up in seconds.
that all retirements aren't real.
that it's cool to spit an apple at someone's face.

TheZman 06-23-2010 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exyle (Post 3129077)
Necktie choking is absolutely unacceptable.

But home invasion is perfectly fine

Mooияakeя™ 06-23-2010 07:58 PM

How to make car crash TV
How to fuck up a storyline
Its possible to give birth to a hand
How not to use an employee
Steel pipes to the skull don't hurt as much as a leg punt.

Perry Saturn 06-23-2010 08:26 PM

-how to fake your own death
-how to have a bastard leperchaun child

glanville6 06-23-2010 10:22 PM

i learned that PIMPIN AINT EASY

Perry Saturn 06-23-2010 10:24 PM

I learned how to "FIRE" someone


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