TPWW Forums - Ric Flair and a Contest

Yeah, I had to do it:

Situation: Okay, so some 17 year old WWE fan from Arkansas named Tim has just won a contest to meet Ric Flair and have a little interview with him. Tim has been following the WWE(F) for a long time and is one of those internet fans too. So this is the transcript of Tim's interview with Ric:

**Tim sticks out hand for a shake

Tim: How are you doing Mr. Flair, it's such an honor to me..........

Flair: Wait, Wait, Wait, have you paid your dues yet son?

Tim: Um....Huh...I just won a contest to interview you. My name's Tim.

Flair: Are you kidding me, how long have you been in the business for?

Tim: I'm not in the business Mr. Flair, I'm just a kid who won a contest over the Internet.

Flair: Please don't mention that "I" word ever again when you talk to me, GOT IT?

Tim: Okay, I'm sorry Mr. Flair. I won't ever use that wo.......

Flair: So are you going to ask me questions or what? I've got to be at Wargames" in an hour.

Tim: ...............

Tim: Okay first question, I've heard that you liked playing a heel more then a babyface during your career. Is this true?

Flair: What did you just say? Excuse me, you are not allowed to use terms like the ones you just used. Those terms belong to the business and they are sacred. You people from the outside just think you know everything and that you are smarter then everyone on the inside. I just want to take my bedpan and smash it in some guys face the next time I hear words like those used.

Tim: Okay, which words are we talking about here Mr. Flair?

Flair: Tim, have you ever wrestled for more then 10 minutes in your life?

Tim: No.....Not really

Flair: Move on to the next question Tim.

Tim: Sure Thing Mr Flair. I read on the Smackdown Spoilers this week that Paul Heyman is the new GM. What do you think of that and what's your views on Mr. Heyman?

***Flair's eyes light up and his face turns beat red.

Flair: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spoilers????? That is how you refer to to hard work we put on, as nothing more then Spoilers?

Tim: No, Mr Flair: Spoilers are just the results from the up coming Smackdown show this week. You can read about it on the In.......

Flair: Don't do it Tim. What in the world gives you the right to read about what is going to happen on one of our shows? Does a baseball game give away the results before the game is played Tim?

Tim: Baseball Games are usually live Mr. Flair. And I don't see what the proble........

***Flair has a blank look on his face. Begins talking in a very calm voice

Flair: Tim, Have you ever wrestled in a Royal Rumble for over an hour?

Tim: No Mr. Flair, I have not.

Flair: Next question Please.

Tim: Wait, what about your views on Paul Heyman?

Flair: Pure Crap, he produced a shi** company with even shi**er workers. That kind of wrestling makes no sense and I just want to jam cinder blocks in my eyes whenever someone tries to tell me that it was great TV.

Tim: Okay, this is my final question and then we will move on to word association. Who do you think is the future of the business and why?

***Flair puts his hand over his face and begins to talk.

Flair: You son of a bit**. You think you can talk to me like you work for the business.

Tim: Mr. Flair, I was jus.......

Flair: Shut it Tim. Look, you and I both know your just a little fan who thinks he's got it all figured out. You think that you can just sit at home and pass judgement on all those who dedicate their lives for the business. Do I look like FK'N VINCE McMahon Tim? How the FK would I know who is the future of the business. This is my life Tim. How dare you talk like that.

Tim: I just wanted an opinion Mr. Flair.

Flair: Tim, have you ever been a Four Horseman?

Tim: Look Ric, I'm sorr............

Flair: Just move on to your little word association Tim because I'm about ready to punch your lights out.

Tim: Alright then, I'm gonna name some names and you say a word or a phrase that best describes them.

***Flair nods off

Tim: Mr Flair, are you ready:

Flair: Christ, can we go a little slower Tim?

Tim: Okay, Mick Foley

Flair: Idiotic.

Tim: Ultimo Dragon

Flair: Who?

Tim: RVD

Flair: The guy that flies

Tim: Batista

Flair: Who?

Tim: Evolution

Flair: Great Worker

Tim: ...........

Tim: Shelton Benjamin

Flair: Retired way to soon.

Tim: .......

***Tim doesn't even ask the next two

Tim: Okay, Mr. Flair, that's it. I want to thankyou for taking the oppurtunity to mee.......

Flair: Okay kid, WOOOOOOOOOOO and all that crap. Bye.