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What WON'T Happen on Raw...
Well, we never know what will happen on Raw, but let's list some things that WON'T... This could be very funny.
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Kane shagging lita in the middle of the ring... :shifty:
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Quote:
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*Christian nails the Unprettier*
JR: BAH GAWD UNPRETTIER! |
Lita pulls an Academy Award winning promo.
Musical Chair Battle Royale for the IC Title. Val Venis,Matt Hardy, or Steven Richards NOT getting squashed. Kane turning face. JR and King talking about nuclear fission |
Bret Hart appearing...
Stone Cold appearing... Hulk Hogan appearing... Triple H talking to a bush... :shifty: |
Me winning the title.
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VKM joining the Eric Bischoff Kiss My ass Club
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Randy Orton cuts a promo that isn't unoriginal and boring.
Ditto HHH. Chris Jericho gets a well deserved title shot. We get a decent match commentary. |
The King running the entire show without saying "Puppies" and getting an erection
Shawn Michaels Pronouncing his love for Canada Vince apologizing for the screw job The Hurricane and Rossie actually being taken seriously Kane shagging Lita backstage without Lita botching it |
Rosie graduating from S.H.I.T
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Hurricane saying stand back.
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Quote:
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HBK and HHH end their feud.
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Kane coming out with a French Poodle (His lunch not included).
The Hurricane winning a title match. ANY TITLE. EVER. JR getting his lines right. JR getting excited over anyone but Austin. JR losing weight (Jesus Christ, strap him to a treadmill for the two hours he's on air or something). King protesting the rampant sexism on Raw. A decent women's match. the return of Kane's invisible friend. Mr. Socko strike out on his own. |
Quote:
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Eugene learning simple motor skills.
The return of Karl Malone one on one with Kane. Gillberg pins Benoit for the World Title. Flair suddenly is not god. |
Jericho will not take Hurricane and Rosey hostage.
Repo Man will not appear. Ditto Lex Luger and Marty Janetty. There will not be an Amish Roadkill sign in the crowd. Nobodies upper body will be covered in glow in the dark paint. Kane will not give birth to a hippopotamus. HHH will not attempt an Asai Moonsault. Eugene will not appear at the launch of his first book E=MC2 There will not be any footage of Randy Orton mating with a Thompsons Gazelle There will be no wrestlers wearing stilts There will not be a Pie eating contest Tugboat will not start a feud with Vader There will not be a castration We will not see a sacrifice to Loki the god of mischeif We will not hear Kanes rendition of 'Achey Breakey Heart' Nobody will be late for the show due to them being stuck in the car park of a petting zoo. Eugene and Al Snow will not play Backgammon, Chess, Checkers or Scrabble. Aliens will not abduct Jerry Lawler DDP will not use the Diamond Cutter on Randy Orton We will not see the Ultimate Warrior shaking the ropes to psyche himself up. Batista will not take a career change and start dressing up as Pluto at Disney World. Ric Flair will not perform Swan Lake on ice. The Cheeky Girls will not be singing the words to the opening credits |
JR actually telling us when there will be commercials...
Tajiri swallowing the mist by mistake and dies... Later it's noted that Triple H switched packets. King Kong showing up and eating Steph... King Kong showing up and eating Triple H... Then gets heartburn and dies cause he ate "bad pie"... Little Johnny Debuting... Bret Hart returning and saying that it was all a fix and he was a plant in WCW... Goes on to reveal himself as Eugene's "Mom" and beating up Bischoff... Yes, Bischoff's sister was Bret Hart all along! Triple H promoting Randy Orton to leader of Evolution... :shifty: |
Spike Dudley being named as Taker and Kanes third brother
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Steven Richards will not win a match (damn shame)
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Hurricane and Rosey will NOT fight anyone besides La Resistance
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