RAW Captions [1/26/04]
 

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg

RIC: Okay, okay, I'll admit it. You CAN kick my ass so hard the WWE logo falls off my tights.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg

After taking advantage of her, Quasimodo took Esmerelda up to his clock tower.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg

........UH-OH!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg

Randy Orton: Master Impressionist strikes again, this time doing his "Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade" bit.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg

The Midcard Revolution had begun. The first hostage had been taken. Now it was time for the leader to call out the oppressor.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg

Y2J: I was just...uh...reading your shirt.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg

Teddy was being helpful, counting off the reps Jazz did with her invisible barbells.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg

LITA: Uh...two! *Looks at hand* Dammit! I was gonna guess four!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/09.jpg

Everyone who knew her said that Molly was sweet. Victoria had to find out for herself.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg

Steven reappeared long enough to tell Victoria "I TOLD you eating too many sweets would give you a toothache!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg

HBK: Ever since I got this flesh-eating virus...well...I've lost my smile.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg

AUSTIN: Pointternees!
JR: BAH GAWD!
KING: They need to stop stocking his dressing room with beer.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg

CHRIS: Okay. Which one of you do I get to beat?
*Long pause. HHH and HBK then break out laughing.*

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg

This seemed an inappropriate time and an inappropriate pair, but that didn't stop Cupid from firing his Radioactive Purple Arrow.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg

KANE: Have you done THIS one yet, Hunter?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg

His question was answered by yet another Invisible Crucifixion.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg

CONWAY (reading): "Frich sippathighzurs suk?" Ah...the American educational system.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/18.jpg

CONWAY: And THAT's for stealing the bathing suit from a 1930s movie star!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/19.jpg

The latest round of move restrictions limited all wrestlers not named Hunter, Shawn (NOT including "Sean"), or McMahon to rear chinlocks. Rico tapped out of sheer boredom.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg

Rico does his "Vince McMahon watching a hoss match" impression.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/21.jpg

Even God had to sneak a peek at Jackie's...revelation.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg

STACY: You know, with my face and legs, and your chest and abs, we could really put something together.
LOOPYDATE: Could I borrow it?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/23.jpg

The ensuing bulge in Rico's tights revealed the shocking truth. It wasn't Triple H holding down talent because they made him look bad...it was LANCE STORM holding down talent with bigger endowments!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg

The ref acted as a translator. No one else in the locker room could understand both gorilla and retard.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg

REF: I think he said "I want to eat your face."
GOLDBERG: Wuh?
REF: Um..."Uh wuh ee yuh fay!"
GOLDBERG: Buhstuh!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg

COACH: No, Bull! I swear, it was Booker T who said he didn't like "Night Court!" I loved it! Harry Anderson, John Larroquette... Ah! Put me down!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg

FAN: Hey, Bill! What's the square root of 121?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/28.jpg

MICK: What do you MEAN, my mascara's running?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg

MICK: What's that, Chairy? Randy said the secret word?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg
Flair: "Okay, you felt my breasts. Now I feel yours!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg
The dashing Prince Batista swooped in onto the RAW scene, rescuing Princess Jericho, who was being buried, and taking her away to to a Land Far Away.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg
Orton was a quick student in the Triple H School of Homoerotic Hold-Down Techniques.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg
Who knew Shaniqua controlled RAW wrestlers as well?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg
The ref suddenly turned heel by siding with Batista and jamming a giant rod up Jericho's ass.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg
Jericho was disappointed. Even claiming to have a Lance Storm-sized package failed to impress Trish and get her to like him.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg
"Check out those Jazz hands!"

OR

With his new Advanced Remote, Teddy Long could make Jazz do the Robot Dance.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
A year after it happened, Amy finally called out Lance and Christian to confront them about what happened that day on the highway.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/09.jpg
In a rare mistake, Molly badly botches the Widow's Peak.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg
Steven Richards just couldn't keep it in and burst out loud laughing at Victoria's unfortunate loss of her jaw to Shaniqua (with help from Molly).

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg
The first ever WWE Fellatio Simulation Contest for the World Championship ended in a draw, much to the ire of the fans.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg
Austin: "Okay, so lemme get this straight. This right here IS Texas, or did I take a wrong turn back on route 98 again?"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg
It was a cold and shocking blackmail. Chris wanted a title shot, or he'd levitate both HHH and HBK up in the air forever!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg
Nurse Kane helps Bubba Ray out by patching up his boo-boo and giving it a kiss.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg
"Mommy! Mommy! The bumblebee stung me!!! :'( "

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg
Kane does his best Goldberg Retarded Facial Expression impersonation.

OR

Shaniqua's RAW invasion continued when she ripped Kane's eyes out.

OR

Someone obviously took that "Got your nose" gag a bit to far when they went for Kane's eyeballs.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg
After this week's roster meeting, all wrestlers now had to stop and actually salute the new statue commemorating HHH and HBK's great match a few weeks ago on RAW when they got to the ring.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/18.jpg
Yeah, I know body paint is supposed to be sexy because you're naked but you still covered, but putting it on Rico is just... disturbing.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/19.jpg
Ever the optimistic, Rico still had time to play one handed patty cake with the Invisible Man while stuck in a chinlock.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg
I guess when the Genie asked him what he wanted, Rico said "short and thick" as opposed to "long and slender."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/21.jpg
Jackie was going to go all the way until the female version of the hold-down aura, controlled by Stephanie, dropped down and smacked her in the head.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg
In these tough times, not only did the work of holding up the glass ceiling fall onto the women, but they were required to grin and bear it too.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/23.jpg
Much to the fans' delight, Jackie Gayda chose this moment to utilize her new "Stacy Kiebler with or without Panties" clap on device. One clap for upskirt, two claps for cold breeze...

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg
The chemical reaction of both men's halitosis resulted in the untimely death of yet another WWE employee (the ref).

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg
The ref rushed to his position. Now that these two were locked together, they had only seconds to get the Sky Wrench to pick them BOTH up and hurl them into the river!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg
Coach finds out the hard way that Goldberg had really been taken over by Shang Tsung.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg
Goldberg stared intently. If he looked long enough, those squiggly lines might tell him how to spell his first name.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/28.jpg
Orton: "Dude... Shawn's pimple was MUCH worse."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg
A wise veteran, Mick had learned to use a steel chair to shield his eyes from HHH's blinding ego.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg

Kane became the first cruicifiction to the invisible cross.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg

This image makes me too ****ing angry to do captions this week.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg
Flair, "Oh yeah, work it Chris, the camera is your best freind....Oh yeah there it is, Perfect..... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg
Jericho, "Okay Dave, ready for the sunset flip."
Batista, "ERRRR, Spinebuster, okay."



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg
Ref, "...so let me get this straight, Greenland is ice and Iceland is green.
Orton, "Yeah pretty confusing isn't it."





http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg
Orton went a little overboard when he got to, 'This little piggy had none'

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg
Jericho, "......and walla, your push is gone."
Trish, "Wow, how do you do that."
Jericho, "Magic."
Trish, "Can I try."
Jericho, "Well you have to ask HHH, he taught me that trick."


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg
I guess Teddy should of checked the batteries on the device he implanted in Jazz's brain that gives her a personality.



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
Austin (off camera), '...see you can move it in circles."
Lita, "I know Steve, it's opposable."
Austin, "You heard about this too."



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg
Stevie watched on in exitement as Molly Holly was the final competitor in the official, "Bob for HHH's apples" contest.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg
While no one was actually able to sucessfully "Bob" for HHH's apples, Michaels was declared the winner for undoubtingly giving the most effort.


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg
After hearing how well Shawn did in the contest, Austin tells him to "Get back down there and try my apples on for size."


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg
Benoit showed up from Smackdown to explain his digust for the contest while HHH wondered how many times he could bury Benoit without making it seem to obvious.



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg
Wrestlers were told by Vince to stop and smile for the cameras after hiiting their finishing maneuvers.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg
The crowd and Kane wondered what the hell all that noise was backstage. We would later learn that Goldberg was trying to learn how to use a fax machine.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg
Conway, "HMM, I thought Vince told O'Haire to set up his lemonade stand in section 45.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg
And now let's join "Wrestler's say the Darndest Things" in progress:

Goldberg, "How many pieces of chicken are in a six piece chicken meal?"
Henry, "Eight"
Goldberg, "I don't know, I'm asking you."


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg
Coach is shocked when Goldberg reveals he pulled the briefcase


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg
Goldberg, "Okay Donald's a duck, Mickey's a mouse, Pluto's dog, what the hell is Goofy?"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Okay this is the Caption of the Century. I was laughing so hard I started to cry. Loopy, you should put this in your sig.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg
Flair: Okay, you're right. You ARE the King of the Electric Slide.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg
Teddy Long introduces his newest stable member, Ru Paul.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
Hey Molly, I'm gonna kick.... Oh look, a birdy!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg
Buh Buh: Owww my tooth!
Kane: Don't worry, I used to be a doctor.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg
Stacy and Jackie found out there wouldn't be any FFX2 commercials during Raw tonight so they decided to act it out on their own
Both: ".... forward is the only way my heart will go..."

:love:

How many promos would you say you botched? *Waves arm, whooshing sound* Would you say...one thousand promos?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg
Batista: Hey Ric, I found a loose mid carder trying to free himself, can I keep him?


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg
WWE logo nipple piercings are all the rave


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg
Austin: So I said rectum? Damn near killed em!


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg
Kane: Did I leave the iron on?


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg
It was at this moment in history when all matter was consumed into a black hole called Henry vs. Goldberg


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg
Coach: OH MY GOD!!...you can talk!!!!


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg
See what happens when you steal Billy's kitty

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg
Goldberg: I'm gonna spear you!
Coach: You'll also job to brock!
Goldberg: :(

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg
REF: I am the Masked Ref bwahahahahaha!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg
Batista decided to show that Americans were nice and loving in front of the tourists behind him.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg
REF: Hey! Who took my beer?
Orton: It wasn't me. :shifty:

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg
REF: I'm melting I'm MELTING!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg
The crowd was speechless as Jericho transformed into Edge.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg
The censors made up their minds and decided to censor the male nipples.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg
Jazz began to cry when she tried to do the YMCA dance and Teddy decided to point and laugh.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
Officer: How many beers have you had?
Lita:1....2....this many.

This is my first attempt at captions.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg
Ric: Up above, down below... YOU'RE TOO SLOW!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg
Lillian Garcia began rehearsals for her part in the new King Kong.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg
RVD helps get an itch that's been bothering Orton for days. "No, below the bag... AHH! SWEET RELIEF!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg
In return, Orton tries to aid RVD's recent hearing problems.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg
Jericho had managed to slay a huge beast, but was having difficulty carrying it back to the ranch.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg
When Trish least expects it, Jericho prepares a slap for messing him around.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg
The immature Jazz tries to make sexual words out of the Titantron. "IT SAYS JIZ! HAHA!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
Molly didn't appreciate Lita's tips on sexual pleasure.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/09.jpg
Molly showed Lita her more S&M approach, which Lita could hardly watch.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg
"Stevie, it hurts there... stop slapping it! Stop it!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg
HHH and HBK play the 'Guess the celebrity stuck to your head' game. "Is it a male?"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg
Austin was running out of ideas for distracting people for a Stunner. "Down there! A spider!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg
Benoit makes his claim as HBK and HHH hold the annual "So you want to be champion?" interviews.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg
Kane had figured out a way to quickly win matches: drug overdoses.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg
The crowd were growing restless: Kane had been on his knees for several minutes thinking of the next spot.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg
D-Von put a stop to it by biting Kane.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg
Rob decides to give himself an eye test. "Better... or worse?"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/18.jpg
Rob tries to pull off the black ferret that landed on Rico's cheek.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/19.jpg
In an attempt to desensitise him to homosexuality, Rob rubs his dick on Rico for 3 hours.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg
Rico had to help Rob in declaring black power.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/21.jpg
With a flash of her tits, Jackie managed to wake the huge bright-eyed robot lurking in the darkness.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg
Randy Savage watches from the front row and wonders what might have been if he was a little younger.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/23.jpg
Jackie clapped Stacy's superb display of farting.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg
If Michael Jackson had been a wrestler: Before and After.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg
As they tie-up, Henry suddenly acts as peacemaker when Goldberg spots Vince Russo in the crowd.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg
Coach was going to beat Bill the only way possible - getting Rita from the Power Rangers to make him GROOOW!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg
In the middle of another sparkling promo, Bill stops for a moment to try and remember the correct Shakespeare quote. "I honour'd him, I lov'd him; and will weep my date of life out, for his sweet life's loss..."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/28.jpg
Orton wondered if Foley's skin would peel off if he pulled the little red strap all the way around Mick's body.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg
A savage attack on Mick by The Thing from the Addams Family.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
Lita holds up the shocker sign to Sstacey.

What happened to Good Ol JG? This guy was the Next Big Thing caption-wise, but he's been MIA for the last two weeks.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg

Flair: "Aaaaand... jazz hands!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg

You're never too old for somebody to give you a burp.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg

Maybe it was just him, but Randy thought that mid-match was just so darned inappropiate for RVD to light up a fat one.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg

Randy Orton: "Damn you, RVD... why don't you sell?!?!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg

The Walls of Jericho were going well until Batista started singing "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me..."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg

Trish: "Um, Chris... you can put it away now."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg

Even Teddy Long was impressed by how much weight Queen Latifah had lost.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg

Lita's promo stopped cold when she realized, to her dismay, that the next line was horribly smudged.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/09.jpg

Molly: "So you've been on the Internet, have you?!?! Brock says he'll see you in hell!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg

Victoria: "Is my breath really that bad?"
Stevie: "No. NO! That's just Molly. She says things. Now close your mouth, honey."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg

After sustaining injuries from the previous night, HBK had to agree... Stephanie was a wildcat in bed.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg

Austin: "Hey, look... a penny! Well, are you going to pick up or what?"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg

Chris: "...and on 'Smackdown!', we didn't have announcers that screamed 'puppies!' every five minutes!"
HBK: "Impossible!"
Chris: "And cruiserweights had their own titles!"
Hunter: "I grow weary of your lies!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg

After Kane sees the state of Bubba's teeth, he was incredibly grateful that he was rid of the old dentist gig.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg

Kane: "Wait a minute... this guy's black! How in the hell is he brothers with Bubba?"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg

The question screwed with Kane's mind until he gradually went insane. Here he's convinced that he's really RVD.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg

Rob, Rob, Rob... everyone loves the People's Eyebrow, but lifting it up with your finger doesn't count.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/18.jpg

The Ref was happy. It was all going according to plan. The wrestlers were distracted. Now was the time to steal Rico's boots.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/19.jpg

The Ref and Rico were all set to play pattycake, but Rob Conway had to go and ruin it all!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg

Ref: "Oh my God! There's five of them! ... Oh, wait, that's Conway's hand."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/21.jpg

The aliens had arrived, and they demanded that Earth give them two good reasons why our pathetic world shouldn't be destroyed. Jackie sprung into action.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg

Brian "Spanky" Kendrick and Shannon Moore make their RAW debuts.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/23.jpg

Stacy: *giggle* "You naughty boy! And you said you were gay."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg

Mark: "Don't look now, Bill, but ... um... your head is on fire."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg

Mark: "You're going to Smackdown!? Oh, God, please don't let me be the only no-talent uppercarder on the show! *sob*"
Goldberg: "You're ... not ... a..."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg

Realizing that there was no way to beat Goldberg in a fair fight, Coach pulls a Mike Tyson.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg

Goldberg: "Aw geez... I did leave my oven on."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/28.jpg

Orton: "Someday... when my life has passed me by... I'll look around and wonder why you were always there for me.... Take it away, mick!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg

He may be one of the biggest names in wrestling, but Mick was never too big to help put away the chairs at the end of every show.

Loopy if you don't put that caption in your sig, let me put that in mine. That was so funny.

I did. You're still welcome to if you want. Free publicity = Good. :D

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg>
Flair was just as shocked as everyone else. No one knew how Y2J’s hand caught on fire.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg>
No Dave, this isn’t what Vince meant when he thought you could carry talent in a match.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg>
At least Randy thought that the ref’s new laser vision was cool, but with a laser like that, Randy just KNEW that ref was overcompensating.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg>
Orton: No one, and I mean NO ONE touches the “little legend.”
RVD: Dude, you so shouldn’t admit it is little on TV.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg>
Chirs was laughing just like everyone else after Orton blotched the RKO.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg>
Jericho: Yeah Trish, I know what you’re thinking… You’re wondering where my pants went!
Trish: No, I’m wondering when you got the WWE logo tattooed on your nipple, and where the draft is coming from.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/07.jpg>
And THAT’S how you point to someone’s elbow!

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg>
Lita learns that it’s a little harder to point at your own elbow.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/09.jpg>
Molly was clearly hired by Vince to stop people from messing with Sean O’Haire. With Lita working the controls to lower it, Victoria was bound to unlock the cage.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg>
No, Molly is not mad because she lost the match. She’s nauseated with the stench. Stevie laughs with the knowledge that since Spanky left no one has cleaned out Sean O’Haire’s cage.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg>
Okay, I’ve had enough of these damn budget cutbacks! Now they’re having the wrestlers regurgitate smaller items to save on packing!!!

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg>
Austin: Triple H, I need the cash you owe me, now.
HHH: But Steve! I don’t have the money now. You know I’m good for it.
Austin: I said now.
HHH: But I don’t have it now!
Austin: Why the hell not?
HHH: Because I don’t sell anything.
HBK: It's true.
Austin: Don’t change the subject.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg>
HHH: Hey! Benny! Guess what! You get to clean out Sean’s cage!
Beniot: I’m in the midst of a main event push! Why do I have to clean out the cage?
HHH: Because I’m fu</>cking Vince’s daughter, HBK is my buddy, and The Ultimate Dragon is too busy selling Evolution shirts on the corner.
Beniot: That’s Ultmio Dragon.
HBK: Get up there, cage wench!
Beniot: Shut up Shawn. This doesn’t concern you.
HHH: That’s right! Stay out of this Shawn. No Chris, get up there, cage wench!

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg>
Bubba: I’m telling you! OUCH! IT’S NOT A MASK!!!! ARRRRRGRGHGEH!!!
Kane: But you fell in the net! Scooby said the bad guy always wears a mask and always gets caught in the net! Now where’s my push!?!?!?

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg>
A few inches short of a knee drop… and D-Von STILL oversold it!

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg>
Alas, Kane stood, confused… If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands… On one hand he is going to be put in a feud with The Undertaker, but on the other hand Kane being afraid of the Undertaker will ruin the whole “Monster” thing, thus, letting the thief who took his push run father away… Should Kane Clap….

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg>
Try as he might, Conway couldn’t find Waldow that night.

<Img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/18.jpg>
Conway had to hold Rico down. If he wouldn’t of, Rico would of started riverdancing with the ref.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/19.jpg>
Ref: No Rico, you’re doing it all wrong. If you’re going to do the “stuck in a box” bit you need your legs in the box.
Rico: I’m sorry, I don’t know much about boxes.
Conways: <I>*snickers*</I>
Ref: Wait… Is that a joke?

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg>
In mid match Rico did his remediation of Limp Bizkit’s “Rollin’.”

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/21.jpg>
No caption here… I just really, really, really wish that I were the cameraman on the other side of the ring.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg>
For the first time in wrestling history the “You Sold Out” chant wasn’t out of anger.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/23.jpg>
Albeit he has become a little weird, lost some of his mass, and has become more flamboyant than ever, it’s a good thing to know that the Warrior is still straight.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg>
All the ref could do is think…
<I>*Oh god… All it’s going to be is a shoulder block, a bear hug, a spear, a press slam into the power slam, a jackhammer, and a lariat… I should of brought my gameboy to the ring…*</I>

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg>
Mark Henry and the ref shocked the world as they hit the 3D on Goldberg to become The New Dudley Boyz.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg>
The Coach really shouldn’t be so shocked that Goldberg didn’t sell the 3D.

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg>
Goldberg (thinking): <I>*Hmmm… I could hit the Coach with a neckbreaker drop, or maybe a tornado punch. Maybe I’ll just stalk him for a while, and when he gets up give him a hanging vertical suplex, or a standing drop kick… How about a double underhook suplex followed up with a diving elbow or… Nah, I’ll just use the spear.*</I>

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/28.jpg>
Foley: Now this, Randy, is how to cut a promo, damn it! Now stop wasting time and say something intelligent on the mic!
Randy:………………i just pooed in my tights……..…………

<img src= http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg>
Mick was out manned when the ninja’s came storming down the ramp, and he didn’t have a weapon to fight them with… Until Sean O’Haire dropped one through the bars of his cage.
Mick: It’s Ninja Ass Kicking Time!

Uberprops to El Santo!!!! I can't decide which one of your captions I should point out to show that you sir, are the man! :rofl:

^ Agreed. He's been on a roll since returning from a little rust break.

<img src=http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg>
Monday! Monday! Monday!
It’s time for the biggest <font size=1><i><u>waste of</i></u></font size=1> time in pro wrestling history!
One is a former Olympic athlete who won a contest held by the Governor of California!
The other was the biggest man in the industry until people woke up!
It’s Hoss Mania! Mania! Mania!
Only on… uhhh… ‘cuse, wake up…
Is Hoss Mania THAT boring?

Hello, and welcome to another Monday Night Raw Edition of The Bad News, and The Good News! I’ll be your host, Always450, but there is no host at the bar!

Frist…
The Bad News…
<img src=http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg>
Chris Beniot WILL be buried.
<img src=http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg>
At his current rate Rico will become the guy replacing the urinal mints in the rest room due to misuse.
<img src=http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg>
Batista still only knows 3 moves.

The Good News…
<img src=http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/22.jpg>
Need I say more?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/10.jpg
Victoria flees the ring, now with a permanant case of cockjaw from "performing" for HHH to keep her job. Meanwhile, Steven is pleased to be next.

heh
 

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg
Did you know that Geico handles claims within a 24 hour period and can save you up to 15% on your car insurance?

Edit: Thanks. :)

[img] address [/img]

:)

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg

Goldberg: (As Wendy Testeberger) Hi Coach!

Coach: BLAHH! AH! BLAH BLAH!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg

Henry: YOU STOLE MY JACKET...

Goldberg: NO I DID No..

Henry: YOU STOLE

Goldberg: I DIDNT STEAL IT...

Henry: Yes YOU D

Goldberg: VINCE TOOK IT

Ref: Excuse me, may I borrow a pencil?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg

Flair: I didn't meen to touch you, but your long hair and that tight ass, you look alot like Trish.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/02.jpg

Batista: Me take you home, Sweet love we make.



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/04.jpg

Orton tried to learn RVD a new dancing move.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg

HHH thought he was home again, sitting on the toilet.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg

Y2J: Your eyes...they are...really big.



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg

HBK: I still think your nose is big.
HHH: Can't we talk this over in my room.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg

AUSTIN: The one who first kiss my shoes will be the new champion.


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg

Chris: And then the chicken told the cow, that he can't fly.
HHH & HBK: So this is why they send him to RAW

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/14.jpg

Kane: What does my hand smells like?


http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/16.jpg

Kane pretended to be Goldberg.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg

Conway: YMCA!, YMCA!.



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg

Goldberg: dawawa Booker T.
Henry: Oeoe, Kissie, kissie
(olright i got nothing)



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg

REF: Guys, i don't want to disturb your moment here, but you should be wrestling.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/26.jpg

Coach: No, please don't kiss me, please don't, NO!!!!!!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg

Fan: Hey, Bill what did you think of that F-5?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/28.jpg

Orton: dude brush your teeth.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg

Mick: what? I won't get a shot at the title?

This one just needs to be done.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/17.jpg
"Lt. Dan?"
Reputation to anyone who gets the reference.

Forest Gump

Damn, you beat me to it.
Yeah, Conway kinda looks like him, before he lost his legs, but since it's a shot from the waist up I don't think it works. Personally, I was waiting for a gay GI Joe joke.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg
Henry: "I... love you... man....my sweet brownie..."
Goldberg: "Aw wuh huh huh huh..... BUH?"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg

HHH: You mean I HAVEN'T buried you yet?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg

SC: You see, you lay on your back and the ref counts to three.
HBK: And if Hunter does that, people will start watching Raw again?
SC: Yep.
HHH: This is stupid.

*HHH goes to Smackdown and buries everybody as ratings drop and Vince blames the mid carders.*

Thank you... I laughed so hard I forgot I had my nachos in the oven... 'till I smelt smoke...

Here...have a cookie :cool:

And the Nominees for Cork's best of Raw Captions, January 26, are:



http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/08.jpg
A year after it happened, Amy finally called out Lance and Christian to confront them about what happened that day on the highway.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg
It was a cold and shocking blackmail. Chris wanted a title shot, or he'd levitate both HHH and HBK up in the air forever!

Great way to resurrect an old recurring joke. Ha HAH! :)

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/23.jpg
Much to the fans' delight, Jackie Gayda chose this moment to utilize her new "Stacy Kiebler with or without Panties" clap on device. One clap for upskirt, two claps for cold breeze...

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/27.jpg
Goldberg stared intently. If he looked long enough, those squiggly lines might tell him how to spell his first name.