RAW Captions [1/26/04]

[loopydate]

RIC: Okay, okay, I'll admit it. You CAN kick my ass so hard the WWE logo falls off my tights.



After taking advantage of her, Quasimodo took Esmerelda up to his clock tower.



........UH-OH!



Randy Orton: Master Impressionist strikes again, this time doing his "Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade" bit.



The Midcard Revolution had begun. The first hostage had been taken. Now it was time for the leader to call out the oppressor.



Y2J: I was just...uh...reading your shirt.



Teddy was being helpful, counting off the reps Jazz did with her invisible barbells.



LITA: Uh...two! *Looks at hand* Dammit! I was gonna guess four!



Everyone who knew her said that Molly was sweet. Victoria had to find out for herself.



Steven reappeared long enough to tell Victoria "I TOLD you eating too many sweets would give you a toothache!"



HBK: Ever since I got this flesh-eating virus...well...I've lost my smile.



AUSTIN: Pointternees!
JR: BAH GAWD!
KING: They need to stop stocking his dressing room with beer.



CHRIS: Okay. Which one of you do I get to beat?
*Long pause. HHH and HBK then break out laughing.*



This seemed an inappropriate time and an inappropriate pair, but that didn't stop Cupid from firing his Radioactive Purple Arrow.



KANE: Have you done THIS one yet, Hunter?



His question was answered by yet another Invisible Crucifixion.



CONWAY (reading): "Frich sippathighzurs suk?" Ah...the American educational system.



CONWAY: And THAT's for stealing the bathing suit from a 1930s movie star!



The latest round of move restrictions limited all wrestlers not named Hunter, Shawn (NOT including "Sean"), or McMahon to rear chinlocks. Rico tapped out of sheer boredom.



Rico does his "Vince McMahon watching a hoss match" impression.



Even God had to sneak a peek at Jackie's...revelation.



STACY: You know, with my face and legs, and your chest and abs, we could really put something together.
LOOPYDATE: Could I borrow it?



The ensuing bulge in Rico's tights revealed the shocking truth. It wasn't Triple H holding down talent because they made him look bad...it was LANCE STORM holding down talent with bigger endowments!



The ref acted as a translator. No one else in the locker room could understand both gorilla and retard.



REF: I think he said "I want to eat your face."
GOLDBERG: Wuh?
REF: Um..."Uh wuh ee yuh fay!"
GOLDBERG: Buhstuh!



COACH: No, Bull! I swear, it was Booker T who said he didn't like "Night Court!" I loved it! Harry Anderson, John Larroquette... Ah! Put me down!



FAN: Hey, Bill! What's the square root of 121?



MICK: What do you MEAN, my mascara's running?



MICK: What's that, Chairy? Randy said the secret word?

[Corkscrewed]

Flair: "Okay, you felt my breasts. Now I feel yours!"


The dashing Prince Batista swooped in onto the RAW scene, rescuing Princess Jericho, who was being buried, and taking her away to to a Land Far Away.


Orton was a quick student in the Triple H School of Homoerotic Hold-Down Techniques.


Who knew Shaniqua controlled RAW wrestlers as well?


The ref suddenly turned heel by siding with Batista and jamming a giant rod up Jericho's ass.


Jericho was disappointed. Even claiming to have a Lance Storm-sized package failed to impress Trish and get her to like him.


"Check out those Jazz hands!"

OR

With his new Advanced Remote, Teddy Long could make Jazz do the Robot Dance.


A year after it happened, Amy finally called out Lance and Christian to confront them about what happened that day on the highway.


In a rare mistake, Molly badly botches the Widow's Peak.


Steven Richards just couldn't keep it in and burst out loud laughing at Victoria's unfortunate loss of her jaw to Shaniqua (with help from Molly).


The first ever WWE Fellatio Simulation Contest for the World Championship ended in a draw, much to the ire of the fans.


Austin: "Okay, so lemme get this straight. This right here IS Texas, or did I take a wrong turn back on route 98 again?"


It was a cold and shocking blackmail. Chris wanted a title shot, or he'd levitate both HHH and HBK up in the air forever!


Nurse Kane helps Bubba Ray out by patching up his boo-boo and giving it a kiss.


"Mommy! Mommy! The bumblebee stung me!!! "


Kane does his best Goldberg Retarded Facial Expression impersonation.

OR

Shaniqua's RAW invasion continued when she ripped Kane's eyes out.

OR

Someone obviously took that "Got your nose" gag a bit to far when they went for Kane's eyeballs.


After this week's roster meeting, all wrestlers now had to stop and actually salute the new statue commemorating HHH and HBK's great match a few weeks ago on RAW when they got to the ring.


Yeah, I know body paint is supposed to be sexy because you're naked but you still covered, but putting it on Rico is just... disturbing.


Ever the optimistic, Rico still had time to play one handed patty cake with the Invisible Man while stuck in a chinlock.


I guess when the Genie asked him what he wanted, Rico said "short and thick" as opposed to "long and slender."


Jackie was going to go all the way until the female version of the hold-down aura, controlled by Stephanie, dropped down and smacked her in the head.


In these tough times, not only did the work of holding up the glass ceiling fall onto the women, but they were required to grin and bear it too.


Much to the fans' delight, Jackie Gayda chose this moment to utilize her new "Stacy Kiebler with or without Panties" clap on device. One clap for upskirt, two claps for cold breeze...


The chemical reaction of both men's halitosis resulted in the untimely death of yet another WWE employee (the ref).


The ref rushed to his position. Now that these two were locked together, they had only seconds to get the Sky Wrench to pick them BOTH up and hurl them into the river!


Coach finds out the hard way that Goldberg had really been taken over by Shang Tsung.


Goldberg stared intently. If he looked long enough, those squiggly lines might tell him how to spell his first name.


Orton: "Dude... Shawn's pimple was MUCH worse."


A wise veteran, Mick had learned to use a steel chair to shield his eyes from HHH's blinding ego.

[Fryza]

Ric: I'M A MIME!



Dave: ..I have to HOLD you up, CARRY your ass, AND get another crappy gimmick. And what do you get? An angle with a blow up doll. I hate you.
Jericho: At least you get paid!
Dave: I do?!



This was Orton's first time receiving the Tong Ball Graber of Doom, made famous by midgets testing it on Al Snow.



Randy: I dance on your face!



Jericho showed us his amazing acting skills by not only showing his "Oh" face, but doing his best AHHNOLD impression.



Jericho: Would you say, you botched, ONE THOUSAND PROMOS?

(Rep to the reference catcher.)



George and Wheezy Jefferson make their WWE debute.



Lita tried her best to do the "Version 1" taunt.



Molly: HEART! RIPP-A!
Victoria: ...ow ow ow...jaw...ow...OW...WRONG BODY PART!



Stevie: You can't see her...



Seriously, haven't I made a caption for this picture last month?!



Austin: TONIGHT...It'll be HBK versus HHH...for the Undisputed HunterTitle....in this ring....in the FIRST EVER...FINAL FANTASY TEN-TWO IN A CAGE MATCH!
Crowd & JR: WHAT?!
Austin: *stunner*



Chris was handed the mic and just stared at Hunter and Shawn. Suddenly, it hit him.

Chris: HA! HAHAHA! I HAVE THE MIC! I HAVE THE MAIN EVENT AT WMXX! HAHAHA!
Hunter: You're fired.
Chris: HAHAha...ha..huh...oh..DAMNIT!



Kane didn't like being called a "House." Kane wasn't very bright either.



After nailing the Diamond Cutter, Kane rolls onto his knees and looks right at the crowd.

Kane: BOOM!

Suddenly, the question arose. Was it Shane that killed off Kane's heat, the writers, or Kane's stupidity?



Kane suddenly realized he wasn't wearing any pants.



Rob: JUDO CHOP!

And with that, Conway's "Wimp Lo" gimmick had begun.



Conway: OW WTF! REF, HE'S BITING ME!
Ref: That's enough Mar...err...Rico..



Ref: Hey, you okay?
Rico: Just *cough* peachy.
Rob: Bite me motherf*cker?!
Rico: *garggle*



Rico one-uped Rob's Wimp Lo gimmick, with a "Metreosexual" Nazi gimmick.



Today's WWE RAW was brought to you in part by the letter A!



In a surprise heel turn, "A" was savagely attacked from behind, and RAW was now brought to you by the letter "W".



Stacy "Right Angle" Keibler exits the ring in gimmick fashion.



Bill: YOU'RE NEXT!
Mark: No, YOU'RE A HOMO!
Bill: ...What?
Ref: *stunner*
Both: *no sell*
JR: BAWH GAWD WHAT AN INTENSE UNPRETTIER! FFX2 BBQ SAUCE STUNNER!



Either this is a crappy bear hug or the worst clothesline I've may or may not have seen in my life. I think the ref is thinking on the same lines...



As apparent by Coach's face, Goldberg is the TRUE face of fear.



Bill: You wouldn't like me when I'm talented...

OR

Bill: They do whatever I tell them too.



Orton: Mick...please....stop touching...me there....



Mick demonstrates how his hair cushions impact.

[Eunos]

Kane became the first cruicifiction to the invisible cross.

[Nowhere Man]

This image makes me too ****ing angry to do captions this week.

Flair, "Oh yeah, work it Chris, the camera is your best freind....Oh yeah there it is, Perfect..... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."



Jericho, "Okay Dave, ready for the sunset flip."
Batista, "ERRRR, Spinebuster, okay."




Ref, "...so let me get this straight, Greenland is ice and Iceland is green.
Orton, "Yeah pretty confusing isn't it."






Orton went a little overboard when he got to, 'This little piggy had none'


Jericho, "......and walla, your push is gone."
Trish, "Wow, how do you do that."
Jericho, "Magic."
Trish, "Can I try."
Jericho, "Well you have to ask HHH, he taught me that trick."



I guess Teddy should of checked the batteries on the device he implanted in Jazz's brain that gives her a personality.




Austin (off camera), '...see you can move it in circles."
Lita, "I know Steve, it's opposable."
Austin, "You heard about this too."




Stevie watched on in exitement as Molly Holly was the final competitor in the official, "Bob for HHH's apples" contest.


While no one was actually able to sucessfully "Bob" for HHH's apples, Michaels was declared the winner for undoubtingly giving the most effort.



After hearing how well Shawn did in the contest, Austin tells him to "Get back down there and try my apples on for size."



Benoit showed up from Smackdown to explain his digust for the contest while HHH wondered how many times he could bury Benoit without making it seem to obvious.




Wrestlers were told by Vince to stop and smile for the cameras after hiiting their finishing maneuvers.


The crowd and Kane wondered what the hell all that noise was backstage. We would later learn that Goldberg was trying to learn how to use a fax machine.


Conway, "HMM, I thought Vince told O'Haire to set up his lemonade stand in section 45.


And now let's join "Wrestler's say the Darndest Things" in progress:

Goldberg, "How many pieces of chicken are in a six piece chicken meal?"
Henry, "Eight"
Goldberg, "I don't know, I'm asking you."



Coach is shocked when Goldberg reveals he pulled the briefcase



Goldberg, "Okay Donald's a duck, Mickey's a mouse, Pluto's dog, what the hell is Goofy?"

Originally Posted by loopydate Rico does his "Vince McMahon watching a hoss match" impression.

Okay this is the Caption of the Century. I was laughing so hard I started to cry. Loopy, you should put this in your sig.

[AareDub]

Flair: Okay, you're right. You ARE the King of the Electric Slide.


Teddy Long introduces his newest stable member, Ru Paul.


Hey Molly, I'm gonna kick.... Oh look, a birdy!


Buh Buh: Owww my tooth!
Kane: Don't worry, I used to be a doctor.


Stacy and Jackie found out there wouldn't be any FFX2 commercials during Raw tonight so they decided to act it out on their own
Both: ".... forward is the only way my heart will go..."

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by Fryza Jericho: Would you say, you botched, ONE THOUSAND PROMOS? (Rep to the reference catcher.)

How many promos would you say you botched? *Waves arm, whooshing sound* Would you say...one thousand promos?

[Fryza]

Originally Posted by loopydate How many promos would you say you botched? *Waves arm, whooshing sound* Would you say...one thousand promos?

I love you.

*reps*

[Innovator]

Batista: Hey Ric, I found a loose mid carder trying to free himself, can I keep him?



WWE logo nipple piercings are all the rave



Austin: So I said rectum? Damn near killed em!



Kane: Did I leave the iron on?



It was at this moment in history when all matter was consumed into a black hole called Henry vs. Goldberg



Coach: OH MY GOD!!...you can talk!!!!



See what happens when you steal Billy's kitty

[Savio]

Goldberg: I'm gonna spear you!
Coach: You'll also job to brock!
Goldberg:

[The Tokefatha]

REF: I am the Masked Ref bwahahahahaha!


Batista decided to show that Americans were nice and loving in front of the tourists behind him.


REF: Hey! Who took my beer?
Orton: It wasn't me.


REF: I'm melting I'm MELTING!


The crowd was speechless as Jericho transformed into Edge.


The censors made up their minds and decided to censor the male nipples.


Jazz began to cry when she tried to do the YMCA dance and Teddy decided to point and laugh.


Officer: How many beers have you had?
Lita:1....2....this many.

This is my first attempt at captions.

[Shake]

Ric: Up above, down below... YOU'RE TOO SLOW!


Lillian Garcia began rehearsals for her part in the new King Kong.


RVD helps get an itch that's been bothering Orton for days. "No, below the bag... AHH! SWEET RELIEF!"


In return, Orton tries to aid RVD's recent hearing problems.


Jericho had managed to slay a huge beast, but was having difficulty carrying it back to the ranch.


When Trish least expects it, Jericho prepares a slap for messing him around.


The immature Jazz tries to make sexual words out of the Titantron. "IT SAYS JIZ! HAHA!"


Molly didn't appreciate Lita's tips on sexual pleasure.


Molly showed Lita her more S&M approach, which Lita could hardly watch.


"Stevie, it hurts there... stop slapping it! Stop it!"


HHH and HBK play the 'Guess the celebrity stuck to your head' game. "Is it a male?"


Austin was running out of ideas for distracting people for a Stunner. "Down there! A spider!"


Benoit makes his claim as HBK and HHH hold the annual "So you want to be champion?" interviews.


Kane had figured out a way to quickly win matches: drug overdoses.


The crowd were growing restless: Kane had been on his knees for several minutes thinking of the next spot.


D-Von put a stop to it by biting Kane.


Rob decides to give himself an eye test. "Better... or worse?"


Rob tries to pull off the black ferret that landed on Rico's cheek.


In an attempt to desensitise him to homosexuality, Rob rubs his dick on Rico for 3 hours.


Rico had to help Rob in declaring black power.


With a flash of her tits, Jackie managed to wake the huge bright-eyed robot lurking in the darkness.


Randy Savage watches from the front row and wonders what might have been if he was a little younger.


Jackie clapped Stacy's superb display of farting.


If Michael Jackson had been a wrestler: Before and After.


As they tie-up, Henry suddenly acts as peacemaker when Goldberg spots Vince Russo in the crowd.


Coach was going to beat Bill the only way possible - getting Rita from the Power Rangers to make him GROOOW!


In the middle of another sparkling promo, Bill stops for a moment to try and remember the correct Shakespeare quote. "I honour'd him, I lov'd him; and will weep my date of life out, for his sweet life's loss..."


Orton wondered if Foley's skin would peel off if he pulled the little red strap all the way around Mick's body.


A savage attack on Mick by The Thing from the Addams Family.

[Savio]

Lita holds up the shocker sign to Sstacey.

[loopydate]

What happened to Good Ol JG? This guy was the Next Big Thing caption-wise, but he's been MIA for the last two weeks.

[El Santo]

Flair: "Aaaaand... jazz hands!"



You're never too old for somebody to give you a burp.



Maybe it was just him, but Randy thought that mid-match was just so darned inappropiate for RVD to light up a fat one.



Randy Orton: "Damn you, RVD... why don't you sell?!?!"



The Walls of Jericho were going well until Batista started singing "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me..."



Trish: "Um, Chris... you can put it away now."



Even Teddy Long was impressed by how much weight Queen Latifah had lost.



Lita's promo stopped cold when she realized, to her dismay, that the next line was horribly smudged.



Molly: "So you've been on the Internet, have you?!?! Brock says he'll see you in hell!"



Victoria: "Is my breath really that bad?"
Stevie: "No. NO! That's just Molly. She says things. Now close your mouth, honey."



After sustaining injuries from the previous night, HBK had to agree... Stephanie was a wildcat in bed.



Austin: "Hey, look... a penny! Well, are you going to pick up or what?"



Chris: "...and on 'Smackdown!', we didn't have announcers that screamed 'puppies!' every five minutes!"
HBK: "Impossible!"
Chris: "And cruiserweights had their own titles!"
Hunter: "I grow weary of your lies!"



After Kane sees the state of Bubba's teeth, he was incredibly grateful that he was rid of the old dentist gig.



Kane: "Wait a minute... this guy's black! How in the hell is he brothers with Bubba?"



The question screwed with Kane's mind until he gradually went insane. Here he's convinced that he's really RVD.



Rob, Rob, Rob... everyone loves the People's Eyebrow, but lifting it up with your finger doesn't count.



The Ref was happy. It was all going according to plan. The wrestlers were distracted. Now was the time to steal Rico's boots.



The Ref and Rico were all set to play pattycake, but Rob Conway had to go and ruin it all!



Ref: "Oh my God! There's five of them! ... Oh, wait, that's Conway's hand."



The aliens had arrived, and they demanded that Earth give them two good reasons why our pathetic world shouldn't be destroyed. Jackie sprung into action.



Brian "Spanky" Kendrick and Shannon Moore make their RAW debuts.



Stacy: *giggle* "You naughty boy! And you said you were gay."



Mark: "Don't look now, Bill, but ... um... your head is on fire."



Mark: "You're going to Smackdown!? Oh, God, please don't let me be the only no-talent uppercarder on the show! *sob*"
Goldberg: "You're ... not ... a..."



Realizing that there was no way to beat Goldberg in a fair fight, Coach pulls a Mike Tyson.



Goldberg: "Aw geez... I did leave my oven on."



Orton: "Someday... when my life has passed me by... I'll look around and wonder why you were always there for me.... Take it away, mick!"



He may be one of the biggest names in wrestling, but Mick was never too big to help put away the chairs at the end of every show.

[Fryza]

Originally Posted by loopydate What happened to Good Ol JG? This guy was the Next Big Thing caption-wise, but he's been MIA for the last two weeks.

Good good...gives people more attention to mine captions.

Loopy if you don't put that caption in your sig, let me put that in mine. That was so funny.

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon Loopy if you don't put that caption in your sig, let me put that in mine. That was so funny.

I did. You're still welcome to if you want. Free publicity = Good.

[FourFifty]

Flair was just as shocked as everyone else. No one knew how Y2J’s hand caught on fire.


No Dave, this isn’t what Vince meant when he thought you could carry talent in a match.


At least Randy thought that the ref’s new laser vision was cool, but with a laser like that, Randy just KNEW that ref was overcompensating.


Orton: No one, and I mean NO ONE touches the “little legend.”
RVD: Dude, you so shouldn’t admit it is little on TV.


Chirs was laughing just like everyone else after Orton blotched the RKO.


Jericho: Yeah Trish, I know what you’re thinking… You’re wondering where my pants went!
Trish: No, I’m wondering when you got the WWE logo tattooed on your nipple, and where the draft is coming from.


And THAT’S how you point to someone’s elbow!


Lita learns that it’s a little harder to point at your own elbow.


Molly was clearly hired by Vince to stop people from messing with Sean O’Haire. With Lita working the controls to lower it, Victoria was bound to unlock the cage.


No, Molly is not mad because she lost the match. She’s nauseated with the stench. Stevie laughs with the knowledge that since Spanky left no one has cleaned out Sean O’Haire’s cage.


Okay, I’ve had enough of these damn budget cutbacks! Now they’re having the wrestlers regurgitate smaller items to save on packing!!!


Austin: Triple H, I need the cash you owe me, now.
HHH: But Steve! I don’t have the money now. You know I’m good for it.
Austin: I said now.
HHH: But I don’t have it now!
Austin: Why the hell not?
HHH: Because I don’t sell anything.
HBK: It's true.
Austin: Don’t change the subject.


HHH: Hey! Benny! Guess what! You get to clean out Sean’s cage!
Beniot: I’m in the midst of a main event push! Why do I have to clean out the cage?
HHH: Because I’m fucking Vince’s daughter, HBK is my buddy, and The Ultimate Dragon is too busy selling Evolution shirts on the corner.
Beniot: That’s Ultmio Dragon.
HBK: Get up there, cage wench!
Beniot: Shut up Shawn. This doesn’t concern you.
HHH: That’s right! Stay out of this Shawn. No Chris, get up there, cage wench!


Bubba: I’m telling you! OUCH! IT’S NOT A MASK!!!! ARRRRRGRGHGEH!!!
Kane: But you fell in the net! Scooby said the bad guy always wears a mask and always gets caught in the net! Now where’s my push!?!?!?


A few inches short of a knee drop… and D-Von STILL oversold it!


Alas, Kane stood, confused… If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands… On one hand he is going to be put in a feud with The Undertaker, but on the other hand Kane being afraid of the Undertaker will ruin the whole “Monster” thing, thus, letting the thief who took his push run father away… Should Kane Clap….

[FourFifty]

Try as he might, Conway couldn’t find Waldow that night.


Conway had to hold Rico down. If he wouldn’t of, Rico would of started riverdancing with the ref.


Ref: No Rico, you’re doing it all wrong. If you’re going to do the “stuck in a box” bit you need your legs in the box.
Rico: I’m sorry, I don’t know much about boxes.
Conways: *snickers*
Ref: Wait… Is that a joke?


In mid match Rico did his remediation of Limp Bizkit’s “Rollin’.”


No caption here… I just really, really, really wish that I were the cameraman on the other side of the ring.


For the first time in wrestling history the “You Sold Out” chant wasn’t out of anger.


Albeit he has become a little weird, lost some of his mass, and has become more flamboyant than ever, it’s a good thing to know that the Warrior is still straight.


All the ref could do is think…
*Oh god… All it’s going to be is a shoulder block, a bear hug, a spear, a press slam into the power slam, a jackhammer, and a lariat… I should of brought my gameboy to the ring…*


Mark Henry and the ref shocked the world as they hit the 3D on Goldberg to become The New Dudley Boyz.


The Coach really shouldn’t be so shocked that Goldberg didn’t sell the 3D.


Goldberg (thinking): *Hmmm… I could hit the Coach with a neckbreaker drop, or maybe a tornado punch. Maybe I’ll just stalk him for a while, and when he gets up give him a hanging vertical suplex, or a standing drop kick… How about a double underhook suplex followed up with a diving elbow or… Nah, I’ll just use the spear.*


Foley: Now this, Randy, is how to cut a promo, damn it! Now stop wasting time and say something intelligent on the mic!
Randy:………………i just pooed in my tights……..…………


Mick was out manned when the ninja’s came storming down the ramp, and he didn’t have a weapon to fight them with… Until Sean O’Haire dropped one through the bars of his cage.
Mick: It’s Ninja Ass Kicking Time!

[FourFifty]

Uberprops to El Santo!!!! I can't decide which one of your captions I should point out to show that you sir, are the man!

[Corkscrewed]

^ Agreed. He's been on a roll since returning from a little rust break.

[FourFifty]

Monday! Monday! Monday!
It’s time for the biggest waste of time in pro wrestling history!
One is a former Olympic athlete who won a contest held by the Governor of California!
The other was the biggest man in the industry until people woke up!
It’s Hoss Mania! Mania! Mania!
Only on… uhhh… ‘cuse, wake up…
Is Hoss Mania THAT boring?

Hello, and welcome to another Monday Night Raw Edition of The Bad News, and The Good News! I’ll be your host, Always450, but there is no host at the bar!

Frist…
The Bad News…

Chris Beniot WILL be buried.

At his current rate Rico will become the guy replacing the urinal mints in the rest room due to misuse.

Batista still only knows 3 moves.

The Good News…

Need I say more?

[Vega]

Victoria flees the ring, now with a permanant case of cockjaw from "performing" for HHH to keep her job. Meanwhile, Steven is pleased to be next.

[Rock Bottom]

Did you know that Geico handles claims within a 24 hour period and can save you up to 15% on your car insurance?

Edit: Thanks.

[Hired Hitman]

[img] address [/img]

[PorkSoda]

Goldberg: (As Wendy Testeberger) Hi Coach!

Coach: BLAHH! AH! BLAH BLAH!



Henry: YOU STOLE MY JACKET...

Goldberg: NO I DID No..

Henry: YOU STOLE

Goldberg: I DIDNT STEAL IT...

Henry: Yes YOU D

Goldberg: VINCE TOOK IT

Ref: Excuse me, may I borrow a pencil?

[Sephiroth]

Flair: I didn't meen to touch you, but your long hair and that tight ass, you look alot like Trish.



Batista: Me take you home, Sweet love we make.





Orton tried to learn RVD a new dancing move.



HHH thought he was home again, sitting on the toilet.



Y2J: Your eyes...they are...really big.





HBK: I still think your nose is big.
HHH: Can't we talk this over in my room.



AUSTIN: The one who first kiss my shoes will be the new champion.




Chris: And then the chicken told the cow, that he can't fly.
HHH & HBK: So this is why they send him to RAW



Kane: What does my hand smells like?




Kane pretended to be Goldberg.



Conway: YMCA!, YMCA!.





Goldberg: dawawa Booker T.
Henry: Oeoe, Kissie, kissie
(olright i got nothing)





REF: Guys, i don't want to disturb your moment here, but you should be wrestling.



Coach: No, please don't kiss me, please don't, NO!!!!!!



Fan: Hey, Bill what did you think of that F-5?



Orton: dude brush your teeth.



Mick: what? I won't get a shot at the title?

[Jeremy Christian]

This one just needs to be done.


"Lt. Dan?"
Reputation to anyone who gets the reference.

[Innovator]

Originally Posted by Jeremy Christian This one just needs to be done. "Lt. Dan?" Reputation to anyone who gets the reference.

Forest Gump

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by jbone829 Forest Gump

Damn, you beat me to it.
Yeah, Conway kinda looks like him, before he lost his legs, but since it's a shot from the waist up I don't think it works. Personally, I was waiting for a gay GI Joe joke.

[Corkscrewed]

Henry: "I... love you... man....my sweet brownie..."
Goldberg: "Aw wuh huh huh huh..... BUH?"

[Blue Demon]

HHH: You mean I HAVEN'T buried you yet?

[The Highlander]

SC: You see, you lay on your back and the ref counts to three.
HBK: And if Hunter does that, people will start watching Raw again?
SC: Yep.
HHH: This is stupid.

*HHH goes to Smackdown and buries everybody as ratings drop and Vince blames the mid carders.*

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by Sascha HHH: You mean I HAVEN'T buried you yet?

Thank you... I laughed so hard I forgot I had my nachos in the oven... 'till I smelt smoke...

[Blue Demon]

Originally Posted by Always450 Thank you... I laughed so hard I forgot I had my nachos in the oven... 'till I smelt smoke...

Here...have a cookie

[El Santo]

And the Nominees for Cork's best of Raw Captions, January 26, are:




A year after it happened, Amy finally called out Lance and Christian to confront them about what happened that day on the highway.


It was a cold and shocking blackmail. Chris wanted a title shot, or he'd levitate both HHH and HBK up in the air forever!

Great way to resurrect an old recurring joke. Ha HAH!


Much to the fans' delight, Jackie Gayda chose this moment to utilize her new "Stacy Kiebler with or without Panties" clap on device. One clap for upskirt, two claps for cold breeze...


Goldberg stared intently. If he looked long enough, those squiggly lines might tell him how to spell his first name.