Say I had this DVD, roight?
 

and I wanted to send some of it to my mate, roight? Like, only a few minutes of it, roight?

And I was all like 'HOW THE FARK DO I DO THAT', and he was all like "JUST MAKE THE BIT INTO AN MPEG FILE...JOISUS"

how the fuck would i go about doing that :D

I think you'd have to rip the whole dvd to your hard drive and convert it with a tool like TMPGEnc.

http://www.tmpgenc.net/e_main.html

Wait for Downward Spiral to show up and give you an infinitely easier way of doing it.