SmackDown Captions (02/12/04)
 

Okay, I have the time to work the HTML codes, don’t have time to start the captions, however, the pics are up at 6:00pm,Cali time.
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Back in Japan, gimps were not only legal, but encouraged.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/02.jpg

REF: Excessive celebration, 15 yard penalty
Rey: What the ****?

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Chavo: That's not Rey! It's a MAN baby!
Rey: Seriously, what the **** is going on here?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/07.jpg

It appears that some of the wrestlers took "watch out for eachother in the ring" a little to literally, as they were checking eachother for prostate cancer.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/11.jpg

Holly was enraged at the new sign stating "talent only" instead of the old "wrestlers only" sign, thus the reason security had to remove him from the building.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg

In hopes of gaining the talent of Eddie Guererro, Brock started listening to mariachi music.

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Brock: Sour snagglepusses started stirring sweet sporatic spaghetti swirls in swahili!

Eddie: That ain't nothin, Brock.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg

As a last restort, Eddie was forced to use his penis as an illegal weapon.

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The WWE had it's first ever "random fan deathmatch"

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Try as he might, Big Show couldn't grasp the concept of the Atkin's Diet.

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Chavo: I'LL GET YOU STEVEN RICHARDS!

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The WWE went a little far in their "escape the rules" campaign when they had the record holder for the world's largest piece of shit come to Smackdown to show it off.

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Ref: So then she said "Ham? more like a hamBURGER!! haha get it?

Heh, it's not even over yet
Edit: fuc</>k, my mouse jammed up and my captions are gone, redoing them

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpgBig show tries out for evolution
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Holly after hearing from vince "I think you should break your neck again....Its for the best"
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For reasons unknown Heyman was upset with nidia and made her give A-Train a bikini wax

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/01.jpg>
Tajiri's face lit up with joy as the ref helped him deliver his first child.

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Rey: "WTF is Shad?"

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Chavo thought he was going to punch Rey, but was blind-sided by the large fist as Rey cast the spell, "Bigby's Crushing Hand."
(Rep for reference)

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After discovering that it was Chavo Sr. who shi</>t on his head...

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He took an even bigger shi</>t on Chavo Sr.'s head, much to the dismay of Chavo Jr.

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Scotty: "Hey! That's my arm!"

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Scotty: "AND MY RECTUM!"

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Hardcore: "Usually your pranks are great Rhyno, but gluing me to the meaning of 'jobber' is unacceptable."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg>This man is a jobber.

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Rhyno: "I wouldn't do that if I were you..."

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Hardcore was restrained by officials after attacking a fan that held up a sign reading, "1-2-3-4 Life."

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Lesnar: "Well cocaine is a hell of a drug. Heh heh."

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Brock tries to convince Eddie that he is really from Finland, to secure his chances of a title shot at NWO.

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Well Bubba was my best good friend, I couldn't just leave him out there the way he was...

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Worst. Bronco Buster. Ever.

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Bradshaw asked the ref how many pushes he had left.

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Richards got caught copping a feel on Nidia when he forgot to take off his jacket.
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Nidia didn't seem to mind, and embraced Richards in a passionate kiss.

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Nidia grimaced as a cat hit a shooting star press out of nowhere!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg><*Spank Spank Spank*
Torrie: Put that thing away. It's too small.

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^Ric Flair, eat your heart out. You have a new man-boob contender. And he owns a very large monkey.

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Lesnar taunted Eddie by holding him up against the glass ceiling.

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Show: Noogie noogie noogie!

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The ref picked the worst possible time to do his Karate Kid impression.

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Big Show does his impression of Triple H selling a cross-body block.

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Angle looked on in shock as John Cena began to morph into The Incredible Hulk. The Hulk didn't like it when endangered species were KO'd by chairshots.

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A fan recognized Angle, and as soon as he heard the word "child support," he quickly blocked his face with the chair.

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This is the last thing Eddie should be doing with the ref's back turned...

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Apparently, Brock picked the wrong time to approach Eddie, and he just let himself go, too close to climax.

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Eddie then picked up the nearest unconscious body and left for the back with a smile on his face.

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Scott Steiner couldn't help but smile. This new "Asian Jobber" costume was AWESOME!

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...Unfortunately, he didn't expect the surprise return of a disguised Stevie Ray.

"Raise the Roof, Sucka!"

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Chavo: *gasp! Old Man Marley!?
Rey: And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

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The fans were pissed, and rightfully so. Everyone knew that wasn't the REAL Christopher Daniels!

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Chavo Jr: I won't Stand for this. I'll find out who did this, and then I'll Deliver justice!
Chavo Sr: Dammit, son, I'm not Edward James Olmos

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Radioshack's new remote control referees were cool enough, but that antenna was just so distracting.

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Scotty's reverse victory roll ends in tragedy.

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Sadly, the Holly/Rhyno match never happened, due to the crazed fan with the bazooka at ringside.

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WWE's new People-Who-Suck Detector was incredible!

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Rhyno: Jeez, man, what the hell is wrong with you?
Ref: I said pull my finger, or you're disqualified!
Rhyno: Dude, what th--
Ref: PULL IT! PULL IT, DAMN YOU!!!!!

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The rWo (ref World order) made its debut with the saddest Northern Lights Suplex in history.

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Vince: Note to self. Never let Terry Gilliam write an episode of Smackdown again.

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Brock:...so basically, what I'm saying is this picture is way too bland for Nowhere Man to write anything funny.

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Bored with Bradshaw's match, the ref zones out and starts playing the Snake game on his cell phone.

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After what happened to Bradshaw, the message became painfully clear: the ring wasn't taking no shit from NOBODY anymore!

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Tajiri can't help but smile when he sees Sean setting up to preform his weekly juggling act


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Rey signaled for his pattened move, but the ref quickly stopped him and told him to watch as Sean prepares to make a "Cat" dissapear from Smackdown



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You know, it would of been a lot easier if Chavo just used a pair of tweasers


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Letting fans take part in the WWE experience is one thing, but letting them take short cuts through the ring to get to a vending machine when the cameras are rolling is a whole other story.


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Chavo can't believe the effect a backstage Hardcore Holly Promo has on some people.


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Holly: You're still wrestling for this show?
Rhyno: You're still wrestling for this company?


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Ref: PIGS!!! You're all PIGS!!! (rep for anyone who tells me what movie that's from)


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Paul Heyman had convinced the ref's to join him in his knew Dictatorship gimmick

REF: You, Corkscrewed Moonsault, NOW!!!!


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Holly was outraged when he found out that he had just been Punk'ed by the WWE. No wonder he never had gotten a single check since his comeback.



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Due to a tight budget the WWE had to drop their Theme Music department, but instead you get live Mexican style renditions of you're favorite superstar's themes every week on Smackdown.


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Brock: A plane crashes between the United Staes and Canada, where were the survivos buried?

Eddie: Survivors can't be buried Holmes

Brock: Dammit, I can't believe you got that. That's it, I QUIT!!!!!!!



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Sheldon just informed Bradshaw that not a single person has completely read his book yet.



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In the second installment of the WWE'S new hardcore porn show, Sable and Tori are now taking calls for the live phone sex segment.


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Big Show does his impression of Goldberg at the ATM Machine.


I'll do the rest tommorrow.

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UH-OH

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Rhyno selling the ref's hulk up


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The ref celebrated his victory by posing

Heard/seen it in two movies.

Midnight Express
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg>

As if the submission hold wasn't painful enough, Shelton tortured Bradshaw with tales from his stay on Velocity.

Shelton:....and then, they made us job to Orlando Jordan!
Bradshaw: No, it's not true! STOP!!!
Shelton: And all that after they decided our matches with the Guerreros didn't get as much heat as Rikishi's ass!

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Having dumped Noble, Nidia became the full-time valet for Cousin It.

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Nidia was ever so grateful to the tiny little fairies who had helped her out.

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Just like Megaman, Nidia had an interchangable arm that she could switch with all sorts of cool weapons. However, the Shit-Covered Log was nowhere near as cool as the old Buster Cannon.

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Not a caption, but between the two of them, there's more plastic than my whole G.I. Joe collection.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>

Show does his world-famous impression of the entire Jackson family, complete with Michael's crotch grabbing, Janet's nipple slipping, and Tito's wondering-where-the-hell-his-career-went.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg>

Brock tried to catch him, but Eddie "The Human Cannonball" Guerrero just whizzed right past him and into the fifth row.

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No one was going to buy the Big Show as "the New Chris Benoit," especially if he can't even do the Crossface right.

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Lex Luger returns to WWE, much to John Cena's dismay.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/25.jpg>

Show always made it a point to stop and say Grace before eating a midcarder.

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Cena couldn't concentrate on his rapping after Kurt "No Pants" Angle debuted his newest gimmick.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg>

Kurt made the save at the last minute, saving Cena just as Richards set him up for a powerbomb.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg>

Eddie suddenly suffered from a burst of jock-itch right in the middle of his Shawn Michaels impression.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg>

Brock made sure to never try a hurricanrana again.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg>

The sign in the background sort of gave away Luke Skywalker's surprise debut.

I think it was Dogma

Alrighty, my turn… I didn’t read the captions, thus, all jokes are considered mine unless I ripped them off from someone else’s some other time.

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Mysterio’s cammy attire did not turn him into John Cena, much to everyone’s surprise. We could still see him.

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Now the ref was pissed! Right when he wanted a nice cold one, they didn’t let Sean out of his cage.

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Chavo: No! Rey! Keep your mask on! The bulk of the WWE fans have no idea that you lost your mask in WCW and according to Mexican wrestling tradition you should never put it on again!
Rey: Ohhh… the things I’ll do to stay over!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg>
Jorge and Chavo Sr thought affirmative action went a little too far when they were forced to play the two Hispanic stooges.
Meanwhile, Flair can’t believe they fell for that sh</>it.

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Chavo Jr: No Jorge! You went for the eye poke when you needed to do the silly slap!

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Scotty wanted to help! He knew Shaniqua’s monster needed an arm!

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Well it’s no wonder they banned the piledriver!

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If you look at the back of Holly’s tights you’ll see a little symbol that looks kinda like this.
^
Why is that there? They didn’t want him to botch while putting on his tights.

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Even Thing mocked Holly when he couldn’t do the version 1.0 taunt.

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Ref: Get me a beer!
Rhyno: But I’m in mid match! Can’t I finish the match?
Ref: But I’m thirsty NOOOOOOW!
Rhyno: ….doesn’t he know I’m in a bloody fight…
Ref: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!?
Rhyno: Wouldn’t you go for a Budweiser light?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/11.jpg>
Holly: :'( This shouldn’t be! *Sniff* I mean… I’m a no talent hack… and he’s in a cage…

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For some reason Brock didn’t understand that John Cena’s gimmick only worked with freestyle rapping…

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Eddie is disgusted. I mean, everyone knew to do the fire breathing thing that Ricky Steamboat did used a lit torch, not a burnt branch.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/14.jpg>
Get your very own Shelton Benjamin accordion from WWE ShopZone…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/15.jpg>
Or your very own Bradshaw harp!!!
(strings and in-ring talent not included)

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg>
Nick Patrick: No Bradshaw, what you didn’t know is that not everyone makes your salary, and they can’t afford to put $3,000 away every year. And setting up a savings account just for savings and not using it in an emergency? I mean, that is a good idea, but so is communism! Your book didn’t even begin to touch on inflation, and you talk about football in Pisswater, Texas too much. There were a few good thoughts in your book, but there were also a few in Hitler’s book… And the title of your book, <u>Have More Money Now</u>… If a fan wants to have more money now, don’t buy the book! Face it, you’re a no talent hack!
Bradshaw: You don’t have to change the subject to my in-ring ability!!!
Nick Patrick: I wasn’t!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/17.jpg>
<I>*in the editing room*</I> Vince: Okay… hmmmm… there is something wrong with this card… Okay, delete any footage of Sean O’Haire and The Ultramart Dragon, take off the video tribute to The Cat and Kanyon… replace them with “Rapping with Nidia & Mike The Shadow”… Use a few ring techs as back up singers…. Yes! Now if this doesn’t increase ratings, I don’t know what will!

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Another failed “You Can’t See Me” for the SmackDown DVD blooper reel.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg>
The Show… Lesnar… A Train… Matt Morgan… No Sean O’Haire… No Kanyon… No Ultimo Dragon… The utter lack of talent has finally made the universe collapse around SmackDown.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg>
This month in A-Boy, an interview with A-Train’s lovers.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>
And on the Titan Tron every single caption from the TPWW.net message board was shown.
Show: I don’t get it…
Brock: Uhh… yeah… that’s funny… no, I don’t get it either…
Show: Hey, is that you with glasses?
Brock: Internet? KILL!!!!!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg>
<I>*Lesnar’s thoughts- Okay… I read all of the captions… and the ones where I’m holding someone above my head they talk about holding up talent… Yes, Eddie is very talented… holding up talent… I still don’t get it…*</I>

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Cena: Yo Show! Could ya please put on some right guard or somethin’, dawg? You reek!
Show: Hey, Mark said my stank smell good!
Cena: You listened to a guy who ate a sh</I>it sandwich?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/24.jpg>
This was the last Fisherman’s suplex that the WWE allowed.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/25.jpg>
Show: Wait… no…. it shouldn’t be warm… shouldn’t be squishy….
Cena: Thought no one would notice with how much crap was in the ring already…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/26.jpg>
And now Cena makes an oral sex joke in his freestyle rhymes for the hard of hearing.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg>
Now it wasn’t the chair that Cena feared, it was Kurt impaling Cena on his knife shaped arm.

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Eddie was overcompensating. With the photon torpedo ready behind him, and God on his side, the death ray was a little too much.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg>
Eddie’s ass has a bright idea!
(‘k, I’m reaching now)

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg>
And the fans dreams were shattered Triple H ran down Eddie and Cena…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>
Sable: So we all know opposites attract, and I think A-Boy made a good choice in who should represent the WWE in their jerkit mag.
Torrie: Yes, opposites do indeed attract, I couldn’t agree more. I also think A-Boy made a good choice in who should represent the WWE in their jerkit mag.
Sable: Yes, opposites do indeed attract. Nothing is similar with two blonde bombshells. We have nothing in common.
Torrie: We’re totally different Blonde Bombshells.
Show: When the hell did they legalize human cloning?
Lesnar: I don’t know, but I think they would of done more than the double mint twins masturbation fantasy with steam cell research.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg>
Brock: Faster! Louder! Faster! Louder! Belty wants loud and faster and louder music!
Belty: Kill me… please, for the love of god, let me be reunited with Buddy Rogers…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg>
The ref thought a visual aid would help Rhyno find out where his career is headed.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/01.jpg>

Rey's voice: "The Ref is a big fat loser! Muah muah muah!"
Ref: "Why you..."
Rey: "No! It's Tajiri! He's moving my lips and using a funny voice, for God's sake!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/02.jpg>

As the Ref prepares to finish of Tajiri with the Worm, Rey entertains the crowd with the YMCA.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/03.jpg>

Chavo: "Now to see you under the mask.... My God! You never were burned at all! All your problems were PSYCHOLOGICAL all this time!"
Rey: "Wrong guy, jackass."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg>

Satan: "I've come to collect the soul that was sold for the shot at the WWE Undisputed Title."
Chavo Sr.: "You've got the wrong Guerrero! I'm Chavo, not Eddie!"
Satan: "Nice try. I've seen Chavo, and he's younger and skinnier, mortal."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg>

Chavo Jr.: "Satan! You fiend! Take my soul instead! Take my.... hey, why the hell are they filming Michael friggin' Cole?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/06.jpg>

Brian "Spanky" Kendrick makes his stunning return as the Kleptomaniac Ref.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/07.jpg>

Scotty: "...I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too. I just love to moralize, when I'm between your thighs..."
Basham: "AAaaggghhhh!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/08.jpg>

Rhyno: "Yes, I am the guy who glued the vase to your head. What are you going to do about it?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg>

Hardcore Holly: The aftermath of being shot in the ass.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg>

It was flattering, yet incredibly creepy, when the ref serenaded Rhyno with a loving rendition of "Honey, You Are My Shining Star".

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/11.jpg>

Holly knew that there were cutbacks, but when he realized he was going to be outsourced to a generic staffing firm... well, that's where he drew the line.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg>

Brock: "Passion? I'll give you PASSION!" *waves baton and sings* "When Spanish eyes are smiling..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/13.jpg>

Sometimes, Brock's chronic halitosis got in the way of a good promo.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/14.jpg>

Bradshaw: "We'll get through this together, man! I'f we make it out alive... we'll get married!"
Shelton: :wtf:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/15.jpg>

When you gotta go, you gotta go...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/01.jpg>
Tajiri couldn't concentrate while Sean was making faces at him...


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/02.jpg>
Lil' HBK makes his debut, unleashing the sweetest Chin Music ever


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/03.jpg>
"and now to remove this protective potato head mask..."


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg>
Jorge: My name is Inigo Montaya, you killed my father, prepare to die
Chavo Sr: STOP SAYING THAT!


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg>
Chavo: OH MY GOD! Somebody killed Cheech!


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/06.jpg>
Basham had to wonder where he went wrong, he was the OVW Champion and now he's jobbing to the WORM


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/07.jpg>
Worst. 69. Ever.


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/08.jpg>
Hardcore: I've been with the company for 10 years
Rhyno: Dude you were on the JOB Squad!
Hardcore: I'm over with the crowd
Rhyno: .....ahahahahahahahahahaha


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg>
Ref: Pull my finger
Hardcore: C'mon Bob....use the force


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg>
Did Vince really have to make signs showing where Hardcore's career is going?


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/11.jpg>
The refs finally decided to have their way with Holly, at least the security guy let them have some privacy


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg>
Minueto debuts to a roaring crowd


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/13.jpg>
Brock: Belty don't listen to him, you're not going anywhere!
Eddie: But people on the net say I'm gonna win on Sunday
Brock: ........them.....


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/14.jpg>
God decides it's time to give Bradshaw his last call


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/15.jpg>
Bradshaw runs and hides in a corner at the sight of talent

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/01.jpg
Things were going well for Tajiri until he looked up and saw the HHH Anvil...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/02.jpg
The new WWE "Guess the Penis Size of the Signholder" game sure was competitive.
Rey: "Shad? His was this long."
Hebner: "No! It was THISSS long!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/03.jpg
Chavo, student of the Isaac Yankem School of Dentistry, certainly had a way with root canals.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg
It took a while, but eventually, Chavo Sr. went snapped at all the people calling him Edward James Olmos.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg
Chavo: "No fair!!! I want to hear the ocean too!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/06.jpg
Charles "Got your nose" Robinson was starting to get really annoying.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/07.jpg
It's never pretty when you see a Worm crawling up someone's anus.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/08.jpg
Holly: "Hey... um... I'm not sure how to say this... but you think you can glue some talent onto me?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg
Holly: "I... can... almost... grab it!"
Rhyno: "NO! It's mine!"
Mighty Hand of Reason: "Oh no you don't! Shame on you for trying to steal another Push Orb!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg
Corderas: "YOU! Gimme an arm wax!"
Rhyno: "WTF???"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/11.jpg
Held back by the blue-shirted Smark Enforcement Troop, Holly cursed as the Push Orb floated away.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg
The WWE production of Los Cinco Caballeros didn't work out too well.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/13.jpg
Brock: "And that's why--- HEY! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP DURING MY PROMOS???"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/14.jpg
Bradshaw was as confused as anyone as to why he was actually carrying someone in a match.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/15.jpg
Bradshaw knelt crying at the Altar of Helmsley.
"You said I'd be going places after burying Rhyno! *sob* You said I'd get the U.S. Title! *sob* I gave you beer! *sob* And cigars! *sob* And Farooq's soul!!! Waaaaaaaahhhh!!!!"
Shelton: "You gonna be done anytime soon?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg
Shelton certainly wasn't the most delicate person when it came to right arm amputations.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/17.jpg
Few wanted to know that Nidia hadn't shaved down there in years. NO ONE wanted to SEE it.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/18.jpg
Nidia's version of "You can't see me" neither made sense nor was good.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg
Nidia gagged with disgust upon encountering the remains of Big Show's afternoon snack.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg
After the interview, both ladies got up and walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg
Big Show faced his biggest challenge yet when the WWE announced it would be letting go all wrestlers who could pat their head while rubbing their stomach at the same time.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg
Triple H smiled down upon this offering.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/23.jpg
This was,by far, the most violent but unique televised ass raping ever.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/24.jpg
Brian Hebner touched down on his hangglider just in time to see Brock hit the Ki Krusher on Cena.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/25.jpg
Unfortunately for Cena, the main event interfered with Big Show's 9:30 Nighttime Snack.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/26.jpg
John froze in his tracks. He was screwed all right... Angle had a chair, and he COULD see him!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg
Angry Cena fans quickly pelted Angle with a barrage of quarters and nickels, but the wise Kurt blocked the barrage with his trusty chair. Cena, however, bent down to collect his new laundry money for the week.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg
Um, Eddie, when the thing sticking out of your pants looks like a Brillo Pad, you might want to get it checked out by a doctor.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg
Suffice to say, Brock did not enjoy Eddie's Tinky Winky impression.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg
John-Eddie Guercena became the first ever Siamese to win a match.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg>
Patrick: I'm telling you, the butter in the back was low fat
Bradshaw: NNNNNOOOOOOO!


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/17.jpg>
Nidia "The Tool-Woman" didn't quite have the same ring to it


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg>
Now that her angle was over, Nidia was forced to pick up Big Show's droppings on a daily basis


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg>
Torrie: Didn't we used to hate each other?
Sable: You know I used to be over


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>
Big Show couldn't concentrate when Sean kept throwing peanuts at him


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg>
Eddie: Hey Brock is that a computer over there?
Brock: WHERE?!?!
*thumb poke to the eye*
Brock: owie owie ow ow ow


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/23.jpg>
Big Show has the match won, until God made a hot tag


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/24.jpg>
Brock was winning, but he underestimated the impact of the Thug Life nipple twist!


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/25.jpg>
MMMMM...Snack time


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/26.jpg>
George "The Animal" Steele debuts to Cena's surprise, but he did have to forget his pants?


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg>
Kurt: And thats for saying my song sucks!


<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg>
God was in favor of Eddie, no lying cheating and stealing on his watch



<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg>
Brock: Wow you're so much gentler than HHH

Yeah, that's what I meant. I get them mixed up.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg>

Bradshaw couldn't help it. He was so darned ticklish!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/17.jpg>

It was what Nidia's always wanted: her own personal Nazgul!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/18.jpg>

As if trying to recapture Paul Wight's WCW heel gimmick, Nidia lights one up in the arena.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg>

Suddenly, Nidia could run no more. The Fashion Police had her surrounded.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg>

The WWE's remake of the interrogation from "Basic Instinct" was a resounding success.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>

And yet, Vince still can't see that the Big Show is a Big Ape.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg>

When Eddie 1 was in trouble, it was Eddie Squadron to the rescue!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/23.jpg>

When John Cena was in trouble, it was Thing to the rescue!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/24.jpg>

When they say it's "raining cats and dogs", that means it's raining hard outside. When they say it's "raining midcarders"... well, duck.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/25.jpg>

Big Show: "Oooh.... John, do you work out?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/26.jpg>

There where just some days where Kurt couldn't get a decent ringside seat without people making fun of his shorts.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg>

Always a good sport, Kurt rewards a lucky fan in the first row with his very own souvenir folding chair.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg>

Eddie's pre-match execises were unconventional at best.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg>

And El Santo explodes, yet again, as he tries to think of a non-homoerotic caption.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg>

Eddie was so thrilled that he barely noticed Rikishi, speeding up behind him, ready to do it for the Rock.

:lol: Somehow, I found that hysterical.

OK, no one guessed the movie I was thinking of yet. Look at the ref's hand and look at Rhyno and Holly. If you've seen the movie, it should be pretty easy

*Hint: The lead character in the movie is a dwarf, who is a magician by trade, and gets sent on a journey with a few others to do a certain task.

I haven't seen this movie in years, so I wouldn't get the reference, but from the clue...Willow?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg

Kurt, being the polite guy that he was, tries to stop Cena from delivering a lethal dose of gas towards the crowd

I think Loopy's right. I remember that. The evil chick yelled it out and a bunch of people turned into pigs.

CORRECT loopy, but I think I have to spread some rep around before I can rep you, but I'll try. :y: :y: :y:

Yes, I hated that bit**, but Madmartigan ruled all.

The brownies owned. But I digress.

:'( Nobody liked my Terry Gilliam caption.

I liked it. :y:

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/01.jpg

When Tajiri stopped mid-match to gargle, everyone saw through his ruse. The Green Mist was just Listerine all along!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/02.jpg

As impressive as Rey's apron cartwheels were, nothing could beat the Air Surfing of Brian Hebner.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/03.jpg

CHAVO: I could have SWORN Rey was right here. I mean, I can see his body, but...his head is gone!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg

In WWE's first ever Leyendas de Lucha Libre match, Chavo Guerrero finally got his hands on El Cabeza De Poop.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg

Chavo was pissed. Why didn't the referee stop Ope the Evil Sign from taking his dad out?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/06.jpg

BASHAM: No, stop! Leggo! Hee hee hee! Sto--heeheehee! NO!
COLE: He's got him in the Taylor Tickler!
TAZZ: Well...HERE COME THE GIGGLES!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/07.jpg

Danny's Scott Taylor Scooter didn't work so hot.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/08.jpg

RHYNO: Wow. You're taller than me. That's surprising.
HOLLY: Why'sat?
RHYNO: I wouldn't have thought that such a small amount of talent could fill that big a body.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg

Holly had been caught in the act. So, he WAS a homo!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg

In a shocking swerve, referee Jimmy Chorderas soon began calling ALL the wrestlers homos.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/11.jpg

The dyslexic fan a few rows back MEANT to have his sign read "Word, Etc."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg

Slower and much more beautiful, the Minnesotan Hat Dance put Eddie Guerrero to shame.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/13.jpg

Typical WWE Writer's Thinking, Volume 580257: If Mick Foley can get over after a lengthy absence by letting a young up-and-comer spit in his face, then SURELY Eddie Guerrero can get over after a lengthy burial by doing the same!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/14.jpg

Worst. Samoan Drop. Ever.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/15.jpg

Worst. Stinkface. Ever. (How the hell is Bradshaw still employed?)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg

PATRICK: That's right. Due to the new rules, for every botched move, one limb must be removed.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/17.jpg

Nidia's shadow proved once and for all that the wrestlers ACTUALLY wrestle in front of a giant green screen! The set is all CGI!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/18.jpg

Sgt. Slaughter and Bart Gunn watching from the background, Nidia stopped mid-promo to down a handful of M&Ms.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg

NIDIA: But I really have to go!
VINCE: Then go on the wood pile!
NIDIA: But Big Show was just in there!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/20.jpg

I can't tell which is more artificial, the giant cover or...the cover girls.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg

Big Show and Brock Lesnar's new gimmick: Laurel and Hardy 2004!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg

GOD: PUT THE TALENT DOWN!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/23.jpg

CENA: Ow! Okay! Okay! "Sons of the Desert" WAS the best Laurel and Hardy movie!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/24.jpg

REF: Hey look! I'm climbing a ladder! Look!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/25.jpg

Big Show's reaction after Cena asked him to name all fifty states in alphabetical order.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/26.jpg

ANGLE: Alabamaalaskaarizonaarkansascaliforniacoloradoconnecticutdelawarefloridageorgiahawaiiidahoillinoisin dianaiowakansaskentuckylouisianamainemarylandmassachusettsmichiganminnesotamississippimissourimontan anebraskanevadanewhampshirenewjerseynewmexiconewyorknorthcarolinanorthdakotaohiooklahomaoregonpennsy lvaniarhodeislandsouthcarolinasouthdakotatennesseetexasutahvermontvirginiawashingtonwestvirginiawisc onsinwyoming, bitch!
CENA: Whoa...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg

ANGLE: Puerto Rico is not a state!
*Crack!*

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg

Eddie wanted to finish the match, but he really needed that fungal growth looked at.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg

EDDIE: Hey, Brock. Try this Hand Mushroom.
BROCK: Mmm...
REF: How is it, Brock? Good?
BROCK: It tastes like...burning!
EDDIE: While everyone's distracted by a rip-off caption, I'll just get a quick pin!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg

EDDIE: Ha ha ha! That's right, homes! The WWF DID "force 3:16" down our throats!

{Yes, it's official. I have lost my touch.}

Minnesotan Hat Dance! LOL! THAT was the clever, witty line I wanted for that pic! Oh well.

LMAO at Angle reciting the states.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg

It was bad enough the fans were calling Rhyno and Holly jobbers, but when Thing points it out, that's when its time to call it quits

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg

WWE had to rip off Mortal Kombat, and create a female Mortaro.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg

Rhyno: Right!

Ref: WRONG! The ball is in this hand.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg

Ref: Whoo boy! Rhyno, only in America where I can find a match like this on a night like this...in a beu..tiful..ring like this...and...uhhhh

A few seconds later the ref collapses and faints.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/02.jpg

Mysterio gets pulled over by the Smackdown police, unfortunately as the police officer goes to handcuff him, he accidently hooks the handcuff onto the top rope.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg

WWE Version of Mortal Kombat character Mortaro...Latino Heat Style!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/01.jpg

WWE Version of Mortal Kombat character Mortaro...Japenese style!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg

Bradshaw: NO DADDY! I DONT WANNA GET A HAIRCUT!

Huge props to Nowhere Man - some of those captions had me holding my stomach in pain.

I thought it was "Motaro." Not "Mortaro." I'm not anywehre near sure tho.