SmackDown Captions (02/19/04)
 

Alrighty, SmackDown hasn’t even aired in America yet… It’s 3:30pmish here, and the pics are up! Once again, sorry for the Matt Hardy post… That just sucked.
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/01.jpg>
Cena: Come on Kurt! Let’s get this promo done with! I gotta use the little boys room!

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Kurt: So Triple H and HBK think they’re the only ones that can do the vase, huh?
Cena: You said it best Kurt, It’s true.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg>
Right now is not the best time for the ref to try to seduce the wrestlers.

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Ref: Well Basham, I have some good news and I have some bad news…
Basham: What’s the bad news?
Ref: It looks like since your team lost the tag team titles you’ll be as over as the team of Taka and Barry Horwitz… But the good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geicko!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg>
Kurt: Come on Cena! You’re not even trying to do the vase!
Cena: That’s because that gag only works with the right camera angle!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg>
Sally Struthers Voice Over: After a few months of turning face, this potential main eventer is getting ready to be buried, but please, you could help. Just dial 1-800-Mid-Carder for more information. He’s reaching out to you… will you reach out?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg>
As Kurt carried the invisible sandwich the Basham was stuck to the ropes because of Rhyno’s and the SmackDown fist came to destroy everything while God looked on.
Vince: Now this is good booking!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/08.jpg>
No Vince, it’s not good booking. Just look at the fan in the black shirt falling asleep.

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Kurt: See! Now you’re getting the vase joke right!
Cena: The fans can’t see it.
Kurt: You don’t have to do that “can’t see me” bit with the vase! The vase speaks for itself!
Cena: -sigh- Whatever, Kurt. Now get off my ass about the vase.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/10.jpg>
At this point Paul was very thankful for his hand held mirror.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg>
Vince: The WrestleMania XX Cartoon! Everyone likes cartoons! That’s a great idea Hunter!
Hunter: Anything to make Raw more credible than SmackDown, I mean help out the company.

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Pieces of the “all midcarders must be buried” clause fell from the ceiling as Sean O’Haire used them as confetti.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg>
Eddie: Come on! Let’s party, ese! Let’s live it up before Vince sees a credible wrestler with the title!
Belty: I’m so happy, I could cry…
Eddie: Same here Belty… Same he… A TALKING BELT!?!?!?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
The new WWE lawn furniture wasn’t getting over.

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Chavo Jr: See Eddie! We can be a team!
Belty: Shut up, Midcarder!!! You stupid midcarder!!! I’ll bury you!!!
Chavo Jr: -GASP!!!- Eddie!!!
Eddie: I’m sorry ese! It wasn’t me talking! It was the belt!
Chavo Jr: Belts don’t talk!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg>
This isn’t holding up talent…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/17.jpg>
Another week passes when the Show does not get his prematch snack.

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Brock: God… I know we don’t talk much, but here me out… I miss Belty…. Oh man, I really miss Belty… The nights we had cookies and milk together, the people we buried, and all the other moments… if you could please reunite us, I promise to go to church every week… :tear: I miss Belty…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/19.jpg>
Now Stevie Richards is going after the refs on other shows!

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Paul: Kurt, put on a shirt for God’s sake… You look like the love child of Steve Austin and A-Train.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/21.jpg>
This isn’t as bad as Bradshaw’s bronco buster last week.

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Chavo Jr: No Eddie! Stay down here! You can’t be too elevated! I’ll be lonely!!!

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Chavo Sr. could only look on… it’s been a while since he’s seen midget wrestling, with a midget ref.

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Kurt: I hope you’re watching this, Earl! See! Eddie is NOT tapping, so I am NOT calling for the bell!

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Belty: YOU NO GOOD NO TALENT HACK! I’LL BURRY YOU ALIVE YOU PIECE OF CRAP!!!
Chavo Jr: Eddie! Why must you be so mean???
Eddie: It’s NOT me!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/26.jpg>
Kurt works on his shadow puppets in mid match.

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Kurt: Oh the power… oh GOD the power! It’s almost orgasmic… OH THE POWER!!!
Vince: Okay Kurt… you’re scaring me… now get out of my chair.

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Kurt shows of his new WWE sneakers, regardless of the fact that there was still a match in the ring.

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Maybe Triple H could spy on SmackDown unnoticed if he didn’t drive up to the ring.

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Thing points out to the one with the higher IQ.

Woo-hoo! 300th post!

:wtf:

That's kinda stupid to put 'em up before the show airs...

Oh well...I'll prolly be back to caption 'em after I've watched the show...

With how many people read the spoilers, why not? Let people get a head start on them.

Gonna do mine as I watch it I guess. Then post when it's over.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/09.jpg

Kurt: look at me...I'm Goldberg!

Alright, I'm game. Sometimes it's easier to do captions when I have no idea what the hell is going on. ;)

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Embarassed, Cena tries to explain to Kurt what happened to his laundry when he accidentally mixed his yellow cap in with his whites.

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John knew he had to be punished for wearing the yellow clothes, but being chained in the center of the ring while Kurt sings the Best of Barry Manilow? THat was both cruel and unusual!

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As Shaniqua was sent down to OVW, she got her revenge by unleashing her new monster, the Rabid Ref! Unfortunately, she'd given him the brain of some fellow named Germaine Shepperd...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/04.jpg>
As Kurt desperately tries to retrieve the One Ring for to cast into The Cracks of Doom, Gollum works himself into a schitzophrenic froth.

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Kurt: "Uh... John... nearsighted much?"

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John: "Everybody out there! Listen to me! Soylent Green is SEAN O'HAIRE! SEAN O'HAIRE!!!!!!"

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Danny Basham froze when he realized that the Titantron wasn't showing the match as it was happening now, but rather he was seeing himself getting thrashed by Kurt Angle three minutes in the future.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/08.jpg>
... Uh... OH!

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Wrestling as it was meant to be: Greco-Roman and naked.

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When Dawn found Paul, stiff, unmoving, and with a suspicious bulge in his pants, she realized that she'd done it again.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg>
And this delightful WWE-commisioned mural depicts the time when a 500 foot tall Eddie Guerrero devoured New York.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/12.jpg>
Eddie's plans to cut another incredible promo had to be put on hold when the 100 Millionth WWE fan entered the arena.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg>
Eddie: "And to make sure nobody takes this belt away from me, I had it surgically grafted to my shoulder. Viva la raza!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
And the crowd was doubly amazed when Eddie's talking penis put on an entertaining promo.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/15.jpg>
Eddie: "Edward James Olmos! YOU'RE the 100 Millionth fan?"
Chavo Sr.: "For the last time, I'm not...."
Chavo Jr.: "THIS is the party you promised for your title win? Balloons and confetti? Where are the strippers, dammit! I want strippers!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/01.jpg>
In yet another attempt from the WWE to prove that they didn't discriminate against handicapped persons, they hired their new "special" talent and pushed him to Kurt Angle's level.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/02.jpg>
Kurt Angle wasn't impressed by the feats of the magician John Hoocena.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg>
Kurt thought he'd be doing The Bashams a favor by pulling off the arm with the elbow pad on it, so they could NEVER be discovered.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/04.jpg>
I've heard that Kurt Angle is a "stiff worker", but this is just ridiculous.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg>
This time Rhyno had truly gone too far. Cena and Angle deliberate how to keep their match kayfabe, and decided upon doing spot after spot of Benoit-like non-release moves.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg>TOASTY!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg>
Luckily for Kurt, he was quick enough to dodge Triple H's fist. The Basham wasn't as fortunate.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/08.jpg>
John Cena performs the Fire Marshall's Carry.
(Dedicated to someone's original "Fire Marshall Bill" caption.)

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The Cable Guy strikes again, but nobody believes Angle!

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Paul Heyman rolls his eyes in disappointment, for a second he'd thought Trish Stratus had jumped rosters.

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Vince: "And so, I present to you, the ultimate tool in attracting the Latino market."
JR: "Bah gawd Vince. Brilliant."
Vince: "Yeah, I know. Now Ross, I want you to start announcing with a Latino accent."
JR: "I'll do my best, Steve."
Vince: "..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/12.jpg>
JR: "And look at this man, Eddie Guerrdddadadadadaderdo. BAH GAWD UNPRDADADADADADAETTIERDADADAD STUNERDADADADADA."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg>
Eddie thought he had everything under control and celebrated having the belt. But he had fallen into Triple H's trap, and the ring began to bubble and boil into a melting pit of lava...

Triple H: "Ooooooooo-hohohoho. Aaaaaaaaa-hohohohoho. Feecha howaki "Smack Down Title." Hooooooooo-hohohohoho."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
It was bad enough for Eddie to steal fornature, but to steal the WWE ring was a little much.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/15.jpg>
In their game of Pinata, Chavo threw a trantrum when Eddie got the WWE belt and Chavo got the Cruiserweight belt.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg>
Big Show misunderstood Vince backstage, when he was told to "Carry the jobber."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/17.jpg>
Steven Richards shows us exactly why he is called Hardcore Holly.

OR

Inspired by Earl Hebner, this ref wasn't taking no shi</>t off of anyone, and did a running baseball slide to Richards when he tried to interfere.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/18.jpg>
Lesnar looks up to the skies, looking for the advice of Triple H on how to survive going a few weeks without the title.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/19.jpg>
Apparently, Lesnar had caught wind that Cheech Marin was the mole on the internet.

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Kurt Angle was stunned. This wasn't what he had in mind when the WWE mentioned a "new angle."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/21.jpg>
With the push that Eddie had been getting, Chavo was a little upset about where that put his head when compared to his uncle.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/22.jpg>
Eddie reveals his new finisher: "The Angry Chihuahua."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/23.jpg>
When the ref was paranoid of Eddie's reputation of lying, cheating and stealing, he suspected Guerrero to have a foreign object. Luckily, Steven Richards was in the house to give the routine inspection.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/24.jpg>
Kurt: "Mmmmmmmm, pretzel..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/25.jpg>
Chavo had talent. Chavo was doing well. But Chavo got buried, and Chavo was awarded an insignificant title. There was only one thing to do, to complete the circle.

Lock on The Walls of Jericho.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/26.jpg>
Kurt, having forgotten how to count to three, looked to the fans for aid. But they weren't much help.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg>
Kurt Angle does his impression of Triple H booking matches.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/28.jpg>
Eddie could not BELIEVE that Chavo kicked out of the Angry Chihuahua.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/29.jpg>
Having forgotten his lines, Angle checked the cue cards on the top right.
"Smack? Ow? I can handle that!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/30.jpg>
Angle got a little defensive when Triple H said his title was 'bigger' than his.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg>
Show: "WHOA. Now I know why they call you HARDcore Holly..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/17.jpg>
As the ref slipped yet again, the WWE production crew reconsidered their policy of waxing the wrestling mat.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/18.jpg>
Brock: "Dear Heavenly Father... tell me, what must I do to win back the belt?"
'God': "My son, you must first go to RAW. And then you must find the one who is adorned in pink hotpants, and job yourself to him."
Brock: "Thank you, Lord, I will do as you... nice try, Steven."
'God': "Dammit."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/19.jpg>
Medic: "This looks suspicious! Men, put your gloves on! Full cavity search!"
Ref: (weakly) "nnnnnn-nnnoooooo......."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/20.jpg>
Kurt: "Uh, Paul... You weren't just involved in that 'cavity search' angle, were you?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/21.jpg>
I was about to do a caption about Eddie and his "Little Man", but given that Eddie and Chavo are related, the caption just got far too creepy for words.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/22.jpg>
For the poor camera on the right, the fight between an Uncle and his Nephew just hit to situations too close to home, and he broke down emotionally.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/23.jpg>
Chavo Sr. was tempted, but he knew, deep down inside, that Eddie's game of pattycake was all a ruse.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/24.jpg>
In an incredible show of mental effort, Kurt uses the Force to break Chavo's hold.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/25.jpg>
Chavo: "Say Uncle!"
Eddie: "You dumbass. I AM your Uncle, ese!"
Chavo: "Uh... right. Say Nephew, then! ... No, wait, that's lame. DAMMIT!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/26.jpg>
Kurt hesistated. The moment was perfect to play "Got Your Nose," but .... with whom?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg>
Kurt: "Yessssss.... My preccciouusssss...."
JR: "Bah Gawd! Ah don't believe this! The One Ring has taken control of Kurt Angle! He ... has gone... completely ... INSANE!"
Tazz: "Get out of my seat, you redneck."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/28.jpg>
Kurt: "This is so embarassing. Does Chavo always suck his thumb?"
Eddie: "You don't know the half of it, ese..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/29.jpg>
When mini-Angle saved the day by leaping onto Kurt's head, Eddie knew that he had taken one blow too many.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/30.jpg>
Kurt: "And, on Wrestlemania, I'll be where the USA is on this belt... RIGHT ON TOP!"
[offstage]: "Psst.... Kurt... You're holding it upside down..."
Kurt: "Son of a..."

lol, wish there was a picture of Eddie blading his pec for no reason. would have loved to caption that.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/22.jpg
Eddie thought he could call out Hardcore Holly by spelling out his name.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/20.jpg
Heyman took the "Smackdown!" logo on Kurt's shoulder a bit too literally.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/01.jpg>
"ACK, SPIDER!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/02.jpg>
Cena didn't appreciate Angle's rendition of "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg>
Rick Steiner re-debuts after losing a lot of muscle

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/04.jpg>
Ref: ...wait...I must draw you

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg>
Rhyno's back to his old tricks

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg>
Cena: I'M NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING YOU DON'T ALREADY KNO--
Ref: *whack* what did Lord Vince tell you about uttering those lines?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg>
Angle flashes back to his days in county .... and that one day in the shower room.....

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/08.jpg>
The Basham titty-twister gets Cena yet again

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/09.jpg>
Cena: You can be my wingman anytime
Angle: Bullshit.....you can be mine

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/10.jpg>
Paul: Do you love me this much?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg>
Guerrerozilla vs. Wrestlemania XX logo, a new FOX special

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/12.jpg>
Vince: Ah shit, Eddie got into the sauce again
Eddie: There you are turnbuckle, I've been waiting to give you a piece of my mind....YOU STINK!.....YOU AND YOUR WHOLE OPERATION STINK!.....I QUIT!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg>
Eddie marks his territory as new WWE Champion

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
Eddie: Yo holmes stop checking out my ass ese
WWE logo: Sorry...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/15.jpg>
"Get your arm off me Chavo!"
Chavo: Oh sorry Stevie

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg>
Show: You don't want to sell cotton candy? Go join Sean!
Hardcore: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/17.jpg>
Big Show hides his bad hair day by dressing it as a ref's body

...........didn't fool anyone

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/18.jpg>
Brock: Have a good time up there Holly!
Hardcore: Dammit
Sean: Hey whats up Bob?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/19.jpg>
Medic: Did he touch you here?
Chavo: Yes, Uncle Vinnie touched me there

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/20.jpg>
Paul: Gondor asks for aid Kurt....
Kurt: For the last time this isn't Middle Earth!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/21.jpg>
God smiles upon the new WWE Champion

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/23.jpg>
Eddie: Yo Cheech you were the man in Up In Smoke ese
Chavo: Son of a

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/24.jpg>
Kurt: Wait.....I can feel him....

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/25.jpg>
Cole: CHAVO! CHAVO! CHAVO!
Tazz: What a great first episode of MACKdown!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/26.jpg>
Kurt: You can dance when you want to, you can leave your friends behind, cause your friends don't dance-
Eddie: And if they don't dance
Kurt: Dammit this isn't sing along with the ref!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg>
Kurt: IT WAS ME!
JR: BAH GAWD. Angle admits to being the hummer driver, hitting Austin, and raising the briefcase, BAH GAWD STUNNER

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/28.jpg>
As you can see, Eddie is very territorial over his dinner

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/29.jpg>
Angle: I'll never let go Eddie
Eddie: .......damn

Stop posting these so early, Always!!!! I haven't read any except Always's... sorry if any jokes were repeated.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/01.jpg>
Cena: "Touch your forearm!"
Angle: *sigh* "Stealing Eddie's gig, eh kid? And it's KNEES, not forearm."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/02.jpg>
Angle: "Oh, and another thing... AlbertaBritishColumbiaManitobaNewBrunswickNewfoundlandandLabradorNorthwestTerritoriesNovaScotiaNunav otOntarioPrinceEdwardIslandQuebecSaskatchewanYukon. BIOTCH!!!"
Cena: :eek:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg>
Angle had things under control until Danny made the tag to Stevie.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/04.jpg>
Hebner: "So a rooster lays an egg on the middle of a sloped roof. Which side does it roll down?"
Danny: "I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! Please stop!!"
Hebner: "WRONG ANSWER! Kurt, increase the pressure!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg>
Cena: "Why the hell did you have to use Rhyno's 'face lotion?'"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg>
Poor Cena. The cameraman had his Precious and Doug was holding him down, and all Hebner could do was silly hand puppets!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg>
Angle: "Wrestling with the Bashams now? Screw that. Invisible jetpack AWAY!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/08.jpg>
Cena had the unique ability take a shit and carry some at the same time.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/09.jpg>
It was bad enough they were both suddenly naked. Did Cena really have to jack off as well?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/10.jpg>
Those new ceiling, wall, and floor convex mirrors were really starting to prove their worth.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg>
Wrestlemania Spoiler: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince defeats Eddie Guerrero to become new WWE Champion.

Millions of internet smarks smack their TV's off the roof.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/12.jpg>
Tragically, Sean O'Haire got too close to the fan.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg>
Eddie was ecstatic until something in the rafters caught his eye.
"The belt is fake, all your base belong to us, love Hunter???"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
Eddie demonstrates the "What to do during a Hardcore Holly promo" position.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/15.jpg>
Chavo gets incredible heel heat by insulting the city's native ballon population.

Sorry man, I don't plan on posting them later :p
Lotsa peeps read the spoilers, and sometimes it works better if people have no idea wtf is going on in the pics.
Oh, and by the way....
<font size=10>*LMAFO!!!!!!*</font>

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/25.jpg
Chavo: who sucks now!?
Fans: YOU!!!!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/18.jpg
Brock does an impression of HHH in vinces office.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg
Eddies up to his old tricks again.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg>
It didn't help that Big Show was whistling "Takin' out the trash" as he walked toward the edge of the ring.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/17.jpg>
Show had it won until the ref clocked him with a nasty left.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/18.jpg>
Hunter: "Admiral Lesnar?"
Brock: "Yes my lord."
Hunter: "You have failed me for the last time."
Brock: "But please, lemme ex--- gha..chacha...hahhhckhckagt!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/19.jpg>
Man. That musta been one heck of a tummy ache.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/20.jpg>
What Paul Said: "Child, you are HEALED!!!!"
What Angle Heard: "Cool! I get to turn heel?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/21.jpg>
In trouble, Chavo unleashed the move vicious move ever: The Cajones Chomp.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/22.jpg>
Eddie retaliated by absorbing Chavo into his crotch, Triple H style.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/23.jpg>
Eddie: "Hey! You're standing, and I'm about to deliver a move!!!"
Chavo Sr.: *sigh*

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/24.jpg>
After this incident, Northern Lights Suplexes were banned as well.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/25.jpg>
Chavo: "Point to your knees!!!!"
Eddie: "Holmes... that's just old. Get over it."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/26.jpg>
Kurt: "Whew! All this refereeing is hard work. HEY RINGSIDE GUY! THROW ME A TAB!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg>
Fans really knew Angle had turned heel when Rita decided to make her monster grow.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/28.jpg>
Angle: "Hey Eddie! Here's another thing! AguascalientesBajaCaliforniaNorteBajaCaliforniaSurCampecheChiapasChihuahuaCoahuilaColimaDurangoFeder alDistrictGuanajuatoGuerreroHidalgoJaliscoMéxicoMichoacánMorelosNayaritNuevoLeónOaxacaPueblaQuerétar oQuintanaRooSanLuisPotosíSinaloaSonoraTabascoTamaulipasTlaxcalaVeracruzYucatánZacatecas!!"
Eddie: "Whoa! He knows EVERY country's states and provinces in alphabetical order!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/29.jpg>
Angle: "Okay, this is gonna be tricky. Now Mr. Yankem said that the incisors are the pointy ones... or were those molars?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/30.jpg>
Belty didn't like it when Kurt called him a homo.

:lol:

Top Gun.

Man, El Santo was on FIRE this go round. I laughed so hard at the Soylent Green one that I accidentally woke up my roomie.

Anyways, I'd try my hand at it, but it's 1:30 in the morning right now, and I need sleep. I'll come back when my brain isn't fried (although mine are usually funnier when it is....I'm just afraid I'm gonna pass out at the keyboard in the middle of it)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/01.jpg
Cena's impersonation of Jazz - "Look at me, I'm a woman with a penis!" - had gone too far, as her husband Rodney Mack's entrance proved.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/02.jpg
Vince knew that getting Tazz to conduct a Cena-Angle interview was a bad idea.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg
Brian Hebner had a feather in his cap even his father couldn't boast - helping a tentacled mutant give birth to a bald little baby.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/04.jpg
"Steal my kneepad, bitch!" "So smooth and soft..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg
"If you can read this, you're about to get Angle Slammed..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg
Cena's new gimmick "Shoehead" wasn't getting over, so he was put in a squash match. Being a true professional, he still tried to promote new Nike Shox to the camera.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg
Angle's in for a surprise as Doug prepares his blue lightsaber.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/08.jpg
When people told Goldberg he had "chicken legs", Cena took it a bit too far - he'd tarred Goldberg's legs and was about to throw him in a bowl of feathers.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/09.jpg
After seeing his awesome genitals in the showers two years ago, Lance Storm forever haunted Kurt.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/10.jpg
I'm sorry Dawn, this is emotional for me... near the end it got pretty desperate. I was THIS far away from putting the title on YOU.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg
Vince just KNEW that Eddie 'The Genie' Guerrero was going to be huge!

http://tomscott.ezhoster.com/stingbefore.jpg
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/12.jpg
http://tomscott.ezhoster.com/stingafter.jpg
Sting's paper-cutting antics in the rafters were starting to piss Eddie off.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg
Eddie looked very pleased with himself as his new genie powers came into use.
"Sting! You have three wishes!"
"I want to have the WWE Championship!"
"So much so... you'd even BE the championship?"
"Yes! I mean, no! Shit..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg
Eddie waited a while for Big Show to recover from their opening pinfall-exchange spot.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/15.jpg
To try and combine the brain-power of TWO Guerreros in his title match against Eddie, Chavo had his Dad's head grafted onto him.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg
After encountering the 7 feet tall security guards, Bob would think again about trying to steal anti-hair loss cream from the store.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/17.jpg
Holding Bob in place, Big Show only planned "Hit Hardcore Holly Day" for WWE's jobbers, but it seemed refs wanted a piece too.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/18.jpg
When somebody mentioned "Eddie", Brock started getting emotional about his favourite movie - Pluto Nash's box office failure had always been a sore spot.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/19.jpg
Medic: Looks like someone jumped the ref, but nobody's been caught yet. Hey you, stop standing around and deliver this news to Heyman! Hmm, this attack was probably down to referee politics. He obviously didn't have a talent for the game.
Chavo Sr: *opens eyes* I'M NOT EDWARD JAMES OLMOS, DAMNIT!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/20.jpg
After his encounter with Cena and the bar of soap a few weeks back, Paul had developed a fetish for soap products. "Kurt, your shirt is so soft... you must tell me the brand! NOW!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/21.jpg
After many conversations with HBK, Eddie had not-so-subtly managed to incorporate Extreme Preaching into his matches. "YOU HAVE THE POW-AH!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/22.jpg
Many things came with Eddie's newfound fame - including tabloid photographers coming from out of nowhere, looking for a gay scandal.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/23.jpg
After signing the wrestler with one leg, Vince though the timekeeper with Alzheimer's was a fantastic idea.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/24.jpg
Growing bored by the match, Darth Angle decided he wanted to break Chavo's back.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/25.jpg
Acting on the instructions of his watcher Hunter Giles Helmsley, Buffy the Cruiserweight Slayer planted a leg straight through the heart of Chavo.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/26.jpg
As part of "Make Like a Videogame" day, Angle gives us Hand Pacman and the Guerreros give us a male version of Fear Effect 2.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg
Kurt had to smile to himself - he was about to unleash the best Louis Armstrong impersonation EVER.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/28.jpg
Kurt: "...what a wooonderful woooorld!"
Eddie: "...the hell?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/29.jpg
Angle just wasn't bothered about his role in "Titanic - The Musical" anymore, as the taxi waiting for him as soon as he finished proved.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/30.jpg
After Angle beat HHH for the title, Hunter's hand began getting withdrawal symptoms after a few minutes.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/10.jpg
So Paul how BIG is it?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/30.jpg>
Hunter: ...and with that offering, Kurt, you shall never be burried!!!
Kurt: Oh thank you Hunter! Thank you!
Hunter:...sucker...
Kurt: WHAT!?!?!?
Hunter: <i><b><u>YOU QUESTION MY BOOKER T MOCKERY!!! YOU SHALL BE BURRIED!!!</i></b></u>

Look at the attached files. Thanks to technological advances, we clearly see that Kurt Angle is played by a clean-shaven Goldberg.

http://www.tpww.net/forums/attachmen...ntid=569&stc=1

http://www.tpww.net/forums/attachmen...ntid=570&stc=1

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg
This isn't a caption, but this is quite possibly the scariest Kurt Angle picture...ever.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg
Seeing... The Kurt wasn't as scary as seeing The Vince, but it was damn close.

Gee, could that possibly be loopy's new avatar :lol:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/16.jpg>
God: <strike>Holding up talent
Keeping talent down
A good match
A decent match</strike>
...What the hell is this...

Wait, unless I'm blind, I just realized he hasn't posted here this week. :eek:

I haven't. I've been fighting a cold the last couple of days, so I haven't been online much. I just tried to do a couple, and they were pretty bad. I'll try again later when my head's clearer.

Yeah, I took a little break this week too. I guess I just got a little captioned out. :-\

Hah! I AM THE LONGEST CONTINUOUS CAPTIONEER ON THE FORUMS!!!!


Wait, why the **** am I even pretending to be proud of that? :wtf:

Your the Ric Flair of Captions Cork.

god, these are so hilarious

I'M NOT A WOMAN DAMMIT!!!!

Because I can't let Corky get too comfortable...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/01.jpg

John Cena's gimmick was forever buried after the night he got the giggles.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/02.jpg

KURT: Belizeguatemalaelsalvadorhondurasnicaraguacostaricapanama...HOMO!
JOHN: Wait...that wasn't in alpha--
KURT: No. Better. Geographic order!
JOHN: Oh, no... Not another running gag...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg

Brian Hebner's Igor impression came to a crushing halt after Kurt informed him that there actually was no "Igor" character in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. F</>ucking spoilsport...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/04.jpg

Yes, kids, in honor of his upcoming match with Randy Orton in OVW, John Cena has been awarded his very own Telepathetic Helmet. Let's listen in...

KURT: Hmm...MontgomereyJuneauTucsonLittleRo--
DANNY: Owieowieowieowieowie
BRIAN: I *sob* can't believe I've been living a lie all these years...
JOHN: Damn, whatever cold medicine loopydate's taking to make his captions so incoherent...I want some!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg

JOHN: You can't see me!
KURT: You're right. I'm just seeing a blurry white mess.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg

BRIAN: But...he did have a hunchback assistant, right?
JOHN: Oh, for Christ's sake... Why can't you be like your dad and just ring the bell?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg

Kurt played a little air-jug. This was going to be the best jamboree EVER!





Y'know what? I'm going to take a break before I embarass myself any further.