Abyss's secret is...
 

Wow, not only does TNA take used wrestlers from WWE, but they also take used story lines.

Pathetic

LAME! I knew Mitchell was going to end up being Abyss' father as soon as he became his manager. It was disgustingly predictable. What's going to be annoying is another 3 years of shitty feuds with these two.

Next thing you know Mitchell had an affair with Abyss's mother to produce him. Also Abyss killed a girl when he was younger and then had sex with her dead body.

Wait. abyss had a new secret? What does this make? Ten?

Knowing TNA this storyline will go nowhere anyway.

How long until Abyss is forced to take of his mask, revealing....... that he's just an ugly dude

Or better yet ODB

Didn't abyss have a secret before?What makes them think we care?

Abyss's next secret: he's afraid of kittens.

DUM DUM DUMMMM.... no, just dumb.

Plus, didn't James Mitchell say he got shot 3 times in the back by Abyss' mother?

I bet abyss's next secret is that he's gay or something, with the amount of secrets he's had you never know!

His next secret is that Sting is his three-quarters brother.

Abyss is the Cloverfield Monster

Spoilers, dick! :foc:

lulce

Abyss, oh the tna kane\mankind imalgimation. :roll:

I was waiting all night for Mitchell to cut off Abyss' hand and tell him that SoCalVal was his sister.......

So now Judius and Abyss are brothers....After taking a break for about a month from impact, I turn it back to this shit. I'll never learn..

Abyss's secret is...

...that we switched his ordinary coffee with Folger's crystals! Abyss! What do you think of your coffee?

Abyss: Mm, pretty nifty, actually.

Well, what would I tell you if we switched your coffee with Folger's crystals!

Abyss: RARAAWWGWAGWHRGGWRGARGAWRGGHRARGHRGHAWRW!!!!!1111

...that the accent mark (`) isn't an apostrophe (')?

Woulda been more interesting if he had made a deal with finlay and vinnie mac to rape hornswoggle, several times. 2 storylines from different shows\companies intertwined. Then we get the eventual abyss hornswoggle sex tape leaked on the net later in the year. :nono:

Sorry about that, fixed it though. But I' ll never learn that no matter how long I take a break, I will always be extremely insulted by a storyline.

Correct. Two secrets ago was that Abyss was in jail for shooting his father. The last secret was that Abyss took the fall for his mother, who actually did the shooting.

Attention, TNA: implying that your supposedly unstoppable monster needs a gun makes him less impressive, not more.

What would make this storyline instantly great, is if Abyss says "No you're not, this is my father, he actually got a paternity test when we were on Maury on the episode entitled 'I shot the man who might not be my baby dady'. What are you trying to pull?" Then James Mitchell just gives a ":shifty:" and slinks into the background.

Maury: Father James Mitchell... you are NOT the father! Well... you are, I mean, you're a clergyman and all... in some church... aparently. But you aren't this man... this... um... this... individual's... male... parent... yeah, you know what, who writes this shit...

Abyss is secretely a lesbian

Abyss: *punches Don West in the stomach*
West: But I'm not even a writer!
Abyss: I know, but it felt good.

I'd mark out.

Of course not. Next father James Mitchel is gonna come out and say "you thought your other brother died when you burned him with acid 10 years ago but he's still alive. I introduce MORTIS!!!!! BWAAHAHAAHAHAHA" :roll: TNA is really hittin the bottom of the barrel of these washed up WWE/WCW guys. Oh well, I guess it's still better that Rikishi.

Vince Russo: Shit, I better get out of here before he starts going after people who REALLY deserve it!

Abyss: Where are you going, Vince?

Vince Russo: Um, Ed Ferrera sent me an urgent message that I should reply to...

Abyss: Don't lie to me, Vince. Why would you be scared? You're not a writer...Dixie always said it was mainly Dutch writing this stuff.

Vince Russo: :shifty: Yeah...Dutch does it all. Oh, by the way, Abyss, you're technically a member of the writing team, so shouldn't you punch yourself?

Abyss: Damn it, you're right...

Maury: Hold on, Abyss, can't you see they're trying to trick you. Now, you listen here, Vince, you can't bring this shit on my show and now have to answer for it if you are, in fact, responsible.

*20 minutes later*

Maury: Vince...you ARE the writer!

Crowd: *goes nuts*

Vince Russo: No! No! You don't know me! You don't know m...*Abyss punches Russo in the gut and then gives him a Black Hole Slam on some tacks*

So how long until Abyss and Judas Mesias are in cahoots and eventually become tag champs?

The Siblings of...Smashing stuff?

No, I'm serious. I wanna see Kennedy drive to the ring with a big microphone truck and spray the ring with treble.