just replace chuck norris with.....
 

Mr. McMahon.:shifty:

Mr. McMahon's "Reality Checks"


Hi WWE Universe,
As you all know, Mr. McMahon is returning to Raw this Monday at 9/8 CT, on USA Network.

WWE.com has been compiling various facts about our Chairman of the Board that you may not have known. We call them "Reality Checks."

Here's some of the "Checks" WWE.com will reveal on their front-page ticker (coming soon):

* Mr. McMahon once spanked Shane as a child. Four states away, the doctor who delivered Shane eight years prior started crying.

* Mr. McMahon doesn’t “dial” phone numbers; he orders the numbers to pull together and dial themselves.

* “Stone Cold” Steve Austin has been dubbed the “Texas Rattlesnake.” Mr. McMahon has the other 49 states covered – as well as Canada and Puerto Rico.

* McMahon = Triple word score in Scrabble, plus 50 points for using all your letters.

* If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, it’s because Mr. McMahon fired the tree and anyone in the vicinity.

* The “Voices” Randy Orton hears in his head are Mr. McMahon’s.

Now we are asking YOU, the WWE Universe, to come up with "Reality Checks" of your own for the Chairman.

Please submit yours in the thread below, and your best ones will be added to the Reality Check ticker on the front page of WWE.com for the world to see.

That's just like Vince, getting on the fad wagon at least two year late.

* Mr. McMahon has let Raw get so terrible that the show no longer sells out arenas.

"* Mr. McMahon doesn’t “dial” phone numbers; he orders the numbers to pull together and dial themselves."

Well, if the Million Dollar Giveaway was any indication, that is not a good way to dial.

*Mr. McMahon's wife coined the name of the WWE's largest annual PPV, Wrestlemania.

* Mr. McMahon doesn't have a steroid problem. In fact, many of his friends are steroids.

This was the only one that made me even chuckle remotely.

If no one is around to hear it, it's because no one is watching. :shifty:

Mr. McMahon is currently in a lawsuit with NBC, claiming that Law and Order are the trademark names of is right and left legs. He will then lose said lawsuit, and start a campaign known as "Get the Law and Order Out".

*The only thing standing between Vince McMahon and eternal life is Braden Walker.

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* Mr McMahon is currently in a lawsuit with the Regional Animal Welfare (R.A.W) and Endangered Creature Welfare (E.C.W) Foundations.

*The Southern Missouri Animal Care incorporating Kittens Deer Otters Weasels and Newts is eagerly awaiting the outcome :shifty:

* He is also expecting some heat from the Hampshire Endagered Animal Trust.

lol you must be bored KYR

Only read if you've seen Raw

Word.

Those were awful. :(

And you know comedy!

Dev<s>(N)</s>oid of humour.

:roll: