Rank Kane's Terrible Storylines
 

He's been in the WWE as Kane for about 12 years and had maybe 4 good storylines, compared to 600 bad ones. Let's try to order them. I'm just jotting them down right now. We will order them later. There will be a special section for terrible Glenn Jacobs non-Kane gimmicks.

1) Katie Vick
2) May 19th/Imposter Kane
3) Kidnapping Rajin Singh
4) Setting JR on fire
5) Losing every Inferno match (except to MVP)
6) Marrying Lita
7) One day WWF Title reign
8) Rey's mask
9) Digging up the Undertaker's parents with Paul Bearer
10) Half-shaved head/Full hair Summerslam 2000
11) Rey's Mask
12) Losing to Snitsky, the man who killed his baby

Non-Kane gimmicks
1) Fake Diesel
2) Isaac Yankem, DDS
3) Christmas Creature

What's wrong with the Ranjin Singh kidnapping?

He took a man from an arena and held him hostage for a week.

Also, don't forget the joining DX/being turned on by Tori/ becoming the "sad monster"

Still not getting it. lol

He kidnaps people. That's what he does.

Also, the Kelly Kelly storyline.

wow, tough choice. Katie Vick has to be #1 followed closely by Fake Kane.

Kidnapping people is pretty 1999 booking. They're trying to book more realistically and they have this guy kidnap Rajin and Rey Rey consequence free?

Shawn Michaels super kicked a 10 year old girl.

If total realism was THAT strict 90% of the roster would be in fake jail...

I'm actually hesitant to throw the Kane/X-Pac/DX storyline in there. X-Pac was teaching Kane to be more human and at the time was the de facto leader of DX. Kane joining DX was only a natural progression of those two stories.

Kane joining DX was fine.

The whole thing with X-Pac and Tori turning on him and him getting all sad was kinda lame. I dunno. It deserves consideration.

True. It's all on kind of a spectrum. But I think there's a big difference between a superkick to the boss and the girl (it never showed the kick, for all we know she just startles easily) because these actions are acceptable within the context of pro-wrestling. But kidnapping a man and holding him for a week is more like something you'd see on 24 and that's where I think it gets too far into the entertainment end of things.

At least that Kait eVick storyline had Kane in the World Title picture. The May 19th thing had no direction and no payoff.

And he jobbed to the impostor just to be shocking.

What about that one storyline about the fanatical fan that got a Kane mask tattoo?

i put them in order
 

Worst:
2) May 19th/Imposter Kane
1) Katie Vick
3) Reys Mask
6) Lita

Adding to the list:

-Kane and Paul Bearer digging up Kane and Taker's dead parents

Do we count Kane losing his mask a storyline..if so, thats a shitty one. In my opinion.

The Worst: Katie Vick

Worst Kane moment: Katie Vick

Funniest HHH moment: Katie Vick

No one ever really complains though when The Undertaker gets blown up or buried alive and comes back to life though. lol

My single favorite Kane moment ever.

lmao, and that's all that's gotta be said.

Is he alive or dead?

Crappy way to start a crappy feud.

Wasn't the setting JR on fire during his whole unmasked thing in 2003. To be honest I really liked that Kane era. He was destroying people left, right and centre. Then there was that thing when Shane O'Mac hit him with a chair twice, he fell off the stage through the rigging, and then sat up and laughed. I was so marking out.

How is "Burns are all in his head" not on here?

how about when saying the release date of See No Evil made him crazy? "MAY 13th....BAHHHHHH!"

the burns are in his head thing is works on a level kane is psychotic and his belief in his disfigurement could easy be exploited by paul bear (who also kept kane hidden from the world) to give kane a dysmorphic mind body image dr doom has been written in this way too if I got my comic book history right with his scaring too being more mental than physical.

i liked it when kane talked with a voicebox
and when he said

'suuuuck iiiiiit'

Shut the fuck up, if I want lip from you, I will jiggle my zipper

Unless you want bj from a dude I'd keep my nuts tucked away...unless you just like that sorta thing I'm not here to judge

19th not 13th :roll:

how about attaching poor ShaneO's grapefruits to a car battery? Gotta be up there.

Any time I think about how horribly Kane has been booked, I go back and watch the Rock/Hogan/Kane promo and it makes everything better.

And if I need extra help, there's the making out with Terri vids. :love:

For now, the top 3 worst Kane storylines I have as

1. Katie Vick
2. May 19th / Impostor Kane
3. Marrying Lita

Anyone notice how Kane halfway shaves his head? Thats goofy as shit.

I meant to put that down but I wasn't sure how to file it. Kane unmasking wasn't necessarily a bad storyline. It didn't lead to great things and it could have gone much better, but the unmasking itself wasn't terrible. My problem with it was when he pulled his mask off and it had a wig. We know that Kane had real hair due to the Undertaker pulling Kane's mask totally off at Summerslam 2000. I know that Kane has had a lot of inconsistencies in his back story, but that was on TV, and he still does it to this day.

I think the worst Kane storyline was when he was in Mr McMahon's Corporation. That is where the whole "Big Red Retard" name originated.

When he started talking

Yeah buddy, Kane was never better than this.