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Old 08-15-2009, 05:33 PM   #1
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Rank Kane's Terrible Storylines
He's been in the WWE as Kane for about 12 years and had maybe 4 good storylines, compared to 600 bad ones. Let's try to order them. I'm just jotting them down right now. We will order them later. There will be a special section for terrible Glenn Jacobs non-Kane gimmicks.

1) Katie Vick
2) May 19th/Imposter Kane
3) Kidnapping Rajin Singh
4) Setting JR on fire
5) Losing every Inferno match (except to MVP)
6) Marrying Lita
7) One day WWF Title reign
8) Rey's mask
9) Digging up the Undertaker's parents with Paul Bearer
10) Half-shaved head/Full hair Summerslam 2000
11) Rey's Mask
12) Losing to Snitsky, the man who killed his baby

Non-Kane gimmicks
1) Fake Diesel
2) Isaac Yankem, DDS
3) Christmas Creature

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Old 08-15-2009, 05:35 PM   #2
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What's wrong with the Ranjin Singh kidnapping?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:36 PM   #3
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He took a man from an arena and held him hostage for a week.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:36 PM   #4
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Also, don't forget the joining DX/being turned on by Tori/ becoming the "sad monster"
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:37 PM   #5
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He took a man from an arena and held him hostage for a week.
Still not getting it. lol
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:38 PM   #6
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He kidnaps people. That's what he does.

Also, the Kelly Kelly storyline.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:38 PM   #7
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wow, tough choice. Katie Vick has to be #1 followed closely by Fake Kane.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:40 PM   #8
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Kidnapping people is pretty 1999 booking. They're trying to book more realistically and they have this guy kidnap Rajin and Rey Rey consequence free?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:42 PM   #9
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Shawn Michaels super kicked a 10 year old girl.

If total realism was THAT strict 90% of the roster would be in fake jail...
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:44 PM   #10
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I'm actually hesitant to throw the Kane/X-Pac/DX storyline in there. X-Pac was teaching Kane to be more human and at the time was the de facto leader of DX. Kane joining DX was only a natural progression of those two stories.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:47 PM   #11
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Kane joining DX was fine.

The whole thing with X-Pac and Tori turning on him and him getting all sad was kinda lame. I dunno. It deserves consideration.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:51 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by #1-wwf-fan View Post
Shawn Michaels super kicked a 10 year old girl.

If total realism was THAT strict 90% of the roster would be in fake jail...
True. It's all on kind of a spectrum. But I think there's a big difference between a superkick to the boss and the girl (it never showed the kick, for all we know she just startles easily) because these actions are acceptable within the context of pro-wrestling. But kidnapping a man and holding him for a week is more like something you'd see on 24 and that's where I think it gets too far into the entertainment end of things.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:52 PM   #13
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At least that Kait eVick storyline had Kane in the World Title picture. The May 19th thing had no direction and no payoff.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:53 PM   #14
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And he jobbed to the impostor just to be shocking.
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Old 08-15-2009, 06:04 PM   #15
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What about that one storyline about the fanatical fan that got a Kane mask tattoo?
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Old 08-15-2009, 06:07 PM   #16
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i put them in order
Worst:
2) May 19th/Imposter Kane
1) Katie Vick
3) Reys Mask
6) Lita
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Old 08-15-2009, 06:13 PM   #17
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Adding to the list:

-Kane and Paul Bearer digging up Kane and Taker's dead parents
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Old 08-15-2009, 06:46 PM   #18
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Do we count Kane losing his mask a storyline..if so, thats a shitty one. In my opinion.
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Old 08-15-2009, 06:48 PM   #19
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The Worst: Katie Vick
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Old 08-15-2009, 07:15 PM   #20
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Worst Kane moment: Katie Vick

Funniest HHH moment: Katie Vick
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Old 08-15-2009, 07:36 PM   #21
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Quote:
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But kidnapping a man and holding him for a week is more like something you'd see on 24 and that's where I think it gets too far into the entertainment end of things.
No one ever really complains though when The Undertaker gets blown up or buried alive and comes back to life though. lol
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Old 08-15-2009, 08:18 PM   #22
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4) Setting JR on fire
My single favorite Kane moment ever.
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Old 08-15-2009, 11:20 PM   #23
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Quote:
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No one ever really complains though when The Undertaker gets blown up or buried alive and comes back to life though. lol
lmao, and that's all that's gotta be said.
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:06 AM   #24
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Is he alive or dead?

Crappy way to start a crappy feud.
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Old 08-16-2009, 07:54 AM   #25
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Wasn't the setting JR on fire during his whole unmasked thing in 2003. To be honest I really liked that Kane era. He was destroying people left, right and centre. Then there was that thing when Shane O'Mac hit him with a chair twice, he fell off the stage through the rigging, and then sat up and laughed. I was so marking out.
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Old 08-16-2009, 08:15 AM   #26
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How is "Burns are all in his head" not on here?
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:22 AM   #27
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how about when saying the release date of See No Evil made him crazy? "MAY 13th....BAHHHHHH!"
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:40 AM   #28
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the burns are in his head thing is works on a level kane is psychotic and his belief in his disfigurement could easy be exploited by paul bear (who also kept kane hidden from the world) to give kane a dysmorphic mind body image dr doom has been written in this way too if I got my comic book history right with his scaring too being more mental than physical.
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:58 AM   #29
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i liked it when kane talked with a voicebox
and when he said

'suuuuck iiiiiit'
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:20 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KIRA View Post
the burns are in his head thing is works on a level kane is psychotic and his belief in his disfigurement could easy be exploited by paul bear (who also kept kane hidden from the world) to give kane a dysmorphic mind body image dr doom has been written in this way too if I got my comic book history right with his scaring too being more mental than physical.
Shut the fuck up, if I want lip from you, I will jiggle my zipper
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:34 AM   #31
KIRA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanso View Post
Shut the fuck up, if I want lip from you, I will jiggle my zipper

Unless you want bj from a dude I'd keep my nuts tucked away...unless you just like that sorta thing I'm not here to judge
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:26 PM   #32
owenbrown
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Quote:
Originally Posted by legendkillerRKO View Post
how about when saying the release date of See No Evil made him crazy? "MAY 13th....BAHHHHHH!"
19th not 13th
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:34 PM   #33
DaveWadding
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how about attaching poor ShaneO's grapefruits to a car battery? Gotta be up there.
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Old 08-16-2009, 03:02 PM   #34
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Any time I think about how horribly Kane has been booked, I go back and watch the Rock/Hogan/Kane promo and it makes everything better.

And if I need extra help, there's the making out with Terri vids.
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:18 PM   #35
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For now, the top 3 worst Kane storylines I have as

1. Katie Vick
2. May 19th / Impostor Kane
3. Marrying Lita
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:43 PM   #36
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Anyone notice how Kane halfway shaves his head? Thats goofy as shit.
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:57 PM   #37
thedamndest
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I meant to put that down but I wasn't sure how to file it. Kane unmasking wasn't necessarily a bad storyline. It didn't lead to great things and it could have gone much better, but the unmasking itself wasn't terrible. My problem with it was when he pulled his mask off and it had a wig. We know that Kane had real hair due to the Undertaker pulling Kane's mask totally off at Summerslam 2000. I know that Kane has had a lot of inconsistencies in his back story, but that was on TV, and he still does it to this day.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:29 AM   #38
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The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Jayman got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I think the worst Kane storyline was when he was in Mr McMahon's Corporation. That is where the whole "Big Red Retard" name originated.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:31 AM   #39
The Mackem
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When he started talking
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:14 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rammsteinmad View Post
Wasn't the setting JR on fire during his whole unmasked thing in 2003. To be honest I really liked that Kane era. He was destroying people left, right and centre. Then there was that thing when Shane O'Mac hit him with a chair twice, he fell off the stage through the rigging, and then sat up and laughed. I was so marking out.
Yeah buddy, Kane was never better than this.
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