futurama-rama
 

in the spirit of the simpsons quotes thread, post your favourite futurama quotes here. i provide two justifications for this thread to exist:

1. it's been a while
2. they released the four mini-movies since the last one of these, and some people might have favourite quotes from them

so eat me, haters.

time to party like its 2999!

Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

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Professor Farnsworth: If anybody needs me, I'll be in the angry dome.

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Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?

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Professor Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glermo: Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory.
Professor Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.

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Mom: Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

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Fry: You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go.
Leela: That's the only thing about being a slave.

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Evil Lucy Liu-bot: I am Lucy Liu. Give me your spines.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: But as a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure.

Big Brain: The Big Brain am winning again. I am the greetest! [It laughs.] Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!

Big Brain: Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool, your decimal system has played right into my hands!

Not a quote, but probably one of the most esoteric references in any cartoon: "A beer mentioned in the episode [The Route of all Evil] is given the name of St. Pauli Exclusion Principle Girl. This is a portmanteau and reference to both St. Pauli Girl beer and the Pauli Exclusion Principle."

Every thing said in Futurama is pretty gold to me.

Bite my SHINEY METAL ASS.

Kif: "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?"
Amy: "What!?"
Leala: "Lieutenant Kroker!"
Kif: "Oh! Uh! Ahem! I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."
Amy: "Kif!?"

Amazon: "You want die like last men visit Amazonia?"
Fry: "What'd they die of?"
Amazon: "Crushed pelvises."
Fry: *long pause* "Yes!"
Brannigan: "Oh thank you Lord in heaven!"

Femputer: "Femputer sentences them: To death!"
All: *astonished and quivering*
Femputer: "By snu snu!"
Fry: "Yeah!!! Whoohoo!
Brannigan: "Yay!!!"
Kif: *quivering*
Brannigan: "What are you? Gay?"


The Amazon episode is one of my favorites from the show.

Stephen Hawking: Oh, great. The universe has been destroyed.
Fry: Then where are we?
Al Gore: I don't know, but I damn well know where we're not - the universe.

[on the fiddle contest]
Leela: What happens if we lose?
Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: You'll only win a smaller silver fiddle. Also, I guess I'll kill one of you. Uhh... him.
[points at Fry]

oh i can't believe that quote made it into a sig

Fry: Full price for gum? That dog won't hunt, monsignor!

Robot Devil: This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

Zapp Brannigan: The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

Bender: Oh. Your. God.

Leela: Bender! Romance isn't about money.
Bender: So it's just a coincidence that Zoidberg is desperately poor and miserably lonely? Puh-lease.
Leela: For your information, it's because he's hideous.
Zoidberg: :'(

[on the fiddle contest]
Leela: What happens if we lose?
Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: You'll only win a smaller silver fiddle. Also, I guess I'll kill one of you. Uhh... him.
[points at Fry]

Morbo: Morbo will now introduce the candidates - Puny Human Number One, Puny Human Number Two, and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon.
Richard Nixon's Head: How's the family, Morbo?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.

Lrrr: Surely you know McNeal. She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.

Best quote ever. I was going to post this one.

Preacherbot: Wretched sinner unit! The path to robot heaven lies here ... [He takes out a 3.5" disk.] ... in the Good Book 3.0.
Bender: Hey! Do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No! So beat it!
[The Preacherbot tuts and leaves.]
Fry: Who was that guy?
Bender: Your mama! Now shut up and drag me to work!

i always make that zoidberg "woopwoopwoop" sound when i'm crossing the road and in danger of getting run over if i don't walk faster. i have no idea why. :'(

Zoidberg: Be careful with that Adlai Leela, he's a doctor, they're very poor.
Leela: Actually, most doctors are rich.
Zoidberg: What?!? When did this happen? You're joking, right? That's not funny!

Zoidberg:now, pick a mouth, open it, and say wrwrbbrwwrb.
Fry:wbbrrbbr.
Zoidberg:What?! My mother was a saint, get out!!!!

:'(

Bender: That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink.
Dr. Zoidberg: Bender, you said 'wink, wink' out loud.
Bender: No I didn't. Raise middle finger.

This is my favorite moment of the entire show.

It's during the episode where Leela gets her 2nd "eye"

Fry: What’s so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us
aren’t normal. And that’s what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg. He’s
a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.
Zoidberg: Damn right.
Fry: And the professor’s a senile amoral crackpot.
Professor: Oyeeaii. (waves)
Fry: Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.
Hermes: Tally me banana.
Fry: Amy is a klutz from Mars.
Amy: Whoops. (drops her glass)
Professor: And Fry, you’ve got that brain thing.
Fry: I already did!

Nibblonian 1: It’s a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.
Fry: I did do the nasty in the pasty.

Nibblonian: You are the last hope of the universe.
Fry: So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibblonian: Yes - except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.

Greeting Card: Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
Bender: Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?
Greeting Card: No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!
Bender: Yes! In your face, Gandhi!

Al Gore: As I discuss in my book Earth in the Balance, and the more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of the Earth, we need to protect ourselves against the greenhouse effect and dark wizards.
Dark Wizard: Oh sure, blame the wizards.

Chief Giant Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your tomb for all eternity.
Tom Sawyer: Please no!

Mr. Panucci: What's with Seymour? It's like he don't want you to go, or he thinks your pants is too short or somethin', which is crazy, cause frankly you look fabulous.

Amy Wong: You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there, you could drop me off on the way!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: We could but we won't. It's a spaceship damn it! Not a prom limousine!
[angry rant]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome.

Mario: Mamma Mia! The cruel meatball of war has rolled onto our laps and ruined our white pants of peace!

Stephen Hawking: Oh, great. The universe has been destroyed.
Fry: Then where are we?
Al Gore: I don't know, but I damn well know where we're not - the universe.

lol the Angry Dome