[FourFifty]

Kurt was amazed! Max Mini looked nothing like he thought he would without the mask!


Spike and Chavo do their adaptation of “Triple H and the Raw locker room.”


“RICHARDS!!!!!”


Kurt: Okay, by popular demand, SmackDown will have it’s own women’s title!
Dawn: But isn’t that the old US title?
Sable: Yeah, it is… Won’t the fans notice?
Kurt: With how bastardized the heavyweight and the tag team titles are, no, they won’t notice.


And these two men saw only the previews for Catwoman.


Vince: Okay, Bubba, for the end of the match, we need to put Paul Kidman on the invisible crucifix!
Bubba: But I’m fighting Billy---
Vince: Damn it! Then put Billy London on the invisible crucifix!
Bubba: We’re out of crucifixes.
Vince: Damn it! Improvise!


Hey, Bubba! Where did the credibility of the SmackDown tag team titles go?


Kurt: Take it! Get that mid card WCW title away from me!


Kurt: Just because you wear the retro style shirt with the beaded necklace and the shaggy hair does NOT mean you can start your own emo band!
Funaki: But it was Vince’s idea! It won’t get buried!
Kurt: Oh crap! Vince’s idea? You’re feuding with JBL for the heavyweight title!


Bubba: Do you know the name of the guy on first?
Spike: I don’t know, who’s on first?
Bubba: Yes!
Spike: Yes is on first?
Bubba: No, who.
Spike: That’s what I wanna know!
Bubba: What do you wanna know?
Spike: Who’s on first?
Bubba: Yes! Who is on first!
D-Von: Shut the hell up before I kill the both of you!


David Arquette: Now that’s a sad excuse for a champion.


Vince: I like him! He’s big, he’s a solid worker, and he’s a great hoss! Kick off Billy London from the card tonight so we can have a promo hyping the debut of this man!


“Now this belt means somethin’ to me! I had to trade my Jigglypuff and Meowth cards for this belt from Shane! Had to give ‘em my blue eyes white dragon to keep it last week!”


JBL: Mr. Shamrock, it’s an honor to meet you!
Dude:


Even Moshe Shlomo had to laugh at JBL’s promo.


If this powerbomb wasn’t cool enough, then the fact that he was crapping out a ref had to be make it cool.


John Bradshaw Hunter Layfield even had to hold down the bandwidth.


“WHAT!!!! Brock doesn’t like homosexuals!?!? I gotta cancel the flowers I’m sending to him!!!”


“Uh-Oh!”


Walker, Texas Janitor: Uhhh… JBL… We’re turning off the lights. The show has been over for 6 hours… isn’t it time to ended your promo?


And after this, Mark was never allowed to eat Mexican food before a show, ever again.


“DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH MY CREAM FILLING!!!!!”


The ploy was simple- The Undertaker will sing lullabies to JBL, and when he’s napping, Belty would run toward freedom, and credibility.


After this segment, fans had a new appreciation for Shannon Moore.


Was I the only one begging for The Three Minute Warning?


Scarfy was no match for Belty.


And somewhere out there, there’s a gay man with no underwear.


Sable: We don’t like the idea of the Raw Diva Search! We have worked hard to get where we are!
Dawn: I busted my ass off in ECW, wrestling, and doing my best to impress the fans to get where I am now! These little tramps have a chance to get a contract! I busted my ass off!
Torrie: Well, I did something with my ass, but I didn’t bust it…
Jackie: All I did was “take it in the back” from Shane… and Vince… and Pat Patterson.


“And IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, will always love youuuuuuuuuU!!!!”


“OHMYGOD! OVER 30 PICS AND IT’S NOT A PPV!!!!”


Even the SmackDown Divas are disgusted at Hunter’s honeymoon tape.


D-Von:I’ll make you squeal like a piggy!
Rey: Oh Crap! He saw Deliverance!


Bubba: Sorry Rey, but Vince told me that I need to interfere with your match. Vince won’t allow a cruiserweight to cleanly beat a heavyweight.


Billy: Sorry! Thought you were a hand puppet.


In an attempt to outshine Zach Gowen, Rey became the first wrestler to wrestle without a head.


It was a good match until the ref was memorized by his invisible sub.


And Cena learns that reading your own palm isn’t as much fun as it sounded like it would be.


*(insert HGA joke here)*


Vince: Okay, you can let go of my hand now.
Kurt: I’m trying, I really am!
Vince: Let go of my hand, damn it!
Kurt: Did you shake hands with Rhyno?
Vince: Yes, NOW LET GO OF MY DAMN HAND!!!


Vince just saw the GAB.


Kurt was a little upset when nothing happened after he clicked the ruby slippers three times and said “There’s no place like Raw, there’s no place like Raw, there’s no place like Raw.”


Moments earlier Kurt learned the hard way that the rumors about Vince’s laser eyes were true…


“DON’T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MARK HENRY/MAE YOUNG STORYLINE AGAIN!!!!”


Vince: Are you sure this is how we play baseball?
Kurt: Of course! Lita taught me!


*moments earlier*
“No, I don’t want any damn pain killers! I’ll take the catheter like a man!”


Eddie realizes that he has reached the heights of Hogan, Sting, Ric Flair, and Doink The Clown when he can come out, not say or do anything, and still get a pop.


Vince led the good, Christian life style, as he lets God be his driver…
Until he could find a perfect moment to screw him over in front of his country men in a heavyweight title match when he doesn’t want to drop the title to HBK.