SmackDown Captions (July 22, 2004)

**FourFifty** · 07-23-2004, 02:25 AM

Kurt was amazed! Max Mini looked nothing like he thought he would without the mask!

Spike and Chavo do their adaptation of �Triple H and the Raw locker room.�

�RICHARDS!!!!!�

Kurt: Okay, by popular demand, SmackDown will have it�s own women�s title!
Dawn: But isn�t that the old US title?
Sable: Yeah, it is� Won�t the fans notice?
Kurt: With how bastardized the heavyweight and the tag team titles are, no, they won�t notice.

And these two men saw only the previews for Catwoman.

Vince: Okay, Bubba, for the end of the match, we need to put Paul Kidman on the invisible crucifix!
Bubba: But I�m fighting Billy---
Vince: Damn it! Then put Billy London on the invisible crucifix!
Bubba: We�re out of crucifixes.
Vince: Damn it! Improvise!

Hey, Bubba! Where did the credibility of the SmackDown tag team titles go?

Kurt: Take it! Get that mid card WCW title away from me!

Kurt: Just because you wear the retro style shirt with the beaded necklace and the shaggy hair does NOT mean you can start your own emo band!
Funaki: But it was Vince�s idea! It won�t get buried!
Kurt: Oh crap! Vince�s idea? You�re feuding with JBL for the heavyweight title!

Bubba: Do you know the name of the guy on first?
Spike: I don�t know, who�s on first?
Bubba: Yes!
Spike: Yes is on first?
Bubba: No, who.
Spike: That�s what I wanna know!
Bubba: What do you wanna know?
Spike: Who�s on first?
Bubba: Yes! Who is on first!
D-Von: Shut the hell up before I kill the both of you!

David Arquette: Now that�s a sad excuse for a champion.

Vince: I like him! He�s big, he�s a solid worker, and he�s a great hoss! Kick off Billy London from the card tonight so we can have a promo hyping the debut of this man!

�Now this belt means somethin� to me! I had to trade my Jigglypuff and Meowth cards for this belt from Shane! Had to give �em my blue eyes white dragon to keep it last week!�

JBL: Mr. Shamrock, it�s an honor to meet you!
Dude:

Even Moshe Shlomo had to laugh at JBL�s promo.

If this powerbomb wasn�t cool enough, then the fact that he was crapping out a ref had to be make it cool.

John Bradshaw Hunter Layfield even had to hold down the bandwidth.

�WHAT!!!! Brock doesn�t like homosexuals!?!? I gotta cancel the flowers I�m sending to him!!!�

�Uh-Oh!�

Walker, Texas Janitor: Uhhh� JBL� We�re turning off the lights. The show has been over for 6 hours� isn�t it time to ended your promo?

And after this, Mark was never allowed to eat Mexican food before a show, ever again.

�DON�T YOU EVER TOUCH MY CREAM FILLING!!!!!�

The ploy was simple- The Undertaker will sing lullabies to JBL, and when he�s napping, Belty would run toward freedom, and credibility.

After this segment, fans had a new appreciation for Shannon Moore.

Was I the only one begging for The Three Minute Warning?

Scarfy was no match for Belty.

And somewhere out there, there�s a gay man with no underwear.

Sable: We don�t like the idea of the Raw Diva Search! We have worked hard to get where we are!
Dawn: I busted my ass off in ECW, wrestling, and doing my best to impress the fans to get where I am now! These little tramps have a chance to get a contract! I busted my ass off!
Torrie: Well, I did something with my ass, but I didn�t bust it�
Jackie: All I did was �take it in the back� from Shane� and Vince� and Pat Patterson.

�And IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, will always love youuuuuuuuuU!!!!�

�OHMYGOD! OVER 30 PICS AND IT�S NOT A PPV!!!!�

Even the SmackDown Divas are disgusted at Hunter�s honeymoon tape.

D-Von:I�ll make you squeal like a piggy!
Rey: Oh Crap! He saw Deliverance!

Bubba: Sorry Rey, but Vince told me that I need to interfere with your match. Vince won�t allow a cruiserweight to cleanly beat a heavyweight.

Billy: Sorry! Thought you were a hand puppet.

In an attempt to outshine Zach Gowen, Rey became the first wrestler to wrestle without a head.

It was a good match until the ref was memorized by his invisible sub.

And Cena learns that reading your own palm isn�t as much fun as it sounded like it would be.

*(insert HGA joke here)*

Vince: Okay, you can let go of my hand now.
Kurt: I�m trying, I really am!
Vince: Let go of my hand, damn it!
Kurt: Did you shake hands with Rhyno?
Vince: Yes, NOW LET GO OF MY DAMN HAND!!!

Vince just saw the GAB.

Kurt was a little upset when nothing happened after he clicked the ruby slippers three times and said �There�s no place like Raw, there�s no place like Raw, there�s no place like Raw.�

Moments earlier Kurt learned the hard way that the rumors about Vince�s laser eyes were true�

�DON�T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MARK HENRY/MAE YOUNG STORYLINE AGAIN!!!!�

Vince: Are you sure this is how we play baseball?
Kurt: Of course! Lita taught me!

*moments earlier*
�No, I don�t want any damn pain killers! I�ll take the catheter like a man!�

Eddie realizes that he has reached the heights of Hogan, Sting, Ric Flair, and Doink The Clown when he can come out, not say or do anything, and still get a pop.

Vince led the good, Christian life style, as he lets God be his driver�
Until he could find a perfect moment to screw him over in front of his country men in a heavyweight title match when he doesn�t want to drop the title to HBK.

07-23-2004, 02:25 AM	#2
FourFifty As over as Crystal Pepsi Posts: 21,639	Kurt was amazed! Max Mini looked nothing like he thought he would without the mask! Spike and Chavo do their adaptation of �Triple H and the Raw locker room.� �RICHARDS!!!!!� Kurt: Okay, by popular demand, SmackDown will have it�s own women�s title! Dawn: But isn�t that the old US title? Sable: Yeah, it is� Won�t the fans notice? Kurt: With how bastardized the heavyweight and the tag team titles are, no, they won�t notice. And these two men saw only the previews for Catwoman. Vince: Okay, Bubba, for the end of the match, we need to put Paul Kidman on the invisible crucifix! Bubba: But I�m fighting Billy--- Vince: Damn it! Then put Billy London on the invisible crucifix! Bubba: We�re out of crucifixes. Vince: Damn it! Improvise! Hey, Bubba! Where did the credibility of the SmackDown tag team titles go? Kurt: Take it! Get that mid card WCW title away from me! Kurt: Just because you wear the retro style shirt with the beaded necklace and the shaggy hair does NOT mean you can start your own emo band! Funaki: But it was Vince�s idea! It won�t get buried! Kurt: Oh crap! Vince�s idea? You�re feuding with JBL for the heavyweight title! Bubba: Do you know the name of the guy on first? Spike: I don�t know, who�s on first? Bubba: Yes! Spike: Yes is on first? Bubba: No, who. Spike: That�s what I wanna know! Bubba: What do you wanna know? Spike: Who�s on first? Bubba: Yes! Who is on first! D-Von: Shut the hell up before I kill the both of you! David Arquette: Now that�s a sad excuse for a champion. Vince: I like him! He�s big, he�s a solid worker, and he�s a great hoss! Kick off Billy London from the card tonight so we can have a promo hyping the debut of this man! �Now this belt means somethin� to me! I had to trade my Jigglypuff and Meowth cards for this belt from Shane! Had to give �em my blue eyes white dragon to keep it last week!� JBL: Mr. Shamrock, it�s an honor to meet you! Dude: Even Moshe Shlomo had to laugh at JBL�s promo. If this powerbomb wasn�t cool enough, then the fact that he was crapping out a ref had to be make it cool. John Bradshaw Hunter Layfield even had to hold down the bandwidth. �WHAT!!!! Brock doesn�t like homosexuals!?!? I gotta cancel the flowers I�m sending to him!!!� �Uh-Oh!� Walker, Texas Janitor: Uhhh� JBL� We�re turning off the lights. The show has been over for 6 hours� isn�t it time to ended your promo? And after this, Mark was never allowed to eat Mexican food before a show, ever again. �DON�T YOU EVER TOUCH MY CREAM FILLING!!!!!� The ploy was simple- The Undertaker will sing lullabies to JBL, and when he�s napping, Belty would run toward freedom, and credibility. After this segment, fans had a new appreciation for Shannon Moore. Was I the only one begging for The Three Minute Warning? Scarfy was no match for Belty. And somewhere out there, there�s a gay man with no underwear. Sable: We don�t like the idea of the Raw Diva Search! We have worked hard to get where we are! Dawn: I busted my ass off in ECW, wrestling, and doing my best to impress the fans to get where I am now! These little tramps have a chance to get a contract! I busted my ass off! Torrie: Well, I did something with my ass, but I didn�t bust it� Jackie: All I did was �take it in the back� from Shane� and Vince� and Pat Patterson. �And IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, will always love youuuuuuuuuU!!!!� �OHMYGOD! OVER 30 PICS AND IT�S NOT A PPV!!!!� Even the SmackDown Divas are disgusted at Hunter�s honeymoon tape. D-Von:I�ll make you squeal like a piggy! Rey: Oh Crap! He saw Deliverance! Bubba: Sorry Rey, but Vince told me that I need to interfere with your match. Vince won�t allow a cruiserweight to cleanly beat a heavyweight. Billy: Sorry! Thought you were a hand puppet. In an attempt to outshine Zach Gowen, Rey became the first wrestler to wrestle without a head. It was a good match until the ref was memorized by his invisible sub. And Cena learns that reading your own palm isn�t as much fun as it sounded like it would be. (insert HGA joke here) Vince: Okay, you can let go of my hand now. Kurt: I�m trying, I really am! Vince: Let go of my hand, damn it! Kurt: Did you shake hands with Rhyno? Vince: Yes, NOW LET GO OF MY DAMN HAND!!! Vince just saw the GAB. Kurt was a little upset when nothing happened after he clicked the ruby slippers three times and said �There�s no place like Raw, there�s no place like Raw, there�s no place like Raw.� Moments earlier Kurt learned the hard way that the rumors about Vince�s laser eyes were true� �DON�T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MARK HENRY/MAE YOUNG STORYLINE AGAIN!!!!� Vince: Are you sure this is how we play baseball? Kurt: Of course! Lita taught me! moments earlier �No, I don�t want any damn pain killers! I�ll take the catheter like a man!� Eddie realizes that he has reached the heights of Hogan, Sting, Ric Flair, and Doink The Clown when he can come out, not say or do anything, and still get a pop. Vince led the good, Christian life style, as he lets God be his driver� Until he could find a perfect moment to screw him over in front of his country men in a heavyweight title match when he doesn�t want to drop the title to HBK.