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Old 01-12-2005, 01:40 AM   #1
Gone Mad
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RAW CAPTIONS 01/10/05 ! ...
It's a double feature and for good reason. This will probably be the last time I post pics of the shows, due to lack of interest and so and so. If, by popular demand, you guys want me to continue posting pics and maybe even do the monthly caption contest, then let your voice be heard and I'll return (or if someone else wants to do it, even better). So, enjoy and I'll post back later.



























I AM GONE MAD AND I SOMEWHAT APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
****** PEEPS UNITE! IT'S Gone Mad ™ ! *****

YOUR AD HERE. WEBSITE COMING SOON. I LOVE YOU.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rock Bottom
YOUR FUCKING GIMMICK IS THAT YOU'RE TOTALLY FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!@ YOU WENT SO MAD THAT YOU FORGZOT THE GOD DAMN "E" IN "GONE MAD!!!!"
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Old 01-12-2005, 05:28 AM   #2
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Kane:Oh man,these things taste so damn sour.


Edge:See,I told you Sean O'Hair was up there.
Shawn:Cool!


Benoit:Oh GOD! Simons pills are starting to kick in!
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Old 01-12-2005, 02:35 PM   #3
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WWE Creative Team: Hey Kane, what do you think of Nova's new gimmick?
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Old 01-12-2005, 02:03 PM   #4
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Ref: Ewww! A bug on the mat!


Hassan: Sprout damn you.... SPROUT!!
Hurricane: I told you... I am not a plant!
Hassan: WAS THAT A DEROGATORY STATEMENT ABOUT MY RACE?!


Cousin It! Can I have your autograph?


RefORGYs.


Snitsky: Hands off my... TOILET PAPER!!


Alright, who drew on Kane's face when he was sleeping?


Batista: I GOT MY NOSE!!


Batista: Must... go towards the chair...
Randy: NO! It's a trick! He'll just end up holding you down!
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Old 01-12-2005, 02:11 PM   #5
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FUCK YOU INTERNET FANS! AHAHAHAHA


HHH: .................
Dave: What Hunter?
HHH: Sorry...I got lost...in your eyes


Christian: I can fly!
Benoit: No you can't, you're not me
Christian: SHIIIIIIIIT!


Benoit: It tastes like buuuuuuurning
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Old 01-12-2005, 04:39 PM   #6
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PS2's new controller didn't go over so hot with internet fans.

Batista: Can I touch it?
HHH: 3 feet Dave, 3 feet!!!!!

How teh speak Australian

HAMMERED

Fosters, Australian for beer.

Shelton had to help Maven, but the ref could still smell it.

Fans were shocked when they learned Hurricane needed a catapult to get into the air.

Edge: tap...tap...tap
Rhyno: Never [rips a fart]
Edge: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

Micheals: I thought the special school doesn't get out until 4?
Edge: Nope. It gets out at 3.
Eugene:

Micheals: Told you I could catch my own spit in the air. Gimme 5 bucks.
Edge: No.

The roughest thumb war ever.

refs: I want your bod.
HBK: What?

ref: Never mind, I want your bod.....[takes deep breath] ohhh yeah.

Whaddaya mean no dessert? I ate my broccoli. It went down this hole!!!!

I beds could talk.....


Ksne: Launch ze missles!!!!

Eugene that pranksta glued Kane to a chair. Simon and Snitsky tried, but they just couldn't pull him off.

Snitsky: BAM!!!!!
Emirel: Heyyyyy!!!!

STONED.

Xtian: Air Hump!@!!!!! Air Hump!!!!!! Air Hump!!!!
JR: Bahgwad!!!!! Here cmes the air hump!!!!!!!
Benoit: Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Benoit: Urgghhhh...he got me right up the butt.
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Old 01-12-2005, 07:05 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nervous Ferret

How teh speak Australian

HAMMERED

Fosters, Australian for beer.


LOL I hate to say this about myself, but that's really funny.
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Old 01-12-2005, 06:16 PM   #8
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Edge: Scissors!
Vince: Damnit Edge, you and Shawn are playing Red Light, Green Light, not Rock Paper Scissors!



Edge botches smiling for the camera.



Batista: (Reading) Free Food...follow me.
Randy: Don't Batista...its a trick



Shawn and referee Mike Chiodo hold back an enraged Britanny Spears fan when told her concert was cancelled when she hurt her knee.



Simon: Kane...I am your fatha!



After spending One Night in China, you'll never feel good again
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Old 01-12-2005, 06:56 PM   #9
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Shawn Michaels could not fight off the Zombie Referees as they began to devour him.
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Old 01-12-2005, 07:59 PM   #10
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HHH: Um, hey Dave, um.. My friend's got a wedding coming up and prices for certain things are really high up there so you mind, um, asking your friend D-Von.. and you can do it too, to, uh, ....WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!


As you can see from his current review, Randy did not enjoy the film "White Noise".


HBK: Hu-hum...
eDGe: Whoa.. that was the best Vince McMahon walking to the ring impression... ever!
HBK: Hee, and you thought you knew me?
eDGe: ................. talent???


HBK: No! I'm trying to make a comeback! Give me that referee suit now! I am the main event!!
One Ref (with Irish accent): Sure ya could have. Off ya go!


eDGe: WHUDDYA MEAN I CAN'T HAVE PUDDING UNTIL I EAT MY MEAT?!


Simon: HEY! I'M VEWY COOL! SWEE? I'M LIKE WICHARD SIMMONSs!
Kane: ...ooh.. more misused talent.. **begans to cry** ... how I know ye well.
Simon: ......... Um, my shoirt's got my name on it. Swee?


Benoit: FURI-KURI !!!!


Ref: Both of these guys have won a match?! What a country.
Benoit/Jericho:


Watch as the baby Batista is hungry and is signalling its mother for food... or a main event push... whichever.


RKO: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!


HHH: You see this picture, ORTON! **taps the chair** This was when I was in Chyna.. over and over again!
Batista: NOOO!!! ORTON!!! AHH!! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING FROM THE INSIDE!
Orton: You would have done the same to me, Dave...
Batista: AHH!! THERE IS NO GOD!!! WHY!!!
HHH: It's not that ba--**glimses at the pic** OH, GOD! WHAT WAS I ON?!!!

fin.
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Old 01-13-2005, 04:00 PM   #11
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Randy Orton botches Rock Paper Scissors with an model of Chyna's c**t




Randy: Anal dwelling butt monkeys!!!
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Old 01-13-2005, 09:39 AM   #12
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I banged the bosses daughter and all i got was this world title
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Old 01-13-2005, 09:47 AM   #13
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WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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now this belt will be re-sergically attached to my waist
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Old 01-13-2005, 10:23 AM   #14
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What the... did those posts above joke about Triple H as champion, again? When will they learn.



No matter what anyone tried to tell him, Snitsky believes it is his destiny to save Ivalice.
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Old 01-13-2005, 04:19 PM   #15
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Kane, and Benoit after Ashlee Simpson's Orange Bowl performance.


Edge replicating Ashlee Simpson's Orange Bowl performance.
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Old 01-13-2005, 09:05 PM   #16
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Hey Randy, see the name on this belt? It's not on a removable plate.



Eric Bischoff: Tonight, for the World Heavyweight Championship, it's going to be Triple H vs. Batista.

Triple H: You must be tired Dave. Why don't you lie down for a bit. Say three seconds?

Batista:..................



Randy Orton's theory was correct. The glass ceiling was actually a part of a glass building, as Randy Orton proved by opening a glass door.

OR

My alien spaceship should be hear in 3-2-1.

*Alien spaceship behind Randy lands.*

JR: BAHGAWD! ORTON'S AN ALIEN?!? BAHGAWD ALL HELL IS ABOUT TO BREAK LOOSE!!!! RATTLESNAKE!!!! AUSTIN!!! AUSTIN!!! STUNNER!!!



Mike Chiota really didn't need to start doing his interpretive dance right there and then, did he?



Jack Doan in a loud and booming voice: So Hurri-buddy, how did you get to the arena tonight?

Jack Doan in a small and squeaky voice: I flew, Muhammad.

Jack Doan in loud voice: Really, Hurri-buddy?

Jack Doan in squeaky voice: Yeah, my arms are tired.

Jack Doan in load voice: I'm pretty banged up too, Hurri-buddy.

Jack Doan in quiet voice: Did you ride your camel, Muhammad?

Jack Doan in loud voice: Nope, Stephanie McMahon.

Jack Doan doing both voices at once: A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Muhammad and Hurricane together: That's why we're being kept down!!!!!



Edge: This is not a submission! Rhyno glued his legs up before the match!



Edge: You keep screwing me over, I've been waiting for a match with you for a long time.

Shawn Michaels: You had your match, then I beat you. You had another match, then I beat you again.

Edge: I have not! I want you at WerstleMania!

Shawn Michaels: No, I've already beaten you twice, Jericho

Edge: Uh, I'm not Chris Jericho.

Shawn Michaels: Haha, don't think think I'm going to fall for that. It didn't work for "Brent" Hart, it won't work for you.

Edge: .......



The spitting match was off to a good start.....



JR: BAHGAWD! Edge's head just got sucked into that inconspicuously placed vacuum!

King: Haha, Edge is like a human vacuum cleaner. He both sucks and blows, JR!



Vince McMahon: Welcome back to the writing team, Paul.

Paul Heyman: Good to be back, Mr. McMahon. What would you like me to write?

Vince McMahon: Just tell us where to go from here.

*Vince McMahon turns on giant TV screen.*

Shawn Michaels: Argh! Argh! I'm.......having.........a baby! I'm.....having........a.......Heart.......Break.........CADE!!!!!!!!!!

*The referees block our view for a minute, then they move to reveal Garrison Cade in baby attire.*

*Mike Chiota checks Shawn Michaels' pulse.*

Mike Chiota: .......He's dead.

Paul Heyman with head in hands: Oh God.....



Ode to Joy starts to play as we see the light from some kind of video screen appear from the left of the screen, and we can see in the reflection off the back wall it is of Shawn Michaels and Triple H holding down talent.

Edge: No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!



Edge: It was horrible, Christian! They were trying to brain wash me with a video of talent being held down, but someone accidentally.....

Christian (off screen): Accidentally did what Edge?

Edge: Taped over the end with "One Night in China!".



Hot air rises. Get it? Hot air? Hot air rises? The Divas are a waste of space? Empty space? Air? Hot? Hot air ris....ah forget it!



Lilian Garcia's heel turn was so barbaric. And The Gobbeldy Gooker never saw it coming.



Simon Dean: No Kane! That's my viagra!

Kane: Now you'll find out why they call me the Big.....Red....Machine!

OR

Kane: Ahahaha, now I've taken my evil pills, or epills, I shall be unstoppable!

*Kane proceeds to grow into a roughly Godzilla-sized version of himself.*

Simon Dean: IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!!!!!!!!!



Kane: Oh yeah, that got it. Thanks Dr. Gene.

Snitsky: I'm just doing my job as a chiropractor/abortionist.

OR

The Mega Zord-sky saved Simon Dean just in time.



JR: BAHGAWD! Snitsky just hacked up Kane with his pattented Mashnetty. These Snitsky puns may be lame, but they're so easy.



OK, if Kane having sexual intercourse with dead bodies wasn't enough, his Kane-ible gimmick was WAAAAAY too much.



No, it did not matter if Christian could manipulate the laws of time and space, he was not getting a push.



Benoit: OW! My foot!

Mike Chiota: What the fuck?



Benoit: Must get pickle jar open!

Jericho: BENOIT, HELP ME YOU SANCTIMONIOUS SON OF A BITCH!!!

Benoit: Oh. Sorry.



JR: BAHGAWD! "Arthritis Victim" Chris Benoit and "The Man Born Without a Mouth" Chris Jericho have done it! They've finally triumphed despite their vicious disabilities!

King:



Batista debuted his new gimmick:

Dave "Can tap into radio signals and play them out of his mouth" Batista.



Fed up with not being used, Steven Richards, wearing one boot and one knee pad, attacked Randy Orton.



Triple H: BATISTA! YOUR NOSE ..........is fine. BATISTA! YOUR EYES........are perfect.

Batista: Dammit! Stop distracting me!



Randy Orton: How does this feel, Dave?

Batista: Ugh, ugh, ugh.....great.

Triple H: While Randy treats you to your massage, do you like what I did to your eyebrows?

Batista (looks into mirror): Lovely.

God: Is that enough light there, Dave?

Batista: Yes thanks, Lord.

Triple H: I'm thinking about using some blush to bring out your cheeks, then putting giving you some eyeliner. By the way, you'll be jobbing at Mania. Then some perfume, eye shadow, mascara.....

Batista:....................


That's it I'm done! My crappy captions are finished! Yay! Once I do one caption, I have to do the rest, so a lot of them are really forced.
Last edited by Mr. Nerfect; 01-13-2005 at 09:25 PM.
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Old 01-13-2005, 11:51 PM   #17
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Triple H: This is my belt that I won last night.


Triple H: Don't be mad.
Batista: Grr.


Randy Orton: Thumbs down Triple H.


Referee: 1, 2, 3


Hurricane: I...can't...breathe.



Edge: AHHH!


Shawn Michaels: Two


Shawn Michaels: OH!


Shawn Michaels: Here I come!


Referees: Keep it cool Heartbreak Kid.


Referees: Are you ok Edge?


Edge: Watch out Shawn Michaels!


Victoria: Hey, no jumping on the bed!


Lilian: Take that!


Kane: I don't like you ok?


Gene Shitsky: Take that!


Gene Snitsky: Take that!


Kane: One day Gene Snitsky, I will get you!


Chris Benoit: Hey Christian, I didn't know you were Eddie Guerrero. How's it going friend?


Chris Benoit: Ow! My back!


Chris Jericho: Take that scallywag!


Chris and Chris: Yay we won


Batista: Cheer for me!


Randy Orton: I look funny upside down.


Triple H: Sorry Batista!


Randy Orton: Get him Triple H!
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Old 01-14-2005, 12:18 AM   #18
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LOL! For some reaosn I find those hilarious. Especially the ones that just say "Take that!" and the one with "Victoria" in it. That's Candace.

EDIT: This was directed at wwe is neat's post.
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Old 01-14-2005, 12:15 AM   #19
El Santo
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Internet fans were pissed when Trips retained the title, even after a freak accident had left him legally blind.


Triple H: "No, seriously, Dave... if you want to stay on Evolution, that tie has got to go."


Unfortunately, no matter how much he tried, that booger was still stuck to his thumb.


Shelton: "C'mon, ref! Count!"
Ref: "What-EVER! Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain't listenin'!"


Muhammed's gimmick as "Iron Shiek 2K5" came to a screeching end when he botched the camel clutch.


Edge discovers why the man he was wrestling was known as "Power Thighs" Rhyno.


Shawn fought to contain his horror as Dude Love returned --- by emerging from Edge's chest cavity.


HBK: "Gimme a break, Edge. You do NOT have laser vis-... OW! Dammit!"


The flying saucers had arrived, and HBK realized, far too late, that there was one living among them.


HBK: "Oh my GOD! You guys really are stealing all the Bud Lights!!!"


Ref: "Oops. You've a bit of underarm hair here. Let me pluck that out for you."
Edge: "Thanks, man. You're a lifesave-... Oh, Jesus, are the cameras still rolling?"


Edge couldn't help but feel upset. "The" was his least favorite word.


Candice Poppins: "That's right, children! Think of your most favorite thing in the world!"
Maria: "Candy!"
Christie: "Christmas!"
--- both float ---


I don't mind telling you, but ... these Clearance Sales are getting brutal.


Kane couldn't help it. Simon has just showed him a picture he invented called ... Li'l Brudder.


Kane: "Goddamit, Simon. Did Rhyno put you up to this?!?!"
Gene: "Sorry, Glen. It's just not coming off."


Gene: "That's right, Kane! Now I am Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Now prepare to die!"
Kane: ".... Bastard."


Kane swore that this would be the last time he'd let Lita do his lipstick.


Christian couldn't believe it. How had the glass ceiling gotten this low?


Benoit's frustration grew. He'd gotten the rubbing your tummy part ... but ... patting your head at the same time?


Jericho: "And he strikes ... da-da-da-da DA ... like Thun... der ... BALLLLLLL!!!!"


Benoit finally came to an amicable solution after he decided it was best to outsource the "patting your head" part.


Maybe it's just me, but something tells me Dave hasn't quite gotten the hang of Bhuddist meditation.


He may no longer be World Heavyweight Champion, but he still could kick anyone's ass at invisible limbo.


HHH: "Seriously, Dave, can you take a look at this? I think I broke it."


Randy: "I don't get it! What are we doing wrong?"
HHH: "Fool! When you lambada, you hold your partner like this? Do you see? LIKE THIS!"
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Old 01-14-2005, 09:35 AM   #20
Drakul
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GMTV's Fiona Phillips and Eamone Holmes,both jacked up to hell on steriods,Make there WWE debut
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Old 01-14-2005, 01:56 PM   #21
Eunos
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WWE is Neats Captions were so Rubbish that they were funny
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Old 01-14-2005, 09:57 PM   #22
Marcyo
Viva la Raza
 
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lollll
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Old 01-14-2005, 10:21 PM   #23
Nervous Ferret
love yourself
 
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I laughed through everyone of wwe is neats's captions. So I guess that makes it the funniest set I've ever read. :LOL:
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Old 01-15-2005, 02:05 AM   #24
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Well I'm glad you all liked my captions. I hope there are more soon!
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Old 01-15-2005, 02:18 AM   #25
Innovator
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El Santo good set man

The Buddhist and Benoit patting his head got me
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Old 01-16-2005, 05:35 AM   #26
Impact!
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just as christian was about to beat benoit gravity reversed itself
or
when benoit kicks out, he really kicks out

what would your face look like if you just watched 1 night in china
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Old 01-16-2005, 12:33 PM   #27
Blue Demon
WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Batista: I need an old priest and a young priest.....
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