RAW Captions [1-19-04]

[loopydate]

Hell, I'm as surprised as you guys are that they already have a picture up, but...

Fire away.

[AareDub]

ROFLMAO!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

Fans weren't sure how to react to the new stipulation that the Royal Rumble winner gets to sleep with the three FF X-2 girls.



Finally giving in to internet fans' requests, the WWE has a "useless wrestler bonfire," completely with countdown orders.

[Shake]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Finally giving in to internet fans' requests, the WWE has a "useless wrestler bonfire," completely with countdown orders.

Genius.

[loopydate]

AAMER HALEEM: And that's Madonna coming in at #31 on VH1's "100 Celebrities that loopydate Would Most Like to Shoot in the Face With a Howitzer." And now...

[Nowhere Man]

Goldberg seemed a lot less threatening when WWE started displaying the wrestlers' IQs while introducing them.

[Paranoid Rattlesnake]

Triple H finally released his 2003 who jobbed to me list

[FourFifty]

The real reason why Kane attacked Spike Dudley after the match...
It was a "Loser plays FFX-2 Match."

[FourFifty]

By god I’m bored… M’eh, guess I’ll just do some old captions for the hell of it… Should be sleeping, but m’eh.


Triple H: HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Coach: But I’m being serious, Triple H.
Triple H: Me? Without the world title? You should do standup!


Burying Sean O’Haire wasn’t enough. Triple H had to make sure he was in drag before he went under.


So far the title-ectomy wasn’t going as painlessly as Triple H hoped.


The whole Test/Shannon Moore thing didn’t go over to well with the fans.


Al: Listen Chris, I’ve seen a few episodes of Queer Eye For The Straight guy, and that shirt has GOT to go!


Eric: Now if anyone have seen Sean Morley’s career, please mail it to my office.


Well, if I saw that in the mirror every day, lord knows I’d go blind someday.


With the ref’s back turned away from the action, Max Mini applies the ankle lock on Tajiri.

Damned if I’m not sleepy now… Still bored… Enjoy, laugh, call me an idiot or a loser, pish, yeah, whatever, I’ll forget I ever did this by the time I wake up.

Yay for my 100th post!

[KayfabeMan]

You may've hid from everyone else,but even without the glasses
I know that you're Waldo goddamnit!!!

[Hired Hitman]

Originally Posted by KayfabeMan You may've hid from everyone else,but even without the glasses I know that you're Waldo goddamnit!!!

... ... ... !!!!

[Fryza]

Meh, I'm bored, so I'll do both sets today..



Hunter's reaction to when he learned Rhyno main-evented SmackDown! the other week.



One could only imagine what thoughts were going through Hunter's mind. Of course, it's safe to assume Katie Vick's lifeless body had more than him.



I guess when Flair said he was the "Dirtiest Player in the Game," he meant it, dammit.



Oddest Sleeper Hold I've ever seen.



Now Al was pissed. Chris actually tore and wore a United States flag. Chris had no idea to what Al spoke of. To redeem his country, Al simply called Chris out, by calling him a homo.



While Eric was yelling at and about random RAW workers, Chief Morley began his look hitting on random audience members.



It's sad when Vince actually writes his workers to hang themselves. Even sadder when they can't do that write.



Tajiri was confused. Is Matt Hardy actually botching the Tongan Death Grip?!

[Fryza]

So sad when a video game gets more airtime than about the entire WWE roster combined. Well, at least that middle one is good on the mic...

[Innovator]

This week's edition of Final Fantasy X-2 is brought to you by WWE RAW

[Fryza]

Originally Posted by jbone829 This week's edition of Final Fantasy X-2 is brought to you by WWE RAW

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by jbone829 This week's edition of Final Fantasy X-2 is brought to you by WWE RAW

OH MY GOD!!!!! THAT'S BETTER THAN MOST OF MY CAPTIONS (not saying much, but still)!!!!!!!!!!!

[loopydate]

Originally Posted by Fryza Well, at least that middle one is good on the mic...

LOL. Nice.

LOL..What the hell is going on in here.

[loopydate]

RVD: Okay, Matt. Kicking off the show, how many times do you think they'll play the "Final Fantasy X-2" commercial?



Christian was in trouble. It was bad enough that he was bent over in position for the Axe Kick, but he didn't realize that Booker was also conjuring up a Hadoken!



Christian, WWE's Cartwheel Teacher, was not known for being gentle.

CHRISTIAN: Go over, dammit!



Frustrated, Christian let his apprentice Matt take a crack at it.



CHRISTIAN: That's good. Now, just roll the rest of the way...



Jericho didn't know what to think. Maybe he SHOULD shake hands with Rene as sort of a goodwill gesture, but...did Rene HAVE to masturbate while they did it?



Rene "Decaptiator" Dupree celebrated his first WWE singles victory.



Jericho thought he had the match won until Dupree pinched him. Hard.



Mmm...noodle soup! DAMMIT!

*Rep (if possible) to (s)he who gets the reference*



Rico was elated. Santa was real! He got JUST what he wanted...four weeks late.



RICO: Damn you, Xanta Klaus, you sly trickster!



Spike was scared of the impending two-handed chokeslam, but what really freaked him out was the komodo dragon climbing up Kane's leg.



Glen "Boo-Boo Kisser" Jacobs unveils yet another new gimmick.



TEST: Okay, Scott. Now, you hook his tights, lift, and fall back.
SCOTT: What's this called again?
TEST: It's a suplex.
GOLDBERG: Suhpluh?



Goldberg got Scotty with the old "Hey, somebody left a 'roid needle on the canvas" gag.



Bill was confused. Scott had the Superman logo on his tights, but when he threw him off the building...he just fell.



The ref could tell the fans were losing interest. The Steiner/Goldberg match was in Hour Seventeen. It was finally time to bust out...the REFAROONIE!



Falling asleep mid-promo: Another side effect of being a Drunken, Idiotic Redneck. Grab a pink slip.



Turning on your headlights when you're inside a well-lit arena: Another side effect of being a Drunken, Idiotic Redneck. Grab a pink slip.



TRISH: Why do you have Mae Young on speed-dial?



That bastard Mayor McCheese had tricked him! That was the thought running through Teddy's mind as he's getting mauled by the Orange Fry Guy.



Jazz revealed what wrestling fans had long suspected: Lita had (literally) no ass.



*Does anyone else think it looks like they just Photoshopped Hurricane into this picture?*

While Randy Orton does his best Buff Bagwell taunt, Hurricane prepares for a Blockbuster. All part of Vince's "Ha ha! I fired you before the Invasion appreciation night."



The Old Guy, the Leviathan, the SHIT, and the Hurricane had gathered: Village People 2004 were set to take over the world!



D-VON: Hey, Ric! Do one of those ballet jumps. I'll catch you.
RIC: Okay...
BUBBA: Heheheh...
DAVE: No! It's a trap!



D-Von didn't know if he wanted any part of this. Coach and Bubba were walking around, fingers extended, trying to blind the Giant Steven Richards. For D-Von, though, it didn't seem quite...Christian.



One Giant Stevie Kick later, and the plot fell apart.

BUBBA: I got him...
COACH: Not me, you idiot...uhhhhnnnn...



While Randy Orton enjoyed his new invisible chair, Mark Henry tried his new invisible jetpack, and Teddy Long did his world-famous New Jack impression, the audience was left with one unified thought:



JR: You lift one mid-carder, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt...

KING: There's a reason they didn't let you sing folk songs on Originals.

[Tornado]

Originally Posted by loopydate Mmm...noodle soup! DAMMIT! *Rep (if possible) to (s)he who gets the reference*

Friends, the one where Joey auditions against Ben for a soup advert.

[wrestling_god]

After seeing sheriff Austin riding around on his Atv deputy Rico decided its time that he gets a cool set of wheels



unfortunatly Ricos was a transformer

[El Santo]

Rob knew he should have been paying attention, but someone in the crowd was doing the naked fan dance...



Christian: "Dude, Booker, the ref's checkin' out your ass."
Booker: "WHHHAAAATTT?!?!?"



And tonight, on a very special RAW, we find out if Booker T is really Shaniqua in a really unconvincing disguise.



The plan backfires, and suddenly the whole world realizes that Christian is a shapeshifter!



Ref: "Oh, man, that blow knocked me out. I was unconscious for, like, three minutes there. That's never happened before. Heh. Now back to the matc- ... OH MY GOD!!!!"



Jericho was flattered by the proposal, but ... what would Trish say?



As Renee brags about the size of his package, Jericho collapses to the ground in astonishment.



Ref: "I'm afraid it's true, Renee. You have a bald spot developing right here."
Renee: *Le sob*



"Wool jacket in a heated auditorium. What was I thinking?"




Mark Henry may be a poor wrestler, but he was fast for a big guy. During the first "WWE Man vs. Man-Beast Invitational", he and his jockey Rico lead the race while the speed-walking ref is left behind in the dust.



Mark Henry: "Mmmm.. Rico... did you have chicken tenders for lunch?"
Rico: "How did you... Ugghhhhh, GROSS!"



The minute Spike unleashed his Supersonic Girly Scream, Kane knew that it was only a matter of seconds before he would succumb.



After his massive de-push, Glenn Jacobs was sadly forced to take a side job as head lice inspector.



It was all Test and Steiner could do to help the drunken, disoriented Goldberg out of the ring.



Test and Goldberg calmly wait while Scott re-inflates his right arm.




Scott: "Oh, no... no one does the 'Running Man' in my ring!"



"So, let me get this straight. When the big hand is on the three and the little hand is on the six, it's... no, one tell me, I can figure it out...."



The whole "Austin's too injured for the active roster" angle went too far when they had Austin go to the grocery in a motorized shopping cart.



Christian: "It's soooo cool! It lets you take pictures and send email and surf the ... What the hell!?!??! Final Fantasy X-2?!?!?!"



Teddy knew he should be saying something about "racism" or "putting the man down", but ... he was getting manhandled by Lita. That wasn't something any heterosexual male should complain about.



The ladies were blissfully unaware that they were being ogled by that quintissential pervert, Slimy the Worm.



Hurricane admitted that it did look fun, but the hokey-pokey was just not his thing.



Flair: "Holy Jesus! You guys are still stuck in those dead-end gimmicks?"



Randy tried to get Naitch out of the ring, but to no avail: there was no escape from the seductive siren call of the YMCA.



Coach: "Weeee... are the champions.... my frie-end...."
D-Von: "Goddamn, where can I get me one of them kicky berets?"



Bubba: "Give me a second, D-Von. Hmmm... looks like a Tommy Hillfiger."



Teddy would never live down the day when he blew out the nastiest booger on national television.

[ColdwaVer]

RVD: WTF Matt, are you trying out to be a Superbowl referee?



Booker T signals to a sniper in the rafters to shoot Christian in the ass.



WWE presents a new definition for "giving head."



Referee: Dammit RVD, put your damn pants back on!!!



Matt: Well, this is one way to "go over."



Jericho couldn't beleive the Frenchman would actually recreate the scene from American Pie 2.



"WEST SI-EEEEE-DAH!"



The look on Jericho's face may seem confusing, but you can't see where Dupree's OTHER foot is.



Long punches himself in the face when he realizes the irony of his wearing a white suit.



WWE has REALLY sunk to a new low: to save money on transportation, heavyweights will now start to give rides to smaller superstars.



Henry takes the "knuckle sandwich" concept literally.



Spike's suspicions that spitting on Kane's head would stop him did not pan out.



Kane: "Pssst... it says balls on your shirt!"


Steiner: My god, did you go on a deodorant strike when WCW got sold or what?



Test and Steiner were going to try a "forced oral" move on Goldberg, but the plot was foiled when Steiner's arms were to roided up to bend far enough to unzip his own fly.




Golberg: Look! I really can carry someone!!!
Steiner: Get your hand off my balls.
Goldberg: You don't have any, the roids shrank them to nothing.
Steiner: HEY! That's two roid jokes in a row!!!
Goldberg: I guess Coldwaver is running out of ideas.



Having run out of ideas, Steiner decides to give Goldberg a shoulder rub while awaiting instructions from the Titan Tron.



"The world of real emotion has surrounded me... WHAT?"



Apparently Austin's quad has a built in toilet as well.



Trish: Why do you have a picture of HHH's penis on your phone?
Christian: Well he showed up halfway through the night to hold down our partying skills. (long pause) HEY! How do you recognize HHH's penis???



Long was ecstatic to be pulled into the middle of two wild women.



After the match Long chided Jazz for giving millions of white boys exactly what they wanted.



Orton was stunned as he caught a full on look at the Hurri-package.



Rosey: You killed him, didn't you?!



It's common knowledge in the lockerroom that one more bump could cause Flair to come apart at the seams, so Batista makes the save to avoid losing his spot in Evolution.



Coach: I fart in your general direction!



Bubba: Whose father smelt of elderberries now, biyatch!!!



After breaking the first Teddy Long, Henry simply poops out a replacement.



Golberg threw Orton so high up in the air that he won't come down until #29 in the Rumble.

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by ColdwaVer "The world of real emotion has surrounded me... WHAT?"

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by ColdwaVer WWE has REALLY sunk to a new low: to save money on transportation, heavyweights will now start to give rides to smaller superstars.

Hmm... that one gives me an idea.




Mark Henry was duped again when Ric Flair convinced him to give Rico a ride all the way to Green Bay because Rico's car had broken down.


As if to stick it to internet fans, Rene Dupree entered the ring to taunt after Brock Lesnar found out Jericho was the one leaking out spoilers to the press.

[Corkscrewed]

Matt: "Dude... I'm like... holding up the glass ceiling... man..."
RVD: "I should really start hiding my stash better."


This picture of a Hacksaw Jim Duggan-style pose by Booker T was later on sale on eBay for $29.99.

OR

Booker T called desperately for help. Christian Wiggum had eaten the poisonous berries again.


It was a long and arduous process, complicated by a leg first delivery, but in the end, Christian gave birth to a healthy Booker T.


Unfortunately, nurse Hardy dropped him on the floor while Doctor Ref's back was turned.


Ref: "WHOA! I never saw THIS one in the WWE Gay Kama Sutra!"


Rene was the latest wrestler to discover his ability to manipulate the Butterfly Effect... at least on opponents' hands anyway.


Dupree unveiled his new Ultimate Warrior 2004 gimmick by bouncing straight up after a Lionsault and a Flashback and then proceeding to gorilla press Jericho onto the canvas.


Tsk tsk tsk, Jericho. Shoulda taken Immodium AD.


Teddy Long's new "Gimme soup!" slogan was met with less enthusiasm than his previous "Shoot this guy in the ass!" motto.


Rico had to be careful when riding a wild Black Hippopatomus. These things could be incredibly unstable...


...as seen when this one reared up and tried to attack him. Fortunately, Rico knew that punching one in its weak spot--the mouth--would freak it out and make it run away because it was afraid it wouldn't be able to eat for a while.


Low sacrifice value or not, Kane was offering SOMEBODY to the Altar of Helmsley!!


As if Kane's psycho gimmick wasn't already buried enough, fans REALLY started doubting the credibility of his character when he started whispering sweet nothings to Spike Dudley.


While Test happily continued munching away, Steiner got full after his fifth serving of Goldberg rib.


All THREE wrestlers' were momentarily distracted when they spotted a shiny penny over by the edge of the ring at the same time.


Well, I guess this answers the age-old question: If two wrestlers as crappy as Steiner and Goldberg got into a match, who would be the one carrying the other?


Yeah. Definitely Goldberg.

OR

Steiner takes his chances riding a rare WHITE Hippopatomus.


Even Austin was getting impatient as the FF X-2 commercial marathon entered its seventh hour.


Having finally gotten directions the previous week, Austin was sure he could make it to Texas without anymore help this time!


Trish wasn't too impressed when Christian showed her his collection of Trish Stratus cleavage shots he'd stocked up on over the years.


Long's swimsuit model pose wasn't met with much enthusiasm.


Playboy was so desperate that they hired Jazz as a secret agent to get Lita's clothes off.


Hurricane got really confused when his Ortonbot started flailing around and acting like a monkey.


I got nothing.


If Flair could just avoid the Batista trap, the table, and the bumble bees, he just might make it through this jogger's obstacle course.


Coach gave his guess at how many more Final Fantasy commercials they'd show in the next five minutes. Bubba was less optimistic at so low a number.


Bubba: "I TOLD YOU THERE'D BE SIX MORE!!!!"


Seeing the largest piece of shit ever coming his way, Teddy Long dived for cover.


Orton, Goldberg's new tutor, decided to use a hands-on approach combined with viewing results on the Titantron to teach Goldberg the letters of the alphabet.


Not my best, but I'm in a rush and have to get to class. I do a few over later, since some of the pics offer some really good caption opportunities.

[Sephiroth]

Matt in a gay like way: I told you like so many times! Don't shout to me in the ring.
RVD: But Sugar, It's just a act.



Rene: I love you baby! When i look at you, I love you baby!
Jericho: Stop it,Stop it, I told you i am straight now.



Evolution came to the ring to have an orgy with Rosey.


Devon: Your momma is so fat!!!
Flair: MOMMA!!!!!
Batista: No, it's a trick, Your momma is fatter then that!

[Fryza]

..and then Matt tripped on his face...



Booker T must have read the Art of War. While Christian prepared for the Axe Kick, Booker instead jacked him in the jaw with his knee. That crafty Booker.



And here we see the ref teaching Christian how to play leap frog at Booker's expense.

OR

This is not what they mean when they say "you went over someone" Christian.



While Matt took on Booker, the ref made sure those crowd members knew their places.



When not sure what to do, Matt unleash the oddest headbutt move ever seen.



Jericho was confused. It almost seemed like Rene was doing DDP's last gimmick...but at the same time, he wasn't. Ah, but the ref should know!



Wow, Hunter's invisble crucfix now targets anybody for no reason...



Then it hit Jericho, he'd have to job later that night to Mark Henry.



Long: I am, getting so hot, I will...

*RAW suddenly cuts to commercial*



Poor Henry was being held down by talent, until; Charles "The Flash" Robinson came in for the save.



Rico with a punch to the front teeth, and...wait..wait, no, Henry blocks with his bottom teeth and begins to eat Rico. Okay, I guess that is a first..



Kane's reaction to Spike telling him the truth about Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and how Kane should have switched to Geico.



And then Kane drug Spike's ear to his mouth and whispered the most evil, foul, and vile thing EVER heard by any man:

Kane: ..I'm not wearing any underwear!

Spike was then sent to the hospital after a severe and odd case of convulsions.



Proof Steiner has ADD. As soon as they go for a suplex, he spots a random audience member and mistakes them for a bird. Meanwhile, Test has troubles trying to figure out how to carry Gorillaberg.



Goldberg and Steiner both got enraged when the camera-man bad mouthed Americans. Test just laughed it off, mustly at the fact that the man said "African," and neither Scott or Bill understood it.



Where will you be when your diarrhea acts up?



Notice the tricky ref going in for that leg sweep. Not only will it break Steiner's legs and back, but it'll cause Steiner to break Goldberg's neck. This ref was taught WELL by Hunter.



Austin: Okay, now, I have been told we are NOT in Texas. Which confuses me as hell, because someone told me there was a Milwaukee around here...



Holy hell, Austin's Time ATV ACTUALLY works!...wait...wait no...that's a green screen...nevermind..



Xtian: And this was when we stole that lawn gnome from Kane's yard...



Because of Lita, Long's face turn was finished, complete with the "Please don't kiss the bald guy" gimmick.



HA HA! Rhyno STRIKES again! AHAHA!



Look at Orton's right leg! His right leg is giving out! His quad is tearing! He's pulling a Kevin Nash! HA!



This scene would have made a GREAT showdown pic...then you see the ref trying to be Waldo there in the background...



It's lucky Batista was there to get Flair and hold him back. Ric didn't like people messing up the YMCA dance.



Once again, we turn on the Randy Orton Telepathetic Helmet to clue in on the thoughts of our favorite black guys...and Coach!

Coach: I feel like an Elvis impersonator..

D-Von: ...you put your right foot in, and then you shake it all about...

Bubba: Well if Coach can do this and have good mic skills, then it should work for me..



And Bubba with the eye poke through Coach's glasses...



It's sad when Long has to hold a pose of horror and Orton has to help Mark with his first attempt at a flying cross body block on Long..



Bill liked his new hat. Safe to say, Orton and his currently high pitced voice didn't take kindly to their new status.

[Russell Crowe]

Originally Posted by Fryza Xtian: And this was when we stole that lawn gnome from Kane's yard...

Oh my God! Pure Genious!

Side note, are the wrinkles on Trish's right (our left) breast in just the right place to make a WWF logo, or is it just me?

[ilt_undertaker]

Originally Posted by Fryza Proof Steiner has ADD. As soon as they go for a suplex, he spots a random audience member and mistakes them for a bird. Meanwhile, Test has troubles trying to figure out how to carry Gorillaberg. Where will you be when your diarrhea acts up? Once again, we turn on the Randy Orton Telepathetic Helmet to clue in on the thoughts of our favorite black guys...and Coach! Coach: I feel like an Elvis impersonator.. D-Von: ...you put your right foot in, and then you shake it all about... Bubba: Well if Coach can do this and have good mic skills, then it should work for me.. It's sad when Long has to hold a pose of horror and Orton has to help Mark with his first attempt at a flying cross body block on Long..

[Blue Demon]

Ref: Oooooh...so THAT'S where it goes...

[loopydate]

I finally finished mine.

[Blue Demon]

Everybody leave...I have to poop...NOW!

Matt, "Now What"
Rob, "Now just think lovely thoughts"
Matt, "Nothing's happening Rob"
Rob, "I don't know it worked yesterday in my basement."



When seeing Booker T trying to bring back The Nation, HHH quickly signaled for an emergency Kamehameha attack to put a quick stop to this uprising.



Christian, "Look it goes through one ear and out the other."
Ref, "Holy Crap, what a trick."


Ref, "OK come on Christian, trick's over, put that thing away."
Matt, "Christian, one more time."




The Ref was able to catch Matt's honarable attempt at a sunset flip as he awoke from his nap.




At least somebody is bowing down to the King of The World.



"Jesus 'Rene Dupree' Christ prepares to do the impossible and raise the dead.




Hebner, "....I even swore on my wife and kids that I wasn't in on it."
Dupree, "Okay Earl we know"



Even Teddy Long had to punch himself in the face a couple of times during a Mark Henry match.


WWE's live action Mark Henry mechanical bull ride was a hot seller on Shopzone.


Kudos to Spike at doing an Ultimate Warrior impression while being chocked by kane.


Kane was so confused as to where his huge push went, he starts looking through Spike's head.


Test, "Scott, suplex on five."
Scott, "One. Two. Three......Oh shit what's next



Steiner shows Goldberg how to 'Walk the Dog' with his yo-yo.


Nice Half-Assed Steiner Recliner Scott.



Austin, "Wait, and go slow this time, A Cruiserweight is a what?



Before thier match, wrestlers were now forced to watch the HHH-Michaels match from Raw a couple of weeks ago via mobile phone in order to learn the correct way on how to sell for best friends.


I guess somebody's been guzzling down those YJ Stingers.


Flair was confused as he didn't realize the WWE started letting fans take part in matches if they came in costume.


While Devon was mesmorized by Coach's rendition of "I Have a Dream," Bubba protested the speech by throwing up Nazi signs.



Teddy Long coudln't bare to watch Mark Henry preform a 619.

sorry

[loopydate]

My favorites so far (yeah, there's a lot, but...who cares?):

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Dupree unveiled his new Ultimate Warrior 2004 gimmick by bouncing straight up after a Lionsault and a Flashback and then proceeding to gorilla press Jericho onto the canvas. Teddy Long's new "Gimme soup!" slogan was met with less enthusiasm than his previous "Shoot this guy in the ass!" motto. All THREE wrestlers' were momentarily distracted when they spotted a shiny penny over by the edge of the ring at the same time. Even Austin was getting impatient as the FF X-2 commercial marathon entered its seventh hour. Hurricane got really confused when his Ortonbot started flailing around and acting like a monkey.

Originally Posted by Fryza Wow, Hunter's invisble crucfix now targets anybody for no reason... Long: I am, getting so hot, I will... *RAW suddenly cuts to commercial* Kane's reaction to Spike telling him the truth about Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and how Kane should have switched to Geico. Proof Steiner has ADD. As soon as they go for a suplex, he spots a random audience member and mistakes them for a bird. Meanwhile, Test has troubles trying to figure out how to carry Gorillaberg. Where will you be when your diarrhea acts up? Notice the tricky ref going in for that leg sweep. Not only will it break Steiner's legs and back, but it'll cause Steiner to break Goldberg's neck. This ref was taught WELL by Hunter. Xtian: And this was when we stole that lawn gnome from Kane's yard... It's lucky Batista was there to get Flair and hold him back. Ric didn't like people messing up the YMCA dance. Once again, we turn on the Randy Orton Telepathetic Helmet to clue in on the thoughts of our favorite black guys...and Coach! Coach: I feel like an Elvis impersonator.. D-Von: ...you put your right foot in, and then you shake it all about... Bubba: Well if Coach can do this and have good mic skills, then it should work for me.. It's sad when Long has to hold a pose of horror and Orton has to help Mark with his first attempt at a flying cross body block on Long.. Bill liked his new hat. Safe to say, Orton and his currently high pitced voice didn't take kindly to their new status.

[Corkscrewed]

Rene Dupree unveiled a new, quirkier dimension to his character as he turned and farted in the cameraman's general direction.

Kudos to Spike at doing an Ultimate Warrior impression while being chocked by Kane. Teddy Long couldn't bear to watch Mark Henry preform a 619.

LMAO!

[FourFifty]

While Matt Hardy was showing off his Version 1.0 taunt, Rob was eyeing the cotton candy, wishing that Rhyno would come over to ease his munchies.


Okay, we all know the match sucked, but did the ref have to kick the WWE logo?


Could someone please tell the ref that right now is not the best time to practice his “Stuck In A Box” mime routine?


And the guest ref for this match, Billy, Zack Gowen’s best friend!


Worst. Springboard Powerbomb. Ever.


Rene: Please, time out! It itches! It itches!


Poor Rene doesn’t understand the American sense of humor. The “Shoot That Man In The Ass” joke only works when you’re pointing to someone’s ass!


Jericho had to hold Rene in place for the staring contest against the ref. Needless to say, much like the French do, Rene didn’t even try.


After all of Mark Henry’s no sell last week to The Walls Of Jericho, Teddy Long had to do SOMETHING to make the fans think that someone is hurt.


The new “Ride Me Henry” action figure did not go over well.


No! Rico! Don’t! If you punch him in the mouth, he’ll eat your hand!


Spike: Oh my god! I’m getting elevated!
Kane: Any “Kane Is Holding Up Talent” jokes will be answered with a swift throw to the ground…


Kane took great pride in making his “Spikebot.” He was so proud he had to build it at ringside.


Test: Damn it Scott! Why aren’t you lifting?
Scott: I think my arm just sprung a leak!!
Goldberg: Yeah, he did. I could feel the koolaid run down my head.


Somehow Scott knew that Test and Goldberg didn’t quite do the battering ram right…

[FourFifty]

Do I make the “Holding up talent” or “Keeping Goldberg down” joke..


No, this wasn’t part of the match. The ref got his own Shoe commercial, but no one saw it because they left the room when the FFX2 commercial came on.


Austin, still with his WWE tattoo from last week, has no idea that the little kid behind him knows who Tugboat is.


No one really knew how to respond to Austin’s new black and white Mohawk…


(based on real life)
Christan: See! It’s a line, and you have to get the dots! Every time you get a dot, the line grows, and you can’t stop the line! Yeah, my cell phone games rule!
Trish: If this is your way you try to impress women, then I hope you have a lot of hand lotion…


Teddy Long always wanted to have a white girl all over her, but since Lita let her beard grow out…


There’s nothing sexual here. It’s just Jazz, loading the ass cannon.


Randy’s Ric Flair strut was so bad that The Hurricane had to jump out of the ring.


Naich: I’m sorry Rosey, but Evolution has to take you out.
Rosey: Why?
Naich: Because even though you and The Hurricane are pretty much jobbers, you’re still over.


To make sure Evolution didn’t try anything funny, Bubba Ray and D-Von decided to 3D the invisible man as a warning shot.


D-Von: 3D or Wedgie… 3D or Wedgie…


Needless to say that was the biggest fuckin’ wedgie, through a table ever. To add insult to injury, Bubba flicked the Coach in the ear a few times.


Randy’s newest gimmick is being a wrestling historian. First he talks about the wrestlemania where Hulk Hogan and The Warrior fought, and then he takes it one step farther by becoming Duke “The Dumpster” Drose, as he takes out the trash.


Even Goldberg makes a sacrifice to the Altar of Helmsley.

[FourFifty]

The Bad News: Seems Rico, Mark Henry, and Scott Steiner do not have any clue how to do a camel clutch.


The Good News: Steve Austin publicly apologized for wasting everyone’s time with his segments on the new WWE cd.


And the heavens opened up to enlighten Scott Steiner…
Steiner: It’s a suplex!!!!


It’s kinda sad when people make a cell phone that fits in your first.


Spike: My face! My face! Stop ripping at my face!
Kane: Not until I take off your mask so Scooby and the gang knows who took my push!