WWE SmackDOWN! Captions [2-5-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

Los fotos primero.

[Corkscrewed]

As if the Bashams weren't heel enough, Danny had to stop mid-match and ram his finger into poor Jimmy Corderas' nose!


Rikishi & Scotty: "Pixie... twins... acti--"
Danny: "OH NO! Not that joke again!"


Little did Rikishi know that Gollum was ready to strike and reclaim his precious!


The ref quickly sprays Rikishi with Tag Team Title brand deodorant to prevent the whole crowd from passing out.


Rikishi: "Um... Scotty. We should stop now, or those evil smarks are going to start making HGA jokes again."
Scotty: "Can't!! Damn that Rhyno!!"


Scotty: "I'm so happy!!! This is like a dream come true!" *looks down* "Shit, no pants? This IS a dream!!!" *sob*


Cena stared, frozen in shock, as the youthful, seductive Dawn Marie slowly transformed into the wrinkled, withery Mae Young before his very eyes.


Heyman: "No, Dawn Marie turning into Mae Young is NOT a trick by Triple H to humiliate over-popular wrestlers into retiring forever!!!"


As he slow danced with Big Show and remembered last week's near proposal from Eddie, Billy Gunn couldn't help but think the WWE was running out of gimmicks for his character.


Big Show: "Swing me Billy!"
Gunn: "Um... Show? I didn't know you had the Dr. Jho operation too..."
See old Loopydate caption for reference


When the Big Show wouldn't listen to Nick Patrick please to break the hold, Nick had to resort to more desperate measures, like drawing out his over-the-shoulder samurai blade.


To further solidify his heel status, Big Show choked Billy Gunn while the Giant Sky Wrench repeated clocked him in the back of the head.


".................. UH, OH!"


Lesnar: "Lemme get this straight... drinking three glasses of tequila before you come out helps you cut crazy promos?? Sweet!"


(after Brock downs a bottle of tequila)
Brock: "Eddie... just shaddup and KISS ME!"


Once he was drunk, Brock underwent some drastic changes.


By the end of the drunken stage, Brock had shrivelled down to the size of a small, stumbling cruiserweight.

OR

Noble: "No, that's still not how you bend it like Beckham."


The Velocity wrestlers showed up for the monthly "Get your shoes stolen by a SmackDOWN! wrestler" part of the program.


The submission move was bad enough, but did Noble really have to let his backwater roots get the best of him and start rubbing his crotch against Kidman's thigh?


Suddenly, Nidia realized it. He CAN see me!

Eh... that was bad. How about another?

Nidia wasted no time whipping out Noble's wallet to buy that cute human-sized turtle standing in the crowd.


Rue demonstrates the amazing before and after effects of Playboy airbrushing.


Ever the gentleman, Rey Rey waited patiently on the other side of the ring while Chavo Jr. helped his dad put his contacts back on.


It was an ingenious contraption. Pulling the trigger released the referee Charles Robinson snap arm, which struck against the Rey Mysterio light, thereby setting off the Chavo Guerrero Fart Cannon.


Chavo, having never attended the Isaac Yankem School of Dentistry, had an awfully hard time with Mysterio's mouth.


Angle couldn't help himself but rub Steven Richards' pecs during the middle of the match.


Angle and Holly might be professional wrestlers, but obviously, neither man completely grasped the concept of arm wrestling.


Angle: "Put me down!!! Someone's going to think you're actually carrying me in this match!!!"


Angle kindly took the time to enlightened ignorant Bob on what the "Stephanie Position" was.


Hebner (reading Bob's new shoulder tattoo): "'I am a worthless bitter old bigot whose ass can get owned by any man near or over my size.' Aha! So he admits!!!"


Luckily, Heyman intervened before Big Show could eat Kurt Angle.


Even while he was cutting a promo, Cena always had time to teach Goldberg, who was sitting to the side off screen, a new word with his new letter knuckles.


Heyman had officially lost his mind when he suddenly turned, pointed, and called the Frost Giant a homo.

[Corkscrewed]

Oh man, definitely not my night. Oh well, the rest of you guys will come in and save the thread.

[Nowhere Man]

Look who's back in the saddle, baby!



Due to the more flexible rules imposed by WWE, wrestlers would no longer be disqualified for calling referees homos. The Bashams were the first to exploit this to the fullest.



Attempting to appeal to a more sophisticated audience, WWE has their wrestlers reenact famous works of art. Here's Scotty and Rikishi's rendition of Michaelangelo's "The Birth of Man."



Ref: Come on, man, you can do it! It's only a simple splash!
Basham: No, I can't! I can't do the jump. I'm not letting go of these ropes!
Ref: It's not that bad, man. There's nothing to be scared of.
Basham: Scared? I'm not scared! It's that fucker Rhyno again!



Ref: Okay, okay, take it! Just put that armpit away!!!



Scotty: Ever see the opening to Dawn of the Dead?
Rikishi: No....why?
Scotty: Oh, no reason....*chomp*



Scotty's smile faded when he felt a draft down below. They may have won the battle, but Doug "Pants-er" Basham won the war.



Cena: ACK! Who the hell are you?
Dawn Marie: I'm your conscience! I'm here to help you with your next moral dilemma.
Cena: Really, that's great! I usually get attacked by tiny versions of ECW....oh, damn. You were in ECW, too, right?
Dawn Marie: Well.....*smack*



Once again, Smackdown gets the shaft in terms of money, and the props department can't afford to give Cena a real gun.



Show: So which one of us is supposed to carry the other to a watchable match?
Gunn:......ummmm......
Show:........We're fucked, aren't we?
Gunn: Yup.



WWE's first ever Square-Dance Deathmatch went off without a hitch.



The referee finally breaks the choke hold by KO'ing Show with the Bionic Elbow.



Show: Don't you EVER call me a Casket Surfer again!!!



After successfully defending the US Title, Big Show decides to fire up the crowd by starting The Wave.



Sure, Eddie hated Brock, but he was always a sucker for hearing him sing "Love Me Tender"



Eddie: And that's why I'm going to be the next....Hey! Wake up!!!



At this precise moment, every internet fan on Earth collectively ruined their pants.



Hey, since when was Cheech ever a referee?



Jamie Noble really needed to work on his Ric Flair impression.



His Jericho impression, though, was spot on.



Nidia shows off her coat she made after giving A-Train his bikini wax.



Rue: So who in the hell cares about this crap anyway?



As Rey and the Chavos struggled to get free, the ring crew made a mental note to never let Rhyno help out with setting up the ropes.



Rey would have easily won the match here, if Steven Richards hadn't locked Charles Robinson in the Rings of Saturn.



Chavo Jr. gets his revenge on Mysterio for leaving him there to die back in 'Nam, when that landmine took his right arm.



Angle proves to be the superior wrestler by countering the hammerlock with a rousing version of "I Will Always Love You"



I know it's easy to botch some of the more complicated moves out there, but when you can't even do a simple tie-up right, I think it's time to change your profession.



Ref: Whoah! Aren't you at least gonna take him out to dinner first?!

(Yeah, I keep telling myself "no gay jokes," but this one was too obvious to pass up)



I don't mind the cameramen always sneaking in cleavage shots of Trish all the time. It's the blatant Kurt Angle crotch shots that have got to stop.



Apparently Shaniqua forgot to give her monster some feet. Kurt was happy to oblige.



Kurt: Hey Show, there's a WCW secondary Title on you shirt.
Show: Ha! Like I'm stupid enough to fall for that!



Cena's freestyle came to a tragic end when his face spontaneously imploded.

[Rock Bottom]

Ref: Come on break it up! 1! 2! 3! 4!
Basham: Shut up!
Ref: Intimidation only works on refs when you're taller than them.
Basham: ...Uhhh, smell my finger?


Rikishi desperately tried to save Scotty from being caught in that tractor beam, but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.


Realizing that they were not as over as he would like, the Basham farted in the general direction of the fans.


Confused with Rikishi's anatomy, the ref chivalrously tries to cover Rikishi the moment he sees hair.


Rikishi was a hero and Scotty was saved from the tractor beam. Scotty showed his appreciation by offering himself as a snack.


Scotty and Rikishi celebrate being the only tag team left in the WWE as the Basham was sucked into O'Hare's cage.


Dawn: Mhm, mommy wants to keep her boy healthy.
Cena: But ma, I'm like, in my 20's.


Dawn: Oh hey Paul.
Cena: *suckle suckle*
Paul: ...My own son!?


Show uses his own body to block Billy away from the tractor beam.


Billy was so thankful, he shook Show's hand. But Show realized Billy was in on the plan to lure Show into the tractor beam!


As Show grew angry at Gunn, the ref tried to break them up - but apparently the Show's fleas spread instantaneously.


Just when the show was ready to throw Billy into the way of the tractor...


...Billy's bait had worked! Show had taken the golden turkey leg and was now being beamed into O'Hare's cage!


Brock: Eddie... How did you do it?
Eddie: It's simple. Apparently Steph digged my kiss when I "rolled my R's" into her mouth.


Brock: I don't believe you. You mean to tell me you're getting a push for being a good kisser?
Eddie: Wanna find out, ese..?


Here comes the heat!


Holly: Squeal like a pig boy! PAY YOUR DUES
Angle: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Holly: THIS IS WHY THEY CALL ME SPARKY ****ING PLUG!


Holly and Angle are giggling like mad.
Holly: "I TOLD you that's what it looked like!"


Is it me or are these pics really not inspiring? Half of these I couldn't even make myself laugh on. Bad week, maybe. Ending up taking alot of them out.

Edit: Going to try again when I'm awake.

[Corkscrewed]

Oh. Damn. Nowhere Man, I can't really put your whole post in the archive, even though I kinda can't avoid it.... this is gonna be a problem.

On the other hand, at least Nowhere Man's blazing trail of captions saved the readers from my crap!

Seriously. I at least chuckled at every single caption. That's quite an accomplishment. I think only Lamuella has ever done that, so pat yourself on the back and buy yourself a Coke Slurpee. Those were all incredible. I knew I was in for a great ride when I read the first caption, which used the ever reliable Homo joke in a new and innovative way. I was gonna do that myself, but I probably would have screwed up the deliver. You, however, did not.

[Rock Bottom]

Yeah, I agree. Most of mine were duds as well. Nowhere is a hero.

Rep

[Vega]

Rikishi had finally done it. He had won the title for the fattest man on Smackdown, just surpassing the Big Show's weight with that last chimichanga grande special.

[Sephiroth]

Basham:And i am telling you, my finger doesn't smell like shit.


Rikishi: Give me low 5
Scotty 2 Hotty: Tag me, Tag me
Rikshi: To Slow, Look Cool.


Rikishi:That was one burger to much.


Rikishi: Look at me i am fat!
Ref: Yes you are, take your belt
Rikishi: Can i eat it.
Ref: No, but you can try.


Scotty: No, it was a joke MacDonalds isn't burned down, stop crying!



Cena: There is something in your nose.


Cena: So you swallow
Heyman: WTF, who told you that!



Lesnar: So you are telling me that i ain't latino.


Eddie: Ese, your eyes are so blue, and your hair is so short,kiss me ese.



Cena: So what is my line again?

[loopydate]

Okay, let's hope these are better than my RAW caps:



DOUG: Hey, who YOU callin' bald?



The ref darted off-screen to check his rulebook. Seconds later, he returned to inform Scotty that using his new web-shooter to fire a blue nylon cord to Rikishi didn't count as a legal tag.



After the success of the John Cena Gargoyles, WWE decided to try their luck with other SmackDown superstars.



RIKISHI: We are the Na--
REF: NOOOOOOOOO! Not another old stable re-formed with failed mid-carders! Here! Take a title! Just don't finish that chant!



Rikishi's symbiotic thong finally decided it was tired of being crammed up that ass, and started to trickle slowly down his leg, so as not to attract attention.



Well, this title reign is off to a good start. One champion's holding the belt upside-down, and the other one is wearing nothing but an elbow pad.



John was shocked. His new Dawn Marie Blow-Up Doll was so lifelike!



JOHN: Bang!
PAUL: GAH!



SHOW: Did I get him?
GUNN: No, he's still kinda hangin' out. Why did you put the Ultimo Dragon up your nose?



BILLY: Hi, I'm Billy Gunn. I haven't had a good match in five years, but I keep getting pushed.
SHOW: You don't have to keep introducing yourself. Everyone knows who you are.
BILLY: Oh, really? Even that Rhyno guy?
SHOW: Yeah, why do you-- Oh, damn.



Nick "Paratrooper" Patrick arrived to officiate the match in typical stylish fashion.



LIPS ON BILLY'S CROTCH: Hey! Let go!
SHOW/GUNN:



SHOW: *Gasp* Okay... *Cough* Now I don't have to defend this for... *Wheeze* Another six months, right?



Brock's reaction after Eddie told him the "truth" about Tinky Winky.



EDDIE: How the hell did an overgrown baby win the WWE Title?
BROCK: In my happy place, in my happy place, in my happy place...



Eddie Guerrero: The first-ever Unified Underpushed Champion.



Billy looked like he, too, was going to be seduced by the Dead Marshes.

NOBLE: Don't go into the lights!



KIDMAN: Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
NOBLE: For the last time, you ain't Green Lantern! Stop makin' that noise!
KIDMAN: Reeeeeeeern...



Y'know, I'm kinda surprised Vince hasn't outlawed the Giant Swing yet.



Obviously, Nidia was impressed with her purchase at the first WWE Bachelors Auction.



RUE: ...in two collector's covers for those of you 15-year-old losers who can't rent real porn!



Steven Richards' interference was quickly thwarted by a clothesline from a quick-thinking Rey Mysterio.



REF: Ow!
REY: What is it, Chuck?
REF: I just knocked my hand on some kind of gla--oh, shit.



REY: Hee hee! No! Stop pummeling me, Stumpy!
CHAVO: Stop laughing at me, bro!



KURT: I recognize that penis. Hi, Ste--Bob?!?



KURT: Jesus, I just want to call my parents!
BOB: Leggo mah quarter, boy!



"El Kurt" debuted to rave reviews with his fantastic dragonsteiner finisher.



KURT: Enjoy it while it lasts, Bobbo. You're not going to be doing this again until the next time you get injured and come back!



KURT: Brian, this is NOT a good time for the Spinaroonie.
BRIAN: But I'm the third! Third! Third Hebner to be a referee in WWE!



Paul thought he'd alleviate the tension by making fart noises into the microphone.



Stevie got his revenge, when he slapped the taste out of Cena's mouth.



Paul sent the fans home happy by pointing to each and every one of them while making soothing ocean noises.

--

What happened to me? Have I lost my touch?

[Blue Demon]

Rikishi: We should run before Vince or Hunter realise what happened....

[Vastardikai]

These are going to be tough...



Basham: It's your turn to take Scotty's Stinkface...



Scotty: Go Go Gadget Arm!



When the Basham declared that he was going to do the first ever 810 splash, Rikishi hit the floor laughing.



Ref: Ok, i'll give you the Title, just put some pants on...



This is the moment when Rikishi discovers that there is not enough Fabric in the WESTERN HEMISPHERE to cover his ass.



He shows off his belt to all of the Bats in the audience.



Cena: I feel...Different. (Reps to he who gets THIS one...)



Heyman: You're not gonna get her naked by the end of this song on MY watch...



Show: Your Hairline's receding...

Billy: What?

Show: And you're talking like Steve Austin, too!



Billy: I'm go out for burritos, wanna come?

Show: NOOOOOOOO!

Billy: Please!



Try as he might, Nick Patrick just COULDN'T get the Big Show to see his Barry Horowitz impression.



Billy taps after the Big Show threatens to have him turned back into Rockabilly.



Thing asks for a US Title Shot, scaring the bejeasus out of the Big Show



Brock: Where did Ralphus go?

Eddie: That's Jericho's head of security, not mine!



Eddie's turkey call makes Brock hang his head in shame.



Eddie FINALLY found something to keep him from digging the lint out of his belly button.



Noble is impressed by Kidman's "Smooth Criminal" Lean.



Kidman: There's something on your chin, let me just...

Noble: That's my Goattee, you dimwit!



Kidman: Can you hear me now?



Noble: Isn't that the same coat Sapphire used to wear when she was with Ted DiBiase?

Nidia:Um, Uh... NO!

Noble: What about that ticket for a trip around the World...

Nidia: SHIT!



For every copy of L.A. Boy you buy, you get a free issue of Plabo? Sounds like a deal if you ask me...



Misterio has a very rare case of right foot turning into Father/Son meeting disease.



No one quite understood why Charles Robinson slapped the bottom of Chavo's boot...



Vince found a way to show something more offensive than the Superbowl Halftime Show.



Sometimes it takes desperate measures to stop Kurt from re-enacting his 1-800-Collect Commercial in the ring.



Kurt gets to pick first in the Sandlot Baseball game held after the match...



Kurt: Just Dial Down the Center with...

Ref: that's the wrong commercial.



Little did Bob know, Kurt had the words "The Big Shot? replace that O with an I and that's what the fans USUALLY take during his matches" on the bottom of THAT boot...



Bob: Tell Kurt that I NEED that foot! There's some Tough Enough kids that still need to be stomped.



Big Show: I got to pee!

Paul: NOT NOW!



Cena's rendition of the Tomahawk Chop wows the audience.



Leave it to Big Show to mess up the pose of the newest WWE Stable: Team Teapot.

[Mr. Monday Morning]

Damn, these pics do look kinda sucky. Still some good stuff above though, so let's see what we can do...



"Is that peanut butter in your teeth? It is! YOU! YOU ATE MY LUNCH!"



Scotty hadn't quite mastered the mechanics of heel and face tag team wrestling. It's the HEELS that get outside assistance Scotty...



Rikishi was bored waiting for his pizza to arrive.



"AYYYYYYYYYY pizza time!"

"I'm not a delivery boy, I'm the referee!"



Rikishi: *sobbing* "...and I wanted pepperoni, and some peppers, and some pineapple..."

Scotty: "There there, it's ok. We can go pawn these belts they just gave us and go hit Pizza Hut."



Rikishi: "AYYYYYYYYYYYYY we're goin to Pizza Hut, see you later everybody!"

Scotty: *muttering* "Oh God, I have to watch him eat again."



"Damn woman, don't you ever blow your nose properly?"



Cena: "Yo, you got a handkerchief or something I could have man?"

Heyman: "Me? Do you know who I am? Shane Douglas gets 75% of my paypacket for the next 3 years, I can't afford a handkerchief!"



Show: "What the hell just touched my leg?"



Gunn: "Oh come on, don't act like you don't want it."

Show: "NO!"



Nick Patrick just HAD to let Show know about his new ivory back scratcher.



Gunn: "*cough*..So you're..*gasp*...into strangling huh? Kinky!"



Poor WWE logo ends up in the worst places...



It was time for Brock's weekly Spanish lesson

"Uhhh...pongamos el burro en la iglesia."



"Let us put the donkey in the church? That's it, I told you if you messed up again you'd have to hand the belt over. C'mon."



Eddie'd give the belt back in a few minutes. Yeah. Just a little bit longer. Only a few minutes. He just wanted to try it out. To try out the precioussssss...



Welcome to the 1st annual World Leaning Championships



Kidman took the lead in the floor category, as not only did he manage to lean but also turn at the same time!



Now in the assisted category, Kidman attempts the highly dangerous 'HHH Improper Sell' maneuver.



Nidia had seen some things in her time, but even *she* had never seen a man bend that way.



The Playboy Plastic Special, coming soon. Guest centerfold - Cher!



The match was paused for Chavo Sr.'s midday Rogaine.



And then his flexibility treatment.



Then his afternoon siesta, as Chavo Jr. desperately tried to salvage the match.



"Lower...lower...little to the right...OH yeah, that's the spot."



The We Hate HHH society's secret handshake was becoming insanely complicated.



Kurt's methods for checking for headlice were...unorthodox.



Bob held on with all that he had. He was staying in the main event dammit!



"How you gonna keep up with me when I break your ankle huh? HUH? Hey I made a funny!"



The combined reflective glare of the belt, Heyman's head and Angle's oiled up body set a woman in the front row on fire.



To try and take the crowd's mind off the terrible tragedy, Cena performed his impersonation of a fire engine.



Heyman had a warning for anyone who felt like trying anything backstage. They would all bow to the power of...The Reflectors!

-----

[Corkscrewed]

I think the pics were just sort of ho-hum.

Here's another one:


Billy: "You're coming with me onto this Atkins Diet whether you want it or not!"
Show: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Me wuv carbo filled ring rope!!!"

[Kane Knight]

WE ARE NOT A HEADBANGERS KNOCKOFF!



Rikishi suddenly found that the ropes provided more support than any sports bra...



Danny Basham loses his balance trying to spell "Y-M-C-A" from the turnbuckle.




In a controversial decision, the ref promises Rikishi the title if he would only lower his arm, for the love of God!



Thinking quickly, a fan behind 'Kishi give him a wedgie...Thus disabling half of his moveset.



The first mother/son tag-team champions didn't go over well with the crowd



Cena: Heyman wants me to WHAT?



Heyman: That's right, John, you can be as big as Triple H...And all you need to do is...

*ziiiiiiiiip*




Billy sighed. First the "Ass Man," Then he was "Chuck's Boyfriend," and now he'd been pushed as "Big Show's Bitch."

Maybe the internet fans were right...

Nah.



Billy: But Paul, you never take me ANYWHEEEEERE!



Having fired Zach gowen, the WWE needed to hire another token disability: So they turned to John "Stumpy" Summers, the one armed ref.



Big Show: I will name him George, and I will hug him and pat him and...



To his dismay, Big Show realised he had forgotten to tape Star Trek.



Brock: Tinky Winky is NOT gay!



Thanks to Affirmative Action, the WWE was forced to create the WWE "illegal immigrant" title.



Kidman fell asleep, mid match, thus proving that the continuously "slowdown" that the WWE had pushed had gone too far.



Kidman: Hey, Jamie, you got something in your teeth. Let me get that for ya...



The WWE HMO's Chiropractor



"I didn't know you could DO that to yourself!"



"We're banking on you being unable to get a grilfriend..."



Chavo's timing on his "Good Luck Kiss" was controversial to say the least.



Paying your dues, Bradshaw style.



Kurt: Yeah, well at least I SHAVED mine, what's your excuse?



The closest Holly will ever come to carrying a match.



Oiled and naked, Kurt was ready to go at it "Roman Style."



"Oops I did it again..."



Paul Heyman was furious...Now they'd have to pay royalties to air Smackdown...

Here we see the Bashams new face painting segment in which the Bashams help others turn into their favorite superstars via facepaint. The ref is anxiously awaiting to be turned into the Ultimate Warrior as Scotty prepares to be turned into Raven.



One might conclude that Rikishi was reaching out to tag Scotty, but in reality, he was trying to reach for the "Free Small Cone." winning game piece in the back of Danny's pocket



Rikish, "I won a small cone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ref, "Here you won this too."
Ricishi, "Heh"




Scotty couldn't help but huggng Rikishi upom hearing the Kish say he would share the small cone with him.




In order to get Evolution more exposure, the WWE had wrestlers hold up HHH's World Title and Randy Orton's I.C. title throughout Smackdown.



Cena, "You've heard of Sean O'Haire too."



Cena, "So this guy Dragon Ultimate and this guy O'Haire are real wrestlers."
Heyman, "That's what I've been told"
Dawn, "I think it's actually Ultimo Dragon, John."



Show, "Billy..Billy..Where did you go..Billy..
Billy, "Very funny Show."



Here we see a U.S. Champion using psychology at it's highest level




And here we see a U.S. Champion using a great array of tecnical attacks.



Your U.S. Champion Ladies and Gentlemen




Brock does an impression of Goldberg watching Jeopardy




Eddie does his impression of HHH during backstage meetings.



Is Nidia suppossed to be blind without the glasses too? I mean, she must of seen the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle taking pictures in the stands.



After the low ratings of shows like Confidential and Velocity, the WWE decided to replace them with it's new hardcore porn show featuring WWE divas. Here we see a live phone sex segment with RUE.


Holly, "...I'm Hardcore god dammit."
Angle, "OHHHH I'm so scared."


Even Angle knew to say a prayer to God before doing a high spot with Holly.




The ref is just making sure Holly hasn't broken his own neck yet.



Angle, "We'll I'm a former World Champion
Show, "So am I"
Angle, "I'm an Olympic Gold medalist."
Show, "Well I'm the greatest U.S. Cham..............
Heyman, "Okay Show, that's enough.


Heyman, "Okay John, so what new word have we learned tonight?"


Cena, "ULTIMO"

[Showstopper]

How do you do these???

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Kane Knight Thanks to Affirmative Action, the WWE was forced to create the WWE "illegal immigrant" title.

ROFLMAO!!! That's a Caption of the Year candidate!

[FourFifty]

Okay peeps, I have a good reason why I didn’t start the caption thread this week. It’s called “lazy”

All jokes are considered mine ‘till proven swiped in the court of law.

BEWYAH!


Revenge of the wrestlers! This time the ref gets the “stain on your shirt” gag!


No matter how hard he tries, Rikishi can’t reach the invisible ham sandwich.


As God wakes up from a nap, he notices that somehow The Bashams won the tag team titles.


Rikishi: Maybe if I offer my new belt to The Alter Of Helmsly, I won’t remain a jobber forever!


The last time a winning wrestler got this emotional I clearly remember the phrase “HORWITZ WINS! HORWITZ WINS!”


The match went too smoothly for Rikishi, so be botched the belt hold.


Cena: Yo Dawn, you are one fiiiiiine hunny! Tell me, do you have any white in you?
Dawn: That pickup line only works if we’re a different race, ya know.


Paul: What about a little Jew in you, Dawn?
Cena: You’re what, this big?


After months with no one on one competition, Billy seriously wonders if he could carry a hoss in the match.


And the two lasers above the ring are charging, waiting for the right moment to strike.


Nick: Wait a second! You mean you’re defending the Hoss Weight title?


Billy: Oh no! I can’t afford an uh-oh… not in these tights…


If you look to the left of The Show’s hand, you find a fan that was so insulted by the ending of that match he is trying to take off his own head.


Brock: Look Belty! That’s what TALENT looks like! Been a while since you’ve seen that!


Eddie: Hey Brock, who designed your shirt?
Brock: Me did! Me did!
Eddie: Ese, you botched your shirt. The WWE logo should be on the back near the top.
Brock: Belty wanted shirty like that!
Belty: Why the hell am I with that guy…


Vince: Wait a second! He’s a talented wrestler who got over by his skill in the ring, not through story lines and giving it to my daughter in the ass! GET THAT TITLE OFF OF HIM!

[FourFifty]

To reassure the fans that Jamie Noble is a red neck, he did the funky chicken!


Nothing stops Kidman from his invisible car!


Now nothing against Kidman, but god damn, that’s the worst frankenstiner I’ve ever seen!


No, that isn’t Nidia. As we all know Nidia didn’t quite look like that, nor did she have fake boobs. That is the first ever gender queer wrestler, Mack.


Woman: Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, the only thing SmackDown has over Raw!


Chavo Jr: Now dad, this is the part of the match where Rey hits his finisher, the 619. You ready?
Chavo Sr: And you complied about me making you look bad?


Ref: Wow, does Rey have six fingers?
Chavo Jr (off screen): REY HAS SIX FINGERS!?!?!?


Chavo Jr: Hello! My name is Indingo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Rey: I only have five fingers!
Chavo Jr: LIAR!


At this point Kurt realizes who he’s wrestling… and wonders why he gets stuck with the mid carder VS main eventer match this week.


What these men forgot is they need a table for arm wrestling.


Ref: Holy Crap! Who is in the midst of botching what?


That is why no one from SmackDown, let alone a white boy from SmackDown should do the SpinARoonie.


Botching just isn’t for wrestlers anymore. While the ref tried to turn heel, he just couldn’t quite hit Holly with the shining wizard.


Show: I mean, a television title in a company with PPVs as their main TV time? What was he thinking?
Kurt: Yeah! And a ref that enforced the rules that was heel!
Paul: Are you two talking about ECW again?
Show: And a move called the clap trap? I mean, how bad can you get? Does he hate Bret Hart or Sting?
Kurt: It was all bad writing and bad book keeping.
Paul: Now I know you two are talking about ECW...
Show: Paul's little fed should of been known as WWF Jr!
Kurt: Yeah, it’s no wonder he went under before WCW did.
Paul: Uh, guys, I’m right here...
(Show and Kurt keep talking 'till the camera fades out)


I title this picture “Guess where Dawn Marie is”


Taking sides with countless Raw fans, Paul, The Show and Kurt are all outraged that Stacy and Jackie didn’t get the playboy deal.


Belty: I’ve been with you for too long… Poor Buddy must be rolling in his grave…
Brock: Yeah, he must be!
Eddie: Who are you talking to, ese?

[FourFifty]

omg I suck this week...

[Blue Demon]

Wait a minute...you mean I AM the US champ?

[FourFifty]

Mega props to all for trying this week. Not the best pics, but damn good captions, albeit nothing will beat "Shoot this man in the ass" in my heart. Hell, I've been saying that at work.

Me: Hey Bossman, where's the coors vendor? We're running out of Rolling Rock.
Boss: He won't be here 'till Tuesday.
Me: Shoot that man in the ass!
Boss: I wonder about you, Daniel...

[FourFifty]

Kidman finds out that the mat really does taste like shnozberries!!!
('k, that was funny when I was drunk)

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Always450 Mega props to all for trying this week. Not the best pics, but damn good captions, albeit nothing will beat "Shoot this man in the ass" in my heart. Hell, I've been saying that at work. Me: Hey Bossman, where's the coors vendor? We're running out of Rolling Rock. Boss: He won't be here 'till Tuesday. Me: Shoot that man in the ass! Boss: I wonder about you, Daniel...

ROFLMAO!

[PorkSoda]

Rikishi: OH YEAH!

Ring Announcer: Quick, get him the Right Guard...no, the Right Guard, not the Anti-Fresh.



Paul Heyman turns on the lights.

John Cena: ....Sharon Osbourne?



Tickle Me Elmo!



Is Rikishi holding the title upside down?

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by Always450 Mega props to all for trying this week. Not the best pics, but damn good captions, albeit nothing will beat "Shoot this man in the ass" in my heart. Hell, I've been saying that at work. Me: Hey Bossman, where's the coors vendor? We're running out of Rolling Rock. Boss: He won't be here 'till Tuesday. Me: Shoot that man in the ass! Boss: I wonder about you, Daniel...

Before I get one more person on AIM asking me if I really work for the Big Boss Man, no, I don't. From time to time I call my boss "Bossman."
And in all honesty I'm more likely to ask about the miller vendor for not bring in enough Corona.
I work at a supermarket, not a bar. I stock beer.
Stop IMing me with stupid questions.

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by Showstopper How do you do these???

http://members.migente.com/Cyndys_Codes4u/
Look up some basic HTML codes on how to post pics.
When the pics are up, post them with your captions.
The best way to get the addy for the pics is to right click the pic, go to propoties, and then cut and paste the URL.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Always450 Before I get one more person on AIM asking me if I really work for the Big Boss Man, no, I don't. From time to time I call my boss "Bossman." And in all honesty I'm more likely to ask about the miller vendor for not bring in enough Corona. I work at a supermarket, not a bar. I stock beer. Stop IMing me with stupid questions.

ROFLMAO!!!

Hey, how did your boss feel that time he dragged Big Show's dad's casket around the cemetery?

[FourFifty]

Okay, this'll be my last shot before Raw...


Jan turns heel as Zan refuses to activate the wonder twin powers.


The Show couldn't decide if he should be proud for being part of the Four Horsemen, or if he should try that adkins diet so he could lose the fat in his fingers for the Version One taunt/

Buddy Rogers could only glare from heaven with his eyes focused on the belt that has been with Brock for too long.

SmackDown supports human cloning, but since it's a little uncool to some people, they decide to disguses their resarch as soft core porn (just look at the pics)

Eddie: So this is what it feels like to be a credible wrestler who hasn't been burried or over pushed with the world title.
Belty: *sniff* I haven't felt this way since Bret!
Eddie: WHAT THE HELL ESE?!?!?!? IS IT TALKING!?!?!?

All Nidia could do is gasp in shock. She COULD see Cena!!!

Billy was about to laugh. The sky wench was going to pick up The Show.
The Show as about to laugh. The tractor beams were about to take Billy's tights.

I have no idea who is about to say Uh-oh...

[FourFifty]

Okay, this'll be my last shot before Raw...


Jan turns heel as Zan refuses to activate the wonder twin powers.


The Show couldn't decide if he should be proud for being part of the Four Horsemen, or if he should try that adkins diet so he could lose the fat in his fingers for the Version One taunt.

Buddy Rogers could only glare from heaven with his eyes focused on the belt that has been with Brock for too long.

SmackDown supports human cloning, but since it's a little uncool to some people, they decide to disguses their resarch as soft core porn (just look at the pics)

Eddie: So this is what it feels like to be a credible wrestler who hasn't been burried or over pushed with the world title.
Belty: *sniff* I haven't felt this way since Bret!
Eddie: WHAT THE HELL ESE?!?!?!? IS IT TALKING!?!?!?

All Nidia could do is gasp in shock. She COULD see Cena!!!

Billy was about to laugh. The sky wench was going to pick up The Show.
The Show as about to laugh. The tractor beams were about to take Billy's tights.

I have no idea who is about to say Uh-oh...

[Corkscrewed]

All Nidia could do is gasp in shock. She COULD see Cena!!!

ROFLMAO!! Finally pulled through! One of the week's best!


One more, I guess.

(for those who've seen the Playboy pics)

In a shocking development, Torrie and Sable were revealed to be lesbian twin sisters who were now being confronted by their daughter who'd been conceived via artificial insemination from one of the two. Too bad Rue couldn't tell which one was which.

[Good Ol JG]

Sorry it's been a while guys, I've had a lot of stuff to do lately. But hopefully I'll be back full time...


Doug: "You can dance if you want to..."
Cordaris: "Can I leave my friends behind?"
Doug: "Cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance-"
Scotty: "They're no friends of mine!"
Doug (while kicking Scotty violently): "Shut up!"




Rikishi's fat was getting to be so much that even the ropes weren't safe.



Danny Basham would soon learn the hard way that interpretive dance while on the top rope was not the best idea.



Ref: "Hot potato!"
Rikishi: "Mmmmm....potato...."



The crowd sat in hushed silence as the longest and most shameful man hug in history was displayed in front of their very eyes.



Rikishi's happiness can only be compared to that of a kid in a candy store...a really fat kid...with a huge ass and no talent...



Dawn: "My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard..."
John: "Word life?"



Paul:"Ah-hem...Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Thou art more lovely and temperate."
John: "Yo, that was whack!"



In an attempt to reunite old crappy tag teams, the crowd was stunned as the WWE reformed the ShoGunns...



And they still can't seem to work together.



Big Show paused in mid move as Nick "Don't call me Knobbs" Patrick suggested that they "get nasty" and give Billy Gunn a "pit stop."



Why is Big Show growing a midget from his belly?



Boy was Big Show glad that Vince had his US Belt dipped in fudge, so glad he decided to order 5 more just like it.



Brock: "You mean there is no easter bunny? Nuh uh! He visited me last night! He gave me cream filled eggs and I sat on his lap and he whispered sweet nothings in my ear!"
Eddie: "Uh...holmes...you sure that was the easter bunny? Or was it this guy?"
*The titan tron then shows a picture of Vince wearing nothing but a fluffy pink thong and little bunny ears*
Brock: "



No matter how hard Eddie tried to cheer him up, Brock could never feel like a man again...



Eddie (waking up from a deep slumber): "Guys, I had that dream again!"
Benoit: "What dream?"
Eddie: "I was the WWE Champion, and Paul Heyman was the head booker, and Rhyno was pushed and oh, Sean O'Haire was being used!"
Vince (in background): "It was only a dream Eddie...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"



Kidman: "Hey a penny! A heads up penny! That means good luck! I'm gonna get a push!"
The crowd then watched in horror as Kidman was thrown into the abyss and never heard of again...



Noble: "For the last time I don't want a knuckle samitch!"



Maybe it was the pressure of being on his SmackDown in about 5 months or maybe it was that he was losing his touch, either way Kidman's hurricanrana left a lot to be desired...



Nidia: "I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE!"
*She then runs blindly into a tree*
Nidia: "Nope...I was wrong."



Rue: "That's right, both of these 6 feet tall Playboy issues can be your's for only the small price of your soul!"



Ref: "C'mon short fry you wanna box, arrrrrrr...."
Rey: "What the hell?"



Somethin tells me a baseball slide that rips off half of someone's leg is not being properly done.



Rey: "Hey! Get your thumb outta my eye, man!"



Kurt: "I like to singa about the moona and the Junea and the Springa...I like to singa."
Bob (laughing): "Hey cut it out!"



Voice Over: "Only one of these men would have the distinction of having the gayest wrestling attire around..."



Kurt payed his homage to Prince by showing off his assless singlet.



Ladies and gentlemen...Hardcore Burt PluggAngle!



Kurt: "Come on Bob, Brian will be gentle."
Bob: "You said the same thing about Earl!"
Kurt: "OK Earl is a bit rough, but look at Brian, he just screams compassion!"



Kurt: "Oh yeah? Well you're stupid!"
Show: "You're stupid!"
Kurt: "You're a 7 foot pile of worthless crap!"
Show: "You're a....7 foot...pile of...c...c....crap!"
Paul: "KIDS! DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND!"
Show and Kurt: "Sorry dad..."



Try as he might, Cena could not resist the urge to lick the microphone...



Paul: "You're a..."
Kurt: "No Paul, no more homo jokes for you! Bad Paul!"
Paul: "Awwww...."

[Vega]

Nidia couldn't maintain her blind gimmick anymore after she saw a ninja turtle in the crowd.

[loopydate]

*Singing*

JG's back and there's gonna be trouble. Hey la hey la!

*Ahem* I mean...welcome back, bro!

[Innovator]

Originally Posted by Good Ol JG Nidia: "I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE!" *She then runs blindly into a tree* Nidia: "Nope...I was wrong."

Men in Tights